WANTcast: The Women Against Negative Talk Podcast

So, you’re probably wondering about that title, “your vulva is a snowflake,” and the fact that today’s episode had the word “sex” in the title. You might even be thinking, oh this episode isn’t for me, I’m not in a relationship – or, I AM in a relationship and it’s a healthy relationship – or, I’m not looking for sex advice right now – or whatever might be coming into your brain because this episode has “sex” in the title. I want to make this clear – yes, we talk about the act of sex a little, but this episode is not about intercourse or partnership. Like, at all. This is, I mean, maybe one of the most all-inclusive, body-positive conversations I know I’ve ever had. And probably, you too. Anne Hodder is a Certified sex educator, sex toy expert, and sex-positive PR & marketing pro at Hodder Media. She’s also been a friend of mine for about….5 years now?...I met her at the gym, in a spin class, and since then she has just been such a thoughtful, wise, and supportive presence in my life. I knew that when the time was right, I needed to have her on the pod. And today, more than ever, seems like the moment to talk as candidly, honestly, graphically, and altruistically about sex, sexuality, trauma, consent, desire, and body positivity as we do here in Episode 16. So when you hear “sex educator,” if youre like me, you probably think about your health teacher in middle school and that one unit they did on basically the how tos of sex and our bodies. Talking to Anne, I learned it’s, so, SO much more than that. And while most of us get the birds and the bees talk or maybe get that year or two of classes in school, it’s NOT enough. What Anne does isn’t just talking about intercourse – it’s about owning your body, your decisions, your emotions, and making empowered choices. Yes, sometimes in the bedroom – but a lot of what she talks about doesn’t even have to do with going between the sheets. In this episode, we talk about shame, what we get wrong about sexual trauma – or at least what I did – and how MUCH that explains when it comes to the way we navigate our relationships and sexuality, her experiences with talking to high schoolers vs. adults, Anne’s journey into the sex journalism and then sex education world, judgement, dealing with embarassment, body hangups, sex positivity, body positivity, and why no emotion is mutually exclusive. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I came to a realization while listening back to this recording: Ann says "There are things we can and cannot say to people under 18. The thing we need to remember when talking with high school kids is that developmentally they're in a totally different place." And it donned on me that most of our FORMAL, ACTUAL SEX ED ends in high school health class. Which means that, for most of us, the education ends before we're actually experiencing the majority of our mature sexual life. The education ends - and the speculation begins. No wonder sex, sexuality, and everything even closely related seems like such a mystery - the information we have was given to us based on what we were actually able to process at the time! When we were kids! The rules around sex ed are so varied from region to region - I mean, I had "human development class" every single year from kindergarten to sixth grade, talking about everything from dating to kissing to drugs to yes, how babies are made. And then I got to middle school, and I distinctly remember we talked about sex in 7th grade. And then nothing in 8th, then barely anything in 9th, and that was it. In 9th grade, I was 14 years old. I was really lucky to have incredibly open-minded and candid parents, especially a mom I could talk to or ask anything. But I know most young women aren't as lucky growing up. Even with her guidance, I was still being handed a set of experiences and opinions - nothing from anyone actually trained to guide me through things from an educational non-parental perspective. So it makes sense to me that sex and sexuality are most commonly surrounded by shame, mystery, rebellion, etc. And moreOVER!, we only see sex portrayed a certain way in the media - USUALLY heterosexual, usually cisgender, and USUALLY two young, pristine-looking people. Very little body diversity, age diversity, gender diversity... that's why shows like sex and the city and girls were and are so groundbreaking. This should go without saying, but this episode IS for mature audiences – we swear a bit, we talk not GRAPHICALLY in a vulgar way but in an anatomical way, and while Anne was cracking me up throughout the entire episode, it’s definitely not a set of subjects to be taken lightly. If you’re not into it, cool, or if you’re, I don’t know, my grandma listening (and she does listen) and you don’t really want to hear your granddaughter talking about this, that’s cool too! But on the flipside, I would say that this is an episode that should DEFINITELY be shared with anyone in your life who is open to listening because as we discuss on the episode, we live in a culture that dodges these important topics way too often and to our detriment.

Something I'm realizing now more than EVER is the power of community. So it's only fitting that today's episode is with community builder extraordinaire Audrey Bellis.  Audrey is a FORCE OF NATURE. A first-generation Latina, she's is shaping the future of Los Angeles, and specifically, Downtown LA by fostering the startup and tech communities as a founder of StartupDTLA and as a cofounder ofGRID110. Not only that, she’s linking creative female entrepreneurs as the founder of Worthy Women. Mayor Garcetti's office honored her as 1 of 5 "Inspiring Latinas of LA" and TechOutLA named her "a key player in the Eastside/DTLA tech movement." If there's anyone who knows how to create community and make a collective impact as visionary women in the world, it's this stunner.  In this episode, we dive deep into knowing your body and healing past trauma, why owning your worth is so important in everything from business to friendships, Audrey’s crazy medical complications that gave her a huge wake up call – and her sort of Eat Pray Love experience that helped facilitate that, and why it’s so important that we’re never, ever, ever done with the work, even if we think we’ve reached success or that we know it all. We also talk building community, making friends as an adult, finding the people who we connect with on the deepest levels, which can be hard sometimes as an adult, and so much more. HEADS UP: this episode contains graphic descriptions of Audrey's health scare. So if you're squeamish, you might want to skip over the part about 15 or so mins in where she's talking about the bathtub. We don't shy away from anything here on WANT - it's so important to me that these podcasts tell unedited, unglossy stories (because life is unedited and unglossy). But you've been warned ;)

If you follow me on Instagram or read WANT often, you know I'm a sucker for a good fitness experience. And it's not because I'm super passionate about how to do a lunge or because of any sort of caloric burn: just like anything else worthwhile, fitness, to me, is all about how it makes you feel. Today’s guest is a long time in the making (we may or may not have tried to record this 7xs, nbd), someone whose journey I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing over the last five years: Kirsten Potenza, the co-founder of POUND. POUND is a workout unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced - IF YOUR IDEA of a workout looks more like head-banging at a rock concert than logging miles on a treadmill, then POUND may just be your fitness spirit animal. The concept behind this killer workout is simple yet genius: a full-body cardio jam session using weighted Ripstix to drum to the music for 45 crazy minutes. I live for music, so when I was first introduced to POUND, and Kirsten, I felt like I’d found a workout meant for me. The POUND story was born from struggle and a journey to self-realization that involved finding out what was missing for both Kirsten and co-founder Cristina. When they met, they were both living in extremes - Kirsten, in particular, was a work-a-holic and a play-a-holic with zero sense of balance. After realizing there was a shift that needed to be made, POUND and the POUND philosophy was born: life can’t be fully enjoyed without balance and nurturing, and if you give up on self-improvement, you give up on yourself. There is always something you can do, big or small, to be the you YOU know you're meant to be. In this episode we talk Kirsten’s past with negativity and her catalyst for a new way of thinking, going from feeling completely alone to being a community builder extraordinaire, why all "fitspiration" is NOT created equal, and the immense value in going slow in whatever you feel passionate about. I’m thrilled to have her on the WANTcast and to be able to introduce you to her. WANT Kirsten. SHOW NOTES: POUND - website Instagram Facebook Twitter Kirsten's Instagram Highway To Well Emotional Intelligence Mind Of A Chef Like this episode? Shoot me a comment below, leave a review on iTunes (the more reviews, the more Kirsten’s awesomeness is spread), share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast, #womenagainstnegativetalk, and/or #WANTyourself!

Jay Pryor is a life coach, speaker, corporate trainer, and author who inspires people to harness their power to create the lives of their dreams. He works exclusively with women, and among other reasons, has a great reason why: he used to be one.   Jay was born as a female and transitioned to male in 2001 when he was in his 30s. The second I heard Jay's story and mission, I knew I had to get him on the WANTcast. You hopefully know I don't play favorites, but honestly, I've been telling everyone I know that this podcast is coming up, even the people who don't normally listen to podcasts - that's how important I think this episode is.    In this episode we talk in detail about Jay's experience transitioning, his reality show stint, and having a need to do more to help a cause without even knowing what that help looks like. We also talk about why Jay chooses to work specifically with women, being "hijacked" and how to get your brain back on track, the huge things holding women back, and so, so much more. There's been a lot of press right now around the North Carolina restroom laws, which had not been passed yet when we scheduled this interview, but I'm so glad that Jay and I got a chance to talk about that, too.   This episode took me a while to edit, and not because I edited a lot of it. Just the opposite actually – I barely edited anything. But I found myself transfixed by it and having to go back because I wasn't in editor mode I was in listener mode. That's how good Jay is. WANT Jay. Show Notes: Website Facebook Twitter YouTube Lean Inside It Gets Better Project DCATS Jay on Dance Moms I Am Cait segment Laverne CoxStone Butch Blues North Carolina restroom laws Kroger being awesomeDaniel Golman's Emotional Intelligence Being Boss podcast w/ Jay WANTyourself: An Afternoon Of Moving Forward Fearlessly - BUY TIX HERE

