Knowledge For Men

Steven DeSalvo’s first book ‘Relationship Dynamics’ in the EVOLVE series helps to answer the question: ‘How can we change our world and the course of human evolution with positive outcomes for this planet and all of its inhabitants? This first book in this series has helped many to change and navigate to healthier relationship dynamics. As a certified Permaculturist, his goal is to serve others in the attaining their highest evolutionary potential through writings and personal appearances to increase awareness and personal responsibility. He moved to northern California in 2011 where he now resides and works as an independent writer, publisher, speaker and life coach. Often called a Renaissance man, Steven DeSalvo has a diverse background of creative, artistic, business and personal interests including writing and blogging on his web site www.BecomeAnAdult.com. Favorite Success Quote “Live your true authentic self”~Steven DeSalvo Key Points 1. Introspection is the First Step to Better Relationships You will never succeed in relationships with others until you are in a great relationship with yourself. And creating a great relationship with yourself requires that you spend time in introspection, truly learning who you are and falling deeply in love with yourself. If you want to develop healthy relationships with others, start by spending time by yourself and investing in the man that you want to be, the rest will follow. 2. You Have to Create Systems for Conflict Resolution In all relationships, no matter how “perfect” they may seem, you will face conflicts. It is inevitable. But what separates relationships that last from those that crash and burn is. There is such a thing as an elegant argument, but you have to be willing to let go of your need to be right. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes, truly listen to them and what they are saying, not just the words that are coming out of their mouths, but the underlying message behind everything that they say. If you do this, your relationships will be happier, you will be happier, and life will be far more fulfilling. 3. A Healthy Relationship is Two People Setting Each Other Free A healthy relationship is two people setting each other free, it is not one person completing another person, or one individual trying to fix another individual, it is two whole individuals who both have something unique to offer each other, coming together and sharing their gifts, talents, and love with one another. If you get into relationships looking for someone to complete you, you will always be disappointed, but if you go into relationships looking for someone who is already complete whom you can join with and create an amazing life together, you will live a life of fulfilling and happy relationship.

Neil Strauss is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Game, Rules of the Game, Emergency, and Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead and The Truth, An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships He is also the co-author of three other New York Times bestsellers – Jenna Jameson’s How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, Mötley Crüe’s The Dirt and Marilyn Manson’s The Long Hard Road out of Hell. A writer for Rolling Stone, Strauss lives in Los Angeles. Favorite Quote “The underlying cause of most unfulfilled lives, is simply that we are too close to ourselves to see clearly enough to get out of our own way”~Neil Strauss Key Points 1. Understand how to Gauge Feedback Life will often give you feedback about how you are doing across various areas. You may find yourself repeating the same patterns, getting into the same type of relationships, or making the same mistakes. Whatever the case, if you want to make a change you have to gauge feedback. You have to look at the patterns in your life and discover what lesson they are trying to teach you. What does it say about you and your life that you are constantly dating the same type of girl and falling into the traps of “project dating”? What can you learn from the fact that you are constantly losing jobs after a few months? Take a cold hard, honest look at your life and look at what the feedback is telling you and then change accordingly. 2. Your Level of Self Esteem will Equal the Level of Your Relationships Have you ever heard the phrase opposites attract? Well that’s bull shit. Like attracts like, and if you are finding yourself getting into relationships with women where you are both in an unhealthy emotional relationship, odds are, your own self esteem is lacking. If you want to attract better women, first become better yourself and change what you accept from others and from yourself. If you have low self esteem you will never be able to attract a woman with high self esteem, and if you have high self esteem, you will never get sucked into a toxic relationships with a woman who has low self esteem. 3. Finding Your Passion is Simple If you want to find your purpose, and passion, do stuff you love. That’s it. If you love doing something, then keep doing it, don’t worry about whether it’s your real purpose or whether you should change careers to follow the money, simply do things that you love doing and you will never fail.

Ryan Michler is the founder of the Order of Man blog and podcast which helps men to master the 8 core areas of their life. He is also the founder of his own financial planning firm and a veteran of the Iraqi war. Favorite Success Quote “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, and most of them never happened”~Mark Twain Key Points 1. Most of Your Fears Will Never Be Realized  Something that most men never realize until it is too late, is that most of the things that they fear will never come to fruition, and lead lives of quiet desperation, paralyzed by fear, and unable to take action. Odds are, if you start that business you won’t go bankrupt, if you take that trip you won’t get kidnapped and murdered, if you ask that girl out you won’t get wine splashed on your face and cursed out. Most of your fears are completely irrational and will never actually happen. Realize this, take the steps necessary to mitigate risks, and GET ON LIVING! 2. Who Are You Not to Start? One of the questions that inevitably comes up for most men whenever they look to start a business, improve their body, or their dating lives is “Who am I to do this?” Let me ask you a better question “Who are you not to do this?” Are you really so selfish that you would rob the world of your gifts, talents, and abilities out of fear? Are you really so selfish that you would rob your family, your friends, and your country of the amazing changes and difference that you can bring about simply because you don’t feel worthy? How dare you even consider keeping your gifts inside of you! You have a responsibility to share yourself and your gifts with the world, in fact, you cannot be a “real” man until you do so. 3. Take Small Steps to Get Where You Want  Whenever you have a big goal, it’s easy to get frustrated and overwhelmed with how far you are from your goal. But the simple way to get around this frustration is to take small daily action. If you want to start a business, begin by simply writing on your blog every night for an hour after work, if you want to get in better shape, start by doing 10 pushups every morning and adding one each day, if you want to get better with women, start by just casually talking to girls in line at the grocery store. Your goals don’t have to be big and scary. Start small and keep taking daily actions and you will get there. 5. Self Mastery is About Virtue  Often times, people wonder what the meaning of self master is, and simply put, it’s about mastering virtue. It’s about integrity and doing the right thing even when it’s hard. It’s about saying no to watching adult websites even though you want to, about saying no to having another drink despite the jeers of your social circle, it’s about staying faithful to your spouse, and it’s about doing what you said you would do no matter what.

Richard La Ruina is an entrepreneur London’s top dating coach, and author of “The Natural.” He has spent the past 10 years of his life building his company PUA training and traveling the world teaching men how to have better relationships and overcome their limiting beliefs with women. Favorite Quote “Do not think that what is hard for you to master is humanly impossible. And if it is humanly possible, it is within your reach”~Marcus Aurelius Key Points 1. What One Man Can Do Another Man Can Do  If there is anything you want to accomplish, no matter how difficult and impossible it may seem, know that if one man can do it, so can you. Whether your goal is to create a 7 figure lifestyle business, date the girl of your dreams and overcome your social anxiety, or build the ripped sexy physique you’ve always dreamed of, if someone else has achieved it so can you. What one man can do, another man can do. If it’s been done it can be done again. 2. Learn to Delegate Effectively  As you work towards building a life on your terms you have to realize that there will come a point when you have to let go and learn to delegate. The goal of every entrepreneur should be to run his business and not let his business run him. If you can build an incredible team who can effectively do the things which you dislike and allow you to focus all of your energy on the things that you enjoy, your life and your business will flourish and you will experience more fulfillment and joy as a result. 3. Freedom Brings More Happiness than Money A mistake that many novice’s make when it comes to the pursuit of happiness is assuming that more money will always mean more happiness. The truth is that happiness comes from having an impact and having freedom. Who do you think is happier? The corporate CEO earning $2,000,000 a year who works 80 hours a week with only one weeks vacation, or the lifestyle entrepreneur who earns $90,000 a year and spends his time traveling, enjoying time with his family, and pursuing his passions? Pursue freedom, not an extra 0 in your bank account. 4. Stuff Doesn’t Make the Man  So often in dating and relationship, men think that if they have all the right stuff, all the money, the nice clothes, the expensive cars, then attracting beautiful women will be a cake walk. However, nothing is further from the truth. Material objects don’t make a man attractive, personality, charm, passion, and humor are what make a man attractive. While money can certainly boost your odds once you have the character traits in place, they do not work as an end all be all. 5. You Can’t Find Your Purpose without Exposure So often you hear people complaining that they do not know their purpose and their passions, but the simple fact is, they haven’t gotten their ass away from the TV in weeks and have experienced so little of life, they wouldn’t know their passion if it kicked them in the balls. If you want to find what your purpose is and find what you are passionate about, you have to expose yourself to new and exciting things, take that salsa class, start that business, try things and fail. Only by exposing yourself to new things will you have a chance at finding that one thing that you want to dedicate part of your life to.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby holds a PhD in counseling psychology and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She is also a board-certified life coach based in Colorado. Dr. Bobby has appeared numerous times on news programs around the country (FOX 5 New York, CBS News Denver, FOX 35 Orlando) as a relationship expert, and has been featured on Time.com and in the New York Post, Natural Health magazine, and New York Magazine. She is one of nine national dating coaches trained at the headquarters of Match.com and is a featured expert with EXaholics.com, a 12-step breakup recovery platform. Favorite Success Quote “Act from your values instead of your feelings” Key Points 1. Internalizing Your Problems will not Solve Them  So often as men, after something that is emotional and difficult, we decide to internalize our emotions due to the societal conditioning (e.g. just be a man and get over it). However, this path rarely if ever is the solution. Men were made for companionship and finding a friend or family member who can help them cope with the pain and be there to hold the space whenever they are struggling is absolutely essential. If you are not already, find a mentor or a men’s group where you can be yourself and talk about your issues without judgement. Breakups suck, they suck worse alone. 2. Stressful Relationships Create More Intrigue  One of the more interesting things about relationships is that relationships which have an element of “stress” or uncertainty and mystery tend to be more intense and more emotional, regardless of how much face time you got with the person. As your emotions are triggered with all of the excitement and confusion around your partner and their upcoming actions, you begin to become emotionally invested. This is why relationships that may have been short lived can still be emotionally devastating when they finish. Realize that stressful relationships are a double edged sword. While they can elicit a great response from women and create a number of amazing adventures together, they can also do a lot of emotional damage if not handled properly. 3. You Have to Realize that Ex-aholism is a Genuine Problem Because of how our society views break ups and relationships, it is often easy to fall into the trap of believing that ex-aholism is not a real problem, even when you find yourself up until the early hours of the morning Facebook stalking your ex girlfriend. Like any addiction, the first step to recovery is admitting that your ex is a problem and is still plaguing your emotional life. Once you do this, you are operating from a place of power where you can move forward in your recovery. 4. This too Shall Pass Something you must realize as you go through all the phases of recovery is that this too shall pass. Your biochemistry is messed up from the last relationship and it’s a natural part of human life. Realize this and accept that there will be pain for a while but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. You will be able to move on and have the relationships you’ve been wanting for so long. You will create the life you have been dreaming of and you will no longer struggle with depression over your ex. This too shall pass, just hold on and make it through.

