No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery

Every man or woman who struggles with porn addiction carries trauma and emotional struggles. In my own personal porn addiction recovery journey, I’ve come to understand many things about the emotional pain that I carry. And by understanding it, I’ve been able to release much of it, and I continue to after a decade of sobriety from porn. In my professional work with clients, I’ve come to see many of the same patterns - the same burdens, insecurities, and coping mechanisms. If you or a loved one is suffering from porn addiction, you must understand that the addiction goes much deeper than a desire for sexual pleasure, and today we talk about these deep psychological dynamics. In this episode, I am privileged to be with HollyKem and Dean Sunseri, authors of A Roadmap to the Soul and incredible coaches that have been helping people across the world for over 30 years.Dean is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a Doctorate in Ministry, and HollyKem has experience as a Substance Abuse Counselor. Their approach is powerful and compassionate. In today's episode we dig deep into the mental and emotional drivers of pornography addiction, We talk about why people can’t get sober, and we discuss bad advice we get that actually makes pornography addiction worse. We also talk about healing past trauma, how to forgive yourself and others, how to quit porn, and how to save your marriage AND improve your sex life. BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsSchedule a Free ConsultationIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramJoin My Email NewsletterMORE EPISODES3 Easy Steps to Stop Porn Addiction | The Frontline Framework with Dan JohnsonHow to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn RelapseThe 4 Root Causes of Porn AddictionHow to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from PornStop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust HabitsMusic: https://www.bensound.comLicense code: RWCFSCSZSZDATWZSSupport the showNo More Desire

In the episode, Dan Johnson gives you 3 easy steps to stop porn addiction. This process is called The Frontline Framework.Dan Johnson with New Paths is another man just like myself helping men overcome porn addiction. Dan and I not only discuss this framework but also dive into multiple psychological and lifestyle strategies you can begin using right now to quit porn. BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsSchedule a Free ConsultationIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramJoin My Email Newsletter$ Donate $MORE ARTICLES1 Year of Porn Addiction Withdrawals | What to Expect During Your First Year After Quitting & How to Stay SoberHow to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn RelapseThe 4 Root Causes of Porn AddictionHow to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from PornStop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust HabitsTrauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn AddictionThe Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn AddictionMusic by: bensound.comLicense code: A9P6JLOLOLX77WYJ Support the showNo More Desire

I recently had someone reach out to me directly to ask about porn addiction withdrawal—what it really feels like, what challenges come up, and how to get through it. Their question instantly took me back to the beginning of my own porn addiction recovery journey.When I was six months sober, it was one of the most beautiful yet difficult times of my life. I was learning so much about myself. But I was also facing challenges I never expected.You might have heard people describe withdrawing from porn as mild—a process that only lasts days or weeks. But I’ll be honest, that hasn’t been my experience, nor the experience of the clients in my program or the people I’ve volunteered with. For most of us, porn addiction withdrawal is a longer, more complex process.Why Does Porn Addiction Withdrawal Feel So Hard?First, let’s be clear: You’re not crazy if you feel like quitting porn is a battle. Pornography is highly addictive—some studies suggest it’s as addictive, if not more, than cocaine. It hijacks your brain’s reward system, creating a dopamine rush that can feel impossible to resist.Here’s the kicker: withdrawal from porn mimics some of the same symptoms of porn addiction itself. Why? Because using porn spikes dopamine to extremely high levels, which damages your brain and inhibits its capacity to produce its own dopamine in the short and long-term. To cope with this, you go back to porn again and again to get that “hit”. But when you quit, your brain is suddenly deprived of these dopamine spikes altogether, and this leaves you feeling unmotivated, unfocused, and disconnected from others. BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsSchedule a FREE CONSULTATIONIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramJoin My Email Newsletter$ Donate $MORE EPISODESAnger, Porn Addiction & One Simple Mental Technique to Overcome BothHow to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn RelapseThe 4 Root Causes of Porn AddictionStop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust HabitsMusic: Bensound.com/royalty-free-musicLicense code: QYMIBDWARLOERWX1 Support the showNo More Desire

Anger and porn addiction—what do they have in common? At first, it might seem like the answer is nothing. But think about it: how many times have you been angry, and shortly afterward found yourself relapsing on porn? Or maybe you felt stressed or frustrated after a hard day at work, only to come home and slip up. Doesn’t the shame you feel after watching porn feel similar to the shame after losing your temper in a big fight?In this episode, I’m going to show you the connection between anger and porn addiction, uncover their root causes, and share one simple mental technique to overcome both.Anger and Porn Addiction Are Symptoms, Not the CauseWe often view anger as the problem. We tell ourselves:If I could just get my anger under control...I just need to breathe, think positively, or be more disciplined...Why can’t I stop being so selfish?The same pattern shows up with pornography addiction:If I could just stop watching porn, my life would be so much better...I need to distract myself, stay busy, or focus on exercise...But here’s the truth: anger and porn addiction aren’t the real problem. They’re symptoms of something deeper.BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsSchedule a FREE CONSULTATIONIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramJoin My Email Newsletter$ Donate $MORE EPISODES Quit Porn Using IFS: A Powerful New Approach to Psychology & Addiction RecoveryHow to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from PornStop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust HabitsTrauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn AddictionThe Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn AddictionMusic I use: BensoundLicense code: HPZPNS0IYE62IRVJSupport the showNo More Desire

Explore the innovative Internal Family Systems model, which views the mind as a collection of sub-personalities. Learn how this approach fosters self-compassion and curiosity in overcoming porn addiction. Dive into the internal conflicts faced by those struggling with addiction and hear transformative testimonials from individuals on their recovery journeys. Understand the emotional drivers behind cravings and insecurities, promoting a compassionate path to healing. Embrace self-awareness as a key to transforming your relationship with desires.

Porn addiction and perfectionism go hand-in-hand. If you want to stop watching porn, you need to understand the underlying relationship between porn addiction and these self-critical tendencies. One of the great misconceptions out in the world is that porn addicts are selfish, lazy, or simply don’t try hard enough. But in working with these men one-on-one, I don't see this at all. What if I told you that men who struggle with porn addiction are some of the most self-critical and perfectionistic people there are? What if I told you that porn addicts aren’t people who are lazy, selfish, or don’t care, but are actually sensitive, caring, and deeply want to do the right thing? When we talk about porn addiction, we often focus on willpower and restraint, imagining that the answer is simply "trying harder." But for many of us, perfectionism is an underlying issue that drives the cycle of addiction.When we set impossible standards for ourselves, we inevitably fall short, and it’s in those gaps between our expectations and reality where shame, judgment, and addiction thrive.Through self-acceptance and self-compassion, addicts can heal and overcome porn addiction. They can quit porn by digging deep into the underlying insecurities and mental mechanisms that keep them stuck. Today, I'll teach you how to spot these insecurities and mechanisms so that you can break porn addiction for good. BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsJoin My Email NewsletterIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramSchedule a FREE CONSULTATIONMORE ARTICLESPorn Addiction Positive Affirmations that Are Psychologically EffectiveHow to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn RelapseThe 4 Root Causes of Porn AddictionHow to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from PornStop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust HabitsTrauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn AddictionThe Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn AddictionSupport the showNo More Desire

Do you wish you had a list of recovery mindset statements that could train your brain out of porn addiction? Do you wish you had porn addiction positive affirmations that could convince you to quit porn? Today I am not going to give you that list…because that list does not exist. Don’t believe the hype out there…But what I am going to give you is: Fundamental principles for writing porn addiction positive affirmations.A comprehensive list of positive affirmations that work for porn addiction.How to use these affirmations in your daily life.  I’ll also explain why common porn addiction positive affirmations such as, “I am free from porn addiction”, or ,“I am in control of my sexual urges”, are actually harmful, not helpful, and what statements to use instead. What are Positive Affirmations for Porn AddictionPositive affirmations are statements you can repeat to yourself that are meant to affirm and train your mind to believe in positive outcomes. By focusing on positive affirmations, you can help your brain see yourself and the world in a more positive light. Porn addiction positive affirmations then are statements you can repeat each day to train your brain to believe that sobriety is possible for you, and to begin to believe that you are living a sober life, thereby causing you to act differently and make better choices to recover. They can be effective as part of a larger personalized recovery plan. Build the No More Porn LifestyleFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsJoin My Email NewsletterIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramSchedule a FREE CONSULTATIONMORE ARTICLES4 Psychological Blocks that Prevent Porn Recovery and How to Bust Through ThemHow to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn RelapseThe 4 Root Causes of Porn AddictionHow to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from PornStop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust HabitsTrauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn AddictionThe Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn AddictionSupport the showNo More Desire

You cannot quit porn simply by overcoming sexual cravings and urges. Porn addiction doesn’t ultimately stem from these urges (as surprising as that is).In reality, porn cravings are a symptom of underlying psychological barriers you're experiencing that are preventing porn addiction recovery. Instead of facing or fighting porn cravings, you need to get to the root causes of pornography addiction. You need to access the mental blocks in your mindset and remove them. I’m going to teach you how to do this today. If you properly and consistently follow these 4 steps for emotional processing from day to day, there's an excellent chance you will eventually not need to deal with porn cravings in the first place. They simply won’t be there.It is impossible for me to give you the perfect formula to overcome porn addiction in one blog article. That said, I can give you some tools for emotional processing that rely on sound principles from multiple psychological modalities, including CBT and IFS, as well as spiritual teachings from Eastern and Western Faiths.  BUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsJoin My Email NewsletterIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramSchedule a FREE CONSULTATIONMORE ARTICLESRelapse-Free Business Trips & Vacations | How to Build a Safety Plan to Stop Watching Porn While TravelingHow to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn RelapseThe 4 Root Causes of Porn AddictionHow to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 Steps8 Rules to Get You 3 Months Sober from PornStop Porn Cravings | 7 Tools to Overcome Fantasizing & Lust HabitsTrauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn AddictionThe Porn Addiction Funnel: How To Break Porn AddictionSupport the showNo More Desire

Have you ever had a streak of sobriety, only to go on a vacation or business trip and relapse on porn? In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to take a proactive approach.One of the most counterintuitive things about vacation is that it can be one of the greatest triggers for relapse. Vacation takes us out of our norms and routines, giving way to unanticipated complications and temptations. Business trips can also lead to porn relapse, as we are often under pressure and stress during the day and alone in our hotel room during the night. It’s the perfect storm. You need to set yourself up for success. Recovery is not just going to “happen”. It is deliberate. It is planned. This is true when it comes to travel, especially during the first few years of your porn addiction recovery. Why Vacations Can Lead to Porn Relapse Ironically, vacations can be one of the most triggering situations for many who’ve struggled with pornography addiction. “Going with the flow” and being away from structure and responsibilities can seem like the exact thing you need to stay sober. But the reality is often the opposite of what you need to quit porn. Those who struggle with addiction often have intense minds. We crave meaning, purpose, and excitement. While these forms of meaning, purpose, and excitement may look a bit different for each individual, we all crave them. If we don’t get these things to a reasonable degree each day, we may find it hard not to seek out addiction as a cheap way to "fill the hole." So, it’s up to us to find simple, practical ways to provide ourselves with the healthy outlets and structure necessary to get our daily dose of meaning, purpose, and excitement so we can break porn addiction.Why Business Trips Can Lead to Porn RelapseBusiness trips can be another massive trigger for recovering addicts. These can be high-pressure events where we feel the need to impress high-level professionals and network connections, or face endless hours of education and courses. All of this requires deep focus, and at the end of it all it can be easy to feel like we need a break or “release”.  Addictions can often be our brain’s go-to in order to temporarily “alleviate” this stress. We are also often alone on business trips, which can make us more vulnerable to acting out because no one is there to watch us. If we want to stay sober on a business trip, we need to be wise, deliberate, and pre-emptive. We need to establish a system that supports our porn recovery while we’re out there. In Today's Episode, You'll Learn How to Build a Safety Plan to Stay Sober From Porn on Vacations & Business TripsBUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsJoin My Email NewsletterIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramSchedule a FREE CONSULTATIONMORE ARTICLESWhat Do I Do When My Wife is Triggered? | How to Hold Boundaries and Use the Language of Safety in Your MarriageHow to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 StepsSupport the showNo More Desire

If you’re married and you struggle with a porn addiction, we’re going to talk about what to do when your wife is triggered. I have seen a recurring trend with my clients who struggle with pornography addiction. Many have no boundaries with their partners. They face some very serious struggles and confusion in their marriage, trying to figure out how to react when their wives with betrayal trauma are triggered. In other words, when their wives become angry, defensive, lash out, become critical and insulting, or they shut down and give their husbands the silent treatment. Very common these days - even in circles of recovery - is the tendency to believe that the porn addict can have no expectations or standards for how he is treated, because of the fact that he has betrayed his wife by watching porn, and that ALL of the issues in their relationship stem from his behavior. His wife can berate and put him down, and it is “justified” because of his porn addiction.This kind of treatment can deeply hurt the addict, who by the way, despite his self-centered behavior, is a human being. Betrayed wives will sometimes blame their addict husbands for everything that’s wrong, and this crushes their husband’s self-esteem, causing him to feel hated and worthless. This works against the very thing that the wife wants most, which is a capable, responsible, and selfless husband. Not to mention this does not help him stop watching porn. An addict’s betrayal of their spouse is, without a doubt, selfish. But it is also personally devastating and traumatic for the addict to endure. To overcome porn addiction requires far more than willpower, motivation, or a decision to stop. The recovering addict needs the proper recovery mindset and lifestyle tools, and qualified help for porn addiction. Part of building this recovery mindset and lifestyle is to learn how to effectively engage with your romantic partner. Today, we will discuss the following to help you do this: Understanding the trauma of porn addictionUnderstanding the what, why, and how of triggers for betrayed spousesUnderstanding a spouse’s betrayal traumaTaking ownership over your side of the marriage (and letting the other person’s go)What boundaries are and are notHow to help your betrayed spouse through…Using the language of safetyHolding appropriate boundariesHolding daily couple’s check-insBUILD THE NO MORE PORN LIFESTYLEFREE WORKSHOP: The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for PornFREE EBOOK: The 10 Tools to Conquer Porn CravingsJoin My Email NewsletterIntensive Porn Addiction Recovery ProgramSchedule a Free ConsultationMORE ARTICLESJourney Out of Darkness | A Porn Addiction StoryPorn Addiction is Just a SymptomHow to Help Someone with a Porn Addiction in 3 StepsTrauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn AddictionSupport the showNo More Desire