Best Life Best Death

More from author, cancer survivor and psychospiritual specialist David Maginley! Building on our conversation from last week, David and I continue to explore the impact of Medical Assistance in Dying in Canada. As he says, “This goes far beyond the hospital bed and goes to the heart of our culture.” I would agree – MAiD is huge topic for our time. I certainly don’t have answers, but wow did I enjoy the depth of these conversations and David’s book Early Exits: Spirituality, Mortality, and Meaning in an Age of Medical Assistance in Dying. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

Ready for a deep dive? You can’t get much deeper than asking: What is the purpose of death? This episode is about Medical Assistance in Dying, yes, but that is only the avenue in for a next-level discussion. What are the psycho-spiritual dynamics around death? What does it mean that the ego dissolves? How does consciousness expand at the end of life? As a Chaplain, cancer survivor, and someone who has worked in palliative care for over 25 years, David Maginley has much to say. And I am – and hopefully you will be – an eager listener.For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

This episode is chock-full of important information about a topic that affects so many. What is dementia? What symptoms might it include? Why does it matter to test for dementia? What is a “dementia advance directive”? What are the needs of caregivers? How can support groups help? Jessica Empeño is the National Director of Clinical Engagement & Education for the nonprofit organization called Compassion and Choices. If you aren’t familiar with this key organization, search them up today. Their indispensable and free downloadable workbook on this subject is called the “Dementia Values and Priorities Tool.” Books we mention include: The 36 Hour Day; Care Boss; and The Best Friends Approach to Dementia Care.For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠.Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

Do you believe in the paranormal, the mysterious, the supernatural, the extra-ordinary? Whether you are a believer or not, I think you’ll enjoy this week’s extended BLBD episode with storyteller Orion Couling. Get ready for a ghost story, a wondrous story, and ruminations about architecture, culture, and history – not to mention a spontaneous reading of a monologue from Midnight Mass about what happens when we die.For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

One of Barbara Karnes’ recent publications is a booklet on food at the end of life. She believes that more education is needed in this area, as families often worry when people who are nearing the end of life from disease or frailty lose interest in food. Barbara gently educates that food is “the gas that we put in our car to make it go.” And when the car is no longer working, it no longer needs gas in the same way. What do we need instead? Love, connection, community, care. Barbara reminds us that at this stage the tasks are more spiritual: “What have I done? What do I think life is about? The spiritual component at this time is about coming to terms with the sacredness of being and the life that the individual has led." That's a lot of healing, and it's not about food. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

Ahh, denial. We all have it at times. How does denial play a role at the end of life? As BK says, “We’re a death-denying society, and we carry this denial inside on a level that I don’t know that we’re even aware of.” Combine that denial with the fact that caring for someone at the end of life is different than caring for someone who’s going to get better. Where can we find healing when the body can no longer be healed? When we’ve done the best we can, but we can’t fix the physical body, how do we have some quality time? And, why do people hold on at the end? This excellent conversation with Barbara Karnes, RN, explores denial, letting go, caregiving, finding meaning, and holding on. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

When Atul Gawande - surgeon, physician, son of a surgeon -  wrote Being Mortal in 2014, I wonder if he knew what staying power it would have. This timeless book captures many of the challenges we face in the US and other countries around aging, decline, disease, the medical system, and yes, ultimately death. Listen to this episode to hear a few compelling passages from the book about the importance of conversation and what a difference a little knowledge can make. (No, it’s not Dr Gawande reading, just me.)

Tracy Chalmers has written a guidebook we can all lean on. Rooted in five principles of care, she offers practical ways to walk alongside the dying, build a web of support as a caregiver, and navigate the inevitable storms of an end-of-life journey. The Nature of the Journey: A Trail Guide for Companioning Your Person on the End-of-Life Journey is a resource you’ll return to again and again. What can a companion do to foster connection? How do we “lean out” for help? What does it mean to bring presence to the bedside in an age of distraction? With clarity and compassion, this expert shares “applied wisdom” you can use right now. And she reminds us: “There are no do-overs.”

Talking with Jennifer and Karen brings BLBD back to basics, in the best sort of way. They share several “If Nothing Else” ideas. That is, “If I am not ready for big action steps, what little things can I do today to get myself better prepared for my inevitable end?” Death Doulas and Educators with The Heartwood Collective, these two women run courses for individuals, families and corporations called Peace of Mind Planning. If Nothing Else, listen to this episode and leave with some concrete ideas for your to-do list.

What does a deck of cards have to do with end-of-life education? Tools like The Dementia Deck, The Death Deck, and the EOL (End-of-Life) Deck offer easy-to-use, casual, and even uplifting ways to start meaningful conversations. Asking simple questions can help us understand our needs and wishes more clearly: “What does a good day look like for me?” “What brings me comfort in stressful situations?” “If I ever need round-the-clock care, I’d like to be supported by…” If you’re concerned about dementia — for yourself or someone you love — these conversation starters can open the door. Beginning the dialogue may help you feel more prepared, more connected, and a little more confident as you move forward.thedeathdeck.com