Taylor Payne is playing mediator, albeit not a very neutral one, with George Caulkin and Chris Waugh at loggerheads. Could it be the least interesting feud in history?Perhaps we're restless because everything is going so well on the pitch. Crystal Palace were no match for Newcastle at St James's Park on Saturday; Dortmund should provide a stiffer test on Wednesday.Becky Langley's NUFC Women also strolled to victory on Sunday and there was a heartening reception for Sandro Tonali with news imminent on his punishment for illegal betting.Donate to the NUFC staff charity challenge here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're all together again for our only podcast of the week, and our first opportunity to react to the huge news that Sandro Tonali has been implicated in an illegal betting scandal from his time in Italy.Details are emerging in waves, albeit at a hectic pace, but it looks like Tonali will face a lengthy ban from football. We consider the implications for the player himself and for the team and the club.Not many goals to talk about on the pitch: it was a slightly disappointing result for Becky Langley's women, despite a dominant performance against league leaders Burnley, and nil-nil is often the score when Crystal Palace visit in the Premier League. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Live from the Gosforth Civic Theatre in the heart of *checks notes* Newcastle's most middle class suburb, it's our stage debut!With special guest Alan from Work(!!!!), Taylor and the boys look back at a magnificent two-year spell since the takeover and rejoice in last week's battering of Paris Saint-Germain.Please note; although a lot of saucy audience-only stuff has been removed (including the whole of part two, a live Q&A) this podcast still has some tasty language, even by our grubby standards. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Full house again on our last podcast before we go live to the geordie nation at Gosforth Civic Theatre on Thursday night.Alexander Isak flipped a tired performance on its head with two goals as Eddie Howe's men came from behind to lead West Ham at the London Stadium. Unfortunately, they couldn't see out the game, but a point feels pretty good after a momentous week and we're in decent shape going into the international break.No such problems for the women's team. Bridget Galloway kept her magical run going as Becky Langley's lasses ran out comfortable winners at Liverpool Feds; they will take a 100% record into their home game with unbeaten Burnley on Saturday.(Jacob's article on Alexander Isak referenced in the show can be found at: https://theathletic.com/4531978/2023/08/08/alexander-isak-explosion-newcastle/) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wowowowowowow! The whole team have been assembled to look back on what may be* the greatest night in Newcastle's footballing history.So, sit forward, don't relax, but do enjoy our analysis of a demolition. Luis Enrique's PSG team, featuring the world's greatest playerTM, did not know what hit them at St James's Park.From goals scored by local heroes, to incredible stories of redemption, to our club taking the most prestigious club competition of all by the scruff of the neck... we've got every angle on that incredible evening.*we know, we know Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Taylor Payne brings you our Monday show with George Caulkin and Jacob Whitehead celebrating football's sexiest two words... we'll whisper them into your ear.Paris Saint-Germain getting relegated from Ligue 1 is about as likely as Jacob winning Masterchef, but Peter Rutzler, THE RELEGATOR, joins us for our Champions League preview so maybe he can help us put them into the Europe League.All that, plus the latest madcap victory in a great start to the season for NUFCW, several misguided animal metaphors, and an inquiry into potential phone-w*nkery. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Taylor Payne reviews the Carabao Cup Third Round win over Manchester City with George Caulkin and perennial chip-pisser Chris Waugh.Eddie Howe made ten changes including a home debut for teenager Lewis Miley and, while the youngsters performed admirably, City dominated first-half possession at St James's Park.But, the game changed with half-time subs Bruno and Gordon triggering a furious burst of pressure resulting in a goal for Isak that sealed the tie. Our reward is a trip to Old Trafford in the next round, but next we host Burnley in the league. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chris Waugh and Jacob Whitehead join Taylor Payne for a detailed breakdown of Newcastle's incredible 8-0 win at Bramall Lane.It was the club's biggest ever away win in league football and, for the first time in Premier League history, eight different players scored.Next up, the trifling matter of Manchester City in the third round of the Carabao Cup. Without anything else to be negative about, Chris rails against the concept of sponsorship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 years in the making... Newcastle returned to the Champions League and they returned to Milan. Get your headphones on for the full stereo effect as George Caulkin brings you the trip in binaural audio....and there's a full debrief with George, Taylor, and Chris. It was a great point, but was it a good performance? Did the decision to arrive as late as possible backfire? And is Chris getting enough sausage? We answer all these questions and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

George Caulkin reports from Milan as Newcastle United return to Europe, to the Champions League, and to the San Siro with a midweek fixture away to AC Milan.Taylor Payne, Chris Waugh, and Jacob Whitehead review three vital Premier League points after Eddie Howe's men beat Brentford again to regain some crucial momentum going into the UCL group stage.And, with George and Alan from work both suffering with amnesia, we've the best of your memories of Newcastle's past Champions League campaigns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices