The Verywell Mind Podcast

We often avoid calling our friends and relatives simply because we don’t have time. You might think your aunt is impossible to get off the phone with, or you might think your friend can’t possibly hang up until she’s given you every detail of her life over the past month.But there’s evidence that a quick phone call is not only possible but it might also be the key to happiness.Rather than connect for an hour a couple of times per year, your psychological well-being might be better served by more frequent, shorter calls.In fact, 8 minutes seems to be the sweet spot. It’s enough time to connect and to boost your mood.So in this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I explain the research study that discovered the 8-minute phone call, how to actually get off the phone fast, and why it’s so good for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bessel van der Kolk, MD, is a clinician, researcher, and professor who is best known for his work on post-traumatic stress disorder. He’s the medical director at the Trauma Center in Boston. He’s also a professor of psychiatry at Boston University School of Medicine and director of the National Complex Trauma Treatment Network.He’s the author of the wildly popular book The Body Keeps the Score. In it, he describes the link between the brain, mind, and body, and the treatment strategies that can help people heal from trauma.Some of the things he talks about today are how things like yoga, community theater, and hypnosis have the power to heal, why traumatic memories have such an impact on the brain and the body, and why talking to your best friend could be the most powerful way to heal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A town in Scotland made its street lights blue, and the crime rate decreased. Casinos keep people gambling at their tables longer by making the tabletops red. Those are just a couple of fascinating examples of how color affects behavior.The colors around you can have a bigger impact on you than you might think. Colors evoke emotions. And they can affect your choices and your performance. Companies know this, so they use color to their advantage. Everything from logos to website colors is created to cause you to feel a certain way. The color of the walls in a store or a restaurant is often based on what the owner wants you to feel. Do they want you to slow down and relax so you’ll stick around and spend more money? Or do they want to energize you so you’ll make impulse purchases?Learning a bit about color psychology might help you better understand how companies try to use your emotions to their advantage. You can also use your knowledge of color psychology to create an environment that will help you be your best when you’re working, when you’re eating, or when you’re relaxing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Amir Levine is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry in the Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at Columbia University. He’s a leading researcher on the molecular processes that are unique to the developing brain. His research has uncovered findings that may lead to changes in the way mood disorders and addictions are treated in both adolescents and adults. He’s also the co-author of a popular book called Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love. In it, he describes how understanding our attachments in adulthood can improve our relationships. Some of the things he talks about today are the three different adult attachment styles, how to recognize your attachment style and your partner's, and how you can change your attachment style. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At first glance, you might wonder why on earth anyone would be afraid to be happy. But if you think about it a little longer, you might recognize a few times in your life when you experienced an aversion to happiness.Perhaps you won an award, and then you felt so much pressure to live up to the achievement that you were afraid to let yourself really enjoy your success.Or maybe something really good happened, and you were so afraid that those happy feelings weren’t going to last that you didn’t let yourself feel happy for even a minute because you were afraid that things would come crashing down. You might have also found yourself in a tough spot in life — like, maybe you were grieving the loss of a loved one or you were facing some hard economic times — and you felt guilty laughing or having fun. It’s common to think you can allow yourself to be happy during sad times.Those are just a few of the reasons why it’s hard to allow ourselves to be happy sometimes. But just as it’s harmful to avoid an uncomfortable emotion like anxiety, an aversion to happiness can take a toll on your well-being and your life too.On this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I share what the research says about why people are afraid of being happy, the consequences it can have on your life, and what you can do about it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Elaine Fox is a cognitive psychologist and the head of the School of Psychology at the University of Adelaide, Australia. She’s a leading mental health researcher who combines genetics, psychology, and neuroscience in her work. She runs the Oxford Elite Performance, a consulting group that brings cutting-edge science and psychology to those at the highest levels of sport, business, and the military.Her newest book, Switch Craft, focuses on the benefits of mental agility. Just like we need a variety of tools in the toolbox we keep for our homes, we need a variety of tools to solve problems, manage uncomfortable emotions, and deal with challenges. Some of the things Dr. Fox talks about today are why we sometimes get stuck in rigid patterns, the strategies we can use to increase the number of tools we have in our toolkits, and the best ways to increase our psychological flexibility. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There were a lot of people on social media this year discouraging others from setting a New Year resolution. Opting out of a resolution isn’t necessarily a bad idea.By mid-January, most people consider their resolutions failed. That means their intentions to hit the gym, wake up earlier, or save more money have already fallen by the wayside. So if your plan to create change this year isn't working out, you're not alone but don't give up.Here are some strategies that can help you get back on track so you can make this year amazing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Reggie Walker spent seven years in the NFL playing for the Cardinals, the Chargers, and the Broncos before deciding to walk away from the game.Reggie was sexually, emotionally, and physically abused during childhood — something he tried to hide for much of his life. And for a while, football became a socially appropriate way for him to mask his anger because he could be aggressive on the field. He decided to get help to heal from the trauma he endured by talking to a therapist. But weekly therapy wasn’t enough, so he checked himself into a 30-day inpatient treatment program.He’s since pursued a degree in counseling so he can help other people heal from their pain. He started a program for athletes to help them manage their mental health, and he wrote a book called The Game Within the Game.Some of the things Reggie talks about are how he found the courage to get help, how he recognized that therapy wasn't going to be helpful enough, and the steps he is now taking to manage his mental health. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever spent two hours dreading the fact you were going to see someone for an hour? If so, you just gave that person two extra hours of your life.Have you ever blamed someone for ruining your day or putting you in a bad mood? If so, you gave that person power over your emotions.There are many ways in which we give negative people too much of our time, energy, and mental real estate. And the truth is, we all let negative people take a toll on us sometimes. And if we’re not careful, we might waste a lot of time and energy thinking about them or complaining about them. Or, we might let a negative person influence our behavior in an unhealthy way.When you realize that you’re doing it, however, you can create positive change. You can set limits on how much of an impact you’re going to let a negative person have over our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Richie Stephens is an Irish gangster-turned-actor who lives in Los Angeles. He frequently plays villains in TV and movies, including Days of Our Lives, Criminal Minds, MacGyver, and Blue Bloods.He’s also the author of The Gangster’s Guide to Sobriety where he shares how 12-step groups helped him get into recovery after decades of drug and alcohol abuse.Some of the things he talks about today are what made him decide to get into recovery, the lies he had to stop believing, how he learned to manage his cravings, and what he did when he didn't agree with everything in the 12-step meetings he attended. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices