

Mentally Flexible
Tom Parkes, LCSW
Join psychotherapist Tom Parkes as he has meaningful conversations to help you build mental flexibility. Each episode will explore topics related to psychology, mental health, and creativity. With an open mind and a sense of curiosity these conversations will help you better understand yourself, others, and the world around you.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Aug 25, 2024 • 60min
Matthieu Villatte, PhD | Relational Frame Theory (RFT) & Consciousness
My guest today is Matthieu Villatte, PhD. Matthieu is a psychology trainer and consultant who obtained his doctoral degree in psychology in France, and completed a post-doctoral fellowship at the University of Nevada under the mentorship of Steven Hayes, PhD. Matthieu Villatte is the author of numerous books and chapters on mindfulness, acceptance, experiential therapies, and contextual behavioral science, such as the first manual published in French on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Mastering the Clinical Conversation: Language as Intervention. He is also a peer-reviewed trainer in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy recognized by the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS) and has facilitated hundreds of clinical trainings all over the world. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:- The impact of Mastering the Clinical Conversation- What is was like working in Steven Hayes’ lab- Relational Frame Theory (RFT)- Our innate capacity for language at birth- The implications of RFT on human suffering- The inseparable nature of language and consciousness- And how the complexities of clinical work can become more fluid with experience—————————————————————————Matthieu’s website: https://matthieuvillatte.com/Mastering the Clinical Conversation: https://a.co/d/iWduMiA—————————————————————————Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:Sign up for PsychFlex through the Mentally Flexible link! PsychFlex.com/MentallyFlexibleYou can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexiblePlease subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Aug 11, 2024 • 59min
Dr. William Miller | Charting a Path Through Uncertain Times
My guest today is Dr. William Miller - Emeritus Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of New Mexico. Dr. Miller is a codeveloper of Motivational Interviewing (MI) which has been implemented and researched in an array of settings over the past 4 decades. Dr. Miller’s research has focused particularly on the treatment and prevention of addictions and more broadly on the psychology of change. He is a recipient of two career achievement awards from the American Psychological Association and has published 65 books and over 400 articles and chapters. Dr. Miller’s new book is called 8 Ways to Hope: Charting a Path through Uncertain Times, which we discuss in this episode.Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:- A bit of Tom’s background with Motivational Interviewing- The many facets of hope- Trust, optimism, and false hope - Some of Dr. Miller’s personal story- Addiction, trauma, and psychedelic-assisted therapy- And the role of meaning and purpose in hope—————————————————————————Dr. Miller’s website: https://williamrmiller.net/8 Ways To Hope: https://a.co/d/cJm9A2E—————————————————————————Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:Sign up for PsychFlex through the Mentally Flexible link! PsychFlex.com/MentallyFlexibleYou can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexiblePlease subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Jul 21, 2024 • 55min
Alec Pollard, PhD | When a Loved One Won't Seek Mental Health Treatment
My guest today is Alec Pollard, PhD. Alec is founding director of the Center for OCD & Anxiety-Related Disorders at Saint Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute, and professor emeritus of family and community medicine at Saint Louis University School of Medicine. He is a licensed psychologist with a special interest in the study and treatment of individuals with anxiety and emotional disorders who refuse or otherwise fail to benefit from evidence-based treatment. Alec has authored or coauthored more than one hundred publications and leads the Family Consultation Team at Saint Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute.Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:- The story behind writing When a Loved One Won’t Seek Mental Health Treatment- Different types of recovery avoidance- Creating an intentional action plan for crisis - Versions of accommodation that can arise within family dynamics- The importance of staying connected to valued activity- What it looks like to create a family recovery plan- And how to effectively help loved ones move towards recovery —————————————————————————Saint Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute: https://slbmi.com/When a Loved One Won’t Seek Mental Health Treatment: https://a.co/d/cDFJtBu —————————————————————————Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexiblePlease subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Jul 7, 2024 • 57min
Stephanie Catella, PsyD | Cultivating Emotional Intelligence
My guest today is Stephanie Catella, PsyD. Steph is a clinical psychologist with expertise in transdiagnostic cognitive behavioral therapy for trauma, anxiety, and building emotional intelligence. After completing fellowships at the San Francisco VA and University of California San Francisco, she codirected the Berkeley Cognitive Behavioral Therapy clinic. In addition to her private practice, she is the author of an FDA approved prescription digital therapeutic for Fibromyalgia, and is a consultant and content creator for innovative mental health and tech companies. Dr. Catella is a coauthor of The Emotional Intelligence Skills Workbook which we explore in this episode.Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:- How Steph got into the field of psychology and mental health- The difference between emotional intelligence and intellectual intelligence- How emotional skills can be hindered in childhood- Tolerating, coping, and accepting emotions- How emotional intelligence impacts our relationships- The importance of emotional intelligence for the therapeutic relationship - People pleasing and passive-aggressive behavior- The concept of “Kid Jobs” within our family dynamics—————————————————————————Dr. Catella’s website: https://drstephcatella.com/Emotional Intelligence Skills Workbook: https://a.co/d/05G2iF0q—————————————————————————Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexiblePlease subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Jun 23, 2024 • 56min
Adam Alter | Getting Unstuck When It Matters Most
Adam Alter is a Professor of Marketing at New York University’s Stern School of Business with an affiliated appointment in the NYU’s Psychology Department. Adam is the New York Times bestselling author of two books: Irresistible (March, 2017), which considers why so many people today are addicted to so many behaviors, from incessant smart phone and internet use to video game playing and online shopping, and Drunk Tank Pink (2013), which investigates how hidden forces in the world around us shape our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. His latest book, Anatomy of Breakthrough, explores how people get stuck in life and ways to free themselves to thrive. Adam has also written for places like the New York Times, New Yorker, Washington Post, and The Atlantic.Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:- Adam’s background and how it led to his research interests- How vulnerability creates shared bonds - The different types of “stuckness” and their ubiquitous nature- The heart, head, and habit levels of getting unstuck- The concept of “lifequakes” - Stuckness in our professional lives- The value in holding things lightly and making space for silence - And the trap of “more is better”—————————————————————————Adam’s website: https://adamalterauthor.com/Anatomy of a Breakthrough: https://a.co/d/0e0yJYXtIrresistible: https://a.co/d/07Yf02Q6Drunk Tank Pink: https://a.co/d/05zQPeok—————————————————————————Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexiblePlease subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Jun 3, 2024 • 46min
Dr. Frank Anderson | Authenticity, Trauma, and Healing
My guest today is Dr. Frank Anderson, MD. Frank is a Harvard Medical School school trained psychiatrist, therapist, speaker, author, and trauma specialist. He has spent the past three decades studying neuroscience and trauma treatment, serving as a leader within the Internal Family Systems therapy model. His latest book is an incredible memoir called, To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation.Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:- How truth and authenticity guided the writing of Frank’s memoir - How shame can be an indicator of our level of healing- How working on ourselves enriches our ability to support others- The need to unite and integrate the different models of therapy and healing- The transition from being mentored to mentoring others- Frank’s thoughts on the use of social media for teaching and healing - What it means to truly heal a wound- The Three R’s: repeating, repressing, or repairing—————————————————————————Dr. Anderson’s website: https://www.frankandersonmd.com/To Be Loved: https://a.co/d/7jWLggv—————————————————————————Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexiblePlease subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

May 20, 2024 • 52min
Dr. Mark Shrime, MD | The Transformative Power of Purpose
Dr. Mark G. Shrime discusses his journey from Lebanon to the US, finding purpose in medicine, embracing failure for growth, and the transformative power of aligning career with passion. He reflects on cultural identity, pressures faced, and the importance of taking action towards one's true calling.

Apr 28, 2024 • 1h 8min
Dr. Carrie Hayward | The Being Human Collection
My guest today is Dr. Carrie Hayward. Carrie is a clinical psychologist and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) specialist from Australia dedicated to helping individuals lead more meaningful lives. Carrie is also an author and has recently published the amazing Being Human series, a collection of four narratives that delve into the complexities of our shared human experience. The Being Human series seeks to equip readers with the psychological resilience and flexibility needed to live meaningful lives even through difficulty. The four books each focus on a different aspect of the human condition, providing teachings and practical processes for readers to implement.Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:- How Carrie first got into ACT- What it was like training with Russ Harris- The inspiration for the Being Human collection- How focusing on the process versus outcomes changes the nature of our experiences- Ways validating seeking can be seen from many different levels - And we end with Carrie walking us through the Being Human Method—————————————————————————Dr. Hayward’s website: https://www.carriehayward.com/The Being Human Collection: https://a.co/d/2zampofd—————————————————————————Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexiblePlease subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Apr 14, 2024 • 47min
Dr. Brian Thompson & Dr. Brian Pilecki | ACT-Informed Exposure
My guests today are Brian Thompson, PhD and Brian Pilecki, PhD, two of the authors of ACT-Informed Exposure for AnxietyBrian L. Thompson, PhD, is a licensed psychologist; and director of the anxiety clinic at Portland Psychotherapy in Portland, OR. He specializes in working with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive and related disorders, and has published research in these areas.Brian C. Pilecki, PhD, is a clinical psychologist at Portland Psychotherapy who specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders, trauma, and matters related to the use of psychedelics. Brian also has extensive experience in the areas of mindfulness and meditation, and incorporates them into his therapy with clients. He is an active researcher and has published on topics such as anxiety disorders, mindfulness, and psychedelic-assisted therapy.Some of the topics we explore include:- How both Brians were first introduced to ACT- What inspired writing ACT Informed Exposure for Anxiety- The importance of willingness in exposure work- The types of challenges people face where exposure may be helpful- How exposure can be fluidly integrated into a much broader scope of clinical challenges- Helpful and unhelpful ways to consider values in exposure work- Exposure Hierarchies vs Menus - Overlaps and differences between traditional habituation and ACT approaches to exposure—————————————————————————Portland Psychotherapy: https://portlandpsychotherapy.com/ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety: https://a.co/d/5qAh5O7—————————————————————————Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexiblePlease subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Mar 31, 2024 • 56min
Dr. Marina Rosenthal | High Conflict Couples
My guest today is Dr. Marina Rosenthal. Marina is a licensed psychologist dedicated to serving high-conflict couples. She earned a PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of Oregon, where she received extensive hands’ on supervision and further honed her skills in the VA system working with veterans and their partners with concurrent and complex struggles. Marina now runs a private practice and is thoroughly trained in Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT), an empirically supported treatment which has many similarities to ACT.Some of the topics we explore include:- How Marina got into working with high-conflict couples- The tendency to pathologize partners in order explain relationship issues- Finding a balance between acceptance and change- How individual therapy can sometimes sabotage a relationship- The difference between high-conflict and abusive relationships- Ways to build awareness and understand function in conflict patterns- Some common relationship myths- Working through the decision to stay together or split up- And some examples of how high-conflict couples can successfully grow and heal—————————————————————————Marina’s website: https://www.drmarinarosenthal.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmarinarosenthal/—————————————————————————Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexiblePlease subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth