Martini Shot

Bette Davis famously answered “take Fountain” — an L.A. street with fewer lights — when asked her advice for actors starting out. Thing is, the questioner didn’t actually want practical advice. In fact, most of us say we want the truth when we actually prefer our feelings to be protected. Which is why executives wind up delivering notes with fluffy preamble, and why Rob Long was once taken aback when asked if his canceled show meant — ouch — that he was “washed up.” Transcript here. For more entertainment news, subscribe to The Ankler. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every question that comes up in Hollywood these days is really a variation on money, and the big one on everyone’s minds is: how are we going to make buckets of money in the TV business again? By reinventing an already reinvented model, says Rob Long. Hate the ad model coming for streaming? Well, Rob says consider it akin to the cover charge and drink minimum required to enter a jazz club.Transcript here. For more entertainment news, subscribe to The Ankler. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever hear of iPartment? It was a Chinese knockoff of Friends, with some Big Bang Theory rolled in, that received complaints from viewers over lines and scenes ripped directly from these American shows. Outright joke stealing is, of course, wrong, but Rob Long can’t help but also ponder the full spectrum of today's content “borrowing” — whether it’s stand-up about Hot Pockets or a dissertation from a certain Harvard ex-president. Transcript here. Subscribe at TheAnkler.com/subscribe for more entertainment news. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

An entertainment CEO’s to-do list for the year could include, among other boring and depressing things: layoffs, a merger with Paramount, a sell-off of local TV stations, an acquisition of Lionsgate, and the making of one’s quarterly debt payment. Long to-do lists are, however, as a psychiatrist once told Rob Long, self-sabotage. So instead, he suggests to the powers-that-be: Make a big, crowd-pleasing comedy instead, one in the vein of Anchorman or Zoolander. It’ll be the perfect antidote to doom and anxiety — and might even win your audience back. Transcript here. Subscribe here to The Ankler. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rob Long loves Christmas presents — expensive ones, preferably — and money. Lots of money. It’s an affliction that impacts everyone in entertainment, he argues, where enough is never enough. Even during a particularly confusing and hard year, we’re lucky to be able to complain about the work most of us do, which Rob realized at the paint store. And while Rob may not be personally calling you for money, he’s asking for your donations anyway to his favorite charity. Head to My Friend’s Place, Rob’s charity of choice, to help support youth experiencing homelessness.Transcript here. Subscribe here to The Ankler. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Rob Long reminds us that nobody likes to work for free — which is why, more often than not, writers find themselves in a tricky predicament. In an ideal world, a writer gets hired off a pitch. But other times, the writer ends up drafting a script on spec, a.k.a for free. And even when a writer does sell a pitch, the executives who buy it likely won’t be around long enough to actually produce the script, thus rendering it no different from a spec (minus the small upfront fee). It’s enough to make a writer want to be a producer. Free money! Just ask Rob.Transcript here. Subscribe here to The Ankler. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The podcast explores how material in the entertainment industry repeats itself, with examples of turning dramas into comedies. It discusses the trend of pitching comedy versions of popular shows and emphasizes the importance of tone in storytelling. The influence of audience reactions on live performances is also explored.

This week, Rob Long explains his number one rule for sharing emotions in entertainment-industry relationships: Don’t. After all, the best and longest-lasting relationships in Hollywood are the ones that stay frozen in place, uncomplicated by unnecessary interactions until there’s a business reason to reconnect. Also: never confuse love for you with the love of money (as one might be inclined to do with network execs), and don’t ever feel pressure to say “I love you” back to anyone. Instead, consider the alternative, “You do me great honor.” Transcript here. For more news about the entertainment industry, subscribe to The Ankler at TheAnkler.com/subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When asked an honest opinion about someone’s appearance, you’ve likely enacted the Fix-It Rule: that is, if someone has the ability to do something about it — a stray hair, for example — you say something; if it’s congenital, well, you keep your mouth shut (or lie). That philosophy extends to Hollywood too, where almost everything is fixable, but everyone — even the most talented among us — has the capacity for at least one truly terrible, unsalvageable piece of work. How you move on from it, explains Rob, makes all the difference.Transcript here. For more news about the entertainment industry, subscribe to The Ankler at TheAnkler.com/subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever notice the insecurity of those flying to and from L.A.? Everyone is discretely eyeballing everyone else, figuring out who is in first class, and — in the case of one agent Rob Long met at the airport — over-explaining why he was not. You see, in an industry where people rise and fall, and often outright disappear, visible status symbols take on absurd importance. As does creating the appearance that everything is going just great! Which is why Hollywood euphemisms were born — and why Rob always writes his name in big letters on a script. Transcript here. For more news about the entertainment industry, subscribe to The Ankler at TheAnkler.com/subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices