The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning Anxiety

This episode traces a familiar circle, pun intended! Nancy explores the idea of "spiraling" through a personal story about living the same lessons about high functioning anxiety over and over again. Then, she talks to movement educator and expert on the mind body connection, Jenn Pilotti, about ways to combat anxiety by using your brain to tune into bodily sensations. Jenn shares some movement exercises, tips and tricks for calming the nervous system through movement. At the end of the episode Nancy puts what she learned from Jenn to the test, by taking a walk through a labyrinth. Listen to the full episode to hear:- How to look at the so-called "anxiety spiral" in a new light.- How to use movement to calm anxiety.- Tips and tricks for tapping into the sensations of the body.- Resources and advice from Jenn Pilotti.  Learn more about Jenn:- Go to jennpilotti.com  Learn more about Nancy:Coach in Your PocketThe Happier Approach BookVisit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

In this episode, we tackle a subject that Nancy has VERY strong opinions about. Gratitude. People with High Functioning Anxiety tend to  use the idea of gratitude as a way to wipe away the pains and sorrows of life. But that isn't very effective and can end up making us feel worse. Nancy talks to journalist and author Rob Walker about how we can use the art of noticing the everyday as a way to tap into a deeper sense of gratitude for the world around us. Rob shares some tips, prompts, and suggestions for using simple attention as an alternative to the stale notion of gratitude. Listen to the end for some excellent dog panting sounds! Listen to the full episode to hear:- How to hold on to our power of attention in everyday life.- How to tap into and notice the world around us to create an authentic sense of gratitude.- Tips, prompts and tricks for sparking creativity through attention.- Resources and advice from Rob WalkerVisit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

In this episode, we learn all about feelings. How they show up in our brains and in our bodies, and how they can affect the way we interact with the world around us. With High Functioning Anxiety the LAST thing we want to do is acknowledge what we are feeling. Nancy tells us about trying to conquer her Monger during a stressful time, and how feeling her emotions in her body and naming them, helped her to feel better in the moment. We also hear from science journalist and health advocate Donna Jackson Nakazawa who explains to us from a scientific perspective what a feeling actually is, and how it affects our bodies over the course of our lives. She gives us some tips for understanding our emotions and how our health can be affected by trauma. Listen to the full episode to hear:- How feelings affect our physical and mental health.- How a feeling is biologically created.- How trauma affects our emotional and physical state.- Resources and advice from Donna Jackson Nakazawa.Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

In this episode, we'll learn about the final character in the Happier Approach cast-- the wise, self-loyal, and sometimes elusive, Biggest Fan. The Biggest Fan always is the key to quieting High Functioning Anxiety. She has your back, but that doesn't mean that listening to her is easy. Nancy shares her experience of learning to tap into the voice of the Biggest Fan through the encouragement of her husband Doug. Then, she speaks with actor Victor Warren, who embodies what it means to listen to that self-loyal voice in order to make your dreams come true. Finally, Nancy shares a conversation between herself and her husband Doug, where they talk about the true meaning of the Biggest Fan. Listen to the full episode to hear:- All about The Biggest Fan- Tips for tapping into the self-loyal voice of the Biggest Fan.- Insight from actor Victor Warren.Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

In this episode, we get close and personal with another central character in the Happier Approach: the overindulgent BFF. The BFF has good intentions-- she's often jumping in to argue with the Monger when that mean voice of self-criticism gets too loud. But the BFF can push us over the line from self-care to self-indulgence very quickly.  High Functioning Anxiety lives in the arguing between the Monger and the BFF. Nancy walks us through a typical tug-of-war between her Monger and BFF, and tells us how she's able to quiet those voices.Nancy also speaks to writer and mental health advocate Jill Stark, author of three books about mental health. Jill tells us about her experience giving up alcohol, and how practicing radical honesty around that tough decision totally kick-started her career as an author. She also shares some tips that she's picked up from her own experiences dealing with her inner critic. Listen to the full episode to hear:All about The BFF.Tips for recognizing the BFF voice and distinguishing between self-care and self-indulgence.Resources and advice from Jill Stark.For more information about Jill and her work:Go to https://jillstark.com.au/ Check out Jill's Twitter account @jillastarkFollow Jill on Instagram @jillstark_Order Jill's books When You're Not OK, Happy Never After, and High Sobriety through her website: https://jillstark.com.au/books/Learn more about Nancy:Coach in Your PocketThe Happier Approach BookLive Happier WebsiteVisit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

In this episode, we take a trip into Nancy's brain and learn all about her inner self-critique. The voice that tells her every day that all the things she's doing just aren't good enough. Nancy calls that voice The Monger.The Monger is at the root of why Nancy started on her quest to quiet her High Functioning Anxiety and write the Happier Approach. She realized that her Monger's voice is particularly loud. Nancy wonders: do other people, people who really seem to have it together, have loud Mongers too? To answer that question Nancy speaks with Kati Morton, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, and YouTube creator. Kati tells us about her own struggles with the inner critic and gives us some tips on how to quiet that screechy Monger voice. Listen to the full episode to hear:All about The MongerTips for recognizing the Monger's voice and quieting her.Resources and advice from Kati Morton.For more information about Kati and her work:Go to katimorton.com.Check out Kati's YouTube channelPre-order Kati's forthcoming book Traumatized out September 7, 2021: Follow Kati on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and TwitterLearn more about Nancy:Coach in Your PocketThe Happier Approach BookLive Happier WebsiteVisit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

In this episode, the first of our new season, we go back to the beginning to learn how The Happier Approach all started. This is a great episode to listen to if you're just learning about the podcast. If you're a longtime listener, you'll get the in-depth story of how Nancy started her journey toward quieting her High Functioning Anxiety with self-loyalty, catalyzed by a public talk at a wine shop, as well as a personal tragedy. You'll hear from all the major characters in Nancy's life, her husband Doug, her best friend Mary, her mom Jane, and even her dad Ted. Each of them remembers, along with Nancy, how she came to recognize her Monger and her BFF, and rally her Biggest Fan to start her journey toward self-loyalty. Listen to the full episode to hear:The origins of The Happier Approach.A primer on the major characters of The Happier Approach: the Monger, the BFF, and the Biggest Fan.The story of the beginning of Nancy's personal journey toward self-loyalty. Learn more about Nancy:Coach in Your PocketThe Happier Approach BookLive Happier Website Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Trailer for the new season of the Happier Approach. Starts May 7th!Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

The beginning of any new year often hyperactivates our “Shoulds.” I should lose weight.I should start meditating more.I should be kinder to myself.I should put myself out there more.I should, I should, I should.I am no stranger to the Shoulds that my Monger promotes every new year. Like clockwork, those shoulds and New Year, New Me attitudes drift away. My Monger always has a heyday with this—convincing me that I was failing.But the concept of self-loyalty—the notion that true change comes only when we’re loyal to ourselves first—is what changed the game for me… for the better.In part one of this series on self-loyalty, I talked with my friend and podcast producer, Sean McMullin. We defined self-loyalty and how to bring self-loyalty to the center of your life as you make plans for change in the new year. If you haven’t listened to part one yet, I recommend that you do before jumping into this one.Today, I’m continuing my conversation with Sean, going deeper into change, resolutions, and plans for the new year.Listen to the full episode to hear:How 2020 and COVID changed our approach to resolutionsHow our image of ourselves, our identities, and our stories can keep us from seeing possibilitiesUpcoming changes for the Happier Approach PodcastLearn more about Sean McMullin:Yellow House MediaLearn more about Nancy:Coach in Your PocketThe Happier Approach BookLive Happier WebsiteResources mentioned in this episodeHeadspace Meditation App The Real Point of Meditating by Mike Sturm on MediumThe Science of Mindfulness | Dr. Ron Siegel | Talks at GoogleThe Art of Noticing by Rob Walker--The Happier Approach BookI’ve been working with women like you living with hidden anxiety every day for over 20 years as a coach and counselor.I wrote The Happier Approach to give you a framework for dealing with your anxiety and start living happier.The Happier Approach will help you understand the voices in your head and what to do with them. It’s not another woo-woo self-help book that asks you to think positively and live your best life. It’s a practical guidebook for getting out of survival mode and finding a genuinely happy and productive life.Know someone who has High Functioning Anxiety and a VERY LOUD Monger, the Happier Approach makes a great gift.Find The Happier Approach on  Amazon,  Audible, or  Barnes & Noble!And click here to learn more about how you can work with me through on-demand coaVisit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

For years, the month of December was my month of debauchery. My BFF (the voice of false self-compassion) ran the show. After months of being told what I “should” do by my Monger in December, I could throw all the rules out the window.  December was the one month out of the year that I gave myself permission to not listen to the shaming voice of the Monger: I gave myself the free pass of December because I knew come January, my Monger would drop the hammer and criticize me into submission. I believed, on January 1st (well, 2nd really because on the 1st, I was still recovering from all the December merriment), I would magically become a new person. Someone who loved vegetables and hated sugar, desired to work out every day, easily abstained from drinking, and uber-productive. I am sure you could guess how that went. Long story short, come mid-January, my Monger had a field day with all the ways I was failing. This all-or-nothing thinking ran my life for years---decades really. But something changed, thanks to the practice of self-loyalty.  December isn’t a magical month of no consequences anymore. Instead, I have days where I overeat sugar and drink too much caffeine and days where I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. And my worthiness isn’t linked to any of it. Whether I eat five sugar cookies or five carrots, I am still me: broken, imperfect, smart, funny, overly-sensitive, loyal Nancy Jane Smith.  But the idea of change and resolutions still intrigues me. So on this episode, I am bringing back my podcast producer Sean McMullin. You might remember him from episode 155 and episode 161 where we discussed meditation and mindfulness. This is part one of this conversation and I’m so excited for you to hear it. Part two will be released next week! Listen to the full episode to hear: The definition of Self-Loyalty How self-loyalty works with the idea of change and resolutions Sean’s plans for the new year--combining a word of the year with quarterly themes How to hold your resolutions loosely AND actually make change Learn more about Sean McMullin: Yellow House Media Learn more about Nancy: Coach in Your Pocket The Happier Approach Book Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com