I am an emotional sponge. I walk into a room and can instantly feel whether people are relaxed or tense. I can speak two words to you and feel what’s going on. And you can bet yer bottom dollar that I internalize whatever energy is swirling around me. For the longest time, I felt like an outsider – and truly weirded out by the fact that things as small as people laying on their car horns in rush-hour traffic would leave me shaken for a good few minutes. And then I found out that not only was I not alone, but that I could work with what I’ve got – and it was my greatest asset in this world. If you’ve been reading and listening for a while, it *probably* doesn’t come as a surprise to you that I’m into personality tests, personality indicators, and the psychology behind personality types. I find any chance to learn more about the inner workings of others, and myself, absolutely fascinating. About 6 years ago, I stumbled upon the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (here’s one you can take forfree!), took the test, and the results completely blew my mind. All this time, when I had been thinking “Oh, I’m so different. Oh I don’t fit in,” berating myself for feeling awkward in certain situations while in others I’d completely own it, or the big understanding gap there seemed to be between myself and certain people, or why I’d get into the same ruts over and over…now EVERYTHING started to make sense. THEN I read a book that was recommended to me called the Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. I think I cried when I read it the first time through. Because again, this was so much of who I was – that I was either trying to fight against or was struggling to understand/make others understand – I had just never had words to describe it. Introvert, Dear is the #1 website and community dedicated to introverted personality types AND HSPs. This site is followed by literally hundreds of thousands, the community is SO strong, and it’s a resource that’s really helped me when it comes to not just understanding why I am the way I am, but communicating who I am to others (and understanding THEM better, too). Introvert Dear is the brainchild of Jenn Granneman, a teacher, writer, introvert expert, and fellow INFJ/HSP. So basically, I knew I had to have her on the podcast (especially since I get asked so often what the heck these acronyms even mean). Here’s the deal, in a nutshell: Myers Briggs personality types are broken down into four components – introverted vs extroverted, intuitive vs sensing, thinking vs feeling, and perceiving vs judging. A lot of people will just focus on the introvert/extrovert part of the equation, but Myers Briggs, and Jenn’s site, dissects the fine nuance between each specific combination.) There’s a big theme in this episode of the number one lesson every introvert (and HSP) needs to learn in order to thrive. Even if you’re not either, take a listen – we’ve all got a little bit of introvert in us, and WAY more of us are HSPs than we realize, we just never talk about it. At the best, you’ll learn about yourself. At the very least, you’ll definitely learn about someone you care about. Ready? WANT JENN. Show Notes: Introvert, Dear Facebook Twitter Pinterest Google+ TumblrTake the personality type test Introvert Dreams coloring book Quiet by Susan Cain The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine AronQuiet Revolution Space2Live Introvertology  Introvert Spring Like this episode? Shoot me a comment below, leave a review on iTunes (the more reviews, the more Jenn’s awesomeness is spread), share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it onInstagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast, #womenagainstnegativetalk, and/or #WANTyourself!

She had me at "hello." And by "hello"...I mean lip balm. Today’s episode is with Adina Grigore, who, if you DON’T know, you’re going to WANT to know after we’re through here. Adina is the founder of S.W. Basics, one of my absolute FAVORITE all natural skincare lines – and the author of Skin Cleanse: The Simple, all-natural Program for Clean, Calm, Happy Skin.So, funny thing about me and Adina – I actually fell in love with her before I even met her, and what’s even weirder is that it wasn’t through social media or a podcast – it was because at my former editorial job, someone sent us a pack of her lip balms. You know how sometimes you’ll see someone from afar and think, I need to be friends with this woman? That’s how I felt when I saw the lip balms. I know. What a weirdo, right? But here's the thing: there was something so special and unique about the S.W. Basics brand that felt so personal, so down to earth, I knew that could only come from this badass woman founder who was steering the ship. This podcast is actually the very first time we talked, and I think you’ll be able to hear it, she just has this way of making you feel so at ease and like you’ve known her forever. It's no wonder she's in the business of making people feel good in the skin they're in.In this episode we talk about the correlation between skin and body image, the trajectory that took her from dancing at The Ailey School to having a skincare line that's in Target stores nationwide, dealing with skin issues as an adult and the stigma that surrounds it, and why Adina is so passionate about not doing this ONE specific thing that basically everyone does in order to grow their business (hint: it's kind of like Kanye West's behavior).She also gets me being more of a Chatty Cathy than usual, but I couldn't help myself - she's one of those infectiously passionate and all around rad people you could talk to forever. (But I did you a favor and kept "forever" to under an hour.) Let's do this thang!Like this episode? Shoot me a comment below, leave a review on iTunes (the more reviews, the more Adina’s awesomeness is spread), share it on Facebook, tweet it out on Twitter, or post it on Instagram. Be sure to use the hashtags #WANTcast, #womenagainstnegativetalk, and/or #WANTyourself! Show Notes:InstagramTwitterS.W. Basics-Instagram-Facebook-TwitterS.W. Basics makeup removerSkin CleanseThe Ailey SchoolAdina's blog post - "You're Really Hot. No, Really."Womens Leadership ConferenceWANTcast on Youtube!

Hold the phone. Stop the presses. We are, officially, IN THE DOUBLE DIGITS. When you’re creating one new pod every three weeks, getting to double digits feels like forever – so, to me, this is a huge deal (we’re heading towards the 6-month mark!). Especially because of this one little not-so-secret: I was scared out of my mind to start this podcast. I had a smidge of sound editing experience under my belt, had NO clue how to record with someone over Skype, and forget about even getting the tech stuff up and running. This podcast has taught me to be ballsy and just make things happen – because once you’re ballsy a few times in a row, it starts to get easier and easier.I will say, it’s a lot easier to be ballsy when you’ve got people in your corner. And today’s guest is a super special one, because she has been in WANT’s corner since literally the very first email conversation we had (she was actually the person who told me, “You HAVE TO START A PODCAST” and never let me forget she was waiting for it). She’s now become a dear friend of mine, a woman I admire endlessly – and, well, you probably already listen to her podcast religiously. Jessica Murnane is the wellness Wonder Woman behind JessicaMurnane.com, host of the wildly popular One Part Podcast, and, the MOST exciting, author of a soon-to-be released full-on plant-based cookbook with Harper-Wave in 2017! If Jessica looks familiar, it might be because she’s been on WANT before. After being diagnosed with Endometriosis and receiving a pretty crazy ultimatum from her doctors, Jessica decided to try overhauling her diet to see if she could heal herself naturally. Fast forward to today, and Jessica now has zero of those debilitating endometriosis symptoms and follows a full-on plant based diet. In this episode we talk about the HUGE thing on Jessica’s mind lately, something I don’t think we talk about nearly enough in our culture if even at all: letting go of the past and what that actually looks and feels like in the body. We also talk endo, mendo (yup), listening fiercely to your body, and Jessica’s refreshingly honest take on motherhood. (This episode also contains a little bit of quasi-gangsta-rap-language, so if you’re sensitive to that, you’ll be getting fair warning beforehand.)Show Notes:JessicaMurnane.comOne Part PodcastJessica on WANT (“Positivity is…”)FacebookTwitterInstagramSnapchat: @JessicaMurnaneEndometriosisEndo in men0 to 100/The Catch Up – DrakeOn Never Wanting To Be Pregnant (from jessicamurnane.com)Jessica’s octopus platesAnd just for fun: Watch Drake Perform At A Bar Mitzvah

Episode NINE!Today's guest is Komal Minhas: an Indo-Canadian film producer, writer, and investor. She has been deeply committed to improving the lives of women and girls globally, and champions this work with her continued investments and work in film and storytelling through her company KoMedia Inc. Most recently, Komal's been working as producer and co-founder of Dream, Girl.Dream, Girl tells the inspiring stories of female entrepreneurs and CEOs in order to empower the next generation of girl bosses to dream bigger. The Dream, Girl movement was brought to life by director Erin Bagwell, and close to 2,000 backers on Kickstarter, with $100k pledged. This is the kind of documentary we SO NEED right now.The film is set to release in the spring of 2016, but the amount of momentum behind this film right now is absolutely extraordinary. To some people it might make more sense to run this closer to the film, but I wanted to give you a first look so you can get on the action before it hits big and trust me, IT WILL HIT BIG. Komal is taking the Dream, Girl movement and its feminist message global to empower more women and girls to dream big in business, media, and beyond. In this episode, we talk about the sort of feminist renaissance we’re having at the moment and why this point in time matters, going big and making your dream your reality, the health challenge Komal’s been facing in the mist of producing this dream project and how to take care of yourself when things get tough, mentorship, being ballsy – and maybe my favorite part of this episode, making friends as an adult and the power of female friendships.She is beautiful, inside and out, and even though this was literally our VERY first time talking, I already feel like I have a new friend. And I feel like that’s part of Komal’s magic – her magnetism, enthusiasm, and inclusive personality combined with this drive you can just feel.

Today’s guest is the PERFECT way to ring in 2016. And yes, it’s a dude. Since the beginning, I’ve wanted to include MEN in the WANT gameplan, because I truly believe that if we’re going to make a dent when it comes to negative self talk, men need to be a part of the conversation, too. So, now, once a quarter (which is every 3 months or so), I’m going to be featuring a WANT MAN on the pod; a person I feel truly embodies the message of WANT and has a unique story of moving forward fearlessly to offer up. Our first WANTman is Benjamin Mathes. Ben is the founder of Urban Confessional: A Free Listening Project. Started as a way to challenge conventional actor training, Urban Confessional is a community of artists who believe people should be heard.  They stand on street corners all over the world with signs that say "Free Listening" - and you can imagine what happens next.  Their work has been featured in academic and commercial publications, blogs, on radio and television, and recently in a Kleenex campaign I’ll put in the post on the site. Ben has been an actor for over 20 years on film, television, and stage, and he has worked with artists such as Clint Eastwood, Bradley Cooper, Brian Grazer and more. He serves as Head of Production for Seine Pictures, a film finance and production company in Hollywood, overseeing the creative development and production of each film.  As a teacher, he has been on faculty or taught workshops at universities all over the world, and his acting studio, Crash Acting, inspires a guerrilla approach to acting driven by the idea that service is the context for artistic greatness. As an executive coach, Ben draws upon his 15 years of creative development, artistic leadership, and social entrepreneurship to help senior executives, management, and sales teams increase their creative capital in business leadership and team building, individual productivity, and presentation acumen.  He’s also the author of two books detailing and investigating the creative process: Thought Lozenges for Artists, and CRASH, Unstuck Yourself, a guided journal designed to directly combat the blocks holding us from our creative potential.  In this episode, we dive super deep. We talk hitting rock bottom and the lessons that come from there, how to make whatever work you do in this world leave a legacy, judgement and being judged, and how to reach a place of self-forgiveness. I can’t stress this enough- this episode is really, truly, for everyone. At the end of the episode, Ben and I are going to give you a challenge, so be sure to listen to the whole deal and join on in. Without further ado, the first WANT man, the brilliant Ben Mathes. 

This is a !!special!! edition of the WANTcast: The Women Against Negative Talk podcast, episode seven. I’m going to keep this intro short and sweet: You'll notice the timing is off on this one. This is actually an extra episode. Last WANTcast I asked you all if you’d like an extra episode before the new year and the typical three-week mark, and the answer was a resounding YES. So, here you go!What I decided to do is call up a friend of mine, actress and activist Sascha Alexander, who’s actually been on WANT before, and just see where the conversation took us. Which, turns out, always leads to the best conversations.We end up talking about upper limits, success hangups, pole dancing, empowerment, how to define yourself, endings, beginnings, what it’s like to go viral - and I end up revealing some news on here that I wasn’t really planning on. Lots of laughing, lots of deep talk…everything I love most. Endings and beginnings. I hope you all know how much I love you for listening and for joining me on this journey this year. It has been indescribable. Next year is bringing a lot of newness - think offline events, tons of really exciting WANTcast guests, and a couple things I can’t quite talk about yet - so be sure to go to the site and subscribe to weekly emails so you stay in the know. Let’s get down to it. Here’s the most off the fly WANTcast yet :)