John Lee Dumas is the host of the wildly successful 7-day podcast, Entrepreneur on Fire, and creator of several high level masterminds and business courses for aspiring entrepreneurs and podcasters. John has created a multimillion dollar company with Entrepreneur on Fire and continues to grow his brand and business with books, courses, and seminars. Favorite Success Quote “Try not to become a person of success but rather a person of value”~Albert Einstein Key Points 1. Work on Being of Value So often in today’s society and achievement driven market place, we focus so heavily on being a man of success that we forget to be a man of value. We worry more about how others perceive us and how our possessions are ranked against other men that we never pause and slow down to realize that the important thing is who you are and not what you have. So focus on being a man of value, a man of character, of honesty, of kindness, and compassion, and everything else will follow. 2. Embrace the 7-2 Lifestyle  If you want to experience financial freedom and really live the life of your dreams, you need to get on your grind and embrace the 7-2 lifestyle. Aka working from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m. If you have a family, with bills, a house and all the other bells and whistles and you aren’t pleased with where you are, then investing your time in the evenings on your side hustle is truly the best way to escape the grind and achieve the financial freedom you desire. 3. Provide Great Value and the Money will Come  Most of us who start businesses expect to see revenue flow immediately, however, this is almost never the case. If you want to build a kickass income online, then you have to start with offering kickass value for free to your audience. You have to give away your best work, build trust and get raving fans, and after a period of time (it took John 9 months of daily podcasts before he made any income) you will reap the financial rewards. 4. Invest in Yourself and Get Out of Your Comfort Zone People will often say that once they are successful, then they will start investing in themselves, in their health, their knowledge, their abilities etc. however the truth is that you will never achieve any real success until you start investing in yourself and getting outside of your comfort zone. The quickest way to ensure financial freedom and success is through massive personal development, because their is rarely a man who’s income exceeds his level of personal development. Realize that this doesn’t have to be expensive either. You can rent a book from a library, find old personal growth tapes online, take cold showers, journal, or even use your work as a way to grow your patience and tenacity. Do whatever you have to do, but keep on growing. 5. Balance is Key For type-A “alpha” males, taking time off and balancing their work and life is often difficult. It’s difficult to make time for yourself, to just allow yourself to relax and watch TV or go out at the end of the day, but it is necessary. Unless you are a somewhat crazy, Gary Vaynerchuk type guy who derives all of his fulfillment from work and achievement, taking time for yourself and taking time to build relationships and fun into your life is a must. So treat yo’self and just relax.

Cade Courtley was born in Columbus, Ohio and raised in Boulder, Colorado where he spent much of his early life in the outdoors. He graduated from the University of San Diego with a degree in Business Administration and was commissioned (ROTC) into the United States Navy as an Ensign. A standout from the beginning of his military career as a Naval Officer, Courtley was the Class Leader in his BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/ SEAL) training.  After 19 months, two Hell Weeks, broken left leg (twice), a broken right leg, and a fractured skull, LT Courtley graduated (CLASS 202) and became a Navy SEAL.  He was then chosen to attend the elite SEAL Sniper school, privilege only given to a select few. His strong background in military Special Operations made him the obvious choice to Host and Produce the Spike TV/Discovery International original series “Surviving Disaster” (2010) that to date has aired in over 150 countries. Author can now be added to Courtley’s list of accomplishments when the folks at Simon & Schuster decided to publish SEAL Survival Guide “A Navy SEAL’s Secrets to Surviving Any Disaster.” (2012) As well as Host of the original TV series “America Unplugged” (2014) Cade is also the founder of Victory Coffee. Favorite Success Quote “If it was easy everyone could do it” “You have to get your butt kicked every once in awhile” Key Points 1. You Need to Constantly be Challenged One of the reasons that Navy SEALs are the best of the best is because they are always being challenged and forced to grow. Obvious from their motto “The only easy day was yesterday” Seals believe that to be the best, you have to push yourself beyond your perceived limits, and they do this every single day of training. Whether or not you want to be a SEAL, the lesson remains the same. Men need challenge, they need adventure, they need to do something other than sit in a cubicle. Start challenging yourself today. Get outside, exercise, take a cold shower, give up a bad habit, learn a martial art; do whatever you need to do to get out of your comfort zone and stretch yourself to new limits. 2. You have to Find a Strong Why  At BUD/s there is an attrition rate of nearly 80%, meaning that for every 10 recruits who show up on day one of training, 2 will graduate. Although there doesn’t appear to be much rhyme or reason as to who makes it and who doesn’t physically, the one thing that all successful SEALs have in common is a strong why. You have to have a strong enough reason why you are doing what you are doing to get you through the inevitable bad times. Whether you are in entrepreneurship, fitness, family or war, you have to have a reason for what you are doing and it has to be strong. 3. Train in Peace so You Don’t Bleed in War One of the core principles of SEAL training is to sweat hard in peace, so you bleed less in war. In layman’s terms, this means that you have to put in the work before the stuff hits the fan. You must develop yourself into a grounded, self reliant man before you meet the woman of your dreams, you must save up and be financially intelligent before recession hits, you must work hard at your fitness before some sort of physical disaster arises. Prepare now so that you have peace of mind later. 4. Find Your Passion and Follow It  Life is freaking short. Too darn short to waste in a cubicle doing something that is uninspiring and boring. Find your passion and follow it, because God only knows when your last day is. You might not have another tomorrow and the worst thing in the world would be to get to the other side and think to yourself “I really blew it, did I even matter?” Do yourself a favor. Follow your passion and make your life count

Ex-Googler Filip Syta left the tech world to write books and his debut literary novel tells you why — in a satirical, true and unsavory tale, revealing the savagery beneath the shiny veneer of Silicon Valley.   In 2011, Syta graduated with a master’s degree in entrepreneurship from Lund University, Lund, Sweden. He aspires to make readers identify the truly important things in life. Favorite Success Quote “Find what you love and let it kill you”~Charles Bukowski Key Points 1. Never Allow Life to Rob you of Self Reliance  Often times it is easy to become complacent and allow life to rob you of your self-reliance. You find a job with great benefits, you find a wife who takes care of all of the chores, whatever happens, life becomes too cozy. As a great Persian general once said “Soft lands make for soft people” Never become soft. You need to be able to take care of yourself and get things done, if you can’t be dropped into a new city all by yourself, find a job, run a household, and build a social life, then something needs to change. 2. Focus on Your Passion, not Your Paycheck  People often spend so much time following the money, doing things that make the miserable, doing things that take away from their family lives, that take away from their health, and destroying your relationships. While money is important and necessary, doing things that you love and making an impact is far more important. At the end of the day, the cars you drove and the houses you lived in won’t matter. The 0s at the end of your paycheck won’t matter, but what will matter is how you lived your life, the people you impacted, and the passion that filled your days. 3. The Rewards are There  Whenever people talk about passion and pursuing your dreams, there is also an inevitable conversation about “the grind,” because greatness doesn’t come without struggle. Following your passion is hard, doing what you love is hard. It is much easier to simply find a safe job that you don’t hate, get into a comfortable relationship that you know will, at best, be mediocre, and not get fat. Putting it all on the line and struggling through low income, loss of love and friendship to achieve a distant goal is difficult. However, the rewards are there. Once you put the work in, you will see results. Don’t stop 3 feet from gold. Keep pushing and pursue your dreams because the rewards are there.

Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Running Press, 2003) Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications. Through his book, online classes, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped change the lives of countless men and women around the world. Favorite Quote “If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun”~Audrey Hepburn Key Points 1. Nothing Hidden Nothing Half-assed To stop being the nice guy and unleash your inner alpha, you have to stop hiding. Stop hiding what you are thinking because you are afraid of what other people will say about you. Stop hiding your thoughts and feelings towards women because you are afraid it will upset them and cause tension. Stop bs'ing people to make them happy. Be you Once you stop lying and keeping things hidden, you must stop doing things halfway. If you are going to do something, go all in, hold nothing back. If you are half in, it is probably a sign that you are doing something that is incongruent with who you are and your mission in life, and you should likely reevaluate your reasons for doing it. 2. You Already Have Enough Information The problem facing most guys today is not lack of information, but rather a lack of action on the information they already know. You already know everything that you need to know to begin taking the action that will help you achieve your goals in your dating, physical, and financial lives. It’s simple. To be healthy, eat whole foods and exercise everyday. To get good with women, talk to more women. To become rich, work hard on a side hustle until you can quit your job and then save and invest at least 15% of your income. Simple right? But are you taking the action? 3. Women Need Emotional Tension Something that most men do not understand is that women want positive tension in their lives (why do you think they enjoy those damn soap operas?). They want a man who will challenge them and tease them. They want a man who is completely unafraid of their reaction. The best ways to build emotional tension are to touch, tease, and tell. Touch her playfully throughout the interaction. Touch her arm, spin her, hold her hand, break the touch barrier, the sooner the better. Tease her in a kind hearted way that shows you are a challenge and may even get close to crossing the line every once in awhile. And finally, just freaking tell her what it on your mind. Don’t play games and don’t kid people. Build the tension and be brutally honest. (Touch tease and tell)

Raised on the South Side of Johannesburg, South Africa, Rodney King has been fighting for nearly his entire life. Rodney has been practicing martial arts since a young adult, using his skills to protect himself from violence in his school and community. At 17 Rodney was kicked out of his home by his abusive, alcoholic mother. Now, many years later, Rodney coaches and trains special forces soldiers, entrepreneurs, and other high performers in martial arts and self management. He has written a book called “Full Contact Living“ and is completing his PHd in embodied leadership. Favorite Success Quote “The principles of success are easy to understand but hard to master” Key Points 1. In Order to Have Success You Have to Put in the Work Success does not come without work. No matter who you are or how good you believe you are, success does not come without work. You have to put your nose to the grindstone and work, sometimes for years before your goals will come to fruition. You have to go through the phase of being at the bottom of the totem pole, being completely incompetent before you can become the master. In order to have success, you have got to put in the work! 2. Perfection is an Illusion No matter how good you become, you will never be perfect. Perfectionism is a disease that prevents you from living your life to the fullest. If you want to perform at your best, let go of perfectionism, you will never be perfect, but you can be excellent. You will never be perfect, but you can become a master. 3. Your Body’s Attitude is Crucial  Managing your state is an essential part of success. If your body is slouched and appears weak, you will also feel weak. However, if you have strong posture, stand up straight, smile, and take deep breaths, you will feel powerful and in charge. Your state helps you to manage your life and take better charge of your emotions and mental state. Learn to master it and there is nothing that you cannot do. 4. Learn What You Need to Learn, Set the Intention and Take Action The simplest formula for success is this. Learn what you need to learn, set your intention, and take the action. If you want to become a successful entrepreneur, read, get mentors, and take course until you have the knowledge that you need, set your goal, and start taking massive action to achieve it. No matter what your goal is, this formula will be the same whether you want to gain muscle, get better with women, become a great father, or start a billion dollar business.