Care and Feeding | Slate's parenting show

On this episode: Elizabeth, Zak, and Dan answer a question from a dad who is so frustrated with trying to get his squirming, shrieking kids in their car seats that sometimes… the kids win and he drives them unbuckled. Now he’s wondering if he should continue the car seat battle or if there’s a happy medium where the kids are safe and he’s calm enough to pilot the car. Then on Slate Plus, they discuss the latest automated baby gear: strollers! If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Mom and Dad are Fighting. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to help support our work.Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this bonus episode from our friends at Slate's How To! podcast: College application season is approaching fast—too fast—for 16-yr old Maya and her mother, Melissa. The problem? Maya has no idea where to go or what to study. It doesn’t help that there are thousands of schools to choose from, and little transparency about their true cost. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ron Lieber, New York Times money columnist and author of The Price You Pay for College. He shows Maya how to narrow down the list of potential colleges by asking insightful questions of the schools and, ultimately, yourself. Then he talks to Melissa about how to pay for it without harming the rest of the family’s finances. Ron’s questions for parents:  What do you remember your parent or parents saying to you the first time they talked about what college would cost and what, if anything, they would pay? Or if there was silence around the topic of paying for college, what did it speak? How much was your parent or your parents willing to pay for your education? How did you feel about that?  If your parents paid your way, is it possible that you should not feel obligated to do the same, given how much the world has changed? And if your parents paid nothing, have you asked yourself whether 15 years of extreme thrift starting now (or going deep into debt 15 years from now to pay for your child’s first-choice college) may not erase whatever pain lingers from that period long ago -- or may create new conflict with your spouse and kids? How much might you be willing to borrow -- or delay repayment of your own student loans? How long are you willing to delay retirement to meet this goal? If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Raise a Future College Athlete.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.  If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Zak, Elizabeth, and Jamilah answer a question about a five year old who is begging her parents to buy her a makeup kit. The letter writer is reluctant as it feels like it’s too early to start caring about beauty standards but… she also doesn’t want to curb her child’s creativity. Then on Slate Plus, Zak, Elizabeth, and Jamilah discuss the high-five debate started by an op-ed in the Omaha World-Herald. Original piece: Living With Children: You shouldn't high-five a child by John Rosemond. Also discussed: Actually, High-Fiving Kids is Totally Fine by Melinda Wenner Moyer. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Mom and Dad are Fighting. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to help support our work.Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. Podcast produced by Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola and Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Carrie James and Emily Weinstein, principal investigators at Harvard’s Project Zero, join to discuss their book, Behind Their Screens: What Teens Are Facing (and Adults Are Missing). They’ve been researching teens and screens for over a decade and not only did they collect insights from 3,500 teens, they worked “side-by-side with teens every step of the way.” They learned that teens still want adults’ help with navigating tech and social media—they just need the conversations and support to be a lot more nuanced. Recommendations: Jamilah recommends This Is Major: Notes on Diana Ross, Dark Girls, and Being Dope by Shayla Lawson. Zak recommends Björk: Mother, Daughter, Force of Nature by Jazz MonroeJoin us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. Podcast produced by Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola and Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Jamilah and Zak answer a question from a Marine whose son is a freshman at a school for Junior ROTC. The teen loves a lot of aspects of JROTC but loathes uniform day. It causes him anxiety and he’s mentioned quitting the school over the uniform. But most concerningly, the son has mentioned to his parent that he thinks about “unaliving” himself. As a content warning, we do talk about suicide ideation in this episode. If you or anyone you know is in crisis, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing 988 or visiting 988lifeline.org. Then on Slate Plus—per request, Jamilah and Zak will be updating everyone on their cool projects like Jamilah’s book and Zak’s contribution to the We exChange gallery. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Mom and Dad are Fighting. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to help support our work.Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. Podcast produced by Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola and Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Elizabeth and Jamilah are joined by KC Davis. KC is author of the book How To Keep House While Drowning, host of the podcast Struggle Care, and is well known for her TikTok content. KC shares how to divorce yourself from any shame and pressure you feel about the state of your house. She breaks down the differences between tidy, organized, and clean. Finally, she explains how to make chores not just equal but equitable.Recommendations: Jamilah recommends The Woman KingKC recommends Maintenance PhaseElizabeth recommends Science ComicsBonus recommendation: You Don’t Have to Fold Your Laundry by Rebecca Onion. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Mom and Dad are Fighting. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to help support our work.Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Elizabeth and Jamilah are joined by KC Davis. KC is author of the book How To Keep House While Drowning, host of the podcast Struggle Care, and is well known for her TikTok content. They advise a listener who thinks her niece may be neurodivergent and is specifically showing signs of autism spectrum disorder. The letter writer doesn’t think her brother and sister-in-law have noticed yet and she wants to inform them to make sure her niece is being supported. But she has no idea how to start the conversation. Then on Slate Plus, KC, Jamilah, and Elizabeth share their favorite activities to participate in with their kids. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Mom and Dad are Fighting. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to help support our work.Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. Podcast produced by Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola and Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lisa Lewis, journalist, and author of The Sleep Deprived Teen joins the show to unpack the myths surrounding teen sleep. Lisa explains why teens actually need more sleep (even if they’re staying up super late), how to get schools to start later, and why you and your teen should still have a wind-down bedtime routine. Recommendations: Jamilah recommends Rap Sh!t, a comedy series created by Issa Rae.Zak recommends a narrative podcast series called Mother Country Radicals. Elizabeth recommends cute, fun, and nerdy T-shirts from TeaTurtleJoin us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. Podcast produced by Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola and Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth advise a parent who wants to intervene but doesn’t want to break her daughter’s trust. Her middle schooler told her that her friend, who is a frequent visitor to their house, was trying to pressure her into smoking weed with him. Our letter writer isn’t super familiar with the kid’s family. Should she let them know about the smoking? Should she tell her daughter before intervening? Should she talk to the kid herself? Then on Slate Plus, Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth relive the funniest places they’ve been lost and the scary moments where they left their own kids behind. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Mom and Dad are Fighting. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to help support our workJoin us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Jamilah, Zak, and Elizabeth answer a question about a little boy who was super excited to start team sports. However, he has been really hard on himself and has slipped into some negative self-talk, including saying that he’s “the worst” and “will never get better.” They have some advice for making sure the kid enjoys his season, if he wants to continue. Recommendations: Zak recommends Everything Naomi Loved by Katie Yamasaki and Ian Lendler. Elizabeth recommends How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis. Jamilah recommends Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Mom and Dad are Fighting. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to help support our work.Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. Podcast produced by Kristie Taiwo-Makanjuola and Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices