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The Sexual Wellness Sessions

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Jul 9, 2021 • 54min

Managing Menopause with Meg Mathews

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the experience of menopause with icon of the nineties Brit Pop scene, and now menopause campaigner, author and columnist and founder of Women's Health Platform Meg's Menopause @megsmenopause Meg Mathews.   Whilst the menopause is a natural part of ageing which occurs when oestrogen levels decline, normally between the ages of about 45 and 55 years of age; there are still 34 commonly associated symptoms which impact those going through menopause not jut physically and physiologically, but also emotionally and mentally. Whilst some symptoms like irregular periods, hot flushes, vaginal dryness and lower libido may be more commonly known; others such as fatigue, joint pain, dizzy spells, impact on sleep, anxiety and loss of focus and struggles with cognition can have a huge impact on all round health and wellbeing. All of this can also have a huge knock on effect on relationships, work, family-life, hobbies and interests and general wellbeing; although it feels like there aren't many conversations acknowledging that.   In 2016 Meg turned fifty and began to experience the first symptoms of the menopause. She was shocked at the lack of support and understanding shown to women during this time in their lives and made it her mission to break the stigma around this natural cycle of ageing. Since 2017 she has been campaigning about the menopause, fronting campaigns, speaking at events and helping thousands of women navigate their menopause journey.    Meg launched the Women's Health Platform @Megsmenopause to offer people holistic information and products, she has a weekly column for Stella magazine dedicated to the menopause, and a quarterly column in Menopause Matters magazine.    Meg’s first book ‘The New Hot: Taking on the Menopause with Attitude and Style’ was published by Vermillion in 2020. https://megsmenopause.com/ Instagram : @megsmenopause Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible. Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace. The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone https://www.blueheart.io/   @blueheart_app   Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy
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Jul 2, 2021 • 52min

Discussing Consent With Justin Hancock

In this engaging discussion, Justin Hancock, a seasoned relationships and sex educator, tackles the complex topic of consent. He emphasizes the need for comprehensive conversations that break down societal misconceptions. Justin critiques traditional sexual education, advocating for resources that genuinely address consent. He highlights the importance of open dialogue, linking consent to personal agency and everyday choices. Listeners will walk away with a deeper understanding of how to normalize discussions around consent in their relationships and communities.
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Jun 25, 2021 • 45min

Grief, Sex Lives & Relationships with Julia Samuel MBE

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing how the process of grieving and loss can impact sex lives and relationships. I'll be having this conversation with the world leading expert, psychotherapist, and author Julia Samuel MBE; who in her book Grief Works said “We seem happy to talk about sex or failure, or to expose our deepest vulnerabilities, but on death we are silent. It is so frightening, even alien, for many of us that we cannot find the words to voice it . . . The pain we feel is invisible, an unseen wound.” Grief and loss are not often held in conversation together with sex, but as a psychotherapist it's something that I often explore in the therapy room. Loss can shake up so much of our lives, change our thinking and our perspectives; and something that Julia often refers to in our conversation is we can't 'not know that loss is possible' once we have experienced it. We discuss the flip side of love being loss, and how for some people their most natural instinct may be to shut down and turn away from intimacy and connection; whereas for others the need to feel, and feel alive may be what they are searching for when they are grieving. We also talk about how we understand mourning, and if we can apply what we know about loss to relationship break ups. Julia Samuel MBE. Msc,  MBACP (Snr Accredited) UKCP Registered Psychotherapist  Julia is a leading UK psychotherapist.  At St Mary's Hospital Paddington, she established the post of  psychotherapist for Paediatrics, where her role for 25 years involved seeing families who have children or babies who die, and where she trained and supported the staff. In 1994 she worked to help launch and establish The Child Bereavement UK, and in 2016 was awarded an MBE in recognition of her services to bereaved children; and in 2017 Middlesex University awarded her an Honorary Doctorate.  In 2017 Julia published Grief Works which was a Sunday Times bestseller in the UK and has been published in 17 countries. In March 2020 she published This Too Shall Pass: stories of Change Crisis and Hopeful Beginnings and is also a Sunday Times bestseller. She also hosts the podcast A Living Loss : The Art Of Losing And Finding Yourself. https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram : @juliasamuelmbe Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible. Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace. The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone https://www.blueheart.io/ @blueheart_app Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy
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Jun 18, 2021 • 48min

Rethinking Relationships with Andrew G Marshall

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the huge topic of relationships. We cover how sex can change in relationships and how one of the biggest challenges to our relationships can be our narratives and expectations of them. My guest for this conversation is the brilliant Andrew G Marshall; marital therapist, podcast host and author of twenty books on sex and relationships; including the international best sellers: 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' and 'How can I ever trust you again'. Relationships are a theme woven through most of the episodes on this podcast, and it almost feels impossible not to talk about relationships when we talk about sex, and not to talk about sex when we talk about relationships. The biggest questions I get asked as a Psychosexual Therapist are about how and why sex changes, and this is what Andrew and I unpick in our discussion. We talk about where our ideas about relationships come from, why our expectations can set us up to fail, why intimacy and fear can be linked, and why often the hardest thing to do is to let go of control and be vulnerable, but how when we do how it can deepen intimacy and connection. Andrew G Marshall is a marital therapist, author of twenty books, and host of the podcast: The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall - where he interviews guests from all walks of life about what makes life meaningful. He trained thirty five years ago with Relate and leads a team of relationship and psycho-sexual therapists in private practice in the UK; and has his own practice in Berlin.    Follow Andrew on Twitter at @andrewgmarshall   www.andrewgmarshall.com www.couplestherapy.berlin Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible. Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace. The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone https://www.blueheart.io/ @blueheart_app Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy
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Jun 11, 2021 • 35min

Unpacking Sexual Diversity with Dominic Davies

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking about the topic of sexual diversity and why it's important that we have more understanding around the subject. My guest for this conversation is a world-recognised expert in this space and founder of the organisation Pink Therapy, Dominic Davies.  Gender and sexual diversity is about moving beyond the binary, and explaining how gender and sexuality can be understood along a spectrum. In every society there are dominant narratives about sexuality, gender and sex; and as a result of that there will always be people that don't identify within these often binary ideas, which can present challenges for them.  Dominic and I discuss why it's important to update our understanding around sexuality and gender; how identities can change over the course of our lives, and how all of this can impact our identity, mental health, and how we see ourselves in society. Dominic Davies is a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist and the founder of the organisation Pink Therapy which works with Gender, Sex and Relationship Diverse people both through it's online directory of therapists and through an international online training programme for therapists.  He was recently awarded names as one of "50 Distinguished Gender and Sexual Revolutionaries" in a gala evening commemorating 50 years of sex therapy innovation and research at the University of Minnesota.  https://www.pinktherapy.com/ @pinktherapy_uk Today's episode was brought to you by Blueheart, the easy to use, expert-designed app for couples who are experiencing difficulties with libido - this is one of the most common sexual challenges that couples come up against. Blueheart are challenging the taboo around the subject by making getting help and advice more accessible. Blueheart is removing some of the barriers to make sex therapy possible for everyone, they offer expert-led therapeutic techniques, activities education and guided conversations, all from the app so that you can prioritise your relationship and sexual wellbeing in a way that works for you at your own pace. The Blueheart app is available to download now on Android and iPhone https://www.blueheart.io/ @blueheart_app Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy
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Jun 4, 2021 • 56min

Considering Self Pleasure with Daisy Buchanan

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the sexual relationships that we have with ourselves, and the topic of self-pleasure. My guest for this conversation is the fabulous Daisy Buchanan, who is an award winning journalist, author and broadcaster who's new book Insatiable: A Love Story For Greedy Girls, frankly and openly discusses the sexual relationship that Violet, the key character has with herself.  Many of the conversations that we have about sex are focused around partnered sex, when in fact our solo sex lives can play an important role in sexual wellbeing and sexual wellness. Self-pleasure has many documented benefits including self-sex education, learning about your body, the health benefits of orgasm, touch, pleasure and associated neurochemical releases; and being incorporated into self-care and me-time routines. We even have International Masturbation Month which takes place in May, and is widely documented across the media; but despite this it feels like conversations about masturbation and self-pleasure are still de-prioritised or behind those focusing on partnered experiences. Daisy and I unpick why we think that is, why she thinks it's important to include it in her writing, and how she describes herself as a self-pleasure enthusiast. Daisy Buchanan is an award winning journalist, author and broadcaster. She has written for every major newspaper and magazine in the UK, from the Guardian to Grazia. She hosts the chart topping podcast You're Booked, where she interviews legendary writers from all over the world about how their reading habits shape their work, and the acclaimed Daisy Is Insatiable,  an intimate look at love, lust, life, and everything that makes sex fascinating - created to accompany her Times bestselling debut novel, Insatiable: A Love Story For Greedy girls. Her other books include the non fiction titlesHow To Be A Grown Up and The Sisterhood.  Follow Daisy on Twitter @NotRollergirl  & Instagram @thedaisybee   This episode of the Sexual Wellness Sessions Podcast is brought to you by Daye, the gynae health research and development company raising the standards of female healthcare. Daye is on a mission to bridge the gender gap in medical research and innovation – starting with period pain, which affects 9 in 10 women in the UK. Daye is the creator of the world's first clinically validated, cramp-soothing CBD tampon, developed as a targeted solution for period cramps. They people with periods deserve tampons that are safe for both your body and the environment, which is why Daye tampons are fully sustainable, made with certified organic cotton and sanitised for safety to reduce the risk of TSS.  You can get £5 towards your first tampon box when you sign up to their flexible subscription service with the code 'SWS5'. To learn more about Daye and subscribe, visit www.yourdaye.com.    Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy
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May 28, 2021 • 50min

Talking About Sex Lives and Cancer with Brian Lobel & Beth McCann

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're discussing the impact of cancer and cancer treatment on sex lives and relationships. My guests for this conversation are the amazing Brian Lobel and Beth McCann from the organisation Sex With Cancer; which is an art project and community enterprise that looks at innovative solutions to the often-ignored problem of illness, intimacy, sexual function and pleasure. Brian Lobel is an artist who has been working in cancer care and patient advocacy since 2003, after a diagnosis of testicular cancer when he was 20 years old, and he now performs and writes both creatively and academically on the subject of cancer. Beth McCann is a Clinical nurse specialist for young people with cancer with a special interest in sexual health.   Cancer diagnosis and treatment touch all areas of our lives; but sexual wellbeing is not a commonly discussed topic. Often people describe feeling that there is a blind spot around the subject which adds to the challenge of questions, queries, and knowing where to turn for advice. This is exactly what Sex With Cancer as an organisation are trying to achieve. It was launched by people with cancer, for people with cancer for exactly this reason.    The impact of cancer for sufferers and partners is enormous, and can create changes in all areas of our lives physically, emotionally, in terms of self-image and confidence, relationships, psychologically, hormonally and in terms of our identity, and so it's not a surprise then that we see some of that reflected in our thinking, feeling and behaviours when it comes to sex.  Drawing on personal experience, and working with a steering group of advocates and experts in the worlds of sex, sexual health and cancer care, Sex with Cancer aims to develop into a permanent resource where people living with and beyond cancer can access information, practical solutions and products about sex without shame, and with an eye to pleasure, fun and connection.  sexwithcancer.com @SexWithCancer This episode was brought to you by The YES YES Company, producers of natural personal lubricants, vaginal moisturisers and intimate washes.  YES products are hypoallergenic and certified organic by the Soil Association, made from ethically sourced plant-based ingredients, without parabens, glycerine or hormones. This is ideal for cancer patients seeking natural relief from vaginal dryness brought on by cancer treatments, to restore comfortable sex. Discover YES products at https://www.yesyesyes.org/breastcancer/Use YESKATE15 to claim 15% off your order.  @Yes_Organics Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy
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May 21, 2021 • 54min

Reframing Sex On Screen with Ita O'Brien

In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking all about the sex that we see on stage and screen. My guest for this episode is the brilliant Intimacy Coordinator and Movement Director Ita O'Brien; who has worked on many hit shows, including Sex Education, Normal People, I May Destroy You and It's A Sin.   The ideas and narratives that we pick up about sex and relationships come from multiple sources; but one of the big influential factors in our lives is what we see on screen. TV series and films make up a lot of our downtime, and are a common topic of conversation, and Netflix is now a well-used word in our everyday vocabulary; but what goes into the process and thinking of the sex that we see on screen and how can that impact how we think and feel about sex?   Comparison culture is at an all time high, and many of us feel that what we see when it comes to sex on screen, doesn't ring true when it comes to our own sex lives. On the flipside we have seen the huge success of shows like Normal People, which Ita was the intimacy co-ordinator on. The much-praised intimacy scenes demonstrated communication, fumbling, uncertainty and the 'working-it-out-as-you-go-on' type of sex that many of us experience in their daily lives, and therefore felt was represented.  Ita O'Brien is the UK's leading Intimacy Coordinator and founder of Intimacy on Set. O'Brien pioneered the role of the Intimacy Coordinator and since 2014 has been developing best practice Intimacy on Set Guidelines, which have been widely adopted in the industry and championed by the TIME'S UP movement and others, advocating for safe, fair and dignified work for everyone. O'Brien has worked on numerous high-profile productions including Normal People (BBC3/Hulu), Sex Education 1&2 (Netflix), Gangs of London (Sky Atlantic), The Great (Hulu), I May Destroy You (BBC/HBO), Brave New World (Peacock/Sky One), It's A Sin (Channel 4) and has been widely covered in the national and international media as the leading spokesperson in this space. https://www.itaobrien.com/ This episode was sponsored by iPlaysafe App. Download the free app and order your iPlaySafe Box - a home STI testing kit. Your results will be sent directly your app, along with an iPlaySafe badge verifying your sexual health status. It's then up to you when, with whom, and whether you share it.   https://www.iplaysafe.app/ Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy
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May 14, 2021 • 59min

Untangling Stress and Sex with Emily Nagoski

  To kick off the second series of The Sexual Wellness Sessions, we are tackling the topic of stress with the brilliant author of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Emily Nagoski.     When it comes to our sex lives, we see that stress can impact sex, and sex can both cause and relieve stress. It's both a simple and a complicated relationship that is full of many contradictions.      As a Psychosexual Therapist stress and anxiety are in some way woven into all the conversations that I have; and as humans one of the simultaneous wonders and challenges that we have is metacognition - thinking about thinking. So we don't only deal with the stress response and the stress cycle, but also our thinking about what it means to us and the role it's playing in our lives, which when it comes to sex can become really problematic for some people. Emily and I talk about the stress response cycle, how we can manage stress, the impact of medical interventions, the impact of society and cultural messages, and how we can understand the relationship between stress and sex better.      Emily Nagoski is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.    https://www.emilynagoski.com/ Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle     This episode was sponsored by This Works – makers of clean, targeted skincare and wellness solutions - rooted in science and proven to work. Their Love Sleep range is designed to help you to reclaim your bedroom, and is formulated with a 100% natural Superblend of Ylang Ylang and Patchouli to help switch you off and turn you on.  After using the love sleep pillow spray 1 in 3 users had more intimate moments.   https://www.thisworks.com/   Kate Moyle is Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, who is passionate about having open and normalising conversations around sex and relationships; and helping people to get to a place of sexual health, happiness and wellbeing.  Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy
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Oct 30, 2020 • 56min

Describing Sex Positivity with Ruby Rare

In this final episode of Series One of The Sexual Wellness sessions hosted by Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, we're talking all about sex positivity. There was nobody better to unpack this conversation with than the queen of the sex positive space; sex educator and author of Sex Ed : A Guide for Adults, Ruby Rare . We discuss what it means to be sex positive, how to practice sex positivity both emotionally and practically; and we talk about how far we've come, and where we need to get, to create a more sex positive culture. Essentially the theme across this first series of podcast episodes and interviews is about how to help us to be more sex positive. A negative, shame-entwined or uncomfortable relationship with sex is something that shapes so many of our experiences at some point in our lives. And so much of the work done behind the door of the psychosexual therapy room is about reframing sex, to create a a definition of sex which is more inclusive, positive, personalised and accepting. Ruby and I talk about how education, both formal and informal plays an important role in how we understand ourselves sexually; but also how the interactions we have with the world shape our messages and understanding of sex. This was one reason that Ruby explains that she wrote her book, so that we can pull back and think critically about what messages and information we are receiving and internalising, and work out which ones influence us both positively and negatively. Ruby Rare is a queer, non-monogamous, pink-haired sex educator on a mission to get people talking more confidently and inclusively about sex. She's an ambassador for Brook, the UK's leading sexual health charity for young people, co-founder of Body Love Sketch Club, a body positive life drawing class, and when the world is less pandemic-y she runs workshops for adults on porn, pleasure, and non-monogamy. Her debut book Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults is out now. This conversation was brought to you by Ellen Terrie the luxury lingerie and intimate lifestyle brand designed uniquely for women to reclaim their bodies, own their sensuality and feel amazing in their skin. Visit them at  https://ellenterrie.com and get 20% off your next order with code KATEMOYLE20VIP ( Valid until December 31st 2020 )  Follow Ruby Rare on Instagram at @RubyRare Follow Kate Moyle on Instagram at @katemoyletherapy  Follow Ellen Terrie on Instagram at @ellenterrie_official or to find out more about Ellen Terrie head to their website https://ellenterrie.com/

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