Knowledge For Men

Mike Sill the founder of Sunday Scaries a popular CBD brand shares his story, trials and tribulations. sundayscaries.com use promo code KFM for 20% off, discount will end soon!  Become a stronger grounded man, build a high status social life and epic dating life/relationships at kfmlive.com and Andrew Ferebee can personally coach you.

Sam Upton is an actor and writer known for his roles in The Lincoln Lawyer, Gone, and Stand Up Guys. He is also the director and main actor in his most recent movie, Gun. Favorite Success Quote “The greatest revenge is success” ~Frank Sinatra Key Points 1. No One’s Going to Give it To You We live in an era of entitlement. The current generation is filled with individuals who have never had to work for anything in their lives, never had to sweat for a goal, and never had to bleed for their dreams. When reality sets in, and they realize that life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, they panic and cry and loudly scream about how “unfair” life is. Well here’s a little newsflash. Life’s not fair… And no one gives a shit. No one cares enough about you to make your dreams happen for you. If you want something bad enough, then go and get it. Don’t ask for permission, get off your ass and go get it. The sweet nectar of success is reserved for those rare individuals just like you who make the definite decision to become the master of their own fate and the captain of their own destiny. Those individuals who are, as Theodore Roosevelt put it, “Actually in the arena with their faces marred by sweat and tears and blood.” Those are the individuals who shape the world, create great art, build massive wealth, and live a life of happiness and prosperity along the way. What about you? Are you going to bitch and moan and whine about how unfair life is, or are you going to accept your challenges and circumstances and make the definite decision to go out and get what’s yours? Only you can decide. 2. Stop Giving a Fuck  One of the greatest truths of life is this… The fewer fucks you give, the better life you will live. It’s that simple. People in the 21st century simply care too much about the wrong things. We allow the denigrating remarks of passersby’s and internet trolls to damage our self-esteem and derail our mission. We allow the opinions of people who have done next to nothing for us to determine what path we will take and what passions we will pursue. We allow the push and pull of society to rope us into lives that we never wanted to live surrounded by people that we’ve never liked working for a cause that we never believed in. And there’s a simple solution to all these problems. Stop giving a fuck. The less time and energy you allow yourself to waste on the petty garbage and insignificant opinions, the happier you will be. If you are on your purpose, on your mission, and on your path, if you are doing the things that are meaningful to you and waking up each day with a smile, then the rest can fade away into the background. 3. Unplug and Spend Time In Life  We live in such a hyper-connected world that the vast majority of people no longer experience life through their own eyes, they experience it through the lens of the latest smartphone. Instead of going out on dates and connecting with the person across from us, we waste our time Tweeting and texting and Instagramming. Instead of spending time with our wives and children, we waste our evenings surfing social media and watching B-grade, uninspiring garbage on the internet. We aren’t living anymore dammit! And it’s starting to show. Depression, loneliness, and suicide are at record highs (especially among men) and yet we continue moving through life like zombies, attached to our screens. So let me challenge you to change that. Put your damn phone down for an evening. Spend real quality time with your wife and kids. Go hang out with a friend and leave your phones at home. Spend time by yourself with your own thoughts and no stimulation (you just might come up with some phenomenal ideas). Learn to let go of the need for constant stimulation and I promise that your life will be better for it. 4. The Act of Doing Makes You a Success  As men, it is easy to tie our self-worth and perception of our own success to external things. We believe that we are only a success if we have the beautiful girl, the 7-figure business, the Lamborghini, the fame, and the body. But the truth of the matter is that the very act of doing and pursuing our goals is what makes us a success. If you are getting up every day, putting your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel in pursuit of a higher vision and calling, then you are a success. You will not become a success when you achieve some arbitrary goal or ideal, you are a success right now so long as you are in pursuit. So long as you stay hungry, so long as you put in the work, and so long as you never give up, you can go to bed knowing that you are a success regardless of the external circusmtances in your life. 5. F*ck your Feelings and Do What’s Right  There are only two kinds of people in the world, hedonists and stoics. A hedonist does whatever it takes to feel good, a stoic does what is right whether it feels good or not… And unfortunately, we live in a time that is filled to the brim with hedonists. The vast majority of our society allow their whims, emotions, and feelings to dictate their actions instead of their dreams, visions, and moral code. And the results have been pretty catastrophic. If you want to break away from the herd, away from the men who, as Thoreau put it “Lead lives of quiet desperation” then you must master your emotions, thoughts, and actions and force yourself to do what is right even when you don’t feel like it. No… Especially when you don’t feel like it. Fuck your feelings. No one cares how you feel or what emotions are going through your head. You have a responsibility to do what is right regardless of your emotions. So quit trying to feel good and start doing good.

Robb Wolf is a former biochemist,  a health expert, and author of “The Paleo Solution” and (more recently) “Wired to Eat“. Robb is also a consultant at the Naval Special Warfare Resiliency Program. Favorite Success Quote “Fear is the mind eater” Key Points 1. Understand that We are Hard-Wired for a Different Time  One of the biggest problems facing the human race in 2017 (especially those of us living in developed countries) is not terrorism, global warming, or political turmoil… It’s evolutionary mismatch. As a society, we are becoming fatter, more depressed, more anxious, and less social than we have ever been and it is killing us. Obesity is at an all time high, suicide continues to be a leading cause of death (especially among men), more people than ever before are reliant on anti-anxiety and depression medication, and the general populous feels more disconnected than ever before. The simple reason for this is that we are not designed to live in this world. We were designed to walk dozens of miles each day, catch our own meals, live in a close-knit tribe, have regular sex, raise children and die. And nothing could look more different from how we evolved to live than how we are currently living in 2017. While there are dozens of books written on this topic and plenty of solutions to the problem, my goal here is simply to acknowledge what’s going on so that you properly understand the situation and realize that there is hope. Things can change and you can live a healthier, happier, more vibrant life than ever before… But you first have to address the problem. 2. Understand the Importance of Bio-Individuality Even though we understand the problem (evolutionary mismatch), the solution isn’t as cut and dry as one might assume. While there are certainly axiomatic principles that can help you level up your health in record time (follow your circadian rhythm, eat more real foods, and exercise more) the specifics are actually highly bio-individual. What works for one person will not necessarily work for another, because every body is different. Your body responds to substances, sleep patterns, forms of exercise, and supplementation differently from your best friend’s body which responds differently from his girlfriend’s body. This means that you must adopt a very scientific approach to your health. No, you don’t need to go full Tim Ferriss and test hormone levels every night and sleep with crazy wired machines attached to your head. You just need to realize that achieving perfect health is an individual journey and requires experimentation and testing. Try out different methods and techniques and see what works for you. 3. Take Time Each Month to Serve Others Many of you are feeling lost and off purpose. Many of you feel lonely and disconnected. And one of the primary reasons for this is that you are disconnected from other people. Most of us live our lives in a box where we are constantly focused on ourselves, our problems, and our goals. And few of us are ever willing to take a step back and get outside of that box, causing us to feel like we are on the journey alone. If you want to break out of this box, reconnect with others, and gain some perspective on your problems, then I highly recommend that you take some time each month to go volunteer and serve others. This isn’t just a philanthropic thing. Loneliness has been linked to a number of different diseases and problems. So much so that some studies claim lacking a real social circle is worse for you than smoking a pack a day. When you get out of your bubble and go serve those who are in a worse spot than you are, not only will you connect with like-minded individuals and improve your circle of friends, but you will also reframe your problems and stresses, allowing you to handle the challenges of everyday life in a much more effective manner. I know that this particular piece of advice might seem a little “out there” but I challenge you to give it a go. All it takes is a few hours a month, and not only will you be doing good for others, but you might just find your own life changing in the process. 4. Surround Yourself with People Who are Smarter than You  One of the first steps to becoming a more successful in all areas of your life is to surround yourself with people who are better than you in every area of life. If you want to improve your bank account, get around millionaires. If you want to improve your body, befriend competitive athletes. If you want to improve your love life, go hang out with the town “Casanova”. When you are intentional about surrounding yourself with the right people, you will find every area of your life accelerating. They will be able to point out your blind spots, call you on your bullshit, and elevate your thought processes to an entirely new level. Jim Rohn said it best, “You are the average of the five people you spend your time with most.” So be damn selective about who you are spending your time with. 5. Increase Your Income and Decrease Your Expenses While it might seem strange to include financial advice in an article and interview with one of the world’s leading health experts, this one piece of advice could actually have a bigger impact on your health than anything else we’ve discussed so far. How? Because quite simply, money freaking matters. When you are broke, living paycheck to paycheck, your life is harder, plain and simple. That isn’t to say that you can’t be happy, but rather that your overall quality of life is drastically diminished when you lack financial resources. When you are stressed about money, your cortisol levels will shoot through the roof, you will feel like you have less time to spend with the people that you love, you will not be able to afford the food, supplements, and gadgets that can take your health to new levels, and you will not have sufficient time to rest, recover, and recharge. In other words, you are digging yourself an early grave. So if you want to optimize your health, your relationships, and your sense of well-being, optimize your income and expenses. While the number and lifestyle will look different for everyone, a good baseline goal is $75,000/year ($100,000 for those who live in expensive cities). Even though it might be outside the realm of your imagination right now, it’s a very achievable income regardless of your current skills and abilities. And once you can regularly make this income, while reducing your expenses, and working reasonable hours, you will find that your quality of life elevates to new heights.

Mark Goblowsky is an air force veteran, career martial artist, podcaster, author, and entrepreneur. He is on a mission to help others overcome the obstacles in their life based on his own experiences. Favorite Success Quote “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years” ~Bill Gates Key Points 1. Practice Your “Kung Fu” The martial art kung fu literally translates into two words. Effort and time. And the only things that are standing between you and your goals are these two factors. If you can become a master of Kung Fu, a master at putting in the effort over time, you will succeed. We all want to achieve great things, we all want a great life. We want the business, the relationships, and the body. And you can have it! You can have it all. But you must be willing to approach life through the lens of Kung Fu. Put in the effort, be patient with the time, and you will succeed. Because at the end of the day, time is going to pass whether you are doing what you love and pursuing your goals or not. So stop worrying about the outcome and get busy doing what you need to do to create the life that you want to live. If you are willing to be patient, to stick through it when times are tough, and to trudge forward even in the face of adversity, at the end of the day, you will be successful. No one who was truly committed to their craft, dream, or ambition for more than a decade fails. You will have failures along the way, yes. But at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done if you are willing to keep doing the work year in and year out especially when it’s hard, you will succeed. 2. If You Aren’t Happy on the Journey You Won’t Be Happy at the Destination There is a pervasive myth in society that “One day” we will be happy. We believe that when we finally have the six pack, the 7-figure company, the beautiful girlfriend, the house on the beach or the sports car then we will be happy. But the truth is that happiness can be experienced right here and now. And not only can it be experienced now, it must be experienced now. Because if you are not happy on the journey, you will rarely find happiness at the destination. If you cannot learn to be happy while you are building your business, you will not be happy when you sell it for $10 million. If you cannot learn to be happy while you are training your body and building your physique, you will not be happy when you finally attain the look you’ve been longing for. If you cannot allow yourself to be happy while you work to find the woman of your dreams, no relationship will ultimately satisfy you. Happiness is a choice, and if you aren’t choosing to be happy along the journey, you will arrive at the destination and wonder “Is this it?” 3. Resistance Gives You Strength  Most of you reading this want to become stronger. In all areas of your life. But what most of you don’t realize is that strength doesn’t come from ease. If you go to the gym every single day of your life from now until you die and all you do is push against the air, you will never get stronger, you will never build a strong body, and you will never force your muscles to grow. To become stronger, you must push against resistance, you must struggle, you must sweat, and you must bleed. And this doesn’t just apply to the gym. If you want your relationship to be stronger, you will have to face resistance. You cannot have a thriving marriage and never face adversity together. Because it is in times of struggle when love is truly born. It’s only when your marriage is facing resistance in some form or another that it is strengthened. In your business, you will never achieve success if you stay in your comfort zone and never face resistance. Success in business mandates failures. It mandates struggles and resistance that force you to grow, adapt, and evolve with the times. So embrace resistance, for it gives you strength. 4. Understand What is Truly Important  When Mark’s son was a young boy, he and his mother were in a terrible hit and run car accident with a semi-truck. His son suffered from a traumatic brain injury and now suffers from disabilities that will affect the rest of his life. When he got the call that his son was in a coma, how do you think Mark responded? Did he say “Gee, that really sucks… But I’ve got to finish up this project at work” Or “Wow! I will be there later, but I just really need to close this client… They’re worth a lot of money.” Hell no! He dropped everything in his life and was by his son’s side 24/7 for four months. Nothing, not his business, not his finances, not even his health got in between him and his child. And it is in times of severe duress that we realize what is truly important. Most of us spend our lives chasing external validation that is ultimately pointless instead of spending time on what really matters… The people that we love. Yes, you should want to be successful. Yes, you should want to be healthy, wealthy, and wise. But what’s the point if the people you love aren’t there to share it with you. Understand the importance of family, friends, and love and make that your focus in life. Everything else is dust in the wind. 5. When Hope Disappears, So Does Action You must always keep hope, no matter how grim the circumstance. And by hope, I don’t mean positive thinking. Hope is a powerful acronym that you must remember when life becomes hard. Here and now. Opportunity Perseverance Enthusiasm If you wish to keep moving forward and succeeding in life, you must live in the here and the now, you must always look for opportunities in adversity, you must push through adversity, and maintain a constant enthusiasm for success. When you lose hope, you lose the ability to take action. And when you stop taking action… You wither away and die. Never lose hope.

New style episode here hanging with my friend and former client Dave Anderson.  Interested in working with me to become a stronger grounded man? Watch the presentation: www.kfmlive.com

Update on where I've been and some of the recent events i've been going through. Link mentioned on the show: www.kfmlive.com

Leah Guy is an intuitive transpersonal healer, spiritual teacher, professional speaker, and media personality. She has developed a framework to help people transform trauma and pain into peace and wholeness. Using her personal triumphs in addition to more than two decades of working with clients, she has helped people move from fear and disconnection to heart-centered and peaceful living. She is a sought-after inspirational speaker who has appeared on major media outlets as an expert on topics such as meditation, the mind-body connection, energy medicine and chakra balancing, intuition and addiction as well as emotional and spiritual healing. Her down-to-earth, honest and often humorous approach makes her one of the most accessible leaders in the field. Known as The Modern Sage, she is the owner of two companies, Modern Sage, LLC and A Girl Named Guy Productions, LLC, a lifestyle media company. Favorite Success Quote “Fear is our greatest teacher” “To risk nothing is to risk even more” Key Points 1. You Must Continually Embrace Risk  One of the most underrated characteristics of all great people (men and women) is their willingness and enthusiasm to embrace risk. You see, life doesn’t happen in your comfort zone. Good things don’t come to those who sit on their ass and avoid adversity. Success, happiness, and true fulfillment come from facing and overcoming risks on a daily basis. And by “Risk” I don’t mean jumping out of airplanes, quitting your job with no backup plan, or getting a divorce because you haven’t worked on the relationship and you’re unhappy. I mean the simple, small, and uncomfortable risks that make you a better human being. Even seemingly small things can have a huge impact on your life. For some of you, you need to take the risk of taking up a meditation practice. You’re scared to sit by yourself and be with your thoughts, you are terrified of what will come up when you silence yourself and truly listen to your inner voice. You’re scared of what will happen if you actually take the time for yourself to be objective and listen to your heart. And you must take that risk. For some of you, you need to risk the “humiliation” and discomfort of resuming a regular workout routine. You might be scared of what other people will think, scared of how hard it will be, or scared that others will judge you. And you must embrace that risk. And for many of you, there is a much more painful risk that you need to face, maybe it is the risk of quitting a job, leaving a relationship, or relocating yourself. Whatever that risk might be… Do it. Because when you overcome risks, you grow, you become the person that you were meant to be and you 2. Learn to Successfully Fail We have a societal misconception about what success truly means. Most people assume that one is only “successful” if everything goes right. If they have the 7-figure business, the beautiful woman, the jaw-dropping physique, and the house on the beach. But in actuality, your level of success is in direct proportion to the effort that you are devoting to a specific task. For example, if you are trying to grow a business, your success isn’t determined by the bottom line at the end of the quarter, it’s determined by whether or not you were showing up fully present and willing to give your all each and every day. If you come to work, hustle your ass off, leave nothing on the table, and haven’t generated your desired results yet then you can still rest easy knowing that you are a success because you are taking action. The same thing applies to your relationships, health, and finances. As long as you are putting your best foot forward, as long as you are not holding back, as long as you are exerting maximum effort, you are a success whether you have the results yet or not. And when you shift your paradigm around success, you can also shift your paradigm around failure. Failure is no longer defined as “Something not working out”. That’s called a learning opportunity. In fact, “Failures” in business, relationships, and life are necessary to your success. And if you are working your hardest then you can consider any mishap or pitfall along the journey to be a “Successful Failure” You have only truly failed when you have given up or withheld your true power. And if you can become a master at successfully failing in life, then you will be a master of life. 3. Break the Cycle Many of you reading this are in a rut. You are unmotivated, uninspired, and unsure of your next step. And that’s ok.  But it’s not ok for you to stay in that place. You must commit today to break that cycle. And to break out of this cycle requires you to do things that you may never have done before. One of the best ways to break your current cycle is to commit today to serving something to serve someone else. Seriously, take a step back from your own problems and your own headspace and go serve someone in needs. It’s not to say that your issues are not valid, but when you focus on serving others, the struggles that you are facing in your everyday life are immediately put into perspective and you begin to remember just how truly blessed you are. 4. You’ve Gotta “Let it Out”  Look, gentlemen, you need to let it out. Whatever it is. You see, most men hold so much tension and frustration in their chest and they just keep it there, repressing those feelings and never truly freeing themselves from it. Whether it’s the daily stress of work, an unresolved emotional issue you must deal with, or troubles at home. Just let it out. Get in the car and scream at the steering wheel. Curse, yell, spit, and swear all you need to, but just get that shit off your chest. Then once you’ve released that energy, go and talk to someone. Spend some time really delving into the issues that you are facing and allow someone else to come in and shed their light on your circumstances. This one little tip might just change your life. 5. Time Doesn’t Solve a Damn Thing  Time never has, and never will solve a damn thing. The only problem that time solves is the problem of existence. Time will eventually kill you and solve all of your problems, but until the day that it does, only “you” can solve your problems. It’s time for you to step up and look in the mirror. Face the music and face your problems. Whether you have unresolved trauma, a struggling career, a lousy marriage, or deep internal wounds from childhood…. Time won’t solve it. Only you can solve your problems, and you must start by admitting that you have problems to solve. Talk to a mentor, coach, or friend about the problems you are facing and commit to taking small daily actions towards the solutions.

Steve Taylor is the author of several best-selling books on psychology and spirituality and is a senior lecturer in psychology at Leeds Beckett University. For the last five years, he has been included in Mind, Body, Spirit magazine’s list of the ‘100 most spiritually influential living people.’ His books include Waking From Sleep, The Fall, Out of the Darkness, Back to Sanity, The Calm Center and his latest book The Leap: The Psychology of Spiritual Awakening. His books have been published in 19 languages, and Eckhart Tolle has described his work as ‘an important contribution to the shift in consciousness which is happening on our planet at present.’ Steve has a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology and teaches on ITA professional’s on-line MSc in Consciousness, Spirituality and Transpersonal Psychology. His articles and essays have been published in over 40 academic journals, magazines, and newspapers. He writes the popular blog ‘Out of the Darkness’ for Psychology Today magazine. Steve lives in Manchester, England with his wife and three young children. Favorite Success Quote “Finally, it’s clear that fulfillment isn’t a place to seek but the place from which you are seeking That wholeness isn’t a distant future goal but your closest present state And no matter how much success you accumulate or how much failure trails behind you, it’s always enough just to be alive.“ Key Points 1. The Present is All You Have We do not live in a society that values presence. Everything, and I do mean everything, that is pushed on us in the modern world is designed to take us out of the present moment and transport us to some imaginary plane that doesn’t truly exist. Each and everyday big companies inundate us with desires for all sorts external garbage that does little to truly fulfill our deepest desires. Instead of living each moment fully and savoring the sweetness of life, we are constantly in a rush to buy the latest gadget, follow some new trend, or keep up with the Joneses. And in this rush to keep up appearances and live for future goals, we forget to enjoy what is happening right now. Because at the end of the day, the present is truly all that you have. If you are chasing a future goal, you are still chasing it in the present. If you are reminiscing about the past, you are still doing so in the present. But we rarely take the time to sit back and embrace the present moment. We rarely notice the trees swaying in the wind, or the soft sounds of our partner sleeping next to us, or the feeling of the cold hardwood underneath our feet. And when we ignore the present moment, we are ignoring our lives. Because the present is all that we have. 2. Get Recentered  No matter how much you focus on being present, the challenges and struggles of modern life will derail you and cause you to lose your center. And when you find this happening, it is imperative that you take a step back and get recentered. Go for a swim, take some time to go on a run, and pay attention to your sensations. If it is feasible, the best way to find your center and bring more presence into your life is travel. Whenever you travel, everything is new and exciting, it’s like being a child all over again. You don’t know what to expect around the next corner, you aren’t sure what each day will bring, and you are constantly living in a state of wonder and awe. It is truly the best way to bring presence back into your life and find the balance that you have been searching for. And it doesn’t have to be a wild trip either. Just a 2-hour drive can take you to a city or a state that you have never visited before and provide you with a plethora of opportunities to explore and rekindle that child-like wonder and amazement. 3. Focus on “Being” Instead of “Doing” In today’s society, men are conditioned from birth to be “Doers”. We are told to get sh*t done, to make things happen, to hustle, and to grind. And all of those things are great. But they are only one part of the puzzle. The other piece that most men miss is to learn the art of “Being”. Learning to simply sit with yourself, your thoughts, and your current circumstances and to be ok with them regardless of how society might view them. When you focus on being, you will begin to realize that simply drawing breath, that simply having a pulse, simply existing is enough. Being alive is the greatest gift there is, the greatest truth that you can seek, and the greatest goal that you can achieve. And guess what? You’ve already achieved it. 4. Spiritual Awakening is Not About Bliss  All too often, mainstream culture assumes that spiritual awakening is about achieving “Nirvana” or “Bliss” where all of your problems disappear and life is just a constant flow of joy and internal peace. But the true nature of spiritual awakening is not the absence of problems, but rather a greater understanding, acceptance, and capacity to deal with those problems. When you open your eyes to the world of spiritual awakening, your problems will not magically disappear. You will still have bills to pay, a family to care for, issues in your relationships, and physical ailments. However, because you have devoted the time and energy necessary to become more awakened, you will be able to approach these problems from a different space. Instead of being controlled by the problems, you will see them for what they really are and be able to handle them more adeptly and with more peace. 5. Spirituality is About Valuing What You Have At the end of the day, the ultimate lesson of spirituality, presence, enlightenment or whatever else you want to call it is simple… Value what you have in this moment. Some of the most spiritual people I know haven’t meditated a day in their lives, they’ve never read any of the sacred texts, and terms like “enlightenment” seem foreign to them. But they have a deep appreciation and gratitude for what they have. Instead of focusing on what they want and what they don’t have, they find peace and comfort in counting the blessings that already fill their lives. And if you take nothing else away from this interview take that one lesson. Valuing what you already have and being grateful for each breath you take is the ultimate form of enlightenment.

Brett McKay is the founder and editor-in-chief of The Art of Manliness, the largest independent men’s lifestyle magazine on the web with over 10 million monthly page views. Brett earned a degree in Letters (with a focus on Classics) from the University of Oklahoma and graduated from the University of Tulsa College of Law. He lives with Kate, his wife and AoM’s Executive Editor, and their two children in Tulsa, OK. When he’s not talking or writing about manliness, Brett enjoys barbell training and spending time outdoors. Favorite Success Quote “Be useful, not important.” Key Points 1. Focus on Being a Man of Value  We live in a society where everybody wants to be “Somebody.” And while there is nothing inherently wrong with ambition or a drive to become successful, in our modern, ego-driven culture, this desire for fame and recognition has begun to supersede our desire to provide real value as men. We are more worried about our status on Facebook and the number of fans we have on Instagram than the quality of the work that we are producing on a daily basis. And it’s gotta stop. Success is the result of doing your work and doing it with excellence. It’s the result of trying to find ways to serve others, instead of constantly serving yourself. And the sooner that we can embrace this axiomatic truth, the sooner we will be able to live richer, healthier, and more abundant lives. It’s not about you. It’s about the impact you have on others and the legacy that you leave. 2. The Worst Rarely Happens  Mark Twain is often quoted as saying I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. And while the quote itself might have been uttered tongue in cheek, it’s relevance to our modern lives cannot be understated. Yes, you are going to face challenges in your life, you will face difficulty, adversity, pain, and suffering. It’s an inevitability. But the vast majority of your internal worries will never come to fruition. As a society, we spend time locked inside of our heads, mentally plugging through the “What if’s” and “Oh no’s” until our blood pressure is through the roof and our anxiety levels critical. To be an effective risk taker and leader, you must learn to discern between genuinely possible worst-case outcomes and unlikely disasters. Yes, if you quit your job to go full time with your side hustle, it is possible that you might lose everything, go bankrupt, become homeless, and eat out of garbage cans until Elon Musk saves humanity. But it’s not very likely. Chances are, even the worst failure would simply require you to find a new corporate job, live at home for a while, and rebuild yourself from the ground up. There is an element of risk in everything worth pursuing. And as a man, you must learn to cull your fear and worries and realize that despite the perceived risk, the big, scary, life-altering disaster of an outcome that you fear is unlikely at the least and downright laughable at most. 3. Toughen Your “Mental Hide”  With the wide reach of the internet, it is all but impossible to do anything of worth without attracting negative criticism and denigration. Keyboard warriors and airsoft commandos abound, each of them offering a different (and graphically detailed) opinion about why you suck and should immediately quit at your current endeavors. It doesn’t matter whether you are creating products, offering information, or detailing your journey through life… If you do anything for long enough, you are going to have to haters. So what is a man to do? While it might be uncomfortable and difficult, there is certainly merit in accepting and responding to constructive criticism that offers genuine value to you and your brand. However, the vast majority of the emails, comments, and posts that you will find littering your inbox and social platforms are not constructive, they are simply the result of disgruntled individuals with an abundance of time and a lack of common sense. In these situations, you must simply learn to toughen your mental hide. Not everyone will like you. In fact, if you do anything well enough, some people will hate you. And that is ok. You must learn to ignore the haters and stay focused on your dreams and mission. When others try and knock you off course, or make wild accusations, you should learn to take it as a sign that you are doing something right. Because it is a rare occurrence for a man offering little value to attract much attention (positive or negative). So build your mental resilience and learn to be ok with the haters. 4. Focus on Adaptability Not Effectiveness One of the greatest struggles for men of a high caliber is learning to embrace adaptability over effectiveness. Yes, you should have routines and rituals built into your daily life that allow you to create and contribute at a high level, but you must remember one simple truth… Life happens. Things don’t always go according to plan. People get sick, cars break down, the weather changes, you get food poisoning, and your kids get into fights at school. When events like this happen, learning to go with the flow and adapt is paramount not only for success but also for mental well-being and stability. You will not always be able to stick to your morning routine, you will occasionally have to sacrifice your hour of uninterrupted work time to tend to a family emergency, you won’t always be able to get to the gym… And that’s ok. Learn to be like water. Flow from one task and “tragedy” to the next without missing a beat and your quality of life will increase ten-fold. 5. Just Do Something  If you are struggling in life right now, if you are on the fence if you have been wanting to get started on a dream for years but you don’t know where to start… start by doing something. Anything! One of the immutable laws of the universe is that a body in motion will tend to stay in motion, and once you get yourself in gear and begin taking action, you will find that the remaining pieces will begin to fall into place. Want to get in shape but you feel lost in the sea of diets, fads, and “scientifically proven” workouts? Go for a run and do 20 pushups and figure the rest out from there. Want to start a business but don’t know how? Buy a website, write a short ebook, and start creating content and figure the rest out from there. When you start walking, the path will be revealed. But you must start by getting up, lacing your shoes, and taking that first step.

MJ DeMarco is the current founder of Viperion Publishing Corp., a media company focused on online and print content distribution. He also is admin/founder for The Fastlane Forum, the webs’ leading destination forum for start-up, finance, and entrepreneurial business discussions. He was the former start-up Founder/CEO of Limos.com (1997-2007), a global ground transportation aggregator and marketplace that he successfully built and grew into a profitable multimillion dollar company, all with no money, no formal training, and with just a few employees. In 2001, he sold the company and later reacquired the company via bankruptcy reorganization. He later sold the company again in 2007 to a Phoenix-based private equity company. He has authored two best-selling books including The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime and UNSCRIPTED: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Entrepreneurship, his most recent work about the current landscape of life, liberty, and entrepreneurship. You can connect with him and learn more at http://www.mjdemarco.com/ Favorite Success Quote “If you accept conventional wisdom from conventional people living conventional lives. Can you expect to be anything other than conventional?” Key Points 1. Wake Up and See Through the Matrix  You have been lied to. By the government, your parents, and all of society. I am not propagating a conspiracy theory, just sharing the facts. From the day that you are born, you are inundated with a bullshit script that tells you to go to school, get all A’s, go to college, get a safe job, sock aside 10% of your income and invest in mutual funds, skip the lattes, blah, blah, blah…. I am here to tell you… It doesn’t freaking work! How many multi-millionaire 65-year-olds do you know? How many wildly wealthy retirees have you met (who worked a dead-end job for the past 40 years)? And more importantly, if you have met any of these people how many were happy and fulfilled? How many were free? The script that you were fed since childhood doesn’t work. So it’s time to wake up and flip the script. If you want freedom, if you want to retire, if you want to live a life that you actually enjoy, a life where you aren’t giving up 5 days of your life in exchange for 2 (a pretty shitty ROI if you ask me) then the first step is simply acknowledging that there is a problem with the script you have been fed. Wake up, see through the matrix, and be ready to take the action required to change it. 2. The Rich Don’t Get Rich from the Script… They get rich from preaching the script! One of the biggest misconceptions about success is that the rich achieved their current success levels by following the script you see laid out for you. They didn’t. They got rich by preaching the script. They got rich by selling you on the idea of mutual funds (which they own) and stock market investments (which they control). They didn’t get rich investing in any of those things themselves, they got rich by selling that garbage to you. While compiling research for his new book, MJ examined some advice being given by Forbes.com on the topic of long-term financial wealth. The article in question was recommending a long-term mutual fund strategy starting as young as possible. Then MJ decided to see how many Forbes cover models had actually followed that advice to get rich. The results? Zero, nada, zilch. None of the world’s rich and powerful had eaten their own dog food or taken the medicine they were prescribing to everyone else. Just because you see Warren Buffet or Charlie Munger providing you with an investing strategy reliant on a long term yield of 8% doesn’t mean that it’s a strategy they actually leveraged to create their own wealth. When you are cognizant of this you will be much more wary about who you take advice from and why. 3. Learn to Provide Relative Value on a Massive Scale and You Will Become Rich  Do you want to know the secret to becoming rich? Even the secret to getting rich quick? Well, listen up… I am about to share it. Provide relative value on a massive scale. If you do this, you will become rich, and chances are, you will become rich a helluva lot quicker than you would have playing the “Get rich slow” game. But how does one go about providing relative value? It’s actually a lot simpler than you might think. The first step is to identify a problem or an inefficiency in the marketplace. If you see a problem and you have the ability to fix it, you have found your “in”. Furthermore, if you look at an already “saturated” market and you notice that there are numerous inefficiencies in the day to day operations (customer service, fulfillment, product quality etc.) you can use this knowledge to break into an otherwise full market. 4. Happiness Comes from Autonomy Not Money  So many people assume that more money will make them happy. That going from $20,000 to $200,000 to $2,000,000 will drastically boost your happiness and levels of fulfillment. And yes, money matters. In fact, it matters a lot. And to a certain extent, money will make you happy. However, if you look at the research compiled by the leading experts in the field of psychology, after about $70,000 a year ($110,000 for those of you living in more expensive cities) increasing your income will not drastically increase happiness. Increasing your autonomy and freedom, however, will. Your levels of happiness are directly correlated to the amount of freedom that you have in your life. Do you have the power to choose when you wake up? Do you have the power to choose when you work and what you work on? Do you have the power to choose who you work with? Your end goal should be to work until the answer to all of the above questions is a resounding yes. Because if it’s not, even $10,000,000 in the bank won’t make you happy. 5. You Only Achieve Balance Through Imbalance  Do you want a balanced life? A life where you have the freedom to devote plenty of time to your body, your family, your wife, your kids, and your hobbies? Great! So does everyone else. But if you want to achieve balance, then you must first commit to several years of imbalance. You can only achieve balance when you are willing to put in the sacrifices up front to generate the money you need to live the life you want. It’s that simple. No one became a millionaire working 35 hours a week, spending their mornings doing hours of meditation, and having lazy afternoons with their spouse. They became a millionaire by working 12 hours a day 7 days a week for 2-3 years and then sitting back and reaping the rewards of those few years for the rest of their lives. So if you want balance, commit to a period of imbalance. The people who truly love you will weather the storm and stick with you through it all.