FamilyLife Blended® Podcast

Ron Deal and Gayla Grace answer questions from Blended & Blessed, such as: how do I manage tug of war feelings between my spouse and my children; how do I talk to my teenager who doesn't want me to remarry after his dad died; what are common ghosts of marriage past and how do we cope with them, how do we effectively place limits on screen time and hold the boundaries in our home when the other home has no limits; how do I calm my heart as a stepmom when my adult stepchild is rejecting me and what steps can I take to help, and many more. Show Notes and Resources Learn about Blended & Blessed  Get the Complete Blended & Blessed Digital All-Access Pass  Join us at the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry  Get a copy of The Mindful Marriage wherever you get books.  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

Blake Hudspeth grew up in multiple stepfamilies as a result of death & divorce and described his family to Ron Deal as pieced together. As a result, he struggled with complicated emotions and unresolved wounds well into adulthood.  Now, Hudspeth wants to help others who’ve grown up in complex blended family dynamics learn how to reconcile a difficult upbringing with hope for the future. He understands how to grieve a family he wanted but didn't have and the importance of forgiving his parents for their part in the instability of his upbringing, which created distrust and uncertainty for him. He advises parents that one of the most important pieces in helping their kids who are growing up blended is simply acknowledging the pain they are carrying. Show Notes and Resources Make plans to join us at the Summit on Stepfamily ministry in October  Send a donation to FamilyLife Blended  Get a copy of The Smart Stepfamily  Access for leaders to the tip sheet on ministering to students  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

Guidance and hope for blending families can be found in stories from scripture. Ron Deal talks with Laura Petherbridge about her latest book, Stepfamilies of the Bible: Timeless Wisdom for Blended Families. Through true stories of God's heroes from stepfamilies of biblical times, Petherbridge offers practical tools to build unity, overcome complexity, foster love, and create lasting relationships for today's blended families. Through families such as David's, a man after God's own heart, and Joseph's, the favored son of Jacob, we learn how God can use sin done to us and sin done by us for His glory, and redeem relationships, regardless of how messy and broken they are. Show Notes and Resources Summit on Stepfamily Ministry Information  Learn about Laura Petherbridge and Stepfamilies of The Bible  Send a gift to help the FamilyLife Blended team  Get a copy of The Smart Stepmom  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

Divorce and the death of a spouse naturally bring grief. But we don't always recognize the grief our kids also carry after walking through hard circumstances. Ron Deal talks with Stanley & Mryna Brown on how they navigated grief when they married. Stanley had lost his first wife to cancer, later remarried briefly, then divorced. Myrna had also been through a divorce and was a single mom for ten years before marrying Stanley. They both had two children who struggled with their own grief and loss. Through counseling, Stanley and Myrna began to understand more about their children’s grief and how to help them work through the unique grief each of them carried, allowing relationship building within the family to more easily develop. Show Notes and Resources Watch Myrna's encouraging videos for your family!  Watch the Griffies' story  Learn about the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry  Shop for books like In Their Shoes and The Smart Stepfamily  Donate to FamilyLife Blended  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

Every blended family navigates common stages on their way to finding familyness. It's not uncommon to experience the questioning stage, where you begin to doubt if you've made the right decision about your newly blended family, and you take a detour or two as you navigate your circumstances. Or perhaps you get stuck along the way as you walk through a crisis together. And what about the rewards stage? Wondering if you’ll ever get to that one? Gayla Grace shares the six stages of stepfamily development, how to navigate each stage well, and what it takes to build loving, connected relationships along the way. Show Notes and Resources Join us on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise!  Watch Women and Blended Families  Get details for The Summit on Stepfamily Ministry  Learn more about Gayla  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

Good co-parenting with a former spouse helps kids navigate life in two homes with greater ease. Ron Deal's conversation with Jay and Tammy Daughtry teaches us how to be parental partners, not angry associates, as we compartmentalize the pain from divorce and manage co-parenting through a businesslike relationship. They emphasized the importance of congenial handoffs during the parental exchange, biological time spent with biological parents/kids, recognizing unrealistic expectations of former spouse relationships, reframing sensitive days on the calendar to minimize emotional landmines, and understanding two dynamics often at play:Bio fog—when a deep connection between biological parents and kids creates fog with the parent, who then often tolerates misbehavior.Step vision—when an objective stepparent quickly identifies shortfalls in stepchildren and often communicates them harshly. Show Notes and Resources Learn about the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry  Find a qualified counselor  Check out Jay & Tammy's resources  Send a tax deductible gift  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

Dr. John Townsend defines four essential character traits that individuals need to navigate life's challenges and demands. He shares with Ron Deal that these components are required for stronger relationships. We can help our children and stepchildren develop them and be resilient kids. 1) Attachment: the ability to trust and be vulnerable with others 2) Separation: the ability to have your own voice, which includes healthy boundary-setting 3) Integration: navigating both the positive and negative realities of life 4) Adulthood: the capacity to take responsibility, make sound decisions, and live a purposeful life. Show Notes and Resources Access Dr. Townsend's TPRAT and other resources  Search on and/or post to the blended ministry map  Give a gift to support blended families  Ron's trainings and events  List of Recognized Providers  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

The stepmom-stepdaughter relationship often includes competing loyalties and confusing dynamics and can be the hardest relationship to navigate when blending a family. Ron Deal talks with stepmom Jessica Pickens and her bonus daughter, Jayla, about their ongoing struggles, cutting through tension, which began early and continued for years, and how they finally built a loving, trusting relationship with one another. Jayla explains how her position as a “Daddy’s girl” and her relationship with her own mother impacted her desire for a bonus mom. She didn’t respond well to Jessica’s nurturing, and tension escalated as she got older. In time, Jessica began to understand the complexity of their relationship, change her expectations, and parent Jayla differently. Slowly, their relationship moved toward understanding and love toward one another. Show Notes and Resources New To Our Community? Here's a gift for you!  Watch Women & Blended Families on YouTube  Learn about Jessica and Blended Family Matters and their podcast  Jessica and Jayla's podcast with Ron.  Give a tax-deductible gift.  Check out Ron's events.  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

Tim and Olivia Smith brought six kids into their blended family in 1997. In their conversation with Ron Deal, they share the joys and challenges of melding together two families, how to encourage relationship building between siblings, and how stepparents can move from a place of isolation to a place of belonging in a stepfamily. Tim’s daughter, Christie, joins the conversation with her perspective as a teenager from the early years of their blended family. Although the stepmom—stepdaughter relationship is often the hardest to connect, Christie shares how Olivia’s small actions of moving toward her and allowing her to engage at her own pace created a loving, long-lasting relationship that she treasures today as an adult.  Show Notes and Resources Get a copy of The Mindful Marriage.  Get your copy of Blending-100 Day Guide for Step-Parents.  Learn about Blended Not Broken  Get our monthly newsletter  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy

Robert and Jennie Lord both grew up in blended families. They share their stories with Ron Deal about the residue left behind from the maze of parental divorce, multiple stepparents, challenges in relationship building, unwanted transitions, and ongoing instability. They’ve sought healing from those experiences and now want to share what they’ve learned with others. Married with a family of their own, they are committed to their marriage and want to provide an upbringing for their children that is vastly different than what they experienced. They teach and model a life built on faith and seek to provide stability and build strong bonds with their children. Show Notes and Resources Get the Blended & Blesses All-Access Digital Pass  Blended resources for you!  Learn more about Chosen and the work that Jenni does.  Get a copy of The Mindful Marriage.  Support FamilyLife Blended with a gift.  See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLife’s Privacy Policy