What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"People say, "Pain has a purpose." While we all know that's true, statements like that are often pretty unhelpful for the person in pain. Physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual pain takes a toll and can push people to doubt or even walk away from what they once believed.Barnabas Piper is a pastor and author who has walked through a lot of his own pain. From the difficulties of growing up a pastor's kid (and a well-known pastor at that), to unexpected job loss, to an unwanted divorce, there were many experiences that led to cynicism in Barnabas' life. In our conversation, we talked about his story, his pain & trauma, and why it invited him closer to God rather than driving him away. About how good care from loving people was a gift from God to help him heal. And about how our presence in other people's lives - as they walk through pain - can offer them the same gift.Barnabas is an author, speaker, podcast host, and Assistant Pastor at Immanuel Church. He is married to Laura, is the father of three kids, and lives in Nashville TN.#barnabaspiper #immanuelchurchnashville #helpmyunblief #thepastorskid #belong #johnpiper #pain #healing #church #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversationBarnabasPiper.comBarnabas' books on AmazonImmanuel Church, Nashville TN Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Greg & Stacey got to meet and talk with a couple we've wanted to know for a long time... a couple offering hope for men and women harmed by toxic messages.Sheila Wray Gregoire has been a writer and blogger for many years. But in 2021, with the release of The Great Sex Rescue (which she co-authored with Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky), she became an "infamous" name in evangelical Christian circles. The book calls out by name Christian books and authors whose messages contribute to harm within marriages and to individuals.Along with her husband, Dr. Keith Gregoire, Sheila continues to promote the message that God intended men and women to experience incredible sexual intimacy in their marriages, and to provide resources to help people identify and heal from damaging messages they've always heard.Their latest book, The Marriage You Want: Moving Beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health, releases March 11, 2025.#sheilawraygregoire #keithgregoire #thegreatsexrescue #themarriageyouwant #baremarriage #sexualintimacy #greatsex #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversationSheila's website: Bare MarriageSheila on InstagramSheila & Keith's (and co-authors') books on AmazonVideo Course: The Whole Story: "The Talk" for Parents and Kids Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"For our first episode of 2025, Greg & Stacey talk about the first week of January, in which they have TWO significant anniversaries. The first is their wedding anniversary, but just two days later is the anniversary of Greg's "Fan Day," when his 20+ year-long addiction was exposed.Each year, the first week of January is a chance for Greg & Stacey to reflect on where they are, what healing has looked like, and what they've learned in recovery. We hope as you listen to their 100% unscripted conversation, you'll be encouraged about what can happen when a person (or a couple) surrenders to God's process of healing and recovery.Check out our links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!#Greg Oliver #StaceyOliver #anniversary #anniversaries #fanday #therapy #counseling #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversationRed Therapy Group (practice in Franklin TN, offering Emotionally Focused Therapy marriage intensives)Jenna Riemersma (expert in the Internal Family Systems model referred to in the episode) Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"We're closing out 2024 with a conversation with a long-time friend of mine. David Graves is - among many other interests - a photographer who uses his camera to capture images that connect us with faith. This year he released a book, Alabama Faith: Churches and Stained Glass. It's a collection of over 125 photos from almost 100 churches across the state of Alabama. David's desire for the book is that these pictures would remind people that there is always hope, and that no one is ever beyond redemption.Whether it's reminiscing about on-stage worship leading blunders, growing up in a family where not going to church on Christmas was NOT an option, or needing and receiving grace when life blows up, this was a great time for me to catch up with an old friend. As you prepare to walk into a new year, we hope it will encourage you to look for glimpses of hope wherever you are.#davidgraves #alabamafaith #stainedglass #coffeetablebook #hope #redemption #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversationAlabama Faith: Churches and Stained Glass (on Amazon)David's photography websiteDavid on InstragramSupport the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Known as the "Mr. Rogers of personal development," Mike Foster is a best-selling author, speaker, and executive coach empowering people to build strong lives by turning their setbacks into superpowers.Mike is the creator of the Primal Question Framework, host of the highly acclaimed Primal Question podcast (formerly Fun Therapy), and creator of Rescue Academy, a training model for caregivers.In our conversation we talk about curiosity and how it is an essential PRE-step to action. Curiosity helps us understand what we and others are going through, and also helps us determine what healthy actions we want and need to take. We also talk about his most recent passion, helping people identify their Primal Question, the one question that drives everything in life. Mike lives in San Diego. He and his wife Jennifer have two grown children and live with their fluffy dogs.#mikefoster #primalquestion #peopleofthesecondchance #rescueacademy #funtherapy #purpose #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversationMike Foster's website (mikefoster.tv)The Seven Primal Questions book (on Amazon)Primal Question free assessment (5-7 minutes to complete)Primal Question podcast (formerly called "Fun Therapy")Rescue Academy (coaching tools for caregivers)People of the Second Chance Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"The best therapists are the ones who have done their own work. That's what I love about my guest Will Mooney. Will has his own story of unwanted sexual behavior, and also of serving in pastoral ministry. After finding his own help and recovery, his life went in a new direction, away from working in the church and into becoming a therapist. Not only A therapist, Will happens to be MY therapist. 😊In our conversation (which is NOT bound by confidentiality), we discuss how Will made the decision to pivot to counseling, our own relationship as therapist and client, and about the tendency many helpers have to "fix" clients instead of support them.Will is deeply trained in the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM), which employs curiosity, support, and the encouragement of self-agency on the part of the client. He is the founder and director of Made and Matter Counseling, and lives in the Nashville TN area with his wife and kids.#willmooney #madeandmattercounseling #therapy #counseling #narm #narmtraining #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversationMade and Matter Counseling (Will's counseling practice)NARM Training Institute (counseling modality we discussed, including how to find a NARM practitioner in your area or virtually)Questions For Jesus (book Will referenced) Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Over the past 25 years in Christian music, few other bands have been as influential or have a sound as instantly recognizable as Tenth Avenue North. They have released multiple records with hope-filled songs for people who live with crippling shame. Tenth Avenue North's "frontman," Mike Donehey, started the band while all the members were in college. For two decades their music was everywhere - on the radio, on people's iPods, and being sung & played in churches all over the world. Then in 2020, growing families and the toll of being on the road led the band to call it quits. As Mike says, they were committed "not to sacrifice family on the altar of our band."After a short time as a solo artist, Mike really missed playing with a band, and in a gift to all of us recently relaunched Tenth Avenue North. The sound is fresh but still familiar, some of the other members are new, but the purpose is the same... as Mike puts it: "I just want to lift peoples' shame, one song at a time."Our conversation chases down a lot of paths - a (literal) back-breaking high school injury that was the catalyst to Mike learning to play guitar, to the early days of the band, to the things he learned in transition, to what provides creative "irritation" for not only songwriting but also writing books. Throughout the conversation, though, what is constant is Mike's thoughtfulness and focus on things that really matter.#mikedonehey #tenthavenuenorth #noshame #thestruggle #thelightmeetsthedark #followers #cathedrals #findinggodslifeformywill #graceinthegray #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw  #connection #conversationTenth Avenue North band websiteMike Donehey artist websiteMike's booksSupport the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"After what we hope was a great Thanksgiving, please enjoy this "Little Extra Helping" of the podcast. While recording the intro to Episode 23 with Carol Sheets, Stacey and I talked for quite a long time. Too long to include it all in the episode itself. But we felt like what we talked about could be helpful for other people, so we're sharing that entire part of our conversation with you now.Don't forget to listen to Carol's episode, "The Gift of Empathy," and get caught up on all our episodes you may have missed.#Greg Oliver #StaceyOliver #marriage #empathy #communication #therapy #counseling #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversationSupport the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"People being introduced to today's wealth of resources for sexual addiction and sexual betrayal trauma recovery owe a lot to our guest. Carol Sheets, also known to her radio, podcast, and YouTube audiences as "Carol the Coach," was among the first therapists to become a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT). For years she has been offering encouragement, advice, and resources not only for recovering sex addicts, but also for their partners recovering from betrayal trauma. In 2019 Carol released Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help Their Partners Heal. This was a simple, practical guide to help recovering addicts understand the pain their partners experience with sexual betrayal, and to give them tools to develop the needed skill of empathy. Carol also created a model for couple's recovery called ERCEM (Early Recovery Couple's Empathy Model), understanding that for couples who have experienced sexual addiction and betrayal to heal, BOTH partners eventually need to discover empathy for the other's past experiences with trauma. Her 2022 book Help Them Heal: Teaching You Both How to Heal Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal, helps couples navigate this difficult work and understand that there is hope for couples after sexual betrayal.Some of the "initials" we talked about in the episode include:CSAT - Certified Sexual Addiction TherapistAPSATS - Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma SpecialistsERCEM - Early Recovery Couple's Empathy ModelAVR - Acknowledge, Validate, Reassure (empathetic communication skill)Greg & Stacey had a great conversation where Carol shared how she got started, how she remains committed to learning newer and better ways to help people, and she even took some time to talk through a recent trigger Stacey experienced. We're grateful for the lifetime of work Carol brings to people in recovery, and we believe you will be too.#carolsheets #carolthecoach #helpherheal #helpthemheal #empathy #ercem #apsats #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw  #connection #conversationCarol The Coach's websiteCarol's books (on Amazon)Sexual Addiction: Strength/Hope/Recovery (Carol's podcast) Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"Have you ever gotten lost in a conversation, unaware of how much time has passed, or even exactly what you were talking about? That's kind of how I felt talking with my John Lynch. It's easy to get pulled into John's warmth and sincerity, but he's also intense when talking about God's love for his children.John co-wrote a book that changed my life several years ago. The Cure: What if God isn't Who You Think He Is and Neither Are You?  had a radical impact on my life and recovery, and on how I saw God's love and grace. As someone who had spent most of my life trying to earn God's pleasure and approval, the way John and his co-authors described grace was a complete game-changer.We talked not just about The Cure, but about another of John's books, On My Worst Day. It's a memoir of sorts, where John dives deep into his own life, and gives glimpses of what Jesus may have been thinking and saying to him throughout the story. There's something in there for all of us.Whether the thing that has you discouraged is addiction, failure, unrealized dreams, whatever... John's words are a refreshing cup of cold water. I hope this conversation will help you today!#johnlynch #johnlynchspeaks #thecure #truefaced #onmyworstday #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw  #connection #conversationJohn's speaking website (JohnLynchSpeaks)The Cure (on Amazon)On My Worst Day (on Amazon)Andrew Farley's books (author John references in the conversation) Support the showAwaken websiteRoots Retreat Men's IntensiveRoots Retreat Women's WorkshopAwaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)