The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about how to model being a "happy adult" for your kids when you never saw this growing up! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ In my Facebook group which you should join (link above), people were saying I should talk more about average sex vs good sex vs kinky sex. I was saying honestly it is a mindblower to most people that their partner wants their genitals touched prior to intercourse so I would rather spend my efforts helping humanity learn this and other similar level epiphanies if I want to do the most net good. However, sometimes it can be useful to expand the frame and take a 40,000 foot view of sex, which looks at the sex people ARE having and the sex they COULD be having along a spectrum. Most people, even if they are "experienced" (aka what women think of husbands who slept with two more people than they themselves did, possibly only once each) have zero idea what their full sexual potential is, and as a loving partner, it would be awesome for you to try and and show them! Listen for more!

If you need help with intimacy, I have hired a new sexologist that can work in all states and internationally: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/heather-ray-certified-sexologist !! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about how to model being a "happy adult" for your kids when you never saw this growing up! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ So I shared a meme on Facebook about a dude who was wearing a vest in a family picture and the caption was something funny like "My wife wanted me to wear a vest but I'm not a vest guy so we compromised and I wore a vest." Some people got up in arms saying that it is emotionally abusive to want your partner to wear something specific. OMG let's even say this was real and not a joke... well, unless she had a gun to his head, it's not abusive to ask your adult partner to do something for you INCLUDING dress in a way you think is attractive.  All the dudes saying vest guy has no boundaries definitely wish they could ask their wives to wear sexy lingerie, I'm guessing!  Well, if you don't wear a vest when she wants, you are not going to get her to wear crotchless underwear when you want.  Holy shit this is a short sighted, self-indulgent way to view romantic relationships, and dovetails well with my Cult of Boundaries podcast as well as my request from my Facebook group to talk more about kinky sex.  And if you love to hear me rant about societal mores, this episode will be a delight!  Note that if you want to hear me talk about ACTUAL abuse, wait till the end.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about how to model being a "happy adult" for your kids when you never saw this growing up! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Totally!  Like if your spouse was super in love with you and happy and kind, and then they contracted this horrible disease where their genitals fell off and were no longer able to touch anyone because also their skin fell off, you probably should ethically remain married because your partner is a tragic figure and vows are forever.  However, strangely enough, this is an unlikely case.  Here's why "you're only leaving me about sex" is never the full story.

If you need help with intimacy, I have hired a new sexologist that can work in all states and internationally: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/heather-ray-certified-sexologist !! She works with individuals and couples virtually. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about how to model being a "happy adult" for your kids when you never saw this growing up! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ I said it before and I'll say it again. If everything rides on the guy's erection, this ain't gonna work long term. Many women won't think outside the box (the puns are really rolling now) when it comes to orgasms, and it's also fucking boring (and boring fucking!) to only have one way to ever get off. Not to mention it's super anxiety provoking for the guy.... can you imagine if he couldn't get excited or finish unless you got and stayed a certain level of wet for the duration of the encounter?? All this and more. Recommended reading:  https://www.drpsychmom.com/2020/11/07/diversify-your-sex-life-portfolio-for-long-term-success/ https://www.drpsychmom.com/2022/03/26/sex-needs-to-evolve-when-youre-older/

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is when your wife asks "Are you done yet?" and responsive vs zero desire. For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ A lot of guys feel this way and it prevents them from enjoying sex when they have it. They are worried about getting everything they can get out of the encounter because they have no clue when the next one will be.  Here, I give you an easy solve (at least easy if your wife is at least somewhat invested in your happiness, which is a big ask for some)! Listen and learn, grasshoppers.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is when your wife asks "Are you done yet?" and responsive vs zero desire. For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Of course, there are many women for whom the man doing more chores has zero effect on sexual frequency. But there's also many women for whom it works!  Here's how to differentiate! Reference: https://www.drpsychmom.com/2015/10/26/why-wives-who-take-care-of-all-the-housework-dont-want-sex/

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is when your wife asks "Are you done yet?" and responsive vs zero desire. For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Some women struggle with a man who won't commit. Other women struggle with having married a man who didn't want to commit that somehow ended up committing. Here is how to deal with this situation and why you keep getting into it.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about responsive desire vs zero desire and when your wife says "Are you done yet?" For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Is your goal to outsource yourself out of your partner's primary way of feeling loved? What's the end game?  It's worse than you think. 

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is why kids empathize less with more successful parents (especially if they are avoidant!). For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ While I've discussed midlife crises in general and how women change in their 40's and in menopause, I haven't directly discussed how midlife crises look in women. Often, it looks like marital dissatisfaction, which means this episode is important for men to listen to as well!

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is why kids empathize less with more successful parents (especially if they are avoidant!). For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ I see two inflection points with sexual frequency that change it from a quantitative issue to a qualitative one. The first is when frequency drops below what would be necessary for partners to not feel the need to masturbate. The second is when frequency drops below once every two weeks, at which point people start seeing the clinical definition of "sexless marriage" in the distance and when they tend to feel very disconnected. In this episode, I discuss these points and others, and what to do when you see your relationship heading down this path.