So Very Wrong About Games

I used to tell a joke about Heimdall, but it was pretty horny. I used to tell a joke about Osiris, but it fell to pieces. I used to tell a joke about Venus, but it was masturbatory. I used to tell a joke about Sleipnir, but it didn't have legs. I used to tell a joke about Prometheus, but it needed a spark. I used to tell a joke about Draupnir, but it just didn't ever end. I used to tell a joke about Marathon, but it was a bit of a long walk. I used to tell a joke about the Hecatoncheires, but it was punching down. I used to tell a joke about Tyr, but it wasn't even-handed. I used to tell a joke about Ragnarok, but everyone knew the end already. I used to tell a joke about Jormungand, but it was very toxic. I used to tell a joke about Pandora, but it was too out of the box. I used to tell a joke about Cerberus, but it was just gatekeeping. I used to tell a joke about Yggdrasil, but I had to leaf. I used to tell a joke about the labyrinth's inhabitant, but it was bull. I used to tell a joke about the sword of Damocles, but it was over my head. I used to tell a joke about Procrustes, but I kept getting cut off. I used to tell a joke about Sisyphus, but I got tired of the repetition. I used to tell a joke about Penelope's crafting, but it was just an excuse to kill time. I used to tell a joke about the Golden Apple, but it caused too many arguments. I used to tell a joke about Gordian succession, but it was a tangled mess. I used to tell a joke about Minerva's bird, but I can't remember owl of it.01:58 AYURIS: Caylus 1303 (William Attia, Space Cowboys, 2019)Games Played Last Week:04:38 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)05:55 -Rhino Hero Super Battle (Scott Frisco & Steven Strumpf, HABA, 2017)06:00 -Kabuto Sumo (Tony Miller, BoardGameTables.com, 2021)06:37 -Shards of Infinity: Shadow of Salvation (Justin Gary & Ryan Sutherland, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2019)07:07 -Star Realms (Robert Dougherty & Darwin Kastle, Wise Wizard, 2014)09:06 -Root (Cole Wehrle, Leder Games, 2018)11:39 -Faiyum (Friedemann Friese, 2F-Spiele, 2020)12:45 -Descent: Legends in the Dark (Kara Centell-Dunk & Nathan I. Hajek, Fantasy Flight, 2021)25:01 -Dark Souls: The Board Game (David Carl, Alex Hall, Mat Hart, & Richard Loxam, Steamforged Games, 2017)28:34 -Warp's Edge (Scott Almes, Renegade Game Studios, 2020)31:46 -ALIEN: Fate of the Nostromo (Scott Rogers, Ravensburger, 2021)37:56 -Lots (Thomas Wells, Self-Published, 2021) 39:54 -Mandala (Trevor Benjamin & Brett J. Gilbert, 2019) 44:59 -Canvas (Jeff Chin & Andrew Nerger, Road to Infamy Games, 2021)46:20 -Rush M.D. (Athony Howgego, Konstantinos Kokkinis, & Dávid Turczi, Artipia Games, 2020)News (and why it doesn't matter):48:43 International Gamers Award nominees https://www.boardgamegeek.com/blogpost/121685/nominees-announced-2021-international-gamers-award49:28 Hero Realms digital beta50:00 Blood Red Skies and unpainted minis51:55 Atomic Mass Games: Star Wars: Armada being discontinued?53:20 SVWAG's statement on allegations against Greg Spence, CEO of Broken Token, and in solidarity with victims of sexual assaulthttps://www.polygon.com/tabletop-games/22632835/broken-token-greg-spence-allegations-sexual-assault-abuse54:37 Topic: Bluffing1:22:29 SVWAG Presents: Masterpiece Theatre Presents: The Fast and the Furious Presents: Hobbs & ShawAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We delve deep into knowledge and doubt this week on SVWAG. How do we know what we know? How can we know what we don't know? Why did Mark think Vienna Connection was a train game? Who or what is Wormy Plums, and is it a euphemism for some kind of sex act? Why is there no Masterpiece Theatre? Thankfully, we can at least answer that last question--it is because The F8 of the Furious took such a toll on the hosts' psyches that they needed a break to recuperate.Games Played Last Week:01:16 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)04:44 -Brew (Stevo Torres, Pandasaurus Games, 2021)08:40 -Space Base (John D. Clair, AEG, 2018)12:17 -Fortress (Fridemann Friese, 2F-Spiele, 2017)14:56 -Destinies (Michał Gołębiowski & Filip Miłuński, Lucky Duck Games, 2021)17:57 -Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021)22:01 -Isle of Skye: From Chieftain to King (Andreas Pelikan & Alexander Pfister, Lookout Games, 2015)24:20 -Fairy Tale (Satoshi Nakamura, Z-Man Games, 2004)26:09 -Let's Make a Bus Route: The Dice Game (Saashi, Saashi & Saashi, 2021)27:31 -Quest (Don Eskridge, Indie Boards & Cards, 2021)33:12 -Formula D (Laurent Lavaur & Eric Randall, Asmodee, 2008)News (and why it doesn't matter):35:00 SVWAG is listener-supported35:59 Flamecraft: adorable36:30 Black Rose Wars: Rebirth expandalone37:20 Harry Potter Talisman37:40 Marrakesh by Stefan Feld38:05 Finalists for the Zenobia Awards: historical games by under-represented authorshttps://zenobiaaward.org/finalists/39:18 50th anniversary edition of Québec 1759 in 2022 from Columbia Games 40:27 Parasocial Saturdays: streaming Canvas and Rush M.D. on August 21st. 40:41 Feature Game: Vienna Connection (Jakub Poczęty, Przemysław Rymer, Ignacy Trzewiczek, & Jakub Łapot, Portal Games, 2021)Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The crushing burden of Masterpiece Theatre is having a toll. I had an attitude problem, but then I took a timeout, and I thought about what I did. The success of the Fast and/or Furious movies is undeniable--business-wise, this all seems like appropriate business--but at what cost? I went to the stock market today. I did a business. SVWAG is most emphatically not children stacked together wearing a trenchcoat. Would you like a alcohol? 02:39 AYURIS: Catan: Starfarers (Klaus Teuber, KOSMOS, 2019)Games Played Last Week:03:53 -Sunset Over Water (Eduardo Baraf, Steve Finn, & Keith Matejka, Delight, 2018)06:44 -Isle of Skye: From Chieftain to King (Andreas Pelikan & Alexander Pfister, Lookout Games, 2015)09:27 -Mysterium Park (Oleksandr Nevskiy & Oleg Sidorenko, Libellud, 2020)11:33 -Imperium: The Contention (Gary Dworetsky, Contention Games, 2021)14:32 -Crash Octopus (Naotaka Shimamoto, itten, 2021)15:02 -Dice Miner (Joshua DeBonis & Nikola Risteski, Atlas Games, 2021)16:40 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)17:25 -Caravan (Joe Huber, Rio Grande Games, 2019)18:58 -The Quest for El Dorado (Reiner Knizia, Ravensburger, 2017)21:16 -The Quacks of Quedlinburg: The Alchemists (Wolfgang Warsch, Schmidt Spiele, 2020)23:36 -Inis (Christian Martinez, Matagot, 2016)26:50 -Mafiozoo (Rüdiger Dorn, Super Meeple, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter):30:05 KS creators: own your choices, stop guilting backers32:15 Why's everything gotta have a campaign? (reprise)34:04 Earthborne Rangers' desire for sustainability36:17 More crap in dice: dragon eyes36:39 Excavation Earth expansion: It Belongs in a Museum37:13 Bix box retail, licensed games are impressive: Ravensburger's Alien: Fate of the Nostromo and Disney Gargoyles: Awakening 38:21 Avatar RPG38:53 Tasty Minstrel Games suspends operations, refunds Kickstarter39:48 Pfister becomes post-colonialist? Boonlake41:21 Topic: Trenchcoat Games1:08:27 SVWAG Presents: Masterpiece Theatre: The Fate of the FuriousAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

NB: "Language independent" can be a loaded term, and we confess we used it a tad sloppily in our discussion of Tribune. Latin is used throughout the game, and ain't nobody speaks Latin as their first language anymore, but nonetheless in hindsight we could have been more sensitive to those more familiar with non-Latin alphabets. Thus, we should say that the original Primus Inter Pares expansion and the new Spielworxx Tribune are language-independent but not alphabet-independent. I dare any game with an appropriate time period as a theme try to get away with cuneiform. Games Played Last Week:01:25 -Coffee Traders (Rolf Sagel & André Spil, Capstone Games, 2021)05:05 -Praga Caput Regni (Vladimír Suchý, Delicious Games, 2020)06:18 -Kabuto Sumo (Tony Miller, BoardGameTables.com, 2021)08:21 -Crash Octopus (Naotaka Shimamoto, itten, 2021)11:05 -Pan Am (Prospero Hall, Funko Games, 2020)13:37 -Terraforming Mars: Ares Expedition (Sydney Engelstein, Jacob Fryxelius, & Nick Little, Stronghold Games, 2021)15:59 -Imperium: The Contention (Gary Dworetsky, Contention Games, 2021)19:49 -Shelfie Stacker (Shem Philips, Arkus Games, 2021)23:51 -The Staufer Dynasty (Andreas Steding, Z-Man Games, 2014)28:34 -One Deck Dungeon: Forest of Shadows (Chris Cieslik, Asmadi Games, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter): 31:02 Games Workshop back to its old habits, issuing takedown notices32:00 Cryptid: Urban Legends from Osprey32:29 SPECTRE: The Board Game from Modiphius33:12 AZADI from creators of SHASN, Zain Memon & Abhshek Lamba35:01 G.I. Joe and Transformers deckbuilders from Renegade35:41 Batman: Escape from Arkham Asylum from Knight Games36:05 R.I.P., Pokémon mod for Wingspan on TTS37:24 Feature Game: Tribune (Karl-Heinz Schmiel, Spielworxx, 2021)1:11:31 SVWAG Presents: Masterpiece Theatre: Fast & Furious 7Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Absence, as they say, makes the heart grow fonder, which I believe was an aphorism coined about a gamer's relationship with their prized game collection. Mark finds himself separated against his will from his many many boxes, which makes Walker's occasional reminders of games he left behind all the more painful. Fortunately, Mark has his stable of insect rikishi to keep him company.01:18 AYURIS: Last Bastion (Antoine Bauza, Repos Production, 2019)Games Played Last Week:03:19 -Spire's End (Greg Favro, Self-Published, 2019)05:41 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)05:55 -Race for the Galaxy (Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande Games, 2007)06:00 -Imperium: Classics and Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021)07:33 -Orleans (Reiner Stockhausen, dlp Games, 2014)09:30 -The Quacks of Quedlinburg (Wolfgang Warsch, Scmidt Spiele, 2018)11:36 -Sleeping Gods (Ryan Laukat, Red Raven Games, 2021)17:08 -Pan Am (Prospero Hall, Funko Games, 2020)21:24 -Imperium: The Contention (Gary Dworetsky, Contention Games, 2021)22:00 -Wingspan (Elizabeth Hargrave, Stonemaier Games, 2019)23:11 -Destinies (Michał Gołębiowski & Filip Miłuński, Lucky Duck Games, 2021)27:02 -Mind MGMT: The Psychic Espionage "Game." (Jay Cormier & Sen-Foong Lim, Off the Page Games, 2021)31:01 -Kabuto Sumo (Tony Miller, BoardGameTables.com, 2021)News (and why it doesn't matter): 36:18 Editorial policy on not accepting payment for coverage37:07 Kingdomino: Origins37:47 Pandemic: World of Warcraft38:04 VektoRace38:39 Fort Cats & Dogs expansion38:49 Spiel des Jahres: MicroMacro: Crime City, Kennerspiel winner: Paleo40:34 Queen's Dilemma41:12 Carolus Magnus reprint: Eriantys43:03 Wonder Book: pop-up book game!43:33 Arena Mortis44:31 Petersen Games and the Petersen Two-Stephttps://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2021/07/board-games-have-colonialism-problem/619518/47:24 Topic: Omnibus Questions Bravo Bravo1:22:07 SVWAG Presents: Masterpiece Theatre: Fast & Furious 6Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

