
Football Cliches
Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker.Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN
Latest episodes

Nov 26, 2024 • 45min
5.54 seconds of away-goal confusion, footballers in US T-junctions and the official Keys & Gray app
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A new world record for away fans slowly realising their team has scored, Mark Schwarzer ties himself in chronological knots, Martin Keown lavishes himself with the highest footballing praise, famously unfriendly footballers’ names in American T-junctions and Keys & Gray’s ill-fated 2011 bid to break into the app market.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive Manchester City defeats it would take for Pep Guardiola to be sacked.Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsGet 10% off the Football Cliches merchandise range for Black Friday at formysins.shopVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nov 21, 2024 • 1h 30min
The Bosman legacy, optimum camera angles & double saves, with Luke Moore
The pod welcomes Football Ramble podcast supremo Luke Moore for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Among Luke's selections are the early signs of a game turning into a comprehensive thrashing, the physical attributes of a classic double save, a controversial choice for the best camera angle for a penalty, the highly unnecessary admin-theatre of both teams setting up for a free kick, the demise of calling free transfers "a Bosman" and people whose footballing enthusiasm extends no further than their own team.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel - featuring returning legend Doc Brown - react to a Paraguayan football take on "hang it in the Louvre!", reflect on the quirks of Sky's mid-2000s PlayerCam innovation and unanimously condemn the word "thunderbastard".Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsThe Football Cliches merchandise range is available here: formysins.shopVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nov 19, 2024 • 39min
59 consecutive hat-tricks, yo-yo countries and the first-ever usage of "tippy-tappy football”
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's League B promotion glory, a listener solves last week's Consecutive Hat-Tricks Career Pathway puzzle, Talksport mulls over what constitutes a "young young" player, some novel use of "aplomb" at the darts, Trevor Brooking's 1982 Desert Island Discs, the surprising origins of "tippy-tappy football" and some strange alleged behaviour from an ex-Barclaysman.Meanwhile, the panel gauge the lowest level a referee could have played at to satisfy the "never played the game" brigade and wonder if a centre-back can be described as a "hotshot”.Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nov 14, 2024 • 1h 4min
Deodorant ads, Don(ald) Goodman & "The Deeney Guy": Cliches meets Sky Sports commentator Bill Leslie
The pod welcomes commentator Bill Leslie for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Bill and the panel explore stadium architecture quirks, nearby fans taking issue with live commentary observations, the most generic Championship play-offs semi-final lineup possible, the two types of mid-game petering-out, needless away kits ruining the pre-match excitement and pretentious/professional pronunciations of foreign players' names.Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsPlease VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nov 12, 2024 • 38min
xG meets crime dramas & the Sunday League to Premier League hat-trick pathway
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the first-ever mention of xG in a mainstream TV drama, cult Spurs strikers plying their trade in academia, how many historical goals a striker needs to be eligible to be “still banging them in”, the definition of a "sumptuous" goal and much more.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive hat-tricks would take a striker from Sunday League to the Premier LeaguePlease VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nov 7, 2024 • 45min
The Vitality Stadium swing state, Noel Gallagher's co-comms & the "big five" of cheese
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the BBC explains the US electoral system in unexpected football terms, Noel Gallagher's Champions League co-commentary debut, the crucial differences between "busting a gut" and "breaking your neck" to get into the box and a footballer's name shared with a pharmaceutical supplies company.Meanwhile, the panel debate the "big five" of the cheese world and discuss Nick's new book, Who Owns Football?Visit nordpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPNPlease VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nov 5, 2024 • 45min
”Still 0-0, lads!", a man named Hattrick & the mid-2010s throw-in scandal
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a dubious use of the Sunday League staple of "Still 0-0, lads!", some unprecedented Carabao Cup co-commentary self-awareness, Ethiopian bars named after venerable Premier League wide men, absurd match postponements in the 10th tier and Andy Gray's 20-year obsession with teams having defenders on the posts at corners.Meanwhile, the panel wonder which current player could most plausibly play for any of the 20 Premier League clubs and enjoy some sensational data journalism about elite-level throw-ins of the mid-2010s.Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oct 30, 2024 • 45min
Curses vs Hoodoos, journeyman film directors & Keysey's philosophers
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a classic footballers' namesake mix-up, whether a goalkeeper's save in a shootout can "send a team into the next round", how many consecutive defeats a club can be "staring down the barrel" of, journeyman film directors, a glorious Powerleague chant, an unexpected celebrity endorsement for underfloor heating and Keysey's verdict on the Manchester United hotseat.Meanwhile, the panel establish the fundamental footballing differences between a curse and a hoodoo and discuss household objects that they instinctively control like footballs when dropped.Visit nordpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPNAdam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oct 29, 2024 • 44min
Jack Reacher's Villa 5-a-side team, two Andy Townsends & the most darts-looking PL manager
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the post-Ten Hag news cycle begins in earnest, a brief but tantalising moment of doubt over whether Peter Drury said the word "dude" on commentary, the ongoing devaluing of the phrase "captain's goal", too many footballers' names in the new Jack Reacher novel, Barcelona's plucky tweeting, and a strange mix-up involving two Andy Townsends.Meanwhile, the panel discuss which Premier League manager looks the most "darts" and enjoy the performance of a football commentator on a mid-1990s tv quiz show.Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckonsVisit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oct 23, 2024 • 1h 8min
Styling out fake injuries & "How long ref?!": The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Doc Brown)
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Doc Brown to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the fascinating "recovery" routines of players who have faked injury to win a free kick, guessing what co-commentators are saying when the pub TV has the sound off, the superficial mannerisms of a part-time amateur goalkeeper, the precise motivation for asking “How long ref?!” in Sunday League and the dubious importance of always knowing who your team's next opponents are.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some unexpected Premier League commentary in a Jamaican dancehall track and some rare well-researched football small talk in a TV drama.Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPNAdam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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