Love in Action

This week’s guest on the Love In Action podcast is Richard Boyatzis, a renowned expert on emotional intelligence and bestselling author. Richard and his colleagues at Case Western University have recently released a new book entitled Helping People Change, which reveals their findings about a more effective approach to helping people learn and change behaviors.The big idea in the book is that we want to help others learn or change, but how we go about it causes them to close down to new ideas, which is the opposite of what we’re aiming for. The way to help people open up to change is to inspire them into the psychophysiological state he calls the Positive Emotional Attractor (PEA). Richard advocates the Coaching With Compassion approach. [04:55] Marcel asks why we tend to try to fix people or coach for compliance. Richard lists both negative and positive reasons why we tend to do this. One negative reason is if we’re in a position of authority, we may think we know what other people should do and we try to make them do it. A positive reason is that we may really care for the person. [06:58]Coaching with compassion is a way of approaching someone that helps to stimulate a  psychological state of mood that focuses on more positive than negative. It allows you to ameliorate the ravages of stress and, being more in the empathic network of your brain, makes you open to new ideas and people. This state can be invoked through two main approaches:asking a person about their dreams, which makes them feel hopeful;building and maintaining more caring relationships with other people which stimulates compassion and gratitude. [12:08]The PEA state is when a person is open to new ideas, people and emotion. Before any learning or change can happen, you need to be in this state because it helps to create the Tipping Point. You want to go into this state periodically every day to tone down the stresses of life. [16:05] Richard says that it's the responsibility of every leader or manager to understand the dreams of the people who report to them. Most organizations are sub-optimizing their human capital. If you activate your human capital by understanding and inspiring them, they will make magic for your organization. [18:22]Marcel asks Richard to unpack an interesting story from his book about diabetic patients. Richard describes how a shared vision of their long-term future with their physicians, increased patients’ treatment adherence. This research can be translated into the workplace, he agrees. [25:25]No organization in the world exists to make money, Richard says. They exist to serve people. Making money is how to measure how effectively you're doing that. [33:15]Instead of focusing on the task, focus on engaging the person doing the task. [36:15]You can create a sustainable culture of caring in your organization by helping your people to form coaching groups where they care for and rely on each other. [ 37:18]Richard shares how our minds and bodies react in a fear-based environment versus a loving one. [38:30]Marcel asks the question "Why do people still lead through fear?" Richard shares his thoughts on narcissism and it's impacts. [43:50]Resourcesrichard.boyatzis@case.eduBook: Helping People ChangeSend Marcel a text message!

As you seek to rise to the next level — whether that means a new job, a challenging promotion, an entrepreneurial venture, or a whole new direction — it’s often the case that the skills that got you here won’t necessarily get you where you want to go. In fact, the very behaviors that served you well in the past may be in your way. Sally Helgesen has been cited in Forbes as the world’s premier expert on women’s leadership. She is a best-selling author, speaker and leadership coach and has been ranked among the world’s top 20 leadership thinkers by Global Gurus. She joins Marcel Schwantes to talk about some of the most common habits that undermine women in their quest to become more successful, and what she has found gets in the way of women reaching their fullest potential. Sally has had the same twofold mission for over 30 years: to help present and aspiring women leaders to recognize, articulate, and act on their greatest strengths; and to help organizations develop more inclusive cultures where women can thrive and realize their best talent. [4:15]Marshall Goldsmith’s book, What Got You Here Won't Get You There, identified the behaviors most likely to get in the way of successful people. Sally was very influenced by the book, but noticed that some of the behaviors that Marshall focused on were distinctive to his male CEO coaching base. She suggested that they collaborate on a book with the same theme but adapted to identifying the behaviors and habits most likely to get in the way of successful women. The resulting book, How Women Rise, seems to resonate in a deeply personal way with women leaders around the world. [5:07]Sally describes two behaviors that hold women back in their careers. She states, By proving that you're the best for the job you have, you are proving that you are perfect for the job you have. You need to be competent at your present job, while also keeping your eye on where you want to go. [7:40]There is an inverse correlation between competence and confidence, according to Argentinian sociologist Dr. Tomas Chamorro, guest on Episode 12 of this podcast. People tend to think that men who are extremely confident are competent which is often not true. On the other hand, women tend to lack confidence when they are in fact very competent. [13:00]People change their minds when they change their behavior and get different results. Sally has been advocating for leaders to demonstrate inclusive behaviors because this is how to create a more inclusive culture. [16:48]Leaders become better by focusing on their strengths, and assessing their vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Some of the greatest strengths of successful women leaders are:putting themselves in the center of things;valuing relationships and attending to building the details of relationships;communicating across levels rather than always up and down; bringing information from their personal lives into the work lives;understanding the value of a diverse workforce. [22:53] More women need to position themselves as visionaries. This will help increase the number of women in the C-Suite. [26:06]People in a knowledge economy need to be engaged in order to produce, and fear does not engage. [33:22] The people most successful in making long-term positive change in their lives are those who engage others. Don't try to do it alone. [37:17]Resources SallyHelgesen.comSally on LinkedInContribute your story of love and fear Send Marcel a text message!

Dr. Carol Grannis is the Chief Self-Esteem Officer for Self Esteem Brands, the parent company of the Anytime Fitness franchise system which is the fastest-growing franchise in the country. She has 28 years of experience in HR, Employee Engagement, and Training and Development. She is also a speaker, lecturer and facilitator for groups all over the world. She chats with host Marcel Schwantes about vulnerability in this week's show.Vulnerability is self-disclosure. It is being courageous about disclosing a mistake, something personal about yourself that's hard, or an emotion. There is a palpable, resonant feeling among people in the room when leaders are vulnerable. [5:10]Trust is built when a leader shares a mistake or something personal. Another outcome is that people see you as human. [6:33]You can be too vulnerable. Carol says that when you share your mistakes without also sharing a solution and what you learned from your mistakes, your team may doubt your capability as a leader. The pivot point is to share your mistake and then say, “here's what I've learned about it and this is what I'm going to do differently.” [8:48]Self-disclosure can be planned or unplanned. Most leaders plan to share a story about their vulnerability as a trust-building strategy. They find that when they share, people are in the moment, and there is a sense of relief and connection. [10:40]Our culture teaches us to be tough and competitive. This is why it's so hard for people to be vulnerable, Carol says. We also fear how we would be perceived as a leader if we display vulnerability.  [15:09]It is a myth that self-disclosure comes easier for women than for men. Carol finds that when asked intentional questions, men show up just as much as women do. [17:22] Marcel asks why people still lead with the iron fist instead of love and care? Carol responds that it is because leaders are rewarded for financial or sales outcomes. Iron fist leadership may get you short-term results but will eventually burn you out. [19:20]Carol shares her stories of when she felt love and fear at work. [24:52] It is important for leaders to show love by acknowledging, caring about and understanding their employees. It is just as important for leaders to show love to themselves. [30:28]Carol challenges listeners to do the Personal Histories Exercise at their next team meeting. Leaders should go first and practice vulnerability. She promises that the tenor, resonance, and relationship of your team will change. [32:20]ResourcesCarol’s Twitter: @CarolGrannisCarol’s Instagram: @carol.grannisEmail: carol.grannis@sebrands.comContribute your story of love and fearSend Marcel a text message!

Marcel Schwantes chats with Dr. Melissa Hughes about how the brain works and how to make it work better. Dr. Hughes, a neuroscience expert, is the author of Happy Hour With Einstein, as well as a keynote speaker and thought leader. She shares practical applications of neuroscience to help leaders learn habits that lead to positive work cultures of belonging, psychological safety and gratitude.Learning is not confined to the classroom. Everyone wants to know how to make their brain work better. What differentiates one company from the other is the ability to learn together. [4:00]Companies implement many initiatives to increase employee engagement. However, research shows that the biggest reward comes when people feel valued and respected. We all want to know that what we do matters. [5:40]Psychological safety is very important: employees need to feel safe enough to take risks, and be authentic and vulnerable without fear of negative consequences. In psychologically safe teams, members feel respected and accepted. These teams perform better. [6:26]We all need to feel a sense of belonging at work. When we do, our brain generates neurotransmitters to facilitate activity in the prefrontal cortex. When we feel that we don't fit in, our brain releases stress chemicals to activate the fear-threat center. Belonging is the foundation for culture and culture is the foundation for engagement. The leader’s job, therefore, is to make people feel connected, happy and satisfied. [11:00]Instead of asking how to increase engagement, leaders should ask how to decrease cortisol and increase dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin, the good neurotransmitters that make people feel connected and creative. [14:00]Melissa explains how oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine affects our emotions. She shares simple ways how leaders can create experiences for their employees that generate these feel-good brain chemicals. [16:06]Gratitude is a natural antidepressant. It elevates our mood, lowers blood pressure and heart rate, and gives us a greater sense of belonging. When we practice gratitude we release dopamine and serotonin which travels to the bliss center of our brain. The more these neural pathways are stimulated, the stronger and more automatic they become. [28:49]Increasing productivity does not start with how to do the work. It starts by treating people with the same care and compassion as those we love. When we do this, we create a better work environment with higher productivity because everyone is invested emotionally in what they are doing. [40:20]When we learn how to trigger positive emotions we can reach our highest potential and find purpose, success and satisfaction. [42:35]ResourcesMelissaHughes.rocksSend Marcel a text message!

Marcel Schwantes chats with Harold MacDowell, an icon in the servant-leadership movement. Harold is the CEO of TD Industries, a $631M company with over 2600 employees, called partners in the company. TD Industries has made the Fortune Magazine Best Companies to Work For list for 17 consecutive years under Harold’s leadership. Marcel and Harold discuss the two sides of servant-leadership, and its personal as well as business impact.Servant-leadership stems from a genuine desire to help others grow. It is placing the growth of other people above your own personal growth. Helping others grow creates more opportunities for the servant-leader. [3:41]Servant-leadership is a two-sided coin. Many people struggle to reconcile the two ideas because servant is equated with being soft, while leader connotes being tough and sometimes even mean. Unless they have had a role model, leaders find it hard to be comfortable with being transparent, showing vulnerability, and asking others to do the same. However, a servant leader must be willing to listen and empathize, while at the same time setting clear expectations and holding others accountable. [ 5:35]The most important questions leaders should ask employees are, Are you getting regular feedback from your supervisor? Are they telling you what they appreciate, but also what you need to do to be more effective? [7:56]Haroldemphasizes that the only thing TD has to sell is the gifts and talents of its people. They use an upside-down organizational chart to help them remember that the most important people inside TD are the frontline partners, the skilled tradespeople who do the most difficult jobs for the company every day. Without them, Harold says, he doesn't have a job. [10:00]Harold explains why TD has not gone public. [12:23]Marcel quotes Ken Blanchard: “ Servant-leadership is love in action.”  Love is manifested through growing your people, developing them, respecting them, and providing for their needs. Fear, on the other hand, is the barrier that causes people not to feel valued or give their best effort. Harold adds that the secret to improving the work environment is to drive out fear. When we get fear out of the environment and get everyone to open up and share their best ideas, we can all find the answers together. [14:10]Our most precious resource is our time. Harold divides his week into 5 appointment buckets, and details what those buckets are. [16:18] Our political leaders can benefit from using Robert Greenleaf’s best test. We can begin to resolve our political differences by asking these questions from the test:Do those served grow as persons?Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, and more likely themselves to become servants? Servant-leadership has enormous personal impact and a ripple effect on families and the community. It positively impacts future generations. On the business side, Harold finds that when we grow great servant-leaders, we grow people faster, we grow our business faster and we see great returns for our stockholders. [20:06]Resources TD Industries harold.macdowell@tdindustries.comSend Marcel a text message!

Marcel Schwantes chats with coach and author Jerry Colonna about his new book, Reboot. They discuss Jerry’s concept of Radical Self-Inquiry and how shame and fear keep us from being happy and fulfilled at work and in life.Leadership represents the opportunity to complete the process of becoming the adult you are born to be. Leaders who do this, lead better and create space for those they lead to complete their own growth process. [4:36] We learn best through stories, examples and modeling rather than being told what to do. Jerry shares his own story of how he hit emotional rock-bottom in 2002 and how he reinvented his life thereafter. [5:40]Radical Self-Inquiry is a process in which we strip away all delusions, masks and play-acting, with compassion. It is radical because we tend to go along with the masks. Jerry admonishes us to stop! Let's be human beings together. The first step is to acknowledge where we are and how we truly feel. Also, be gentle with yourself. [10:23]Dropping the mask is crucial in leadership. Jerry asks, how can you build trust in a company if those who have power are not telling the truth? When facts are spoken and the feelings implied do not match, dissonance emerges and trust is eroded. The collective delusions organizations operate under are rooted in the fact that those who hold power are scared to confront themselves with the basic truth that they are, like the rest of us, just human beings. [22:50]Many leaders experience a Reboot awakening, usually after some devastation or loss, when the facade of their lives start to crack and fall apart. This is a crucible moment where who they are as a person emerges. Jerry shares the story of Chad Dickerson, former CEO of Etsy, whose crucible moment helped him emerge stronger and more true to himself than he was before. [29:50]Shame is one of the most insidious forces that gets us to be complicit and compliant. As leaders we think we are supposed to have all the answers all the time. When we fall short of this mythical standard, we feel shame, which threatens our love, safety and belonging. The shame drives a lot of the mask and story-making that passes for leadership. [34:13] Do we believe, as Machiavelli did, that it is better to be feared than to be loved? Or, like Plato, do we believe in wise leadership, because humans are basically good? If we believe that people are basically good, then our job as a leader is to bring out the best in them. Fear does not do that. [38:15]The polarization that exists in our society today concerns Jerry. He gives advice about how to bridge the divide between ‘Them’ and ‘Us’. There is no ‘Them’: there is only the ‘Us’ who believe this, and the ‘Us’ who believe that. When we understand that we are all broken humans who just want to feel love, safety and belonging, we can bridge the divide in our organizations and in our society. [41:39]Resources Reboot Work with JerrySend Marcel a text message!

Today, Marcel Schwantes talks to Kristen Hadeed, founder of Student Maid, a cleaning company that has employed thousands of students all around the world. This is a challenging industry, but Kristen blew industry standards out of the water with her innovative ideas, company culture and by focusing on love. Marcel and Kristen talk about some of the challenges of running a company, and what Kristen does to keep positive and motivated throughout the day. They recommend a book and strategy that can help you transform your feelings about your life. [02:50]We don’t always end up where we think we’re going to! Kristen talks about her company, Student Maid, how she came up with the idea, and what role a pair of jeans played in building her business empire. [04:30]If you’ve run a business, you’ve experienced staff turnover - but Kristen had to deal with 45 out of a team of 60 walking out on no notice. She talks about what she didn’t know going into her business, and how she became obsessed with becoming a leader people wanted to follow. She and Marcel talk about what leadership is, and how to let go of the ‘standard’ definition. [7:30]In a world where retention is the gold standard, Kristen supports her people leaving to do other things. She actively shares her knowledge with people, and formally trains her employees on the kinds of skills they’ll need throughout their careers. [12:25]Cleaning is NOT an easy (or always pleasant) job, but Kristen’s team is motivated to do it. Marcel wonders about the different generations she works with, and she talks about her outlook on what makes people tick - regardless of when they were born. [16:30]Marcel notes that vulnerability is a word that scares a lot of leaders. Kristen shares what it means to her, and the different ways you can practice it to connect with your people. Often, that means making mistakes and Kristen talks about her most epic screw up, and what she learned because of it. [21:00]Compassion is being considered more and more important in professional relationships. Marcel and Kristen talk about what compassion looks like in the workplace, and how to navigate situations where being compassionate isn’t the same as being nice. Marcel notes that compassion can take the form of tough love. [26:00]As part of the research Marcel is conducting, he and Kristen talk about fear and love in leadership. They get into what success means, being afraid at work, the impacts of experiencing fear and difficulties, and those wonderful times when you get to feel love at work. At the end of the day, Kristen thinks that having a team you can trust and rely on makes a world of difference. [29:45]Kristen talks about one of the challenges many leaders experience - and all dread. Losing one of your top people always hurts, and it can have effects similar to grieving. She also talks about a statistic that is tugging at her heart. [36:30]Marcel asks Kristen to talk about what she thinks will make a difference in people’s lives. She shares something she thinks is critical for every business owner, and other kinds of leaders should try to do. [38:00]ResourcesStudent Maid Permission to Screw UpKristenHadeed.com Send Marcel a text message!

What would be the outcome if we all had a more loving, safe and human workplace? Renée Smith is today's guest on the Love in Action Podcast and she is going to share with us the benefits of bringing more love into the workplace. Renée is the founder of A Human Workplace: Make Work More Human. She is a writer and speaker who lectures about the cost of fear and the benefits of love in the workplace. She is also the Director of Workplace Transformation at Results Washington in the Office of the Governor, where she applies these principles to make government more human.Renée talks about the origins of her human-centered philosophy of work. She believes that people need to feel safe and supported and that they belong so that they engage in the way we want them to at work. She was inspired by the words of Chris Lou, who stated that the most important job of a leader is to eliminate fear in the workplace. [05:48]Renée shares the five most common stories of fear in the workplace from her research. She concludes that fear is not a good management strategy. [11:25]Marcel asks Renée, why do leaders lead through fear? She answers that we are conditioned to be afraid of love. From our earliest age, we are trained to think that our humanity needs to be put away in social settings. It is ingrained in us that dominance is how leadership happens. However, we need to feel care and inclusion so that we can speak up and do our very best work. [16:12]Marcel shares his story about when he felt fear at work. He describes the physical and emotional implications of that stressful experience. Renée interjects that humans are resilient and that we draw meanings from these bad experiences: some people go on to become great leaders and others turn a corner and find more satisfying work. [20:10]Marcel shares his story about when he felt love at work. His boss was a servant-leader with a growth mindset. His goal was to make people around him better, so he made himself available and set clear expectations. He stretched Marcel to give him extra exposure but was right there alongside him. Marcel felt set up for success from day one. His performance was top-notch and he was willing to go all out for his boss. [25:00]Renée talks about the three most common stories of love in the workplace. She shares the words of one person who felt loved by her colleagues during a personal crisis. Renée says that the best thing about implementing love in the workplace is that it is simple and does not cost anything. [28:00]If we choose to lead with love and eliminate fear in the workplace, we must choose to show love even in the midst of mistakes and challenges. Renée talks about the responsibility model which is based on commitment. [38:10] Renée shares her thoughts about the role and importance of emotions in the human experience. [52:20]Resources Website (Share your love and fear story): A Human Workplace Email: renee@makeworkmorehuman.com  Send Marcel a text message!

Today Marcel Schwantes gets to talk to one of the legends of the Gallup Organization, Jim Harter to discuss Gallup’s new book: It’s the Manager.This was the largest global study in the future of work. Jim shares that the whole world is interested in and talking about where work is going, and what the new workforce is asking about. With this book, they aimed to really identify what it is that people are looking for.The Role of the ManagerManagers’ jobs are extremely complex, and they have much higher stress than the people they manage. They also tend to have less clear expectations than the people they manage. One of the main reasons people join (or leave!) companies is the availability (or lack thereof) of career development. Managers are in the best position to develop people, but that’s not often a clear instruction. Jim shares what managers can do - and how the priority is going to shift from delegation and review to a coaching model that takes into account the specific needs, talents, and interests of team members. The Building Blocks of CultureJim talks about how critical the executive team is, in terms of creating an organizational culture. It starts with the company's goals and becomes a process of determining what you’re aiming for, and how that compares to what you’re doing. It's what creates a reputation over time. Marcel mentions that people are less interested in climbing the corporate ladder - and Jim explains what that means. The opportunity for development and growth also has a huge impact on people’s perception of their pay. Setting clear expectations, and making growth personal to a specific employee makes a huge difference in employee satisfaction. Remote WorkforcesWhether you’re a remote or on-site worker, you have the same basic needs as an employee. Jim discusses how management can ensure remote team members connect to their colleagues on a personal level.The New Critical SkillsJim talks about the data they’ve gathered, which has resulted in 7 expectations or competencies that all employees need to have, all very important in a changing technological environment. People will come to a role with varying levels of ability in each of these - but can all be improved. Jim talks about what they are, and how people should prioritize improving them. Managers can take regular actions and have specific kinds of conversations to make sure their team members are getting the support and the feedback that they need. Building trust is number one. Patterns for EngagementCompanies with great engagement have 4 things in common. Jim tells us what they are, and how organizations make each of them their own. No matter how employee engagement happens, it needs to come from the top, and be consistently deployed throughout the company. Making sure managers are engaged is important as well! Managers need coaching, the way we expect them to coach. A lot of this requires a real focus on coaching managers and helping them to become coaches. Jim explains what that means, and how it can be executed, as well as the potential obstacles that might be in the way.  People Leading PeopleJim talks about how important it is to avoid leading through fear. People will perform better and be happier when a more human-focused approach is taken. Being in a developmental state rather than one of fear - every metric improves. Getting people in the habit to think about helping, supporting and collaborating with their colleagues, rather than obeying orders and completing tasks. Knowing your strengths those of your team is the most important thing you can do as a manager.Resources:It’s the ManagerSend Marcel a text message!

How do you lead well, or love well, when you come from a dysfunctional home? It isn’t easy - but today’s guest on the Love in Action Podcast, Mark C. Crowley, author of Lead From the Heart knows it’s possible - and knows how to make it happen. From Difficult BeginningsMark’s mother passed away when he was young, and his father seemed intent on destroying Mark’s self-esteem and emotional well-being. It’s hard to imagine a parent treating a child this way - but we all know it *does* happen, and the children have to find their own way forward. After his father kicked him out of the family home, Mark had a few dark years, but a powerful drive to prove his father wrong, succeed and make an impact on the world. While in college, Mark noticed how different his peers were in terms of how they seemed prepared for the world in a way that he wasn’t. Mark turned his own experience around, and realized that if he had had more coaching, support, mentoring and love - his life would have been better and easier - so he decided to give those things to the people he was leading as a manager. Science Meets PhilosophyWhen Mark started writing his book, it was to fulfill a personal dream, to articulate his philosophy, and help other managers. And then a friend asked him if he was going to explain how it works, scientifically. This meant that Mark had to dig into the physiological reasons that, leading from the heart, make you an effective manager. So he wrote to world-class cardiologists to find scientific evidence. They all ignored him, until, while having a test run, he met a new doctor who was able to connect him with the professionals he needed to bring the weight of science to his thesis of management. It’s been found that the human heart has intelligence, of a kind - and this is awesome news for the business community. The cardiac surgeon Mark consulted told him that with his book, he’d figured out something that the medical community was just beginning to understand: your biography - what happens to you, affects your biology. As in medicine, in management: more often than not - it's how we feel that makes us decide how to behave at work. It Isn’t Always An Easy Sell  Love can be evidenced in a lot of ways: setting expectations, sharing heartfelt feedback, getting to know people as people. You can’t manage people if you don’t know their story. How can you support someone, and give them what they need if you don’t know the realities of their life, their motivations, and their priorities? When so many people absolutely dread going to work in the morning, and we KNOW that lack of recognition and appreciation is a huge cause of that, why do so many managers think they need to be sparing with praise, appreciation and great feedback? It should be constant - a part of the culture. Fear Works - But Not ForeverThe people who work for you don’t want you to be the boss ALL the time. Sometimes you should just have a regular, normal conversation. It’s not a waste of time - it’s where the heart gets its energy. But all too often, managers feel like they have to always be authoritative, and use fear to get things done. The thing is - fear works. It helps people hit numbers and milestones. But what’s the coast? Is it sustainable? What is the COST of using fear to lead, and is it worth it?After graduating, Mark’s son told him that there was “no way in hell I want your career.” And while that sounds like the kid is a jerk - what he was actually saying was that “I’ve seen how you were treated and what it did to you. I want something different.” Younger generations are refusing to live and work in fear. That can only be a good thing - and we should do the same. ResourcesLeadfromtheheart.com | Markccrowley.comSend Marcel a text message!