With Mark out of town, we peek behind the curtain here at SVWAG, offering you insights from the seldom-heard support staff that make this show possible. Walker seems liberated from his overbearing colleague, while others are coping with loss in their own way.Games Played Last Week:00:40 -Shards of Infinity (Gary Arant & Justin Gary, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2018)01:11 -Spire's End (Greg Favro, Self-Published, 2019)02:39 -Lords of Hellas (Awam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2018)04:04 -Carnegie (Xavier Georges, Quined Games, 2021)News (and why it doesn't matter): 05:07 SVWAG HQ after Mark's disappearance06:24 Dune Imperium expands06:48 Terraforming Mars: Ares Expedition launch issues08:13 On Mars expands08:42 Machi Koro 209:17 Artisans of Splendent Vale09:46 Topic: Can a Game Be Bad?Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Mark has not yet finished his Cain-like eternal wanderings throughout Canada (though he didn't even murder any siblings), but we nonetheless conspired in advance to make this episode possible. Sporadic though our output may be until such time as SVWAG West gets established, we will take care of you as best we can. Games Played Last Week:02:03 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)05:41 -Pax Viking (Jon Mankr, Ion Game Design, 2021)09:46 -Dinosaur Tea Party (Rob Daviau, JR Honeycutt, & Justin D. Jacobson, Restoration Games, 2018)10:41 -Million Dollar Script (Daniel Stamm, Portal Games, 2021)15:45 -Scape Goat (Jon Perry, Indie Boards & Cards, 2020)16:56 -Sonic the Hedgehog: Crash Course (Sean Dallas McDonald, IDW Games, 2018) 20:07 -Babylonia (Reiner Knizia, Ludonova, 2019)22:17 -In the Shadow of the Emperor (Ralf Burkert, Rio Grande Games, 2004)25:51 -Imperium: The Contention (Gary Dworetsky, Contention Games, 2021)News (and why it doesn't matter): 27:31 Board Game Arena onslaught of new games28:05 Lost Ruins of Arnak expansion28:28 Blue Moon license reverts to Knizia, reprint delayed29:58 Topic: Omnibus Questions Bravo AlphaAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It's a card game that spans over four thousand years, but Walker would insist that it only feels like you're playing for three thousand, tops. The great thing about reviewing games by Dávid Turczi is that if you don't enjoy the latest game he's published, wait five minutes and he'll have another one for you. Please remember to tip your server.Games Played Last Week:01:16 -Dice Miner (Joshua DeBonis & Nikola Risteski, Atlas Games, 2021)02:55 -Inlfuentia (Miguel Bruque, Ludonova, 2020)06:58 -L.A.M.A. Dice (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2021)08:05 -MicroMacro: Crime City (Johannes Sich, Pegasus Spiele, 2020)10:09 -Yura Yura Penguin (Yabuchi Ryoko, Self-Published, 2020)11:02 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)13:28 -Pax Viking (Jon Mankr, Ion Game Design, 2021)17:26 -Tutankhamun (Reiner Knizia, 25th Century Games, 2021)23:18 -Lancaster: Big Box (Matthias Cramer & Wolfgang Panning, Queen Games, 2015)27:59 -Spire's End (Greg Favro, Sel-Published, 2019)30:24 -The King's Dilemma (Hjalmar Hach & Lorenzo Silva, Horrible Guild, 2019)32:34 -Great Western Trail (Alexander Pfister, eggertspiele, 2016)News (and why it doesn't matter): 33:59 Brass: Birmingham on Steam, tutorial impenetrable to Walker34:46 Grail Games v. Reiner Knizia on social media37:17 Twitch unboxings: The Persuit of Happiness, Million Dollar Script38:43 Imperium: Classics giveaway on Twitter @sowronggames40:02 Bonfire: Trees and Creatures expansion41:32 Patreon and schedule news42:12 Feature Game: -Imperium: Classics and Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021)1:03:52 SVWAG Presents: Masterpiece Theatre: Fast 5Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As far as Walker is concerned, when he says that Mark is a jerk and he smells funny, that's a prime example of a combo. Mark counters that a perfectly sensible combo is a podcast about board games issuing random observations of silly blockbuster movies. In either case, if you want your mind to break and your conception of reality to weaken, we encourage you to investigate short scale vs. long scale. Numbers are meaningless and all is illusion. Another combo!01:45 AYURIS: Cloudspire (Josh J. Carlson, Adam Carlson, & Josh Wielgus, Chip Theory Games, 2019)Games Played Last Week:04:42 -Merchants Cove (Jonny Pac, Carl Van Ostrand, & Drake Villareal, Final Frontier Games, 2021) 11:12 -Rangers of Shadow Deep (Joseph McCullough, Self-Published, 2018)14:07 -Dice Miner (Joshua DeBonis & Nikola Risteski, Atlas Games, 2021)17:34 -Railroad Ink Challenge (Hjalmar Hach & Lorenzo Silva, Horrible Guild, 2021)19:55 -The Quest for El Dorado: The Golden Temples (Reiner Knizia, Ravensburger, 2019)24:23 -L.A.M.A. Dice (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2021)25:29 -Abandon All Artichokes (Emma Larkins, Gamewright, 2020)26:01 -Horizon Wars: Infinite Dark (Robey Jenkins, Precinct Omega Publishing, 2021)30:15 -Verona Twist (József Dorsonczky, Mind Fitness Games, 2018)33:04 -Monumental (Matthew Dunstan, Funforge, 2020)36:23 -Groundhog Day: The Game (Propsero Hall, Funko Games, 2021)News (and why it doesn't matter): 38:45 Castello Methoni and BoardGameGeek News/Store40:19 Maracaibo digital, mobile only (for now)40:48 Terraforming Mars: Ares Expedition; should backers expect a game first?47:46 Send us questions! justrolldadice@gmail.com48:51 Knizia and Bitewing Games: "Criminal Capers Collection"50:00 Topic: The Agony and the Ecstasy of Combos1:10:19 SVWAG Presents: Masterpiece Theatre: Fast & FuriousAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Titles, as Herr Doktor Doktor Vincent Diesel, esq. O.B.E. could tell you, are important things. They must be recorded for posterity, quite literally in the case of Dogberry: "But masters, remember that I am an ass, though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass." Mark and Walker are bereft of such honorifics; "Gilded Ones" apparently only applies if you go the full gilt route, which sounds way too painful to endorse. Whether philosophers get any titles past "lovers of wisdom" is a matter of some controversy; Mark weighs in all the same. Games Played Last Week:00:50 -Pandemic: The Cure (Matt Leacock, Z-Man Games, 2014) 04:07 -Fairy Tale (Satoshi Nakamura, Z-Man Games, 2004)07:13 -Plantopia (Daryl Chow, Origame, 2020)10:30 -Paleontologists (Joe Hout, Web published, 2020)11:15 -Shards of Infinity (Gary Arant & Justin Gary, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2018)16:00 -Dominion (Donald X. Vaccarino, Rio Grande Games, 2008)16:39 -Imperium: Classics (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021)22:56 -Let's Make a Bus Route: The Dice Game (Saashi, Saashi & Saashi, 2021)25:54 -Nanga Parbat (Steve Finn, Dr. Finn Games, 2021)30:54 -Street Masters (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2018)News (and why it doesn't matter): 33:25 "Swirling the Drain:" Tasty Minstreal loses Orléans to Capstone34:25 "Swirling the Drain:" Unfathomable re-skins Battlestar Galactica to Arkham Horror38:02 Phalanx's Coalitions: Grand strategic Napoleonics!39:17 Compass Games' Coalition: Grand strategic Napoleonics!40:11 GCT Studios' Bushido40:54 Traitorous trick-taking: Shamans by Cédrick Chaboussit42:05 Age of Sigmar: Dominion from Games Workshop42:29 Feature Game: Witchstone (Martino Chiacchiera & Reiner Knizia, R&R Games, 2021)1:02:16 SVWAG Presents: Masterpiece Theatre: Tokyo DriftAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy