CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Whitney unpacks a recent article from New York Magazine: “The Therapy That Can Break You” about Internal Family Systems (IFS) and what can go wrong when trauma treatment crosses ethical lines. She discusses the dangers of working with fragile populations without proper training, and what to watch for when working with different therapeutic modalities. She then answers two listener questions about navigating estrangement as the family scapegoat and balancing support for a depressed parent without losing yourself. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 01:06 Introduction to IFS therapy and The Cut article 02:49 What went wrong at Castlewood Treatment Center 09:52 Believing victims and the reality of false memories 18:08 The need for stabilization when working with trauma 25:51 Listener question 1: Navigating estrangement as the family scapegoat 31:32 Listener question 2: Supporting a depressed parent without losing yourself Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whitney launches a new series exploring family dynamics in pop culture, starting with Netflix's "Nobody Wants This." Joined by Meg Josephson, author of the New York Times bestseller "Are You Mad at Me?", she breaks down the clash between Noah's enmeshed, guilt-driven Jewish family led by his controlling mother Bina, and Joanne's emotionally distant family that hides behind humor. They discuss what happens when parents fuse their identity with their children, the difference between closeness and enmeshment, how cultural expectations complicate boundaries, and whether you'd actually want to sit down at this family's dinner table. Connect with Meg:https://megjosephson.com/ Order Meg’s new book:https://amzn.to/47tyvIi Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Introducing Whitney’s new series 03:49 Character overview 09:07 When Bina’s identity gets fused with her son 14:39 Closeness and enmeshment 27:51 Bina confronts Joanne 34:15 Joanne at Shabbat scene 50:55 The dinner table scale Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whitney answers two listener questions that share a theme: how do you protect your peace while staying connected to difficult family relationships? The first question explores reconnecting with in-laws after a year and a half of no contact—when is it safe to reopen that door, and how do you move forward without reopening old wounds? The second addresses hosting family in your new home when one relative consistently disrespects boundaries and your independence. Both questions wrestle with the tension between honoring your growth and navigating relationships with people who haven't changed. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 01:14 Question 1: Reconnecting with in-laws after no contact 09:06 A few possibilities of what might happen here 11:59 Question 2: Hosting family when one relative disrespects boundaries 14:07 Potential outcomes of setting boundaries with the problem relative 17:56 Connect with the Family Cycle Breakers Club Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whitney explores parentification—what happens when children become caregivers, mediators, and "responsible ones" long before they're ready. Whitney shares research on how early caregiving shapes us, when it becomes harmful versus adaptive, and how to transform childhood survival skills into adult strengths without carrying the weight of obligation. She also breaks down the scene between Brittany and her estranged daughter on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:16 Breaking down the estrangement scene on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City 13:27 What is parentification and why does it happen? 17:19 The adaptive strengths of parentification 22:11 The maladaptive consequences of early caregiving 25:48 Transforming survival skills into strengths you choose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whitney tackles an increasingly persistent narrative about family estrangement: therapists are encouraging people to cut ties from their families. Drawing from hundreds of responses from her audience—including adult children and estranged parents—she examines what actually happens in therapy rooms and whether the notion of a "secret underground movement" of therapists pushing estrangement holds up to scrutiny. She also answers a listener question about breaking cycles of reconciliation and abuse with a verbally abusive parent. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Are therapists encouraging estrangement? 02:22 The origins of this question and why it matters 05:58 What actually happens in therapy rooms 14:45 The difference between support and persuasion 29:19 Criticisms of therapists 39:31 Listener question: Breaking the cycle with a verbally abusive parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whitney sits down with Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and author of the new book "Love the Teen You Have," to discuss practical strategies for parenting teens and pre-teens. They explore why the teenage years can be so challenging for parents, how to navigate individuation and identity development, and actionable tools for transforming conflict into connection—including how to handle difficult conversations about topics like sex, social media, and diverging values. Order Dr. Lockhart's new book: https://amzn.to/4hxwTQX Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart and "Love the Teen You Have" 03:23 Why it's hard to parent the kid in front of you 05:40 Understanding individuation and teen identity development 12:09 Why connection matters more than control 20:38 Handling difficult conversations with your teen 36:20 Conversations about sex, drugs, social media, and other uncomfortable topics Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whitney responds to a question from a recent controversial TikTok post: Are you a parent forever? What does it mean to be a parent across the entire lifespan? Should parenting meaningful shift at age 18 or at some point beyond? Do parent-child relationships become equal peer relationships in adulthood? Then Whitney answers a question from a parent who isn’t sure how to interact with her adult son and daughter-in-law who have a newfound faith that has taken a more fundamental edge. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. November at Calling Home is all about parentification. Learn more at: https://callinghome.co/topics Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 03:08 Are You a Parent Forever? 07:04 What It Means to Lead as a Parent 14:39 Hierarchy in Parent Child Relationships 19:01 Q&A: Navigating Religious and Value Conflicts with Adult Children Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whitney interviews Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, author of the new book "You, Your Husband, and His Mother” about navigating mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. They discuss why this dynamic is so challenging, the scapegoating of daughters-in-law, triangulation of husbands/partners, the difference between setting boundaries and being controlling, and a few practical strategies for surviving the holidays together. Connect with Dr. Tracy: https://www.drtracyd.com/ Preorder her new book: https://amzn.to/4hixF49 00:00 Why the Mother-in-Law Dynamic Is So Common 04:44 The Abandonment Wound 07:04 The Scapegoating of Daughters-in-Law 12:01 Abusive Daughter-In-Laws? 18:54 The Husband's Critical Role in the Triangle 24:09 Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts 28:24 Psychological Conflict Between Women 32:25 Practical Boundaries and Mindset Shifts for the Holidays Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whitney analyzes scenes from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Love Is Blind to explore mother-daughter estrangement, purity culture shame, and how parents either repair or double down decades after causing harm. She breaks down Whitney Rose's advice to an at-risk mother, Bronwyn's devastating conversation with her mom about pregnancy shame, and two different paths to reconciliation in Love is Blind. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. 00:00 Using reality tv to understand real family dynamics 03:57 Real Housewives of Salt Lake City 15:45 The devastating scene between Bronwyn and her mom 27:45 Bronwyn’s mom doubles down 36:28 A missed opportunity to heal decades of hurt 39:20 Love Is Blind Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Build a more functional family today. In this episode, Whitney breaks down the hallmarks of functional families, how these skills can be learned regardless of how you grew up, and practical steps to get started. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. 00:00 Introduction: What Functional Families Actually Look Like 02:31 Admitting When There Are Problems 03:51 Open Communication and Repair 04:37 Being Known Without Performance 05:17 Reliability and Dependability 05:57 Zero Abuse or Neglect 07:21 Unconditional Belonging 09:14 Small Actions You Can Start Today Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices