Love in Action

Kim Loh is a conflict resolution and negotiation specialist, leadership coach, and co-author of the book Compassionate Conversations: How to Speak and Listen from the Heart. Her book is viewed as the definitive guide to learning effective strategies for engaging in open and honest conversations about divisive issues. Previously, she worked in peacebuilding and mediation research for the United Nations, as well as writing and advocacy for international NGOs and academic institutions. A lawyer by profession, she is an expert in international arbitration and litigation. Her work today centers on serving conscious leaders to up-level their human relationships and harness the true power of their teams. She joins Marcel Schwantes to discuss what drives conflict and share strategies for peaceful resolution.Marcel asks Kim to unpack the term “difference equals threat.” Humans are surrounded by similarities and differences, and are constantly balancing between the two, Kim explains. “If, through our own limitations, we cannot accommodate what’s happening [around us], we are likely to perceive it as a threat, which activates the flight or fight response,” she comments. [6:25]Kim shares tips for peaceful conflict resolution and reduction. The first thing you need to do when faced with conflict is to be aware of your role in it. You must take responsibility for yourself and your actions before analyzing the external factors of the conflict that need to change. [10:34]“All conversations about differences should begin and end with what we have in common,” Kim advises. She briefly describes strategies for eliminating division in conversation. [14:12]‘Talking straight’ is less about being blunt and more about having the courage to speak from the heart in goodwill and with good intentions, Marcel says. Kim believes that we are plagued by the things we don’t know how to say. When we listen well and talk straight, we create the freedom to be more truthful in conversation. [18:24]Though society as a whole is cognitively focused, our hearts are what will allow us to make sense of and peace with things that our minds cannot, Kim remarks. [20:34]ResourcesKimberly Loh on LinkedIn | TwitterKimberlyLoh.comCompassionate Conversations: How to Speak and Listen from the HeartSend Marcel a text message!

Houston Kraft is CEO and co-founder of CharacterStrong, an organization dedicated to infusing character, empathy, and connection into education. He is an author, keynote speaker, and curriculum developer. A self-proclaimed kindness advocate, he is passionate about spreading it in meaningful ways. His most recent book, Deep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness, explores kindness as a skill set and competency that can bring revolutionary change. He joins Marcel Schwantes to discuss how kindness can improve our quality of life and shares actionable tips to help us be more kind every day. Marcel asks Houston why he wrote his recent book. Houston explains that it’s because he appreciates how much words shape our lives. “Language is the vehicle to experiences, emotions, and memories inside our brains, so it stands to reason that the way we think about things is a huge indicator of how we act.” [6:52]Our culture views kindness as a nice-to-have instead of a must-have, according to Houston. We see it as fluffy, so we don’t see the need to develop it in ourselves as a skill. [9:14]“We are experiencing an increase in accountability. People are being seen, watched, exposed, listened to and critiqued more deeply than they have in the past,” Houston remarks. “The bridge that we are now tasked to cross is how to show loving accountability. Accountability without love is condescending; it creates friction without room for growth,” he adds. [15:45]Houston defines forgiveness and describes what it entails. “By extending forgiveness, you’re setting yourself free from holding on to anger and resentment while also setting clear boundaries around the behavior of [who you are forgiving] so it doesn’t violate you again,” Marcel comments. [18:19]Provide a specific constraint to make your goal of kindness more actionable. For example, asking ‘How do I be kind today towards my mom?’ may yield more actionable answers than simply asking ‘How do I be kind today?’ [25:08]“There’s power in scheduling time to worry,” Houston quotes. “Give yourself 15 minutes a day to worry and only do so during that time. So many of us let worry bleed throughout our day which makes the stuff in the background seem bigger and more monstrous.” [33:33]“My mom wrote notes in my lunchbox from kindergarten to 12th grade. They took her 2 minutes every day, and when I look back and add it up, [I realize] it’s the most profound action of love I’ve experienced. The little things are the big things,” Houston shares. [39:39]Marcel welcomes Tom Geraghty, the creator of the Psychological Safety Toolkit, to share insights about the importance of psychological safety in the workplace and why it’s good for business.ResourcesHouston Kraft on LinkedIn | TwitterHoustonKraft.comDeep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in KindnessTom Geraghty on LinkedIn | TwitterPsychSafety.co.ukSend Marcel a text message!

Love In Action is celebrating 100 episodes!In this 100th edition of Love In Action, four specially invited mystery guests join Marcel Schwantes. They share stories of their career development and give insights about workplace rituals, anxiety and happiness at work, and COVID-19’s impact on workplace culture.Marcel welcomes Erica Keswin, who was the very first guest in the pilot episode of Love In Action. She is a speaker and strategist and has recently written a new book, Rituals Roadmap: The Human Way to Transform Everyday Routines into Workplace Magic. She shares what prompted her to write the book and why she believes it needed to be written. [2:04]Workplace rituals give us a sense of psychological safety, an opportunity to connect to purpose and values, and a performance boost. Erica distinguishes the difference between a ritual and a routine and shares the three components of a ritual. [5:09]The second mystery guest is Chester Elton, who is an advisor, executive coach, mentor, and third-time guest on Love In Action. He is the co-author of Anxiety at Work: Eight Strategies to Help Teams Build Resilience, Handle Uncertainty, and Get Stuff Done. Chester talks about anxiety and its effects in the workplace. [13:48]“Until you, as the leader, give your people permission to be vulnerable, they won’t be,” Chester claims. “The way you do that is to be vulnerable yourself. [When you say] ‘Hey, we’ve all been through a lot, and I am burnt out, I’m going to take a mental health day, and I encourage you all to do the same if you need to,’ you give your employees permission.” [19:19]Mystery guest number three is Richard Sheridan, who featured on the fifth episode of Love In Action. Richard is the CEO and Chief Storyteller at Menlo Innovations, and the author of Chief Joy Officer: How Great Leaders Elevate Human Energy and Eliminate Fear. Rich and Marcel discuss the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic. [24:54]The workplace rituals at Menlo have mostly remained the same since the pandemic, with modifications to accommodate remote work, Rich says. [27:53]Annie McKee is an advisor, executive coach, speaker, and author of How to Be Happy at Work: The Power of Purpose, Hope, and Friendship. Annie was the featured speaker on the 14th episode of Love In Action. She describes why happiness at work, especially currently, is so elusive. [31:40]According to Annie, the three key elements that must be present in order for there to be happiness at work are a sense of purpose in our work; a sense of hope and optimism about our lives and careers; and friends at work. [32:52]Marcel hosts a mini Q&A session with the four guests. Annie asks Chester how we can combat the lesser-known pandemic of stress and burnout. “I believe one of the cures [we need] is to bring civility back to the workplace and to our communities… we need to be kinder to each other,” Chester responds. [40:26]“I honestly believe this movement for a kinder, gentler, more meaningful, purpose-driven workplace is not just a better way to work; it’s a better way to live,” Chester remarks. “This isn’t something you leave at work, it's something you carry with you in every phase of your life.” [49:33]ResourcesErica Keswin on LinkedIn | TwitterEricaKeswin.com Rituals Roadmap: The Human Way to Transform Everyday Routines into Workplace MagicChester Elton on LinkedIn | TwitterChesterElton.comAnxiety at Work: Eight Strategies to Help Teams Build Resilience, Handle Uncertainty, and Get Stuff DoneRichard Sheridan on LinkedIn | TwitterMenloInnovations.comChief Joy Officer: How Great Leaders Elevate Human Energy and Eliminate FearAnnie McKee on LinkedIn | TwitterAnnieMcKee.comHow to Be Happy at Work: The Power of Purpose, Hope, and FriendshipSend Marcel a text message!

Eryn Eddy is a social entrepreneur, author, speaker, and the founder of So Worth Loving, a lifestyle clothing brand and community of passionate and original individuals that exists to embrace the past and empower the future. She and her work have been featured on CNN, MSNBC, and even the Oprah Magazine. Her book, So Worth Loving: How Discovering Your True Value Changes Everything, is a reminder that to be human is to be imperfect. She joins Marcel Schwantes to share insights about her personal struggle, community, empathy, and the power of honest conversations. She talks about entrepreneurship and the impact of self-doubt on our ability to work and lead others.Marcel asks Eryn to describe the big idea behind her book. “[My book] is not a memoir or a self-help book… it’s an invitation to learn that struggling is human, doubt is human,” Eryn shares. “It’s a matter of [learning] how to face those things and [surrounding yourself with the right people] to help walk you through that.” [6:01]Introspection is necessary for the process of self-discovery, Marcel claims. It’s important for people to look inside themselves, honestly inspect their hearts, and address their blind spots, because that’s where the work begins. [12:29]Imposter syndrome can be a serious hindrance for a leader. “Believing [in your imposter syndrome] will cause you to disqualify yourself to lead. You’ll have that conversation in your head... which will hold you back from stepping in and stepping up to do what is required of you,” Eryn explains. [15:24]Many people in positions of leadership often experience failure and setbacks. Marcel asks Eryn how leaders can bounce back from this, especially if they are experiencing it for the first time. We rarely give ourselves permission to be still in our failures, she responds, but we must learn how to. Failure is an excellent teacher and understanding why it happens can prepare us for the future. [21:04]“It’s very easy to be a destructive critic of yourself,” Eryn remarks. “Treating yourself with patience and kindness, constructive criticism can be hard, but once you learn how to do it, you will naturally know how to treat your team the same way.” [29:02]While self-care is important, it is equally important to avoid overindulgence in activities that feel good in the moment but are more harmful than good over time. There must be a balance between relaxation and discipline, Eryn comments, even when discipline feels draining. [33:29]“The lines of work and [personal] life are now blended because of the pandemic,” Marcel says. “Now more than ever, you should start meetings with your employees and team members by checking in with everyone… Someone may be struggling [with something] that the community at work can help with, which would lead to better business outcomes.” [37:38] Eryn advises leaders to give themselves permission to rest for a day. [44:22]ResourcesEryn Eddy on LinkedIn ErynEddy.com | SoWorthLoving.comSo Worth Loving: How Discovering Your True Value Changes EverythingSend Marcel a text message!

Adam Bryant is Managing Director at Merryck & Co, as well as Senior Advisor to the Reuben Mark Initiative for Organizational Character and Leadership at Columbia University. He is the former “Corner Office” columnist for the New York Times. His recent book, The CEO Test: Master the Challenges That Make Or Break All Leaders, is a practical playbook for executives of all levels, sharing the seven key reasons why leaders succeed or fail in their roles. He joins Marcel Schwantes today to discuss his book and how leaders can apply its principles in the workplace.Adam says that the Corner Office came from his interest in CEOs as humans. “What I realized [from years of interviewing CEOs] is that [CEOs] in the business press are always interviewed in the same way, as strategists” he shares. “The more time I spent with them, the more I became intrigued with them as people.” [4:40]If leaders want to build a good culture, they need to start from the ground up. Company values should be addressed, discussed, and implemented at every level. People become cynical if company behavior contradicts its stated values, and cynicism can be cancerous to an organization, Adam explains. [12:13]“You cannot tolerate the high-performing jerk.” Regardless of someone’s extreme competence in their job, they cannot be made an exception to the values of an organization. “If you don’t let them go [you allow] the cynicism to creep in.” [14:09]Often leaders overlook the fact that they are responsible for setting the tone and rules when a team is dysfunctional. Leaders must be intentional about stating their role and the roles in a team, as well as the expected behavior, Adam states. This eliminates the creation of silos, Marcel adds, which causes competition rather than collaboration. [19:20]“The higher up you go in the [organizational] hierarchy, the less accountability you receive,” Marcel cites. “The reason is obviously because you’re listening to less and less people the higher you go. Those of us that are just command and control [oriented] are not going to want to listen to many different perspectives.” [23:47]Adam lists the different aspects of leadership. Leadership is about humility, but you also have to be confident; leadership is about being compassionate, but you need to hold people accountable; leadership is about patience, but it also involves urgency. [27:02]“I think American society is a pendulum that swings back and forth… I’m hoping [the pendulum] can get back to us seeing each other as human beings,” Adam shares. “Listening… is a lost art in our society… not only is it a superpower for leaders, but I think it sets you apart in your career.” [33:06]ResourcesAdam Bryant on LinkedIn | TwitterAdamBryantBooks.comThe CEO Test: Master the Challenges That Make Or Break All LeadersSend Marcel a text message!

Mita Mallick is Head of Inclusion, Equity, and Impact at Carta, a contributor at Entrepreneur Media, and the author of the popular “Please don’t” column at SWAAY. Additionally, her work has been featured in Harvard Business Review. She has led iconic brands like AVEENO, Suave, Dove, and Vaseline, where she signed Viola Davis to be the Vaseline Healing Project Ambassador. She joins Marcel Schwantes to discuss the biases against working mothers in organizations and how to combat them. Paid time off is not enough to support women, Mita says, because there is a common social bias which affects them during their maternity leave. Unfair treatment persists after they return and holds them back. [2:37]Mita shares her experience with unfair treatment on the job during her maternity leave. Her employer offered her position to another worker, even after assuring her she would retain her role in the organization when she returned. “This is [not just] my story,” she says, “it’s the story of so many women and this happens every day.” [6:42]Mita talks about the conversations managers should be having with employees going on maternity leave. Managers should provide employees with feedback on their performance and the state of their assignments, so they know where they are leaving things and do not have to worry about work on their time off. [10:23]“I strongly believe our employees are our forgotten consumers,” Mita claims. “As companies, we spend so much time thinking externally about who we sell to and how we get them to try our products. [We need to also] ask [our employees] what they want and need, and provide it for them.” [15:25]Women have been disproportionately affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. Since the start of the pandemic, five million women have lost their jobs, and 2 million have permanently left the workforce. Additionally, there are 3 unemployed working mothers to every father who has lost his job. Black and brown women are even more affected by their job losses. [17:41]Having a gap in your resume makes it more likely for you to be seen as lazy, incompetent, and unambitious, Mita remarks. Because of this, it may be difficult for women who have been forced out of employment due to the pandemic to find new work. “When advertising, companies need to be open about them being okay with prospective employees having a gap in their resume,” she adds. [21:21]Marcel asks Mita why the role of a Chief Diversity Officer is important to an organization. She responds that it’s to ensure that employees’ needs are met, so it enhances the organization’s overall performance and strategy. [24:41]“Kindness is such an underdeveloped, underutilized, and underrated leadership trait,” Mita comments. “Kindness and love are connected. [Leaders can] show love at the workplace by honoring their employees’ experiences and contributions.” [30:24]ResourcesMita Mallick on LinkedIn Maternity Leave Isn’t Enough to Retain New MomsSend Marcel a text message!

Pamela Fuller is the Global Managing Client Partner on the Public Sector team and Thought Leader on Inclusion & Bias at FranklinCovey. She is also a speaker and co-author of The Leader's Guide to Unconscious Bias: How to Reframe Bias, Cultivate Connection and Build High-Performing Teams. Her passion for issues of inclusion has fueled her commitment to diversity and the empowerment of historically marginalized groups, which have always been factors in her personal and professional endeavors. She joins Marcel Scwantes today to talk about how leaders and team members can challenge their unconscious biases to promote a healthier organizational culture.According to a study done by Deloitte Human Capital Trends, only 12% of the 71% of companies that aspire to have an inclusive and diverse culture actually have practices in place to reach that goal, Marcel cites. Leaders and team members are often primed to rely on their unconscious bias, which impedes the creation of inclusive and diverse environments. [1:15]Bias permeates all important decisions in the talent lifecycle, including how people are hired, how work is delegated, and how people move through the ranks or build their influence, Pamela shares. “Even as organizations push diversity efforts… they struggle to retain and promote diverse talent,” she comments. “[This is why] in many organizations, we still see a large gap between the diversity at the front line and the diversity at the leadership table.” [6:42]Biases affect people financially as well as psychologically. In Western society, biases against body image are so severe that there is a 10.5% decrease in pay for every 1% increase in a woman’s body mass. Even babies that are perceived as “pretty” are spoken to twice as much as babies who are considered “unpretty,” which gives them an unfair social advantage. [8:29]Pamela shares how other people’s unconscious biases have affected her, as a colored woman, during her professional career and how she was forced to overcome them. Being subjected to other people’s biases places you in the limiting zone, she explains, where conditions do not exist for you to perform at your best. [12:37]“We often take any sort of difference and penalize it, rather than addressing the reality that people are different, because it’s more convenient for us,” Pamela remarks. [19:11]Organizations with a diverse C-suite and board of directors post better financial results because of their different experiences. Having a team of people with different experiences promotes innovation because there will be variety in the ways problems are solved and solutions are thought up. [24:08]“We have natural empathy when we see similarities,” Pamela claims. “It’s part of the hardwiring of the brain. Empathy is the interpersonal art of connection, a natural vibration that we feel with people.” [29:28]Marcel asks Pamela how leaders can identify their biases. When we engage with people and our biases act up, they are almost always based on strong feelings with no little to no evidence. One thought exercise that helps with identifying biases is a mental T chart, with one column being ‘fact’ and the other being ‘feelings.’ The exercise forces you to think about what evidence you have to validate your assumptions, and match them to a column. It challenges your value and belief system, but it doesn’t happen overnight, Pamela warns. [32:29]“Many of the behaviors we recommend for building an inclusive organization are really about blowing up the organizational hierarchy,” Pamela says. “Recognize that a leader at the top can talk to somebody at the front line. It’s the way to cultivate connection in the organization and give everyone a voice.” [37:46]ResourcesPamela Fuller on LinkedIn | TwitterPamela’s Personal BlogThe Leader's Guide to Unconscious Bias: How to Reframe Bias, Cultivate Connection andSend Marcel a text message!

Mark Brouker is a retired captain from the US Navy, a published author, Executive Coach at The Honor Foundation, and the founder and President of Brouker Leadership Solutions. He is also a keynote speaker and consultant dedicated to helping businesses and Fortune 500 companies using principles he learned from his time as a Navy officer. He joins Marcel Schwantes to discuss his most recent book, Lessons From the Navy: How to Earn Trust, Lead Teams, and Achieve Organizational Excellence, and leadership strategies that work. After discovering inconsistencies in his motivation for work, Mark discovered that the cause was not the job itself, but his boss. “I read a lot of books and observed… when people know their boss cares for their well being, they work really hard for [them],” he remarks. [4:17]The best leaders get to know their people as human beings first and employees second, build trust within their organizations and treat their people with respect, which is one of the most important behaviors a leader can convey to his or her team members. Additionally, good leaders address and acknowledge both good and bad performance. [9:52]Marcel asks Mark what the pathway is to building trust in organizations. “There are different aspects of trust… you have to have some modicum of competency… keep your word… [and] care for your people,” he replies. “Of the three, caring for your people is the most important.” [14:13]Marcel comments on the prevalence of fear-based management. “Cultures of fear breed bad decisions,” Mark states. The cumulative behaviors of the leaders determine whether an organization’s culture is built from fear or trust. More specifically, how a leader reacts to bad news often sets the tone for how they will be perceived. [20:20]The primary job of a CEO is to create a culture, Mark points out. Half of their work is individual contribution, but the other half is supposed to be dedicated to creating the culture of their team. When leaders understand that, they are more likely to pay extra care to the way they interact with their people. [25:18]Walking around inquiring about people’s well-being and being visible are important keys to establishing good relationships as leaders, as opposed to only making your presence known to inspect things. Having established relationships makes people more receptive to correction and creates high-performing teams. [28:14]“Everyone's got potential,” Mark says, “and great leaders find things in people that they didn't even know they had…. What’s beautiful about leadership is [the ability to] help people maximize their potential, help them along their journey and make their day.” [31:14]ResourcesCapt. Mark Brouker on LinkedIn BroukerLeadershipSolutions.comSend Marcel a text message!

Kevin Eikenberry is the founder, owner, and Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group. He is also a virtual speaker, trainer, author, and member of the Forbes Coaches Council. He is a world expert on thought leadership, development and learning, as well as the co-founder of the Remote Leadership Institute. His most recent book, The Long-Distance Teammate: Stay Engaged and Connected While Working Anywhere, is a practical guide to navigating the personal and interpersonal, growing the skills to be productive, and communicating effectively. He joins Marcel Schwantes to discuss his book and how to apply its principles to the virtual workplace.Marcel asks Kevin about the reason for writing his book. “There's a big difference between working from home and being an effective member of a team or a remote teammate,” Kevin remarks. “Thinking about it as ‘I work from home’ [is] a different mindset than ‘I’m part of a team that’s not next to me.’ Changing our mindset is a huge part of us being more successful, feeling more connected, and having less stress.” [5:04]Employees have a certain degree of responsibility for their own engagement, Kevin says. Leaders set the conditions, but at the end of the day it’s up to an employee to decide whether or not their work matters enough for them to say “I’m in.” Engagement is about a choice we make. [9:51]The three-P model that facilitates success as a remote teammate is: productivity, proactivity, and potential. Kevin briefly describes each component of the model and the roles they play. They are coachable attributes, he adds. Anyone can learn skills that promote these three P’s. [14:03]Marcel asks Kevin how leaders can motivate their remote teams. “Motivation is largely internal,” he replies. “[As a leader] you can persuade, influence and help your team choose [to be motivated]. One way to do this is to spend more time talking to them.” [18:19]“As leaders and team members, we need to grant each other some grace,” Marcel comments. “If stuff like a dog barking or a child interrup meetings, we should be understanding. I’m not saying granting people grace means that everything goes, but I think many people are overwhelmed because they’re worried about that stuff.” [23:25]“Sixty percent of social interactions happen at work and much of that has vanished due to recent events,” Kevin cites. “I believe as leaders we have a moral, ethical, and organizational responsibility to understand and recognize that, and while we aren’t psychologists, we can recognize that we have folks who are hurting. I believe if we apply some of the things we've been talking about today, we can have a positive impact and make it better.” [27:38]ResourcesKevin Eikenberry on LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram | FacebookKevinEikenberry.comThe Long-Distance Teammate: Stay Engaged and Connected While Working AnywhereSend Marcel a text message!

Kevin Oakes is an author, the CEO and co-founder of The Institute for Corporate Productivity, and is on the Board of Directors at Performativ. He has been a pioneer in the human capital field for the past 25 years and is an international keynote speaker on culture, leadership and talent management. His most recent book, Culture Renovation: 18 Leadership Actions to Build an Unshakeable Company, is a practical guide to forging organizational cultures that re-humanize work. He joins Marcel Schwantes to discuss how to successfully facilitate culture change.According to Kevin, 85% of organizations that attempt to improve their organizational culture fail. A common misstep is that they do not acquire the cooperation of the whole organization, nor create the mentality needed to bring about a culture change. [4:54]Marcel asks Kevin how the pandemic has affected organizational cultures. “There's no escaping the reality that cultures have changed during the pandemic, and that change wasn't necessarily [started by the leaders],” he replies. “Many organizations are recognizing that we need to be a little more proactive about the culture that we want going forward.” [8:25]In every organization, there is a certain person (or people) along the chain of command that everyone goes to for information, answers and assistance. “[They are] internal rock stars that everything seems to pass through,” Kevin says. “While those people are usually invaluable to a company, they also are possibly suffering from collaborative overload.” He explains the effects of collaborative overload on the victims as well as the organization. [12:56]“For the sake of the employees’ psyches, [leaders] should settle on the communication channels that they are going to use internally,” Kevin comments. Oftentimes different departments will use different communications channels, and employees get stretched thin across many platforms because they are never sure who is going to want to communicate with them. [16:35] Organizations with the most successful culture changes and initiatives are those who train their leaders in all five types of leadership behaviors, research shows. [21:10]Marcel asks Kevin to share tips for leaders on communicating change during times of uncertainty. Leaders need to speak up during periods of societal unrest, Kevin responds. “Internally, your workforce is going to reflect the external environment. Reinforce your values and purpose, and affirm that differences in opinions is okay as long as there is mutual respect. A team wins when it’s united.” [23:37]“[On an individual and organizational level], we listen merely to reply, not to understand,” Kevin remarks. “The first step in all of the 18 action steps [from my book] is to develop and deploy a comprehensive listening strategy.” Many executives assume they understand the culture of their organization before they attempt to change it and often make mistakes, he adds. [30:01]A lot of things try to divide us, but when we take the time to listen to each other, the divisiveness goes away, Kevin advises. He urges listeners to focus on listening to understand and not just to reply. [39:17]ResourcesKevin Oakes on LinkedIn | Twitteri4cp.comCulture Renovation: 18 Leadership Actions to Build an Unshakeable CompanySend Marcel a text message!