The Prancing Pony Podcast

Gandalf discovers a damaged book documenting the Dwarves’ doomed attempt to retake Moria. They read with growing horror about the fates of Balin, Ori, and others; but at least they now know where they are and how to get out. Before they can leave, though, a killer drum solo begins in the depths far below, and soon they are attacked by Orcs, bigger Orcs, and even (say it with us) a cave-troll. Also: bad-luck names for library buildings, Tolkien’s commitment to realistic illustrations, and adventuring undergarments that offer more than just comfort. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Following an insensitive remark about the “darksome” halls of Khazad-dûm by Samwise at bedtime, Gimli delivers an impassioned defense of his people’s lifestyle choices — in verse — and Gandalf gives a history lesson about Moria and mithril. Safe in his (really valuable) mail-shirt, Frodo takes the first watch… and starts to believe he may not be the only one doing the watching. We revisit the ill will of Caradhras, spoil Gimli’s family reunion plans, and terrify our vegetarian listeners (and Alan) with way too much talk of meat extract. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Frodo feels a sense of growing dread — and hears faint footsteps behind them — as the Fellowship marches across the long dark of Moria, navigating the twists and turns with only Gandalf’s memory as their guide. But when they reach a fork in the road that the wizard can’t remember, what then? Maybe throwing a rock down this well will help. A passing reference to Middle-earth’s most notorious cat lady gets us chasing our tails in a screeching good sidebar, but before any of that, an interview with the acclaimed Tolkien artist Jenny Dolfen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Fellowship has found the Hollin Gate! But before they can enter Moria, they need to figure out the password. Merry stumbles upon a clue quickly, but no one notices, and Gandalf proceeds to shout spells at the door while something in the water waits for a chance to get handsy (tentaclesy?) with Frodo. Impulse control, Lovecraftian horrors, and an unusually high number of Monty Python references lie within (recorded prior to the passing of the great Terry Jones). Plus, word-nerdery about the worst password a Tolkien fan can use, friend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After the warg attack the weather changes again, becoming sunny and clear. That’s terrible news, of course, since now the Fellowship is visible to any unfriendly eyes that may be watching. They must get under the mountains quickly, but first they have to find the Elven Door into Moria; and someone still needs to tell Sam that he can’t take his little pony underground. We examine the implications of separate doors for guests, talk about Tolkien’s flexibility with moon phases, and call a lifeline for a question about Dwarvish word-nerdery that is beyond our skill to nerd. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Defeated by Caradhras, the Fellowship regroups and discusses what to do next. Going back — though supported by the second-breakfast faction — is not a viable option. Boromir, who was apparently napping through that part of the Council, continues to push for the Gap of Rohan. Finally, Gandalf makes a motion to go through Moria, and is seconded by a pack of hungry wargs. Amazingly, we do not revisit the whole warg/wolf/werewolf thing again (just kidding; we totally do). Plus, a heartwarming letter from the Professor to the Tolkien Society in This Week in Tolkien History. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The crossing of cruel Caradhras is hindered by snow, wind, and falling stones that seem to be sent by some supernatural force. Who or what is against them is unclear, but it is clear that continuing on is not an option… and going back is not going to be easy. Fortunately, a few members of the company aren’t quite as short as the rest, and Gandalf has something in his flask that will keep their spirits up. Also: the 1911 hiking trip that inspired Tolkien’s perilous mountain crossings, Elf-jokes, and profound listener insights about the varying tones in the Red Book of Westmarch. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Fellowship is forced to leave Hollin early when “no sign of life nearby” turns into “giant evil crows filling the sky”. Certain they are being watched, they get moving as soon as possible and make for the Misty Mountains, but Gandalf and Aragorn bicker like an old married couple about the best way to get across — if you’re more familiar with the movies, Gandalf’s choice may surprise you. Barliman brings us a welcome follow-up on a listener’s question about the friend who dismissed Tolkien as “nerdy”, and we seriously try to make “brupper” a thing, because the alternative is far worse. In memory of Christopher Tolkien, 1924 – 2020. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On a cold grey winter evening, Frodo sets out on the Quest of Mount Doom with eight companions. Boromir blows his horn to make sure everyone for miles around knows about their “secret” departure, and Gimli debates the value of oaths with Elrond before the Fellowship of the Ring says goodbye to the Last Homely House. We get knee-deep in Dwarvish word-nerdery, investigate Tolkien’s (unintentional?) symbolism in choosing Christmas Day as the start of the quest, and pass ourselves off as a couple of hoopy froods who really know where our towels are. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We resume the narrative with the first part of “The Ring Goes South”, as Frodo and his friends come to terms with the decisions made at the Council of Elrond. But the Ring isn’t going anywhere for a couple of months; and that leaves time for scouts to scout, smiths to smith, and Bilbo to get all nostalgic. As the roster of the Fellowship is filled and Frodo and Aragorn get (not really) new swords, we take another look back at the “incident” in the Hall of Fire, and lament the endless abuse piled onto Pippin by everyone’s favorite wizard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices