Curated Questions: Conversations Celebrating the Power of Questions!

Jenny Hegland fosters connections and relationships wherever she lands. As a University Community Engagement Relationship Manager, golf instructor, community disaster recovery lead, and listening poet, Jenny pays sincere attention to those she engages. She has two loves; Jenny serves as the Executive Director of The Good Listening Project and co-founder of Unlimited Boundaries.Jenny opens with heroics in Saipan in the aftermath of a typhoon, then recounts how community engagement and outreach fueled activism and making a difference in the community. Jenny explains the role of the listening poet and the impact it has had on her and those she serves. We discussed her parents' role in encouraging questions and how questions can be a pathway to healing. Other topics include community, grief, and loneliness. Jenny also shares two of her listening poet poems and the backstory that inspired them. Episode NotesJenny's story behind founding a disaster recovery start-up following a catastrophic typhoon in Saipan [1:50]Organizing and community activity in Rochester, Minnesota [5:45]Describes the work of a listening poet and the birth of The Good Listening Project [10:30]Why Jenny became a listener poet [14:55]The start of curiosity through Appreciative Inquiry [17:55]How Jenny's mom defended her right to ask questions [20:45]How questions can be a pathway to healing [30:30]The definition of love [36:30]Questions used to listen [37:20]Powerful communications tool [39:40]The movement of emotions is a definition of healing [43:00]A poem for a 13-year-old, "My Family is a Family" [44:45]Co-creation of a poem [48:50]A poem for a Father whose daughter died, "Evermore" [49:26]A discussion on grief [54:00]How the practice of listening can address the specter of loneliness [59:00]Unlimited Boundaries and flipping questions [1:01:55]Focusing on the quality of questions [1:09:09]Emergence and breakthrough through silence [1:09:50]Poem by Mark Nepo [1:12:30]An invitation and where to reach Jenny Hegland [1:13:40] Resources MentionedSaipanUnited for SaipanCARE CNMI SaipanUniversity of Minnesota RochesterVote "No" CampaignThe Good Listening ProjectKay McKeenFrankie AbralandThe Art of Hosting and Harvesting Conversations That MatterAppreciative InquiryDavid Cooperriderangel Kyoto williamsHarvard Sprint to Accelerate Vaccination Equitably (SAVE) in Community and Rural HealthSuzanne FirstenbergSebastian JungerUnlimited BoundariesMark NepoJenny Hegland on LinkedInBeauty PillProducer Ben Ford Questions AskedHow does one go from life in Minnesota to founding a disaster recovery start-up following a catastrophic typhoon in Saipan?What kind of organizing did you do in Rochester, MN?What was the origin of the Vote "No" Campaign?What is a listening poet?What prompted you to join this task (listener poet)?What is harvesting (conversations)?How did your curiosity and care for others start?Is there a pocket of coherence or innovation where things are working?How do you know this is true?Is there anything in your origin story that comes up in the quest of asking questions?What questions do you use to draw people out?What would you like to have a poem about?Tell me more.What was that like for you?When you think about reading this poem, how do you want it to make you feel?What is the story behind the poems?What if time is all we have?Why does this question have this effect on you?Any thoughts on how questions might be used?

"When you're someone's guest, one of the best ways to connect is to ask them questions and have this model of curiosity you carry about you." - Austin GraffAustin Graff has seen much of the world. Born to American parents, he grew up in Russia and Kazakhstan and returned to the United States for college in Michigan. He has lived in Washington, DC, for nearly 20 years and is married with a seven-year-old daughter.Austin has spent his entire career in social media and digital marketing. He started at non-profits, then shifted to larger companies such as Coca-Cola and, until recently, the Washington Post. In 2022, Austin launched Curiosity & Connection, which combines media consulting and travel guides. His family joins him on adventures as he explores and writes about DC's 131 neighborhoods and various global destinations.Austin shares deep insights into raising inquisitive children with high emotional intelligence, planning and executing worldwide travel with care for the local community, living a designed lifestyle, and describing what is necessary for a level 10 community. This journey is characterized by Austin's humility, love for people, and insatiable curiosity.Episode NotesAustin's obsession as a Local Guide for Google Reviews [2:10]Growing up in Tatarstan, Russia as a Third Culture Kid (TCK) [3:05]Being the outsider fosters curiosity and questions [5:19]Appreciation for local cultures [8:36]Appreciation for Washington DC's culture [10:10]Nuance and noticing the details of the local area and people [11:44]Writing comprehensive Washington DC neighborhood travel guides [14:15]Using curiosity and questions in a marriage [17:25]Avoiding pain by asking relational questions [19:55]Raising a child with high emotional intelligence [22:30]The healing that comes from being a parent [25:20]Learning with an inquisitive child [28:25]Fearless travel through nearly 100 countries and desired destinations [30:45]How Austin's daughter chooses her travel destinations [32:40]Questions to ask when evaluating travel destinations [35:10]Caring for local businesses and knowing when to tell the stories or not [38:30]Diving into social media and influencer marketing [42:45]Career highlights [45:40]Odyssey planning and designing a desired life [47:52]Community, how it is defined, developed, and lived [51:45]Friendships take time [59:30]Asking questions of social media (1:04:30]Asking questions and cultivating space for the answers [1:07:18]Where to follow Austin Graff [1:10:52] Resources MentionedCuriosity and ConnectionFancy Nancy Goes to ParisInternational Justice MissionCoca-ColaWashington PostDesigning Your LifeOdyssey PlanningBeauty PillProducer Ben Ford Questions AskedRussia and Kazakhstan are not the standard zip codes for an American child; can you fill in the details for those who have not heard the story?How did this growing-up experience foster curiosity and questions?Has appreciation for local cultures grown out of not belonging?What does your practice of asking questions with your wife look like?What were the high/low points of your week?Where do you see ourselves and family in 5/10 years?What are your disappointments?What was it like growing up in your family when you were at the age of seven?How do you handle a very inquisitive daughter's questions coming at you?How many countries have you visited?What is at the top of the list of places you haven't visited yet?What filters does your daughter use as she chooses a travel destination?What questions do you ask when considering destinations?What is the context we are stepping ourselves into?What did it feel like for this country's masses during this time?What is the historical context, and what is the culture like now?What are some of the biggest joys you have seen in the people there?What are some of the biggest disappointments or tensions in the area?How can we be responsible travelers?What is better for the earth?Is it better to stay in a hotel or Airbnb?Should we use public transit?If using a tour guide, are they ethical or local? Do they give back to the community?Asking local non-profits in the area about local social issues.How do you find hidden places?Do you want your story told?What shifted you from Non-profit companies to Coca-Cola and the Washington Post?How often do you and your wife discuss the Odyssey plan?How do you intentionally become part of developing a community?What have you done to foster the community where you live?Do you like McDonald's French fries or Burger King's french fries better?What kinds of questions do you wrestle with in a deep level of community?What is stopping you from having this conversation with your friend?What questions about social media are we not asking?What question am I not asking that I should be?How am I being authentic but also true to the privacy of my life?How am I giving grace to the people I am following?How is [media] affecting our culture and mental health through comparison?Do you have any thoughts or encouragement about questions and how we might use them that we haven't touched on so far?What else?Asking of AI: What questions should I ask to get to know them better?

"Choosing to be curious is acting on the idea that there's opportunity in the unknown, which becomes an invitation." - Lynn BortonLynn Borton is the creator and host of the podcast and Pacifica Network radio show "Choose to be Curious." Lynn is a facilitator—of conversations and transformation—with more than 30 years of experience in strategic governance and change management in the non-profit sector. Combining science, organizational learning, and leadership development, Lynn is working to synthesize the study of curiosity into something we can all appreciate: an exciting path to greater personal well-being, professional success, and life satisfaction.What started as a curious investigation into a startup radio station in Arlington, Virginia, developed into a weekly show with guests from across the globe and over 200 episodes.We talk about Lynn's childhood and how her parents influenced her curiosity, her career fighting for the rights of those experiencing mental illness, and the transition to exploring curiosity via a radio show/podcast. Curiosity was just the right topic to cover during this Curated Questions relaunch episode.Episode NotesLynn recounts how her parents fostered curiosity [2:25]Lynn describes when she first understood the power of questions [5:15]Asking questions out of care [8:15]National Alliance on Mental Illness – the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization [9:20]Realization it is better to ask questions than know everything [12:00]Lynn's favorite book [14:00]Discussion on mental health and checking in on people [15:55]Mental illness is not a casserole illness [18:00]The wellness community mindset doesn't apply to mental illness [20:20]Complex PTSD [22:20]Living and working with those who have mental illness and having intentional conversations [25:15]The birth of Choose to be Curious [28:55]Morbid curiosity and leaning towards what makes you uncomfortable [32:15]The real power is in learning to craft your own questions [36:03]Curiosity mentors [37:50]Defining and cultivating a curiosity practice [40:50]Respecting curiosity [42:50]Itchy fingers and life as a beginner urban sketcher [46:50]Investigating Choose to be Curious podcast episodes [50:15]Where to follow Lynn Borton [53:05]****************************************************************Mentioned ResourcesChoose to be Curious PodcastNAMITrust, with Scott NycumThe Phantom Tollbooth by Norton ChesterSeek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World by Scott ShigeokaMorbid Curiosity, with Coltan ScrivnerThe Art of Noticing by Rob WalkerThe Right Question InstituteValerie Hunter (Organizational Development)Awareness by Anthony De MelloWhat is a question, with Lani WatsonThe Right Questions Institute, with Andrew MiniganThe right questions for legal empowerment, with Naomi CampbellA double take on lynching, with Susan Strasser and Marcia E ColeBeauty PillProducer Ben Ford****************************************************************Questions AskedWas curiosity and questions a part of your childhood?When did you first understand the power of questions?What's going on?How are you?Are you absorbing the lessons?What questions are we not asking about mental health?What makes you come alive?What might we do to change the stigma around mental illness, such that in conversations, it would be treated like any other illness?What would you like me to know?If it starts to go sideways for you, what would you like me to know and how can I be helpful?What would NOT be helpful?What was the draw to all things curiosity?What curiosity conversations were surprising?What system infrastructure and communications need to be in place for a zombie apocalypse?What is a question?What makes a question a question?Who have been your mentors who modeled curiosity?How can one cultivate curiosity?What's even the least bit interesting to me around me?What are the ways large and small people bring curiosity into their lives?What area of your life are you a beginner?What should someone start with your Choose to be Curious podcast?Where is the best place to engage with you?

