This week the lads get Andy Tiller in from AsiaInfo to pick holes in Gartner’s industry yardstick tool – the Magic Quadrant. Andy’s got some pretty large bees in his bonnet, and it made for a pretty unapologetic conversation – but at no point do we call them corrupt. Honest. Later on we go over Apple’s bad week, followed by a bit of natter about why no one likes smartwatches. Vodafone gets a pittance of a record-breaking fine, and we bleat on about a Halloween app for Goat-lovers everywhere. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO

This week the guys go over a torrid week for the government following a grilling from Openreach and Virgin Media at last week’s Broadband World Forum; with pretty much everyone in agreement that Britain’s broadband is kinda broken. Next, we get Alex Wood from The Memo in to the studio to fill Scott’s seat and explain to Tim and Jamie why porn is helping the VR industry take off. Turns out there’s some pretty shady stuff going on out in them internets, and the boys try and take stock of how industries and governments can legislate for a technologically-enabled rapid shift in society. Finally, Samsung loses whatever sense of humour it had left after the continually-hilarious Note7 saga. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO

Samsung is still hilarious, and refuses to stop being hilarious. Meanwhile Yahoo relentlessly shoots itself in the foot and Ericsson starts trimming the fat and warns it’s not bringing home that much bacon. Elsewhere the podders ponder who gets to call victim with online harassment – AKA doxing – while the UK and US have basically said AI’s nothing without government meddling. Virgin and BT break up, and BT rebounded by snapchatting some grannies. Oh, and John Legere if you’re listening: come be a guest on the pod and we promise we’ll get your name right. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO

We knew it was too good to last. Scott’s off again this week so Iain Morris from Light Reading is in the studio to help Jamie and Tim figure out how to control AI. We get our heads stuck in the clouds discussing Google’s Pixel launch and how it plans to take on iPhone and Samsung; before moving on to spectrum woes for Three in the UK and the Indian regulator. Yahoo’s naughty behaviour gets found out this week, and Tim recalls his tails from Berlin, where a “mentalist” ripped his head open on stage… metaphorically… while Iron Maiden legend Bruce Dickinson explained why customers are a nightmare for everyone. Finally, we find out what Europeans are searching about British people online. The results are spectacular. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO

The band is back together! After a summer of travels, Jamie, Scott and Tim are reunited at last. The gang analyses the jockish corporate towel-flicking goings-on in the telecoms world over the last seven days, with Apple taking Deloitte for a ride, Cisco’s extra-marital strategizing and Three joining the war against BT. Elsewhere, Bernard’s back with his unique metaphors to explain why certain populist presidential candidates in the States are hilariously incorrect about the “ownership of the internet”. Finally, the boys go over Ofcom’s review of how offensive words and gestures can be used on tele. Of course, it gets a bit out of hand, and Producer Brad’s bleeper button goes into meltdown. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO

Tim’s off searching for Jamie this week, but little does he know that the elusive Welshman has made his way back safe and sound to the podcast studio. Scott dutifully takes care of proceedings this week alongside the returning Jamie and guest Matt Humphries from telecoms-tech firm Babel PR. In this episode the gang goes over Mobile World Congress gripes, broadband bromances, Cisco’s affair with Salesforce, bio-modification gesture-based user interface, Verizon’s shopping spree and the smartphone habits of millennials in the middle of the night. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO

Jamie’s still lost somewhere, probably adrift on a door in the Atlantic Ocean, so Richard Fogg and Paul Nolan from CC Group fill the void. This week we put the coms in telecoms by talking about telecoms media and some of this week’s biggest communications wins and losses, including the #AskJuncker fail, Apple’s tantrum, Samsung’s meltdown and Three’s absolute win by bringing in Game of Thrones star Maisie Williams (AKA Arya Stark). Elsewhere, we look at Telia’s dodgy dealings in Uzbekistan; Tim recites his Dr Seuss-inspired poem on the iPhone flown by Vodafone’s drone; and we ask why New Yorker’s can’t stop watching porn in the street. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO

The podders wipe down the mess caused by the internet after last week’s Applegasm, and assess why Apple’s latest phone is less explosive than Samsung’s. Apple stays on the agenda, sort of, as we look at its ambitions in the content and TV space; Bernard gets back in touch with a fantastic analysis of net neutrality, likening it to toilet paper. Scott drones on about… drones; and the podders finish off by finding out what the adulterer’s mobile phone of choice is. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO

While Jamie traverses the Far East, Ray Le Maistre from Telecoms.com’s sister site Light Reading jumps in for the pod this week. The modified gang tries to get its head around 5G and 4.5G Pro hype while trying to dodge exploding Samsung batteries. Elsewhere, AT&T takes a swipe at Google Fiber with a catty and ill-considered rant, while Virgin Media gets its game back with a bundle taking aim at gaming addicts. Tim pushes BT’s customer experience team to its limits and has a broadbandectomy; SpaceX’s ambitions come crashing back down to Earth, and we comment on the collective pressgasm over iPhone 7 rumours. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO

Things get a bit stalky this week as the gang go over AI surveillance and predictive policing in Chicago. Whatsapp tries its best to disguise self-interest as customer experience; Verizon decides to go it alone in the 5G world; mobile helps the BBC strike gold for Olympics views and the internet does what the internet does best by revealing its least favourite word. Meanwhile, pizzas go aerial with drone delivery and Scott fancies getting a slice of the action; Jamie gives an update on his new life in the smartphone era; and the podders reveal their most-hated buzzword. Stay up to date with the most important telecoms stories from around the world with the Telecoms.com daily newsletter. Delivered FREE and direct to your inbox every day: http://ow.ly/XPA150KWZmO