We read the papers so you don’t have to, now every Monday and Friday. Today: Elon Musk joins Donald Trump at a rally and all of the papers are cringing. Jonn tries to explain why The Daily Mail is so obsessed with Sue Gray’s employment status. The Guardian shares some rizz-free sex advice that prompts Jan to recite some of her own fiery frissons. And finally – Miranda is troubled by the nation's butler shortage as highlighted in The Telegraph. This used to be a country!Miranda Sawyer is joined by YIMBY journalist Jonn Elledge and queen of impressions Jan Ravens.Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here!Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.comFollow Paper Cuts:• Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshowIllustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters ProductionPodmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to, now every Monday and Friday. Today: The Daily Mail is outraged that Starmer has given up the Chagos islands. The Times introduces Jason to the polycule while Jonn sympathises with Kate Lister’s underwear struggles in The i. Finally, we all bond over Daniel Craig’s mid life style crisis as reported in The Guardian.   Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedy writer Jason Hazeley.  Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here! [insert link: https://dice.fm/partner/artist/event/pyonwk-paper-cuts-live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-12th-oct-the-clapham-grand-london-tickets]  • Get tickets for Levitation, the annual festival of electronic music and ideas presented by friends of the pod Castles In Space, at Bedford Esquires on Sat 5 Oct. And here’s a taster playlist of who’s on: here. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.com  Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow  Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com   Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production. Podmasters.co.uk  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to, now every Monday and Friday. Today: Mums! Kemi Badenoch thinks you’re getting too much maternity dosh – and other political mentalness. Mail loon Liz Jones’s messy love life takes another bad turn and Grainne is “totally here for it.” And the Times celebrates ten years of normcore (quietly). Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedian Grainne Maguire. Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions: back.papercutsshow.comFollow Paper Cuts:• Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshowIllustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production and music by Simon Williams. Production: Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production.Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Book it! The Daily Mail shares exclusive excerpts from Boris Johnson’s book. Not for lazy mums. We’re introduced to Britain's smuggest trad wife in Secrets & Lives. Kiss and tell. The Telegraph ranks political smooches from the Clintons to the Starmers. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Anniki Sommerville and comedian Jacob Hawley.Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here!• Get tickets for Levitation, the annual festival of electronic music and ideas presented by friends of the pod Castles In Space, at Bedford Esquires on Sat 5 Oct. And here’s a taster playlist of who’s on: here!Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions. back.papercutsshow.comFollow Paper Cuts:• Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshowIllustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters ProductionPodmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A right mess. The Guardian explains how Musk’s twitter takeover has hurt the right. We are not amused. The Sun looks into the conflicting reports about Meghan Markle’s track record as a boss. Monster-in-law. The Daily Mail has found the world’s worst mother in law. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedian Alistair Barrie.Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here!• Get tickets for Levitation, the annual festival of electronic music and ideas presented by friends of the pod Castles In Space, at Bedford Esquires on Sat 5 Oct. And here’s a taster playlist of who’s on.Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our live stream on the 26th of September: back.papercutsshow.comFollow Paper Cuts:• Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshowIllustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters ProductionPodmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Out of the frying pan. The Papers can’t decide how they feel about Starmer’s big speech but the tabloids love his one gaffe. Don’t call it a comeback. The Sun reveals that Philip Schofiled is returning to primetime TV but does anyone want him? Oh yes, wait a minute Mr. Postman. The Telegraph investigates the mysterious poison pen letters hounding a remote Yorkshire village. Miranda Sawyer is joined by author Emma Kennedy and comedian Chantal Feduchin-Pate.Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here! Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our live stream on the 26th of September: back.papercutsshow.comFollow Paper Cuts:• Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow• Get tickets for Levitation, the annual festival of electronic music and ideas presented by friends of the pod Castles In Space, at Bedford Esquires on Sat 5 Oct. And here’s a taster playlist of who’s on: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4EBQbDcgPFEf9Bx5AJvvrX?si=a572a2d92dd24231Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters ProductionPodmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Conference man. The Papers preview Starmer’s speech. Could we be in for a glimpse of hope? Nasty pasty. Are Cornish Pasties facing extinction? The Times thinks so. Fauxductivity crisis. The Guardian’s guide to looking busy while you do very little work.  Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by the journalist Holly Thomas and birthday boy Jason Hazeley.   Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here!  Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our live stream on the 26th of September: back.papercutsshow.com  Follow Paper Cuts: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow • Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow  Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com   Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production  Podmasters.co.uk  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Empire state of mind. The Deputy PM is under fire for her New York holibobs. Case of the ex. The Observer considers the benefit of getting back with your ex. Doggy style. The Guardian’s Emma Beddington tries to live a day in the life of a dog.Miranda Sawyer is joined by the journalist Jonathan Lis and master impressionist and comedy icon Jan Ravens. Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here!Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our live stream on the 26th of September: back.papercutsshow.comFollow Paper Cuts:• Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshowIllustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters ProductionPodmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: No strings attached. Business Sec. says high value gifts are fine and dandy for Starmer. The Daily Star is not amused. Swiss barmy strife! The Daily Mail lifts the lid on elite private schools in Switzerland. How was it for you? The Guardian asks their readers for bad date stories and they don’t disappoint. Miranda Sawyer is joined by the journalist Zoë Grünewald and comedian Jessica Fostekew. Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here!Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our live stream on the 26th of September: back.papercutsshow.comFollow Paper Cuts:• Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshowIllustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters ProductionPodmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Shades of Gray. Starmer’s top spad is making bank, and the Daily Mail is livid. Second class citizens. The Guardian investigates Kemi Badenoch’s claim to be ‘working class’ because she once worked in McDonalds. Would you like fashion with that? The Independent does a deep dive on the fast food fashion trend. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by the journalist Holly Thomas and comedian Jacob Hawley. Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Earful podcast festival on 12 Oct. Tickets here!  Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our live stream on the 26th of September: back.papercutsshow.com Follow Paper Cuts:• Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@papercutsshow• Threads: https://www.threads.net/@papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com Written and presented by Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production Podmasters.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices