Demystifying Mental Toughness

David Charlton
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Aug 8, 2025 • 22min

290 Stop Focusing On Results: Developing Life Skills Through Sport

In the second part of a dialog with Parents in Sport founder, Gordon MacLelland, the conversation goes onto discuss the importance of resilience and normalising failure in sports when communicating with children. Such discussions between parents, coaches and children can help kids develop positive coping mechanisms. David and Gordon also touched on the potential risks of early specialisation in sports at a young age, such as burnout, overuse injuries and the potential to drop out from the sport altogether. The benefits of diversifying sports participation and the importance of developing multifaceted kids were also talked about. Key Learning Points: · Seek to focus on long-term development, such as aspects of mental toughness and resilience, rather than just results and outcomes. · Get to know yourself as a parent as well as your child, seeking to improve your self-awareness. · Understand what burnout in sport symptoms are for your children. · Encourage regular check-ins between coaches/organisations and parents to manage expectations. · Explore ways to better support and train coaches and volunteers in sports clubs to have more effective conversations with parents. Connect with Gordon MacLelland Parents In Sport Website Connect with David Charlton Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIN Useful Youth Sport Psychology Resource Youth Sport Motivation Checklist Parental Sport Motivation Checklist Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience For Children Ep289: Gordon MacLelland – How To Support Children To Enjoy A Positive Relationship With Sport Ep288: Duncan O'Brien - How To Overcome Intense Emotions From Football Ep285: Adam Batstone - Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive Ep280: Colm O'Donoghue - How To Help A Young Golfer Who Struggles Playing Strokeplay Ep279: Ger Fitzgerald - How To Help A Young Cricketer Overcome Selection Difficulties Relevant Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience For Children Blog – 5 Ways to Create a Psychological Safe Sporting Environment Blog - 9 Tips for Children from Olympians Blog - 5 Tips for Parents to Help their Children Perform with Confidence Blog – How to Help Young Footballers Find the Zone Blog – How do You Give a Young Golfer Self Confidence Youth Sports Psychology Library – For Parents Stuart Brown PHD – Play: How it shapes the brain, opens the imagination and invigorates the soul Susan Jackson, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi – Flow In Sports
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Aug 1, 2025 • 24min

289 How To Support Children To Enjoy A Positive Relationship With Sport

In episode 289 of Demystifying Mental Toughness, the founder of Parents in Sport, Gordon MacLelland, shared his journey from having a promising sports career, to coaching and teaching to supporting parenting in sports. He emphasized the importance of understanding individual children's motivations when considering their sporting experience. Also highlighted were the challenges of balancing fun and competitive pressures. The conversation underscored the importance of self-awareness as a parent and being an intentional in the love and support that you offer your children, as a parent in sports, whilst accepting that you and your child are human. Additionally, David and Gordon stress the benefits of participating in sports on child's character and mental toughness development, over winning, and the need for realistic expectations. Key Learning Points: · Understand your child's motivations for playing sports and why they do it. · Have regular check-ins with your child to understand how their motivations may change over time. · Avoid asking questions like "Did you win?" or "Were you the best?" and instead focus on character traits with questions such as "When were you brave?" or statements "I noticed how you bounced back positively after your team lost the first goal by the way you were calling for the ball. · Be mindful of the timing and approach when having difficult conversations with your child about their sports performance. · Recognize that success in sports should not be solely defined by performance outcomes, and focus on the wider benefits of participation. Connect with Gordon MacLelland Parents In Sport Website Connect with David Charlton Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIN Useful Youth Sport Psychology Resource Youth Sport Motivation Checklist Parental Sport Motivation Checklist Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience For Children Ep288: Duncan O'Brien - How To Overcome Intense Emotions From Football Ep285: Adam Batstone - Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive Ep280: Colm O'Donoghue - How To Help A Young Golfer Who Struggles Playing Strokeplay Ep279: Ger Fitzgerald - How To Help A Young Cricketer Overcome Selection Difficulties Ep233: David Charlton - How To Help A Young Footballer Overcome Fear Relevant Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience For Children Blog – 5 Ways to Create a Psychological Safe Sporting Environment Blog - 9 Tips for Children from Olympians Blog - 5 Tips for Parents to Help their Children Perform with Confidence Blog – How to Help Young Footballers Find the Zone Blog – How do You Give a Young Golfer Self Confidence Youth Sports Psychology Library – For Parents
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Jul 25, 2025 • 34min

288 How To Overcome Intense Emotions From Football

In a continuation of last week's conversation, David Charlton and Duncan O'Brien discuss the impact of shame on athletes, particularly footballers. Self-esteem, the self-recognition of multiple-selves and self-compassion are also features of the conversation. They go on to discuss the impact of poor performances on an athletes' mood. Solutions to shift perspective are discussed to aid the understanding of sport coaches and parents to support athletes effectively. They also touch on other strong emotions, such as anger and how to harness it. Key Learning Points: · Explore ways to normalise emotions and have open conversations about them. · Developing an openness to learn more about yourself, your athletes or children is vital. · Understanding and connect with the state of being at you best can transform your mindset. · Potential dynamics where an athletic identity can become entangled with self-esteem and confidence resulting in negative mental health implications should be considered. · Athletes should be aware of their own triggers and to have strategies for managing anger effectively. Connect with Duncan O'Brien LinkedIN Connect with David Charlton Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIN Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Ep287: Duncan O'Brien - Is A Blame Culture In Team Sports Helpful For Performance? Ep286: Nathan Sherratt - How To Understand Neurodiversity Better In Football Refereeing Ep285: Adam Batstone - Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive Ep249: Dr Edward Hall – Understanding Workplace Collaboration In Coaching In Team Sports Ep105: Hannah Bromley – Overcoming Psychological Challenges in Professional Women's Football Other Valuable Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Podcasts for Sport Coach Development Cricket Psychology Resources Hockey Psychology Resources Rugby Psychology Resources Soccer Psychology Resources
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Jul 18, 2025 • 25min

287 Is A Blame Culture In Team Sports Helpful For Performance?

David Charlton and Duncan O'Brien discuss the emotional challenges in football, focusing on blame, shame, guilt, and anger in this week's episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness. Duncan, influenced by Brene Brown's work, emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and collaboration in coaching. He highlights the need for coaches to create supportive yet challenging environments, using tools like Clean Language to foster self-awareness and resilience. They explore how emotions like shame can manifest in players, affecting their performance and behaviour. The conversation underscores the significance of coaches communicating effectively and setting clear expectations to help players navigate stress and criticism, ultimately fostering a more supportive and effective coaching dynamic. Key Learning Points: · Explore using clean language techniques in football coaching to help players develop self-awareness. · Encourage players to ask questions of each other rather than giving direct orders or criticism during challenging situations. · Educate coaches and players on the difference between shame and guilt, and how to address feelings of shame in a constructive way. · Mistakes are common in football and pointing the fingers, blaming can lead to guilt, impacting players' confidence and bravery. · Vulnerability is essential to encourage courageous behaviours and collaboration, however it is dependent on the relationship and trust developed between coaches and players. Connect with Duncan O'Brien LinkedIN Connect with David Charlton Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIN Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Ep286: Nathan Sherratt - How To Understand Neurodiversity Better In Football Refereeing Ep285: Adam Batstone - Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive Ep249: Dr Edward Hall – Understanding Workplace Collaboration In Coaching In Team Sports Ep105: Hannah Bromley – Overcoming Psychological Challenges in Professional Women's Football Ep065: Dr Amy Izycky – Encouraging Mentally Healthy Cultures in Sport Other Valuable Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Podcasts for Sport Coach Development Cricket Psychology Resources Hockey Psychology Resources Rugby Psychology Resources Soccer Psychology Resources
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Jul 11, 2025 • 44min

286 How To Understand Neurodiversity Better In Football Refereeing

Today, the conversation delves into the experiences of a neurodiverse referee, referee educator and coach, Nathan Sherratt, the owner of The Third Team. We discuss the challenges faced in education, the workplace, and on the pitch, highlighting the importance of structure and accountability. David and Nathan also emphasise the need for understanding and support, particularly from clubs, organisations and governing bodies such as the FA, to better accommodate neurodivergent individuals in sports. Nathan goes on to share personal strategies for managing sensory challenges and the significance of self-care, including physical activities like walking and golf. The importance of continuous learning, adaptability, and the value of support networks in achieving success is also a feature of the episode. Key Learning Points: · Explore ways to manage the sensory challenges, such as the cold weather or noisy crowds. · Neurodiverse traits can change over time. · Every individual's experience of living with autism is different. · Adapting the use of comms kits in professional games and the difficulty of managing multiple conversations simultaneously should be considered by the FA when thinking about supporting Neurodiverse referees and assistant referees. · It is important for governing bodies to invest in supporting and educating people who are neurodiverse to future-proof specific individuals in sports. Connect with Nathan Sherratt Instagram Website - The Third Team Connect with David Charlton Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIN Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Ep285: Adam Batstone - Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive Ep249: Dr Edward Hall – Understanding Workplace Collaboration In Coaching In Team Sports Ep105: Hannah Bromley – Overcoming Psychological Challenges in Professional Women's Football Ep065: Dr Amy Izycky – Encouraging Mentally Healthy Cultures in Sport Other Valuable Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Podcasts for Sport Coach Development Cricket Psychology Resources Hockey Psychology Resources Rugby Psychology Resources Soccer Psychology Resources
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Jul 4, 2025 • 46min

285 Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive

In today's episode David Charlton and his colleague Adam Batstone emphasised the importance of psychological support in football and sport coaching with children. They particularly acknowledged the need to foster rapport with parents to address their concerns about disclosing their child's challenges. David and Adam highlighted the need for adaptability in coaching methods, especially for neurodivergent children, who may require more personalised approaches. They discussed strategies like framing sessions, providing clear routines, and using non-confrontational prompts to maintain engagement. The conversation also touched on the significance of life skills development beyond football, noting that coaches can help children build resilience and emotional flexibility, crucial for their future success in various fields. Key Learning Points: · Seek to explore ways to incorporate more flexibility and adaptability in training sessions to better accommodate neurodivergent players. · Develop strategies to build trust with parents, encouraging them to openly share information about their child's needs. · Provide training for coaches on recognizing and supporting neurodivergent behaviours, and implementing effective intervention techniques. · Investigate the feasibility of creating designated "safe spaces" within the training environment for players to self-regulate when needed. · Factor in the psychological planning of training sessions to consider the emotional responses of players. · Utilise additional coaching resources to provide one-on-one support for players who may need it during sessions. Connect with David Charlton Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIN Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Ep249: Dr Edward Hall – Understanding Workplace Collaboration In Coaching In Team Sports Ep105: Hannah Bromley – Overcoming Psychological Challenges in Professional Women's Football Ep065: Dr Amy Izycky – Encouraging Mentally Healthy Cultures in Sport Other Valuable Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Podcasts for Sport Coach Development Cricket Psychology Resources Hockey Psychology Resources Rugby Psychology Resources Soccer Psychology Resources Podcast Episodes To Help Children Have A Positive Sporting Experience Ep074: David Charlton – How Can I Make My Child Feel Confident? Ep112: David Charlton – How to Deal with Physical Insecurities as a Young Athlete Ep217: Chris Cook – How A Marginal Gains Approach Can Help You Perform Better Resources To Help Children Have A Positive Sporting Experience Helping Young Athletes Manage Emotions Does Your Child Worry Too Much About What Others Think? My Child Can't Find "The Zone" Other Valuable Resources To Help Children, Young Athletes, Parents and Youth Sport Coaches Youth Sports Psychology Library Conversations With Kids Ideas Frequently Asked Questions - Sport Psychology for Children and Parents
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Jun 27, 2025 • 5min

284 What's To Come This Summer – Contemporary Issues in Sport

David Charlton introduces the next phase of the "Demystifying Mental Toughness" podcast, where episodes will address various contemporary issues, including diversity, equity, and inclusion, particularly for underrepresented groups like BAME athletes and neurodivergent individuals. The podcast will also discuss the impact of social media and the problematic cultures of blaming and shaming in sports. David emphasizes the importance of recognizing individual differences and avoiding stereotyping, advocating for a more inclusive and supportive approach to enhance the everyone's overall sporting experience. Connect with David Charlton Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIN Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Ep249: Dr Edward Hall – Understanding Workplace Collaboration In Coaching In Team Sports Ep105: Hannah Bromley – Overcoming Psychological Challenges in Professional Women's Football Ep065: Dr Amy Izycky – Encouraging Mentally Healthy Cultures in Sport Other Valuable Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Podcasts for Sport Coach Development Cricket Psychology Resources Hockey Psychology Resources Rugby Psychology Resources Soccer Psychology Resources
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May 23, 2025 • 11min

283 How To Help A Swimmer Who Is Online A Lot Checking His Rivals Out

Colm O’Donoghue, a sports psychology expert, joins David Charlton to discuss the challenges faced by a 16-year-old swimmer struggling with online comparison to his rivals. They delve into social comparison theory and its impact on motivation and self-esteem. The duo offers practical strategies, including developing a pre-race routine and setting SMART goals, to foster personal growth. They highlight the importance of self-talk and emotional awareness, providing a roadmap to help young athletes shift focus from rivals to self-improvement.
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May 16, 2025 • 11min

282 How To Help An Emotional Tennis Player Perform Better

This discussion revolves around the emotional hurdles faced by a young tennis player struggling with anger and frustration on the court. Insightful techniques like breathing exercises and visualizations are suggested to help her regain focus and composure after mistakes. The hosts emphasize the importance of emotional regulation and practicing mindfulness to enhance both performance and enjoyment. The conversation highlights how managing emotions can be a vital player in consistent improvement and success in sports.
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May 9, 2025 • 10min

281 How To Help The Golfer Who Searches For The Perfect Swing

Is the perfect golf swing a myth? Absolutely! This conversation challenges the obsession with swing perfection and emphasizes that what truly matters is effective execution and personal style. Discover the importance of flow and rhythm over technicality. Plus, learn how to enhance your practice by incorporating technical, performance, process, and enjoyment elements. Don’t get tied up in knots—embrace creativity and fun for a better game!

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