PsycHacks

In a previous podcast, I discussed how there are really only two ways to go about dating: you can hunt or you can fish. In this episode, I'll be talking about hunting: what it is and how to do it well. This is an approach that generally works better the higher your standardized sexual marketplace value; however, everyone can improve their skills in this regard. Listen to the episode to learn more. #dating #hunting #relationships

According to recent statistics, women are anywhere from one-and-a-half to three times more likely to seek out mental health services in a given 12-month period than men are. This means that between 60-75% of psychotherapy patients at any given time are women. Why might this be the case? In this episode, I will discuss my pet theory on the subject, which describes how several historical factors conspired to enshrine certain biases in the theory and practice of psychotherapy that continue to exude their influence today. #therapy #psychology #gendergap

The word "conviction" has a mystery inside of it that is revealed by examining its etymological origins. It comes from the Latin words "con," meaning "with," and "vincere," meaning "to conquer." "Conviction" literally means "with conquering," or -- perhaps more felicitously -- "with victory." But victory over what? I'll discuss more in this episode. #conviction #victory #confidence

Luck is not necessarily just the chaotic, random element of chance that pervades the universe. It's a factor over which you can have some measure of influence. The Roman philosopher, Seneca, tells us how: "luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." Therefore, in order to improve your luck, you need to (a) prepare and (b) create opportunities. I'll discuss what that might look like in the context of dating in this episode. #luck #opportunity #dating

Exploring core emotional wounds formed in childhood attachment relationships, leading to beliefs of 'I'm not good enough' or 'I'm not lovable'. These wounds distort perceptions and can trigger compensatory behaviors like perfectionism and people-pleasing.

As people move through life, they are subject to experiencing great pain, suffering, and trauma. And the healthy response to these experiences is to withdraw from and avoid further contact with them. The problem is that these experiences exist in reality -- so withdrawing from and avoiding contact with them also means withdrawing from and avoiding reality. And withdrawing from and avoiding reality can create its own pain, suffering, and trauma. Enter mental illness: it is a compromise solution that enables the individual to avoid pain and suffering as much as possible while avoiding the reality in which they exist as little as possible. #mentalhealth #mentalillness #psychopathology

In this episode, I talk about a realization that I had many years ago with respect to my competitiveness and drive. If misapplied -- that is, if applied toward the general enrichment of someone else -- these otherwise positive qualities can become a trap. To the extent that you are not yet your own master, you are still someone else's slave -- and excelling in that role is not necessarily in your best interests. #competition #ambition #slave

A company that blames and shames its customer base for not parting with its hard-earned money is arrogant and misguided. It's a bad business that blames its customers. If a company is not yet enjoying the success it would prefer to enjoy in the marketplace, it has a problem with its marketing, a problem with its product, or both. This is a lesson easily generalizable to dating and relationships. If you are not yet enjoying the success you would prefer to enjoy in the sexual marketplace, you have a problem with your marketing, a problem with your product, or both. #business #dating #accountability

Exploring the delicate balance of honesty in relationships, this discussion highlights the heavy price of punishing truth-tellers. It reveals how fear of hostility can lead to a web of lies, leaving trust hanging by a thread. The conversation emphasizes that expecting unwavering honesty amidst potential fallout is unrealistic. Ultimately, it raises awareness about how valuing truth over comfort can strengthen connections, while ignoring honesty can introduce significant dysfunction.

The three goals of human interaction is a concept developed by Marsha Linehan for her dialectal behavior therapy module on interpersonal effectiveness. According to Linehan, there are really only three goals humans can have when interacting with others: effectiveness, harmony, and self-respect. Ideally, all three goals are (more or less) met in the course of our interactions; however, sometimes this isn't practically possible. Linehan advocates the conscious and strategic prioritization of one goal over the others in these cases. I'll discuss more in this episode. #dbt #relationships #communication