It's a Good Life

“Our brains and our bodies are designed to connect with other people. We are hardwired to connect.” – Joe Ehrmann Scientifically and biologically, we are created to be in relationships, but it’s not always easy. In this episode, the fifth in a special series of six, Brian and Joe Ehrmann discuss what it means to love unconditionally inside a healthy relationship. Topics include the three basic things that every person needs to connect with others, the vital importance of deep friendships and the reasons why our wounds can stop us from developing the sorts of intimate connections that we are designed to have.   READ FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT   YOU WILL LEARN: The qualities that exist in a loving relationship. How to love people who are difficult to get along with. Why you must always work on yourself first.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: InSideOut Initiative Gilman School HBO Real Sports, Part 2 “Season of Life,” by Jeffrey Marx   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “If we could ever address the lack of meaningful relationships with people in this world, we could deal with most of the social problems in this society.” – Joe Ehrmann “Friendship means you get face to face. You reveal your deepest, most intimate struggles and who and what you are.” – Joe Ehrmann “All relationships in one way or the other fall into two categories: It's either a relationship built around devotion, or it's a relationship built around duty.” – Brian Buffini “Relationships are always organic. You might have had a great loving relationship three weeks ago, but you’ve got to keep working on that relationship. It takes time. It takes commitment. And it takes investment.” – Joe Ehrmann   https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“There is a joy and a fulfillment that you get every day in the pursuit of fulfilling your own potential.” – Brian Buffini  We all know we’re capable of achieving more in life, but how can we fulfill our untapped potential? In this episode, recorded in front of a live studio audience, Brian explains how you can use the gifts and talents you have in order to go farther than you ever imagined. Topics discussed include the symptoms of unfulfilled potential, why challenges and difficulties can bring out the best in you and the critical importance of written goals.   YOU WILL LEARN: Why your best is yet to come. What holds you back. How to get to where you want to go.   Free Business Consultation   If you feel like you’re not where you want to be right now and want to get to the next level, Buffini & Company can help! At Buffini & Company, we’ve been keeping the momentum going for years with thousands of small business owners across North America who benefit from our business coaching. Click the button above to schedule your free business consultation.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Schedule your free business consultation “The Best Is Yet to Come,” by Frank Sinatra “I Hate Christian Laettner” ESPN documentary Coach John Wooden Coach Lou Holtz   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “We've seen ourselves at our best. We've seen ourselves at our worst. And then we see ourselves, a lot of the time, kind of every day, kind of vacillating between the two. And the truth of the matter is, we know we're capable of more. We know we have some untapped potential.” – Brian Buffini “You were designed, you were built and you were created as a unique person with a unique set of potential and gifts and talents inside of you.” – Brian Buffini “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela “If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn “Envy is the ulcer of the soul.” – Socrates “Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they're afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, it carries a responsibility with it, it's much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I'll’ philosophy.” – Denis Waitley “It's impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you fail by default.” – J.K. Rowling “Success is almost totally dependent on drive. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning.” – Denis Waitley “People often say motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar “Most people want to change their circumstances but don't want to change themselves. But changing yourself is where the magic is. That's where the value is.” – Brian Buffini   https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Healing is a lifestyle. It's a lifelong journey to process this.” – Joe Ehrmann Healing is a continual journey, with many ups and downs along the way. In this episode, the fourth in a special series of six, Brian and Joe Ehrmann teach the process of healing and explain why it will help you experience fuller relationships and ultimately find your transcendent cause and purpose. Topics discussed include why it’s vital to verbalize your wounds and share them with someone you trust, why you must question the beliefs behind your emotions and why the discipline of journaling is so helpful in digging for truth.     READ FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT   YOU WILL LEARN: Six steps to heal from the wounds of your past. Why pain is a part of healing. Why healing yourself positively impacts others.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: InSideOut Initiative   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “There's a certain reality that whatever we resist is going to persist in our life. The more we avoid, or deny or suppress the wounds of our life, the more they continually show up.” – Joe Ehrmann “The mind or our subconscious doesn't hide things from itself. They continually stay there. They keep playing. Those old wounds and the messages that came from those wounds continue to play.” – Joe Ehrmann “We need someone in our lives that we can share this journey with, this healing process with. Someone with whom we can share our most intimate and deepest secrets.” – Joe Ehrmann “Life really is about digging for the deeper truth and the meanings of life.” – Joe Ehrmann “You've got to give yourself permission to really feel what you feel. Emotion is energy.” – Joe Ehrmann “You've got to keep digging deeper into the truth, into belief systems, and see whether they're true or whether they're false. Don't let emotional discomfort determine for you whether something is true or false.” – Joe Ehrmann   https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“If you try to build intimacy with another person before you've done the difficult work of getting whole on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself.” – Dr. Les Parrott Your relationships with other people are only as strong as you are. In this episode, Brian talks to best-selling author and relationship expert Dr. Les Parrott about his new book, “Healthy Me, Healthy Us,” and discovers why the single most important thing you can do to improve your relationships is to become a whole and healthy individual yourself. Topics discussed include how Les and his wife Leslie have worked together for decades to help improve people’s relationships, including cofounding the dating website eharmony.com; the importance of humility and getting feedback from others; and the value of conflict and fighting fair.   YOU WILL LEARN: Why profound significance is so vital. How you can lean into unswerving authenticity. Why you must nurture self-giving love.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: www.lesandleslie.com “Healthy Me, Healthy Us,” by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts,” by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott “Love Talk,” by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott “The Parent You Want to Be,” by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself,” by Shad Helmstetter “The Purpose Driven Life,” by Rick Warren “Learned Optimism,” by Martin E.P. Seligman “The Shawshank Redemption” movie “Good Will Hunting” movie “Dead Poets Society” movie www.eharmony.com   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “Relationships are the hub of the wheel.” – Dr. Les Parrott “No one was designed to complete you. That's the work that you have to do.” – Dr. Les Parrott “Awareness is curative. Once you become aware, then you can do something about it.” – Dr. Les Parrott “Unswerving authenticity is all about knowing your purpose, following that path and not just walking down that path, but running down that path.” – Dr. Les Parrott “Just being yourself is good enough to be great.” – Brian Buffini “We have opportunities to walk the extra mile in big ways and little ways.” – Dr. Les Parrott “The happiest homes are the homes that are filled with an abundance of mutual empathy.” – Dr. Les Parrott “Conflict is the price we pay for deeper intimacy.” – Dr. Les Parrott   https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Empathy is part of our human nature. It's the capacity to feel what other people are feeling. It's what separates animals from human beings. It's part of our nature; but it also has to be nurtured.” – Joe Ehrmann If we don't address the wounds that we experience in life, we will go on to similarly wound others. In this episode, the third in a special series of six, Brian and Joe Ehrmann discuss why developing empathy for ourselves and others is a crucial step in helping us to understand and move forward from the hurts of the past. Topics discussed include why we often build rigid defense mechanisms and destructive life patterns to cover our wounds, how we can transform these patterns and become wounded healers and what role faith takes in this journey.   READ FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT   YOU WILL LEARN: How a lack of empathy manifests in society. The differences between positive and negative empathy. Why journaling helps to make sense of the journey to healing.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: InSideOut Initiative   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “If we don't enter into the woundedness of ourselves; if we don't identify and name our own life patterns; if we don't see the destructive behaviors that come out of that woundedness, we become the wounders.” – Joe Ehrmann “We take the people we love, the people we want to be invested in and that we care about, and we can't help but wound them because we haven't addressed our own woundedness.” – Joe Ehrmann “You have to take that first step of entering those wounds with a sense of empathy.” – Joe Ehrmann “One of the missing pieces in America is a lack of empathy. We do victim blaming, we have apathy and indifference. But we've got to learn how to develop positive empathy for people, their situations and, particularly, for ourselves.” – Joe Ehrmann “They always say the most competitive sport in America is parenting.” – Joe Ehrmann “You've got to take those wounds from your past and heal them so you can move forward.” – Joe Ehrmann   https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“No matter what you've lost, you can rebound.” – Brian Buffini We all experience loss in life, but getting back up after a fall is the most powerful thing we can do. In this episode, Brian shares timeless principles for recovering after loss. He describes how he experienced failure on his own journey to success, how he rebounded and came back stronger than ever and how it’s possible for everyone to do the same. Click below for your copy of The 10 Ancient Scrolls for Success. DOWNLOAD FREE RESOURCE   YOU WILL LEARN: The value of the ‘I did it before, I can do it again’ mindset. The power of reserves. The importance of investing in the future.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: “The Greatest Salesman in the World,” by Og Mandino “Miracle” movie President Jimmy Carter’s speech “Man's Search for Meaning,” by Viktor E. Frankl “The Richest Man in Babylon,” by George S. Clason   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl “Do you have to experience a loss to learn? No, it just turns out that failure is the greatest teacher of all.” – Brian Buffini “I never lose. I either win or learn.” – Nelson Mandela “I'm the only person I know that's lost a quarter of a billion dollars in one year. It's very character-building.” – Steve Jobs “Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.” – Arthur Schopenhauer “The lessons we learn in sadness and from loss are those that abide. Sorrow clarifies the mind, steadies it and forces it to weigh things correctly. The soil moist with tears best feeds the seeds of truth.” – Theodore T. Munger “Blaming others and shaming yourself is going to do nothing for you; but you can learn from loss.” – Brian Buffini “If you neglect to recharge your battery, it dies. And if you run full speed ahead without stopping for water, you'll lose momentum to finish the race.” – Oprah Winfrey “We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise, we harden.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe “And that's what I'm going to tell you the biggest lesson is about loss. It either makes you better, or it makes you bitter.” – Brian Buffini “Worry is a waste of an emotional reserve.” – Ayn Rand “You have the power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius “The first copper you save is the seed for which your tree of wealth shall grow.” – George S. Clason “Only buy something that you'd be perfectly happy to hold if the entire market shut down for 10 years.” – Warren Buffett   “The single greatest edge an investor can have is a long-term orientation.” – Seth Klarman “It was never my thinking that made the big money for me. It was always my sitting.” – Jesse Livermore “Never invest in a business you can't understand.”  – Warren Buffet “No stock, no bond, no business has ever produced bigger results than myself.” – Brian Buffini “You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em.” – Kenny Rogers “It's not how hard you fall. It's how high you bounce.” – Tom Kelly     https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“We've got to name these wounds. We've got to enter into them, touch them, heal them, verbalize and then release them so that we can be the people that we were created to be.” – Joe Ehrmann   Wounds from your past can have a devastating impact on the way you feel about yourself and others. In this episode, the second in a special series of six, Brian and Joe Ehrmann teach how to identify and heal those wounds that make it difficult for you to truly love and be loved. Topics discussed include how a deeply personal experience with his young son led Joe to reflect on his own relationship with his father; how an incident in Brian’s childhood inspired his motivation to succeed in life; and why healing is not about affixing blame, but about understanding what shaped you.   YOU WILL LEARN: The three basic questions we all have about identity, intimacy and industry. How we can be wounded by our nature, our nurture and our culture. Why the number one wound in our society is the father wound.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: InSideOut Initiative   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “I think all of us come into this world with three basic questions. And the first is a question of identity: Who am I? The second is a question of intimacy: Who will love me? And the third is one of industry: What can I do with my life?” – Joe Ehrmann “Most people want to change their circumstances, but they don't want to change themselves. The challenge is, if you change yourself, circumstances will change also.” – Brian Buffini “If you have a pebble in your shoe and you leave it there, you're eventually going to develop a limp. And you can learn to walk through life with a limp, but it's better to go back, take it out, then learn to walk properly and then maybe help others get this pebble out of their shoe.” – Brian Buffini “We share our woundedness with others to offer that as a hope for healing.” – Joe Ehrmann “A wound is some unresolved issue. And it's not the fact that we're wounded in life. It's a decision we make as adults to deal with them.” – Joe Ehrmann “All of us have woven into us this deep need for satisfaction. To be unconditionally loved, to be known for who and what we are and to be accepted for that.” – Joe Ehrmann   https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“If you give with an open hand, you'll see an abundance that you never imagined.” – Brian Buffini The Law of the Harvest is an age-old principle of success with a very modern application in today’s world.  In this episode, recorded live at the Buffini & Company MasterMind Summit, Brian explains why you reap what you sow, how the three elements of the law work together and why this powerful formula for success can transform not only your business, but your life too.   YOU WILL LEARN: Why you must first give if you want to receive. Why giving earns you the right to ask. How to grow your business, your influence and yourself.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Buffini & Company MasterMind Summit “Boundaries,” by Henry Cloud   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “Humility is the soil that's required for every growth.” – Brian Buffini “Here's the formula: It's 80 percent give, it's 10 percent ask and it's 10 percent grow.” – Brian Buffini “You need to be able to have value and communicate your value. And, if you can do that, you'll have all the customers you can handle.” – Brian Buffini “Can you put your name to that?” – Harry Buffini “Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” – Albert Einstein “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” – Cicero “You become more influential the more you grow yourself.” – Brian Buffini “Confront your inadequacies and push your personal boundaries. It's the surest way to grow, improve and expand the scope of your influence.” – John C. Maxwell “If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.” Zig Ziglar    https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“All of life is about relationships. It has to do with the capacity to love and to be loved.” – Joe Ehrmann   All of us long to love and be loved, but giving and receiving love is also one of the most difficult challenges we face in life. In this episode, the first in a special series of six, Brian and Joe Ehrmann teach why we must better understand and love ourselves so that we can love other people and receive love in return. Topics discussed include how damaging ideals of masculinity and femininity are passed from generation to generation; how we can recognize and reject these false concepts of who and what we are; and how we can correct and redefine our models for humanity, improve our relationships and discover our true purpose.   YOU WILL LEARN: Three lies of the false self for men. Three lies of the false self for women. Two criteria to measure success as a human being.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: “Season of Life,” by Jeffrey Marx InSideOut Initiative   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “All of us have been wounded on life's journey, and we've got to find some kind of healing so that we can be connected to people at our deepest levels, intimately with our souls and with care and compassion and with empathy.” – Joe Ehrmann “We've got all these young boys and girls looking for all the wrong things in each other and none of them feeling good about who and what they are, because there's this tremendous sense that ‘I don't measure up’.” – Joe Ehrmann “If you don't come to grips with your own woundedness and your own pain, your own false concepts and false self-identity, then these problems are going to go from generation to generation.” – Joe Ehrmann “If you haven't been relationally successful, life ends up becoming extremely unfulfilling. You can only measure success in terms of relationships.” – Joe Ehrmann “At the end of your life, you ought to be able to look back over and know that the world is a different place, a better place because you lived, you loved and you were involved, and you live that as some kind of other centered purpose.” – Joe Ehrmann   https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Instead of a cancel culture, we need a kindness culture.  Instead of engaging in conflict, we have to engage in discourse.” – Brian Buffini   Division is everywhere in our world today. In this episode, Brian reflects on why people have become separated and teaches how we can come together to be more unified. He explains why this is one of the most unusual times in our history, shares some observations about where we are in our cultural dialogue and outlines proactive steps everyone can take to heal and reunite.   YOU WILL LEARN: Why respect for others is so important. How to have grace. Why we shouldn’t conform.   MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: “The Third Option: Hope for a Racially Divided Nation,” by Miles McPherson “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” by Dale Carnegie “Dead Poets Society,” movie How to Love and Be Loved, podcast series with Joe Ehrmann   INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill "All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent." – Thomas Jefferson “Nothing great has ever happened from hate.” – Brian Buffini “Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.” – Dale Carnegie “If there's any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own.” – Henry Ford “You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view.” – Harper Lee “The smallest change in perspective can change a life.” – Oprah Winfrey "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." – Marcus Aurelius "It's not what you look at that matters. It's what you see." – Henry David Thoreau “In diversity, there is beauty and there is strength.” – Maya Angelou "The whole is greater than the sum of the parts."– Aristotle "None of us is as smart as all of us." – Kenneth Blanchard "Diversity: the art of thinking independently together." – Malcolm Forbes “If we find ourselves becoming critical of other people, we should stop examining them and start examining ourselves.” – William Barclay “I do not understand the mystery of grace, only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." – Mark Twain “Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.” – Eleanor Roosevelt "Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth." – President John F. Kennedy "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." – Ralph Waldo Emerson "Conformity is the last refuge of the unimaginative." – Oscar Wilde “I still believe America’s best days are yet to come.” – Brian Buffini   https://www.TheBrianBuffiniShow.com http://www.brianbuffini.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brian_buffini Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brianbuffini Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianbuffini Theme Music:  “The Cliffs of Moher” by Brogue Wave   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.