Whilst it can be considered that loss is the impossible-to-avoid flipside of love, becoming a widow at age 30 defies all predictions of what building a life with someone looks like. But, this was what happened to my guest Lotte Bowser, whose partner Ben died age 36 in the midst of their plans for making a future together. This conversation digs deep into Lotte's experience of the rollercoaster of Ben's illness, treatment and death, and how dramatically differently their lives changed direction at a time when everything was about looking forward to what they had to come. Lotte shares so many insights into our ideas about the landscape of loss and how we so often pathologise and have fixed ideas about grief, and also how she started finding and navigating love again at a time when she felt like she needed to get to know herself again too.  Lotte Bowser is a writer, host of the Lemonade podcast and author of the forthcoming Bittersweet: a Story of Love and Loss  Follow Lotte on Instagram at @LotteBowser   This series has been brought to you by the luxury sexual wellness brand Lelo, who are offering listeners 30% off all Lelo products purchased on BeautyBay.com  Use the code KMOYLE30 until 11.59pm on 31st December 2024. The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, and author of The Science Of Sex : Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered. Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast, and always seek the advice of your doctor or a qualified healthcare provider.

In this conversation, Todd Baratz, a renowned psychotherapist and sex therapist, shares insights from his book, How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind. He discusses how societal shifts influence our expectations of love and intimacy, emphasizing the clash between modern dating standards and traditional beliefs. Baratz highlights the importance of therapy, undivided attention, and personal accountability in relationships. He also encourages listeners to embrace self-discovery in dating, focusing on joy rather than perfection.

Scotty Unfamous, a sex educator and Sexfluencer, discusses the importance of representation in sexual wellness, challenges faced in the industry, and misconceptions about her work. She emphasizes removing shame around sexuality, fostering body confidence, and breaking taboos. The podcast explores diverse methods of sex education and advocates for open conversations and empowering individuals to embrace their desires.

In this episode Jack Guinness describes how The Queer Bible is the book that the younger him needed and wished for. Growing up in Britain under Section 28 meant that generations of LGBTQI+ people grew up without seeing themselves or people like them in books, publications or media. This left so many feeling isolated in their feelings and experiences which Jack describes as a big part of his own life. He talks about how in telling the stories of many queer icons, written by and contributed to by so many other queer figures puts these stories out in the world where they belong, helping many to connect to their history. He describes The Queer Bible as a love letter to the LGBTQI+ community and its allies. --- Jack Guinness is the founder and editor of The Queer Bible,  Contributing Editor at GQ Magazine and is a British model, writer and presenter. The Queer Bible is a collection of essays which are a celebration of shared LGBTQ+ history and queer icons. Follow Jack On Instagram At @JackGuinness  Follow The Queer Bible On Instagram @QueerBible and find out more at https://www.queerbible.com/ --- The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, and author of The Science Of Sex : Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists nearly 3/4 women will experience pain during intercourse at some point during their lives, and yet despite this many struggle to get answers to why they are experiencing this type of pain.   There are multiple reasons that someone may be experiencing pain in their genitals and pelvic area. It can occur at different points during their menstrual cycle, can be a more constant pain, or it can be more acute at certain times for example during or after sex. Commonly associated conditions with pain during sex are endometriosis, vulvodynia, vaginismus, menopause, and skin conditions such as lichen sclerosus, and pain can be a side effect of some medications and treatments; but there are multiple other conditions and reasons that someone can find sex painful.   Many people also describe finding it hard to know where to go to help with these symptoms, or even how to describe them and so in this episode Dr Aziza Sesay, an NHS GP with a specialist interest in women's health discusses how we can get to know our own bodies and importantly our own normal, how to advocate to ourselves and what symptoms to make sure that we don't ignore.   Disclaimer - This podcast episode contains general health awareness information, and is not to be used for personal medical advice. If listeners have concerns about their health arising from this conversation, they should please speak to their doctor or a medical professional. --- Dr Aziza Sesay is an NHS GP, GP educator, Honorary Senior Clinical lecturer, speaker and health content creator. Dr Sesay is the creative director of Black Female Doctors UK organisation and is an Ambassador for The Eve Appeal Follow Dr Aziza Sesay On Instagram At @TalkswithDrSesay --- This episode was brought to you by Ferly, the sexual wellness app empowering women and couples to overcome sexual challenges affecting their relationships. To date they’ve helped over half a million women and couples struggling with things like low libido, inability to orgasm, low body confidence and/or pain during sex. Ferly’s achieved this by guiding people through science-based tools and techniques that help them feel better in their bodies and their beds. The app is available on IOS and Android. Download it for free today and start your journey to a healthier, more confident and more pleasurable life. I have the privilege of working with Ferly as their resident advisor and I truly believe that the app has the ability to be transformative for female sexual wellness. Find out more about Ferly at https://weareferly.com/ Follow Ferly On Instagram At @theferlymethod --- The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, and author of The Science Of Sex : Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

Many of us lack confidence in our bodies, and have anxieties or worries about how our body might look, especially when comparing ourselves to others. These anxieties can extend to our genitals with many struggling to accept their body which can interfere with desire, arousal and sexual functioning as well as self-esteem and sexual self confidence. Lydia Reeves is a female body casting artist who went through this herself as she struggled with how her vulva looked. This lead to her booking herself in for labiaplasty surgery aged 18, which she then ended up cancelling a year later.   Now Lydia is a body casting artist and an author, with her platform being focused on body diversity and acceptance helping people to learn how to celebrate not only their bodies, but accept themselves as a whole. Lydia has cast thousands of bodies, including thousands of vulva casts which aim to help people to break away from negative thinking about their bodies, and celebrate the difference in us all.  --- Lydia Reeves is a Brighton-based female body casting artist, who after body casting thousands of vulvas and hearing about the relationships that people had with their bodies, put 200 of these vulva casts into a book alongside these intimate stories. Lydia's work celebrates body diversity and acceptance showing that no two bodies, and no two vulvas are the same. She runs body casting sessions from her studio in Brighton, running casting sessions for breasts, vulvas, bums, pregnant bodies, chests and much more. Follow Lydia On Instagram At @lydiareeves_artist and find out more about her book My Vulva And I --- The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, and author of The Science Of Sex : Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

The transition to parenthood for a couple is one that consists of huge highs and plenty of challenges, as we navigate the shift of going from couple to family, and all that comes with that. Parenting can bring intense joy and love coupled with demands on our emotions, time, availability and energy as we nurture our children through different stages of their development, whilst trying to balance our own and our partners needs alongside it all. The Gottman's  studied new parents in a longitudinal study and found that 67% of couples experienced a decline in relationship satisfaction in the first three years of their baby’s life, and in this episode Relational Life Therapist Victoria Shalet discusses what's going on for couples and relationships during these parenting years, and what we can do to care for ourselves and our relationships. --- Victoria Shalet MBACP is a Psychotherapist and Certified Relational Life Therapist. She worked as an actor for over twenty years before re-training to be a Humanistic Psychotherapist. After a number of years working with individuals and couples, she was inspired to deepen her training in the US with renowned couple’s therapist Terry Real, and later went on to train with Trauma expert Gabor Maté in his Compassionate Inquiry programme. Alongside her colleague Debbie Isaacs she is the co-creator of “The Couples Therapists” creating content on social media to help couples, and she is the founder of Oxford House Therapy – a therapy practice for different types of therapy in London. Follow Victoria On Instagram At @spaceinmetherapy and @thecouplestherapists --- The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, and author of The Science Of Sex : Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

In this discussion, Avril Louise Clarke, a clinical sexologist and brand manager for The Porn Conversation, delves into the concept of porn literacy as a tool for navigating the evolving landscape of sexual content online. She emphasizes the importance of critical thinking about pornography, distinguishing between fantasy and real-life intimacy. Avril advocates for open family dialogues on sexuality, shares insights on ethical pornography production, and underscores the need for comprehensive sex education to equip younger generations with the knowledge to engage thoughtfully with sexual media.

Adapting your life after an accident or illness is something that many individuals and couples have to go through, but many report sex and intimacy being the part of their lives that they feel least resourced to know how to manage with the big changes that have taken place for them. Knowing where to start, how to talk about it or even how to understand how sex might be affected post injury can feel like a very challenging conversation to have with a medical professional, let alone a partner.   Ed & Lois Jackson are a couple who have been through this first hand, when in their twenties their lives changed overnight when Ed suffered a life changing Spinal Cord Injury and was told he may never walk again. Fast forward a year and Ed was climbing Mount Snowdon, and the couple later founded charity Millimetres2Mountains to help those who have been through life changing illness or injury to face new challenges and re-define their own limitations. A big part of this conversation is about how an injury like this impacted them both as individuals and as a couple, both in terms of their relationship but also sex and intimacy. Ed has Brown Séquard Syndrome meaning that he has paralysis on one side of his body and loss of sensation on the other which means that they have had to be creative and adaptive when it comes to sex, and they share how learning how to communicate, laugh and be curious as a couple have been hugely important parts of the process. --- Ed Jackson's professional rugby career got cut short when he dived into the shallow end of a swimming pool in 2017 sustaining a spinal cord injury at C6/C7. Life changed on a sixpence for both him and his wife Lois. A lot of things were taken away, including Ed's, identity, his bladder and bowel performance and his sexual function. Instead of focusing on what Ed couldn't do they directed all their energy into the things he could. This has led him to climbing mountains, public speaking and the creation of their own charity – The Millimetres 2 Mountains Foundation which uses the outdoors to support other people who have gone through trauma. Alongside co-founding the charity Lois also works as a life coach, a part of which is offering support for their beneficiaries.  Follow Millimetres2Mountains on Instagram at @Millimetres2Mountains and learn more about them at https://www.millimetres2mountains.org/ Follow Lois on Instagram at @LoisJackson8 Follow Ed on Instagram at @EdJackson8 --- The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist, and author of The Science Of Sex : Every Question About Your Sex Life Answered.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

Dr. Stan Tatkin, a relationship expert and co-founder of the PACT Institute, explores the intricate world of attachment styles and their profound impact on intimacy. He argues that all humans have struggles in relationships due to our inherent complexities. The conversation highlights the significance of mutual effort, effective communication, and understanding individual attachment styles for maintaining connections. Tatkin offers insights into reigniting intimacy and fostering deeper emotional bonds, emphasizing the biological foundations of love and the importance of shared experiences.