The Journaling Room

Do you ever feel like you’re falling short during the holidays?If you do, welcome to The Journaling Room. I’m Kendall, and this episode is especially for the mom who feels like everyone else is doing Christmas “right,” while she’s just trying to keep the laundry moving and the kids fed.If you’ve ever thought:“I should be doing more.” “This should feel more magical.” “I’m not giving my family the Christmas they deserve.”…then take a deep breath. You’re in the perfect place today.We’re going to talk about the “perfect holiday script” we all quietly carry—the one that tells us how it should look, how we should feel, and how everything should turn out. And then we’re going to gently rewrite that script with grace.We’ll explore the story you’re living out, the pressure it creates, and how journaling can set you free from perfection and move you toward presence.And most importantly, we will remember that Christ does not measure your worth by your performance—but by His finished work.Journaling Prompt #1: What “perfect holiday script” do I carry in my mind?Journaling Prompt #2: How has chasing that script left me feeling?Journaling Prompt #3: If I rewrote my holiday story around presence, what would it sound like?You can reach Kendall here: Kendall@kendallsnydercoaching.comFB/IG: @KendallSnyderCoachingPodcast Art: @ShieldsMediaStrategiesMusic by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

Before we jump in today, I want to share something that might surprise you: not every Christmas feels like Christmas. And if that’s where you are right now—you are not alone. Welcome back to The Journaling Room. I’m Kendall, and today’s episode is for the woman who feels… numb. Disconnected. Weary. Maybe even guilty for not feeling “festive enough.”If your joy feels thin, if you’re moving through December like you’re watching your life from another room, this episode is a gentle place to land.Let’s take a breath. Let’s take the pressure down. And let’s sit with the truth: your numbness is not a sign of failure. It’s a sign of being human.Today we’re going to journal through the numbness. We’re going to talk about small sensory anchors that can bring us back into the moment. And we’re going to talk about choosing one meaningful practice—not a perfect Christmas, but a faithful, grounded one.Most of all, we’re going to remember Christ—whose presence is not dependent on our emotions. He is steady even when our hearts feel quiet.Journaling Prompt #1: What does numbness feel like for me right now?Journaling Prompt #2: Which small sensory details—sights, sounds, smells—bring me even a moment of comfort?Journaling Prompt #3: If I chose one small, meaningful way to mark Christmas this year, what would it be?You can reach Kendall here: Kendall@kendallsnydercoaching.comFB/IG: @KendallSnyderCoachingPodcast Art: @ShieldsMediaStrategiesMusic by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

Maybe your family dynamics are complicated. Maybe the pressure to make everything perfect feels heavy. Maybe you already know that certain conversations, certain people, or certain patterns will be stressful… again.And you’re dreading it. You’re tired before the season even begins.If that’s you, take a breath. You’re in the right room. And I want this episode to feel like relief — like someone turning on a small light in a crowded, stressful space.Because here’s the truth: Your holiday does not need to be perfect to be meaningful. And you don’t have to carry everything you’ve been carrying.Today we’re going to explore the expectations weighing on you, what’s yours to carry and what’s not, and how journaling can help you craft a “good enough” holiday — with peace, with clarity, and with Jesus right in the center of it.Let’s revisit your prompts as you move into this season:What expectations are weighing on me right now?Which of these are mine to carry, and which are not? 3. What would a “good enough” holiday look like this year?You can reach Kendall here: Kendall@kendallsnydercoaching.comFB/IG: @KendallSnyderCoachingPodcast Art: @ShieldsMediaStrategiesMusic by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

Before we begin today’s episode, I want to say this: if you clicked on an episode about gratitude but you aren’t feeling grateful… you are still welcome here. This space is for you, exactly as you are.Welcome back to The Journaling Room Podcast. I’m Kendall Snyder, your host, your fellow journaler, and someone who has lived through seasons where gratitude did not come naturally — not even a little bit.Today’s episode is for the woman who feels numb. For the woman who feels a little bitter. For the woman who feels weighed down. Maybe even guilty for not being “more grateful.”Maybe life is technically “good,” but your heart hasn’t caught up with that truth. The holidays are approaching, and you want to feel excited — but you don’t. Something in you just feels… flat.If that’s you, hear this clearly: there is nothing wrong with you. You are not “less spiritual.” You are not failing at gratitude. You are not broken.You are human. And God is tender with humans.So today, we’re talking about how to find gratitude when it doesn’t come naturally — and how journaling can create a safe place to be honest, to breathe, and slowly take steps toward softening again.What makes gratitude feel hard for me in this season?What small, ordinary thing can I notice and write about today? 3. If I let one piece of gratitude soften me, how might that change my day?You can reach Kendall here: Kendall@kendallsnydercoaching.comFB/IG: @KendallSnyderCoachingPodcast Art: @ShieldsMediaStrategiesMusic by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

Today we’re talking about something that shows up quietly every November — the pressure at the Thanksgiving table.Whether you’re a mom juggling everyone’s food preferences and emotions… a college student heading home trying to navigate family dynamics… or an empty nester wondering what to do when the table feels a little too quiet — this episode is for you.Because no matter your stage of life, there’s one thing we all tend to bring to the table that isn’t on the menu — pressure.Pressure to make it perfect. Pressure to keep everyone happy. Pressure to be grateful even when things feel complicated.And today, we’re going to journal through that.So as you head into Thanksgiving, journal through these three prompts:What unspoken rules or expectations am I trying to live up to this Thanksgiving?If I could release one pressure, what would it be?3. What three emotions or experiences do I want to “serve at the table” this year?You can reach Kendall here: Kendall@kendallsnydercoaching.comFB/IG: @KendallSnyderCoachingPodcast Art: @ShieldsMediaStrategiesMusic by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

We’re surrounded by cultural images of the “perfect” holiday table — smiling families, gratitude flowing, laughter in every corner. And sometimes it does look like that. But often, it doesn’t.Maybe there’s an empty chair. Maybe there’s a rift that hasn’t healed. Maybe you’re walking into tension that’s been simmering for years. Or maybe you just don’t feel joy this season because grief, exhaustion, or disappointment are louder than gratitude.Here’s the truth: we can’t always fix it. We can’t bring people back, force others to change, or erase years of brokenness in a single meal. But we can write our way toward peace — peace with what is, even when what is feels far from perfect.Step One: Name What Is Radical honesty is the first step toward acceptance. Instead of minimizing, notice and write what’s actually true.👉 Prompts:“What feels unfixable right now is…”“The grief I’m carrying into this holiday is…”“The tension I feel around my family is…”“If I stopped minimizing, I’d admit…”Naming reality doesn’t make you weaker. It makes you more resilient, because you stop fighting shadows and deal with what’s real.Step Two: Release the Illusion of Control In CBT, we call this differentiating controllables from uncontrollables. Much of our suffering comes from overestimating what’s in our control and underestimating our ability to choose our response.👉 Prompts:“What I wish I could change about this situation is…”“The expectation I keep holding onto is…”“What I’ve tried to fix but can’t is…”“The part I need to release is…”Carmichael again reminds us:“He said, ‘I will accept the death of dear desire, Imprisoned higher, No longer mine to claim. I lay it down. And in its silent place, There burns a steadier flame, A light of peace.’”Step Three: Choose Peace in the Middle of It Acceptance is not resignation. It’s active. It’s saying, “I don’t control everything, but I do control how I think, how I show up, and what I anchor in.”👉 Prompts:“Even though this is hard, the way I want to show up is…”“The anchor truth I choose to hold is…” “My intention for this holiday is…”Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

It’s that quiet bitterness that builds up when we feel unappreciated, overlooked, or wronged. Sometimes it shows up in marriage, sometimes in parenting, sometimes in friendships or even in the workplace.Here’s the hard truth: resentment always promises to punish the other person, but really, it punishes us. The other person may not even know we’re resentful—but we carry the tight shoulders, the ruminating thoughts, the loss of joy.Today we’re going to walk through a journaling practice to help you move from resentment to release. I’ll show you how to:Name the resentment honestly.Explore what you wish the other person would do.Take ownership of what’s yours—and release what isn’t.And through it all, we’ll anchor back into the truth of who you are in Christ, because only His love is big enough to free us from bitterness.Step One: Name the ResentmentStart by writing it exactly as it is—raw, unfiltered, un-pretty.👉 Prompts:“I feel resentful because…”“The story I’m telling myself about this person is…”“The thoughts that play on repeat are…”Example: “I feel resentful because I do so much around the house and no one notices. The story I’m telling myself is that my efforts don’t matter.”Step Two: Explore What You Wish They Would DoResentment is often a signal of an unmet desire. We don’t just resent someone in a vacuum—we resent because we long for something we’re not getting.👉 Prompts:“What I wish they would do is…”“What I long to hear or receive from them is…”“If they could meet me in this, it would look like…”Example: “I wish my spouse would say thank you. I wish my kids would notice my work. I long for appreciation and partnership.”Naming this doesn’t mean the other person will suddenly change. But it gives you clarity about your own heart.Step Three: Take Ownership + ReleaseThis is where we shift. Ask: What is mine here, and what is not mine?Mine: My feelings, my expectations, my choices about how I show up.Not mine: Controlling the other person’s response, making them behave how I want.👉 Prompts:“The part of this I can take ownership for is…”“The part I need to release is…”“Lord, today I release ___ into Your hands.”Example: “I can take ownership of my desire for appreciation by communicating it clearly instead of stewing. I can also anchor myself in God’s delight in me. I release the expectation that my family will always meet my needs perfectly.”Scripture anchor: Colossians 3:13 (NIV): “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

On the outside, we say it with a smile, keep moving, keep working, keep parenting. But inside? We’re tired. We’re hurting. We’re angry. Or maybe we’re just numb. “I’m fine” has become the mask we wear when the truth feels too vulnerable—or when we’ve disconnected so much we don’t even know what the truth is anymore.Today we’re going to talk about how journaling can help you move from I’m fine to I’m real. We’ll unpack why we disconnect, how to recognize it, and a step-by-step journaling process to help you peel back the mask, reconnect with what’s actually going on, and return to your identity in Christ.Step One: Name the MaskStart by writing the exact mask you’re putting on. 👉 Prompts:“The mask I’m wearing right now is…”“What I say out loud is…”“What I show others is…”Example: “The mask is: I’m fine, I’ve got it all together, I can handle this.”Step Two: Uncover the Hidden EmotionThen gently ask: If I weren’t fine, what would I admit?👉 Prompts:“If I were being honest, I’d say I feel…”“The part of me I don’t want others to see is…”“What I’m afraid will happen if I admit this is…”“What I’m avoiding by saying ‘I’m fine’ is…”Example: “If I were honest, I’d say I feel lonely and tired. I’m afraid if I admit it, people will think I’m weak.”Step Three: Reconnect with Truth in ChristFinally, anchor yourself back into identity. Ask: What does God say is true about me here?👉 Prompts:“Even in this feeling, God reminds me…”“The truth of who I am in Christ is…”“Instead of agreeing with the lie, I choose to anchor in…”Example: *“Even in my tiredness, God reminds me He delights in me. Colossians 3:12 (NIV): ‘Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.’”Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

The “What’s Really Going On?” Exercise.Here’s why this matters: often the thing we think is the problem—the messy house, the distracted spouse, the missed deadline—isn’t the actual problem. What’s really going on is that we’ve attached meaning to the circumstance that doesn’t align with truth.This exercise slows us down, helps us peel back the layers, and reveals the deeper thought fueling the feeling. When you see that root clearly, you can challenge it, reframe it, and anchor back into your true identity.Step One: Write the Surface Situation Put on paper what you think is the problem. Don’t edit—just write it down. 👉 Prompt: “What I think is going on is…”Step Two: Ask, “What’s Really Going On?” Now peel it back. Often the surface frustration points to a deeper fear or belief. Ask again and again until you reach the root. 👉 Prompts:“What’s underneath this feeling is…”“What I’m afraid this means about me is…”“The pattern I notice is…”This is where you often uncover cognitive distortions—like catastrophizing, mind-reading, or personalization. Example: “They didn’t answer my text. That must mean they’re upset with me.” When you write it down, you can see: “Oh, I’m mind-reading. I don’t know that’s true.”Step Three: Reframe and Realign Once you’ve spotted the false story, you can challenge it and choose a more helpful belief. 👉 Prompts:“A more balanced way to see this is…”“The truth about me is…”“The thought I want to practice instead is…”Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay

So often, without realizing it, we pick up emotions that don’t belong to us. We absorb our child’s frustration, our spouse’s stress, or our parent’s disappointment—and before long, we’re weighed down by storms that aren’t actually ours to carry.This practice is about emotional separation. It’s not about detachment or coldness. It’s about clarity. It’s learning to sort what’s truly mine, what belongs to someone else, and how to release what isn’t mine to hold.We’ll walk through this with three relational lenses: parenting younger kids, marriage, and navigating relationships with adult children or our own parents. Because let’s be honest—that’s where emotional lines blur the most.Let’s practice this together right now.Think of a current situation that’s weighing on you.Write down every emotion you’re feeling in it.For each one, ask: Mine or theirs?Example: “Fear (mine). Anger (theirs). Guilt (mine, but misplaced).”Circle what’s truly yours to work on. Release the rest.Release doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop over-owning. You can still pray, support, or listen. But you no longer confuse their emotional responsibility with your own.“Even if the storm continues, I can hold onto…”Music by Aleksey Chistilin from Pixabay