CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Whitney defines what authoritarian parenting actually is (beyond just being strict), explores how it's rooted in control rather than raising independent humans, and explains why these parents struggle when their children develop agency and can no longer be controlled the same way. If you have an inkling that your family of origin might have been drawing on some of the principles of authoritarian parenting this might be a useful listen. Whitney also answers a listener's question about coming to terms about accepting an uninvolved parent.Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to ⁠whitney@callinghome.co⁠⁠Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.02:00 What authoritarian parenting actually is (and isn't)07:20 When you can’t be controlled anymore12:45 How authoritarian parents respond to loss of control24:43 Listener question Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney brings on Amanda White from Therapy for Women to react to the most requested show from her audience, you guessed it: Gilmore Girls. They break down season one, episode 18 "The Third Lorelai," analyzing the dynamic between four generations of women—Emily, Lorelai, and Rory plus the chaotic arrival of Emily's mother-in-law Trix. Even if you haven’t seen Gilmore Girls or this episode, Whitney and Amanda explore the universal experiences of being controlled by a matriarch, how emotional distance in one generation can create enmeshment in the next which in turn can cause estrangement in the next, and the weaponization of money and gifts in family dynamics.Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coAmanda’s website: https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/amanda-e-white-lpc/Therapy for Women IG: https://www.instagram.com/therapyforwomencenterJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.04:00 Scene 1: Emily loses control when her mother-in-law visits07:12 Scene 2: Money as connection and control23:04 Scene 3: Weaponizing gifts and criticism440:54 Scene 4: Lorelai’s insecurity49:21 The dinner table scale Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s 2026. If nothing changed in your family dynamic by the end of the year, would you be okay with that? How about five years from now? Whitney has a firm but loving message for anyone who's been collecting knowledge and awareness about their family dysfunction but stuck in that frustrating feeling of not knowing how to take action. She challenges you to recognize how much time, energy, and mental space your family's chaos is consuming and to stop waiting for other people to change before you can move forward. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.02:37 Insight without action sucks04:09 The daily toll of family dysfunction12:01 The overintellectualizing plateau18:22 If nothing changed in five years Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney is fired up about Oprah’s recent podcast about going no contact. She also responds to a Mel Robbins/Karl Pillemer article titled "Life is Too Short to Fight With Your Family." She breaks down why these narratives are harmful, who they're really speaking to (and who they're ignoring), and the problematic assumptions embedded in questions like "where did you get this idea from?” Whitney challenges the toxic positivity of telling people to accept mistreatment from family, questions why we're not writing these articles to Uncle Joe who's being racist at Thanksgiving, and explains why "just accept and move on" advice completely misses the mark.Oprah’s podcast: Oprah Explores the Rising Trend of Going No Contact with Your FamilyMel Robbin and Karl Pillemer article: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/opinion/thanksgiving-family-fighting.htmlWhitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.03:31 Oprah’s podcast45:05 The Mel Robbins’ NYT article58:15 Taking a break in December Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kate Gray (@codependencykate) is back with Whitney to react to one of the most iconic dysfunctional holiday dinners ever depicted on television: “Fishes” from The Bear (S2E06). They break down the infamous episode scene by scene, analyzing how anxiety manifests differently in each of the three siblings, Mikey, Natalie, and Carmy, in reaction to an emotionally volatile mother, Donna. Even if you haven’t seen the episode, you will almost certainly find a way to relate to Whitney and Kate’s breakdown of holiday gatherings and the ways we so often find ourselves trapped in roles we thought we'd escaped.Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.02:44 Episode setup09:58 The kitchen scene18:38 Natalie and Donna28:59 Dining room scene41:28 Mikey throwing forks at Uncle Lee46:47 Donna loses it at the dinner table Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney dives into the pitfalls of using therapy language with emotionally immature parents, revealing how it often backfires. She analyzes a pivotal scene from the show 'All Her Fault,' discussing sibling dynamics and how childhood roles can create lasting effects. Listener questions elicit fascinating insights about estrangement among siblings and the complexities of a competitive mother-daughter relationship. Whitney's expertise sheds light on navigating these challenging family dynamics.

Feeling guilty is one of the most common struggles for people stepping away from a dysfunctional family. Whitney explores how guilt is a learned response, not necessarily an evidence of wrongdoing, and why you were trained to believe that meeting your own needs harms others. She discusses the difference between guilt and grief, how family members use guilt to pull you back in, and offers practical tools for moving forward and coming to terms with these feelings. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.1:19 Why guilt shows up when you start doing life differently03:04 Guilt is a learned response, not evidence of wrongdoing12:22 Decentering20:33 Statements for feelings of guilt26:17 Building a life where you feel safe and supported Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whether you're skipping the family gathering, still debating about whether to show up, locked in for a chair-arm-gripping dinner, or spending the day alone, Whitney has a few tips for getting through the next 24 hours. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.02:44 Shut the door on social media that will only make it worse05:40 Practice radical acceptance of your situation07:08 Expect people to be who they've always been08:00 Protect your peace by only engaging where you need to10:54 You're allowed to have a good time Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Samantha Dalton, a group facilitator at Calling Home and host of the Nuance Needed podcast, shares her journey of deconstructing Mormonism, highlighting how deeply it permeates personal and communal life. She discusses the emotional immaturity fostered by early marriage norms, the challenges of gender roles, and the dynamics of accountability among men. The conversation also explores reality TV's complex role in destigmatizing trauma and the necessity of brave storytelling to reduce shame. Samantha's insights shed light on the interplay of religion, culture, and identity.

Whitney answers two listener questions that explore complex family dynamics and different responses to dysfunction. The first question comes from someone navigating estrangement from in-laws who rejected their adopted teenager. The second is about what happens when siblings respond differently to the same dysfunctional family system. Whitney also discusses a moment from the show Special Forces where Kody Brown, a TV personality known from the show Sister Wives, takes accountability for his mistakes as a parent. Whitney also reacts to a recent post from Chad and Haley Kultgen from The Necessary Conversation podcast.Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.00:00 Introduction and episode overview01:40 Special Forces and Sister Wives analysis08:28 The Necessary Conversation analysis17:43 Caller question #125:07 Caller question #2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.