Best Life Best Death

When Atul Gawande - surgeon, physician, son of a surgeon -  wrote Being Mortal in 2014, I wonder if he knew what staying power it would have. This timeless book captures many of the challenges we face in the US and other countries around aging, decline, disease, the medical system, and yes, ultimately death. Listen to this episode to hear a few compelling passages from the book about the importance of conversation and what a difference a little knowledge can make. (No, it’s not Dr Gawande reading, just me.)

Tracy Chalmers has written a guidebook we can all lean on. Rooted in five principles of care, she offers practical ways to walk alongside the dying, build a web of support as a caregiver, and navigate the inevitable storms of an end-of-life journey. The Nature of the Journey: A Trail Guide for Companioning Your Person on the End-of-Life Journey is a resource you’ll return to again and again. What can a companion do to foster connection? How do we “lean out” for help? What does it mean to bring presence to the bedside in an age of distraction? With clarity and compassion, this expert shares “applied wisdom” you can use right now. And she reminds us: “There are no do-overs.”

Talking with Jennifer and Karen brings BLBD back to basics, in the best sort of way. They share several “If Nothing Else” ideas. That is, “If I am not ready for big action steps, what little things can I do today to get myself better prepared for my inevitable end?” Death Doulas and Educators with The Heartwood Collective, these two women run courses for individuals, families and corporations called Peace of Mind Planning. If Nothing Else, listen to this episode and leave with some concrete ideas for your to-do list.

What does a deck of cards have to do with end-of-life education? Tools like The Dementia Deck, The Death Deck, and the EOL (End-of-Life) Deck offer easy-to-use, casual, and even uplifting ways to start meaningful conversations. Asking simple questions can help us understand our needs and wishes more clearly: “What does a good day look like for me?” “What brings me comfort in stressful situations?” “If I ever need round-the-clock care, I’d like to be supported by…” If you’re concerned about dementia — for yourself or someone you love — these conversation starters can open the door. Beginning the dialogue may help you feel more prepared, more connected, and a little more confident as you move forward.thedeathdeck.com

In this episode, I sit down for a conversation with the producers of a documentary film called A Butterfly Has Been Released. The website sums it up beautifully: “With unfiltered honesty, authenticity, and humor, Allyson invites her family, friends and hospice coworkers into her dying experience. As time runs short, her community gathers to celebrate her life with a ‘living funeral,’ which Allyson hosts, and afterwards her natural, green burial. Throughout, Allyson confronts her own mortality and continues to create meaning and legacy, as her death approaches and beyond.” This conversation shakes up what you think might be possible, and shares the courage and creativity of a woman who found out she had only weeks to live. What would you do if you knew time was that short?For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

In this lively conversation, Maria Popova, a Bulgarian-born writer and creator of The Marginalian, dives into deep themes of mortality, meaning, and creativity. She discusses how constraints enhance artistic flow and shares her journey creating an Almanac of Divination for her 40th birthday. The transformative power of creativity in dealing with psychological struggles is explored, along with the idea of 'unselfing' and reconnecting with nature. Maria's thoughts challenge us to reflect on the human experience and our shared connection through art.

Join me on BLBD this week, for a gorgeous conversation with Diane Button. Author of several books, Diane’s latest is with Maria Shriver’s imprint, The Open Field, an imprint of Penguin Life. With this work, she turns towards the stories and wisdom of her clients and shares just what the title says: What Matters Most: Lessons the Dying Teach Us about Living. We share some of the experiences in the book, talk about why these stories make a difference, and get Diane’s perspective on what thinking about mortality brings to our lives.

Jody Gelb has written a deeply moving memoir about the life and loss of her daughter. Brain damaged at birth, life with Lueza is as complex as you imagine it to be. Jody captures and condenses details of her experience through the years, and ultimately puts them together into what she calls a micro memoir. Wondering if these short chapters were “right,” Jody says, “At some point I thought, Can it just be what it is? Can this be my way of telling a story? This is the way it is. Can it be this?” She May Be Lying Down, But She May Be Very Happy is a brief, moving book about a brief, moving life – with large moving lessons for all of us about life and love.

This week’s podcast is especially close to my heart. In the spring of 2025, my family said goodbye to our beloved 16-year-old dog, Kaya. Sarah and I explore the many complex decisions that arise around the death of our cherished animal companions. With her years of experience and compassionate perspective, Sarah and I talk through the importance of acknowledging pet loss and holding the both/and. As she says, “There is beauty available, even in the heartbreak… Paradox is the only basket large enough to hold the truth.”https://sacreddeathcare.com/

Director Scott Kirschenbaum joins me to discuss the powerful documentary, The Last Ecstatic Days, and the transformative journey of making this film. Drawn by a long-standing connection to Dr. Aditi Sethi and the story of Ethan Sisser, Scott traveled from California to North Carolina to document Ethan’s final days. The result is a deeply moving, life-affirming film that honors Ethan’s wish to share his experience with the world. Scott finds himself deeply moved by the way in which Ethan was cared for, and he tells me, “We need to see community death care be a part of the fabric of how we engage with our neighbors. It’s imperative now.” What does that mean? How did Ethan’s experience shape that thinking? And where can you see this film? Coming on PBS in August 2025 and available on streaming platforms everywhere.