"Oftentimes people know their solutions, it is in them, we just have to ask the right questions for them to say what the solutions are." - Pat EnnisPat Ennis is a founder and President of ENNIS Legacy Partners. He helps business owners build sellable business value, control their exit, and leave their desired legacy. Pat has extensive executive leadership experience in wealth management and the non-profit sector. Additionally, Pat is a host of the Exit Readiness PodcastI have known Pat for over 20 years and have experienced his skill at asking targeted and meaningful questions. His model of humility and patiently asking questions has been beneficial over the years. Our discussion provides a tangible example of the path curiosity can take a conversation.We cover a lot of ground in our discussion. Pat explains how sales and serving his clients is first and foremost about being curious and taking a genuine interest in the individual sitting across the table. He talks about using questions to test assumptions and how asking meaningful questions is a means of loving others.I thoroughly enjoyed the discussion, laughter, wisdom and the impromptu invite at the end.I trust you will enjoy the conversation as much as I did.Show NotesPat explains early work history with questions [3:10]How Pat got started selling insurance right out of High School [5:20]How interest in others drives techniques [7:09]ENNIS Legacy Partners origin story and how business owners were an inspiration [9:26]Three questions Pat asks business owners about plans for selling a business [12:35]Being present in today's world and the benefit to others and yourself [16:50]Intentional about being presents and interested [18:45]Testing assumptions [20:29]Coaching Business Leaders [21:32]Counseling and recommended speaking to listening ratios [23:00]Discussing the confirmation question, "you know I'm for you?" in difficult conversations [24:30]Humility and the desire to seek to understand [28:00]Impact of social media on the ability to foster conversation [34:45]What does it look like to love others [39:30]How to meet others [47:43]Contact information for Pat Ennis [54:30]Reources Mentioned:ENNIS Legacy PartnersPeter Drucker Quote: "My greatest strength as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions"David Powlison & Christian Counseling and Educational FoundationBecause Of Them We CanPhilippa HughesBrene BrownCal Fussman Questions Asked:When did you first understand the power of questions?How did you get so interested in questions to begin with?Were you given training or sent to the wolves?Have you modified your questions through different jobs?Did your curiosity about others start with work?Have you found any particular questions that are useful in different circumstances?When are you thinking you want to exit or leave your business?Do you know how much money you are going to need to do what you want to do next?Have you thought about who you want to sell the business to?Why do you think that is the only thing you can do?Do you think there is a hack to asking better questions or do you just have to ask many to get to the answer?Do you use any other questioning techniques for other areas?Do you know I'm for you?Have you had any mentors that helped you with questions?How do you see questions used in the world are they used enough?Do you think social media is impacting our ability to have conversations?Do you find that asking questions communicates care for other people?What are three go-to questions to meet new people?Why is your best friend your best friend?

“It kinda felt like a punch in the gut, and felt guilty for even thinking that I could know what someone’s story was before sitting down to talk with them.” Rob LawlessRob Lawless is on a mission to connect with strangers one on one and get to know one another for an hour. His starting goal is 10,000 conversations, and I was his 3,097th.Rob has crisscrossed the United States and ventured into Canada as he catalogs his steadily increasing numbers on Instagram @Robs10kFriends. He discusses his reasons behind wanting to connect with others, his vision for the future, how to build empathy, and being an active listener.Our initial connection was in October of 2018 at the intersection of his project and my #YearOfConnection (@kenwoodward99) project on Instagram. This conversation includes some of my stories as Rob sought to learn about my connection journey to ensure he was faithful to the spirit of counting me among his 10k conversations.I am grateful to the Tru by Hilton Audobon Valley Forge hotel for hosting our discussion. The background sounds were indicative of the happy hotel staff and guests.Episode Notes:Uses his planned trip to Albania in 2020 as an overview of his project. [00:30]How confidence and gratitude increased during his project.  [03:40]Rob's approach to the conversation [08:56]Where Rob starts his conversations and the structure he uses to understand people. [11:13]Why Rob doesn’t put pressure on people during conversations. [13:30]Pie analogy to understand primary elements of life. [13:50]Thoughts about how to make human connection with others a viable option for busy people. [22:00]Why he created the #12FriendChallenge [25:30]Why questions are solutions for shy people in conversations [31:45]What the next 10 years of conversation and achieving his goal will look like. [32:30]Expects EQ will be more important than IQ in the future. [36:40]Why he insists on strictly one-on-one conversations. [38:27]Discusses international travel plans. [47:02]Resources Mentioned:KOTA The FriendDrakeTim FerrissQuestions Asked:How has your life changed as a result of this project?Have you found any useful questions during your conversations?Is career a big or small part of life?Who is someone in your top five favorite musical artists?What are routine things you do in your life outside of work?What caused a transition?How did you know that was not your true identity?How did you start to work on your true identity?How did you start to work toward your true self?Why did you make human connection important?What was the best way to connect with people?When did you learn the power of questions?What happens when you reach your goal?Have there been any surprises on this journey?Are there any places you would like to visit?