Best Life Best Death

Jade Adgate and I both love to read and we love to read books that expose us to new angles of death, dying, loss and grief. Sounds miserable, eh? But it’s honestly not. Through reading, we clarify our own thinking and values around these hugely human issues. Whatever you are reading, you can watch for these themes, and you can make it a point to read on hard topics long before you or a loved one needs the information. In this episode, we talk about 20 books that will increase your death literacy! ✨Being Mortal, Atul Gawande ✨When Breath Becomes Air, Paul Kalanithi ✨Giovanni’s Room, James Baldwin ✨In Love, Amy Bloom (BLBD Podcast #43) ✨When My Time Comes, Diane Rehm ✨Last Day, Dava Shastri ✨Crying in H Mart, Michelle Zauner  ✨A Matter of Death and Life, Irvin Yalom and Marilyn Yalom ✨The Book of Two Ways, Jodi Picoult ✨The Spanish Love Deception, Elena Armas ✨On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous and Time is a Mother, Ocean Vuong ✨A Thousand Mornings, Mary Oliver ✨Late Migrations: A Natural History of Loss, Margaret Renkl ✨The Cancer Journals, Audre Lorde ✨Clear Cut: One Woman’s Journey of Life in the Body, Ginny Jordan ✨Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe, Laura Lynn Jackson ✨For Small Creatures Such as We: Rituals for Finding Meaning in Our Unlikely World, Sasha Sagan ✨Death is But A Dream, Dr Christopher Kerr (BLBD Podcast #30 and #31) ✨With the End in Mind + Listen: The Art of Tender Conversations, Dr Kathryn Mannix Subscribe to the podcast for bonus content for only $7.99 a month! https://anchor.fm/diane-hullet/subscribe For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath

As a specialist in selling the many and varied items in an estate after someone has died, Louis Clough has some thoughts to share about stuff. How does the 80/20 rule apply to the material value of things in an estate? When should you sell vs keep something? How can sellers make sense of the options they have? Why is it important to think about our stuff now? Listen in, as Louis and I are about to cover a lot of stuff!  For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath

In her work as an end of-life practitioner, Rhea Mader finds herself in the deep end of the pool when it comes to conversations! Sometimes she simply brings the words dying and death into the room and that can make a difference. Sometimes she holds space for really big topics, such as "what meaning came from my life?" End of life doulas can add vocabulary, an objective presence, and the heart-to-heart piece that families and individuals might be seeking. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath

Dr Ira Byock - leader in palliative care, advocate for patients, and author - joins me this week. We discuss: What might it mean to “die well”? Why is the nature of serious illness more personal than medical? What  are the “four things that matter most”? What does “forgiveness” mean? How do the phrases he writes about in The Four Things that Matter Most apply to any of us, at any time in our lives? This week’s BLBD conversation really grabbed me, because it is about dying, sure, but it is far more about living… and living with humility and kindness. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath Episode

After Loss Professionals such as Rachel Donnelly play a unique role for all there is to be done after someone has died. Different from an attorney, more nuanced than an organizer, and with the know-how to do far more than just drop things off at a thrift store, Rachel can act as the ”air traffic controller” to manage the entire project of settling an estate. Whether it involves going through probate, deciding what to do with collections of unknown worth (Grandpa’s gold coins? Mom’s silver?), or filling out cumbersome out-of-state forms (transferring a car title in Minnesota?) – Black Dress Consultants can help! For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath Episode

The range of unique urns is as wide as the artists who are making them! This week I talk with woodworker C.C. Boyce, who developed a two-part wooden urn suitable for the cremated remains of people or pets. They come in various woods and sizes, and there is space in the bottom for cremains and space on top for a  plant. Hear how she got into this work and why one of her pieces might fit beautifully into your life. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath Episode

In Part 2 of our conversation, Sam and I talk further about compassionate options at the end of life. How have various state Medical Aid In Dying laws been passed? What part do data, numbers and personal stories play in helping us to better understand the issues? Why talk to your doctor about your values and options *now*? What compassionate end-of-life choices are there for those with dementia, and how could those be put in your Advance Directive today?How do the options of ending treatment, palliative sedation, or VSED (Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking) come into play? What does Compassion and Choices have to offer lay people, legislators, doctors, nurses, social workers, and more?? For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath Episode

This week and next, Sam and I dive and digress into several aspects of the end of life. How do we die? How did the organization Compassion & Choices come to be? What is Medical Aid in Dying? What do I need to know about Advance Directives? How do the choices that I write down now impact my future? The organization Compassion and Choices has deep roots and a wide spread of branches, offering us information on a variety of topics for our end of life journey. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath Episode

This week I talk with Kayla Nakano, one of the founders of a podcast about pet loss. Kayla and I talk about these loving relationships and the complex grief that can accompany their death – which is almost always so much sooner than we would like. What helps people through the loss of a beloved animal companion? What is “normal” for this type of loss? And how can we support friends and family through this experience? For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath Episode

This week Kim Mooney (thanatolgist and founder of Practically Dying) and I continue our conversation about “exit ramps.” Listen to learn about: palliative sedation, voluntary stopping of eating and drinking (VSED) and Medical Aid in Dying (MAID). What do each of these terms mean? What are the laws in various states? How do these processes work? What might these choices mean - legally, medically and personally? Kim and I discuss anecdotes from personal experience as well as broader questions of culture and ethics.  For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath Episode