Best Life Best Death

This week, Dr. Uslander and I dive into the often-overlooked transition from hospital to home. How can that shift go more smoothly? What does it really take to understand a discharge summary? And how can families prepare for a period that is so often confusing, rushed, and chaotic? Unfortunately, the current U.S. medical system seems primarily designed to prioritize profit, increase efficiency, and reduce liability. As a result, far more responsibility lands on patients, families and caregivers. We are left to decipher medical instructions, identify gaps in care, ask for the right resources, and advocate for ourselves and our loved ones at exactly the time when we may feel least able to do so. This week’s conversation on BLBD explores ways to navigate this transition with more clarity and confidence. Visit: https://empoweredendings.comFor more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

Starting in her twenties—and quickly shaped by an experience of profound love and loss—Lauren Carroll has devoted her life to the funeral profession and the wider end-of-life field. In guiding people through loss and grief, she’s found that creativity can offer the action we instinctively seek. Whether you set up an altar, create a collage, connect with nature, make space to remember, dance, shout, sing, or write… we crave actions that help move and shape our grief. And when creativity is paired with community, it creates a space—both within and around us—where loss can soften, even if just a little. At one point in our conversation, I read a line from The Art of Grieving: How the Arts and Art Making Help Us Grieve and Live Our Best Lives by Sheila Collins: “To what life is this loss calling us?” (Listen in for the full, beautiful story behind that question.) www.lamort.orgFor more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠.Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

Here with the holiday of Thanksgiving in the US in 2025, join us for a chat about Rhea’s experience as a Chaplain, and the idea of finding a bit of slower “turtle time” when we need it. Rhea leads us in a guided meditation in which we can rest, welcome all of ourselves, and let it allll jussst beeee. She guides us to make friends with the breath as we gently relax and follow her voice. Whether you are a caregiver, harried cook, newly bereaved, with people or solo, celebrating or not excited about the upcoming holidays…this episode invites you into a world of stillness that is always close by.For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

More from author, cancer survivor and psychospiritual specialist David Maginley! Building on our conversation from last week, David and I continue to explore the impact of Medical Assistance in Dying in Canada. As he says, “This goes far beyond the hospital bed and goes to the heart of our culture.” I would agree – MAiD is huge topic for our time. I certainly don’t have answers, but wow did I enjoy the depth of these conversations and David’s book Early Exits: Spirituality, Mortality, and Meaning in an Age of Medical Assistance in Dying. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

Ready for a deep dive? You can’t get much deeper than asking: What is the purpose of death? This episode is about Medical Assistance in Dying, yes, but that is only the avenue in for a next-level discussion. What are the psycho-spiritual dynamics around death? What does it mean that the ego dissolves? How does consciousness expand at the end of life? As a Chaplain, cancer survivor, and someone who has worked in palliative care for over 25 years, David Maginley has much to say. And I am – and hopefully you will be – an eager listener.For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

This episode is chock-full of important information about a topic that affects so many. What is dementia? What symptoms might it include? Why does it matter to test for dementia? What is a “dementia advance directive”? What are the needs of caregivers? How can support groups help? Jessica Empeño is the National Director of Clinical Engagement & Education for the nonprofit organization called Compassion and Choices. If you aren’t familiar with this key organization, search them up today. Their indispensable and free downloadable workbook on this subject is called the “Dementia Values and Priorities Tool.” Books we mention include: The 36 Hour Day; Care Boss; and The Best Friends Approach to Dementia Care.For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠.Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

Do you believe in the paranormal, the mysterious, the supernatural, the extra-ordinary? Whether you are a believer or not, I think you’ll enjoy this week’s extended BLBD episode with storyteller Orion Couling. Get ready for a ghost story, a wondrous story, and ruminations about architecture, culture, and history – not to mention a spontaneous reading of a monologue from Midnight Mass about what happens when we die.For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

One of Barbara Karnes’ recent publications is a booklet on food at the end of life. She believes that more education is needed in this area, as families often worry when people who are nearing the end of life from disease or frailty lose interest in food. Barbara gently educates that food is “the gas that we put in our car to make it go.” And when the car is no longer working, it no longer needs gas in the same way. What do we need instead? Love, connection, community, care. Barbara reminds us that at this stage the tasks are more spiritual: “What have I done? What do I think life is about? The spiritual component at this time is about coming to terms with the sacredness of being and the life that the individual has led." That's a lot of healing, and it's not about food. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

Ahh, denial. We all have it at times. How does denial play a role at the end of life? As BK says, “We’re a death-denying society, and we carry this denial inside on a level that I don’t know that we’re even aware of.” Combine that denial with the fact that caring for someone at the end of life is different than caring for someone who’s going to get better. Where can we find healing when the body can no longer be healed? When we’ve done the best we can, but we can’t fix the physical body, how do we have some quality time? And, why do people hold on at the end? This excellent conversation with Barbara Karnes, RN, explores denial, letting go, caregiving, finding meaning, and holding on. For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at ⁠⁠www.bestlifebestdeath.com⁠⁠Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at:Facebook: ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath⁠⁠

When Atul Gawande - surgeon, physician, son of a surgeon -  wrote Being Mortal in 2014, I wonder if he knew what staying power it would have. This timeless book captures many of the challenges we face in the US and other countries around aging, decline, disease, the medical system, and yes, ultimately death. Listen to this episode to hear a few compelling passages from the book about the importance of conversation and what a difference a little knowledge can make. (No, it’s not Dr Gawande reading, just me.)