Knowledge For Men

Frank Miniter is an author and investigative journalist with a penchant for outdoor adventure. He has floated the Amazon, run with the bulls of Pamplona, hunted everything from bear in Russia to elk with the Apache to kudu in the Kalahari and has fly-fished everywhere from Alaska’s Kenai to Scotland’s River Spey to Japan’s freestone streams. Along the Along the way, he was taught to box by Floyd Patterson, spelunked into Pompey’s Cave, climbed the Gunks, and graduated from the oldest private military college (Norwich University) in the U.S. He was a Senior Editor at Outdoor Life magazine and was the Executive Editor of American Hunter magazine. He is also the author of This Will Make a Man of You and The Ultimate Man’s Survival Guide.  Favorite Success Quote “I like a man who grins when he fights” ~Winston Churchill Key Points 1. You Need to Stand Up for Yourself The evolution of society and rapid shift in perceived gender roles has created a world in which manliness and masculinity are concepts that are ambiguous and difficult to explain, at best. Yet no matter what your beliefs are pertaining to modern masculinity, I think everyone can agree on one simple fact. You cannot consider yourself a true “man” unless you are willing to stand up for yourself, what you believe, and those you love. I want you to imagine John Wayne, Steve McQueen, or even a character like Tyler Durden in Fight Club are sat at a table in a bar, surrounded by friends and family. A stranger from another table comes over and starts insulting one of his family members, bringing up some past feud and looking to cause trouble. What do you think they would do? Would they cower in their seat, avert their eyes, and start nervously twitching? Or would they get out of their seat, square up with the aggressor, look them in the eyes and invite them to leave before they had a real problem? I think we all know the answer. Being a real man has nothing to do with loving or looking for violence, but it has everything to do with being willing to take a stand for yourself or the things which you believe. In the 21st century, it is important to realize that this rarely (if ever) means physical confrontation. Taking a stand for yourself can be as simple as telling your boss that you need a raise because you have been working harder than anyone else and have measurable results to prove it. It can mean speaking candidly with your significant other about the way that they have been addressing you in public situations and informing them that their actions are inappropriate. And yes, occasionally, when all other options are exhausted, it can mean taking the gloves off and throwing a mean right hook when someone truly steps out of line. Never be afraid to stand up for yourself, your friends, or your values, because at the end of the day it is better to live a short life where you face your fears and live boldly than a long life as a coward. 2. Life is Meant to be Lived in Community  10,000 years ago on the plains of the Savanna, men lived in communion with one another. They lived together, ate together, hunted together, fought together, and died together. Town elders would lead the tribe and create rituals and rites of passage for young men to pass through in order to become a man. The warriors of each tribe relied on each other and trusted the men around them with their lives. And for hundreds of thousands of years, this is the way that we as a species, and more specifically, we as men, have evolved. We live in the most socially disconnected time in human history, and despite all of our technological advancements and the rapid growth of social media and other online platforms, the problem is not getting any better. Men struggle to find meaning and purpose in life, they are lost and confused about who they are and what it means to be a man, they are lonely and afraid and depressed, and it is due, in large part to our lack of community. We no longer live in tribes. If we wanted to, there are many among us who could limit our face to face interaction with others to less than once a week when we go out for groceries. Men no longer go to other men for advice and emotional support. We no longer have tribe elders who can guide us and mentor us. With the exception of military servicemen, we no longer have brothers in arms who have struggled through life with us and been there for us through thick and thin. And we are paying the price. Men are suffering from depression and suicide at alarming rates and society tells us to simply take another pill or get a new prescription, instead of being told to build a band of brothers. If you want to succeed in life, if you want to be truly happy and successful, then you need to have a group of men around you who you can trust, you need to have a community of like-minded individuals who will build you up and hold you accountable and who will be there for you when you are on cloud nine and rock bottom. 3. Manhood is Defined by Your Values and Your Code  Manhood has meant something different to nearly every culture throughout history. The Vikings version of manhood was markedly different from the Greek’s which was markedly different from the Apache’s. But the one thing that all of these ancient cultures had in common is that their ideals of manhood were derived from a code. Every great “manly” culture built their foundation of masculinity upon an ethos, a way of life, and a code of honor and conduct based on the values of their unique societies. For some cultures mercy and reason were at the forefront of their code, for others it was power and justice. The truth of the matter is, there is no one code that will work universally for every man. We all have different realities, different religious and political beliefs, and different lenses through which we view the world around us. This means that all of us will function under a different code and live by different values. And while it is extremely important which values you have and uphold (integrity, honor, service, and generosity should be at the top of your list) it is more important that you uphold a set of values that make you a better man and help you contribute to society in a more meaningful way. 4. You Need to be a Well-Rounded Man  So often in our modern society, we are quick to judge and label certain activities as unmanly, red neck, or “posh”. Many see hunting and marksmanship as a lower class activity for camouflage wearing, tobacco chewing country boys. or they see dancing as a “gay” and unmanly activity in which no They see dancing as a “gay” and unmanly activity in which no self-respecting man would participate. Or they say that horseback riding and poker are activities that are only appropriate for trust fund babies and the super rich. But you need to remember that an essential part of modern manliness is being able to participate in a wide variety of activities and show yourself to be well-rounded both in your skills and intellect. You need to become, as the rampaging viral internet memes suggest, “A man who can do both.” You need to be able to be a diplomate and a fighter, to speak well among the scholars of academia and the blue collar workers down at the bar. You need to be comfortable both in a suit and tie and in camouflaged jacket. You need to be someone who is able to hold himself in any situation and is unafraid of new things, no matter what stigma is attached to them. 5. Show Respect to Others  I don’t care whether you are living in an incredible community of amazing men, living by a code, and the most well-rounded person in the world, if you are not extending respect and love to the people in your life, then you are not a true man. Period. End of story. No one can call himself a man if they are not respecting the people in their lives, if they are not loving others, and if they are not following the “golden rule.” Respect others and earn the respect of others. That is where true manliness lies.

Internationally renowned human emotion, connection, and cognition expert Tony Selimi is a coach and the author of #Loneliness and A Path to Wisdom. He is currently traveling the world, sharing his message of transformation and connection. Favorite Success Quote “I embrace equally both support and challenge” ~Dr. John DeMartini Key Points 1. You Must Embrace Both Sides of Life  Life is not comprised of just the good or just the bad. It is a beautiful dichotomous dance that blends together both exuberant highs and devastating lows meant to mold us, change us, and teach us. While modern pop psychology gurus would have you believe that you should ignore any pain and struggle in your life and simply live in a state of constant and never ending euphoria, the simple truth is that life is beautiful because of the pain and struggles that we face. Without the pain of discipline, there would be no joy in success. Without the hurt of loss, there would be no satisfaction in gain. Life requires the good and the bad to play out like the masterfully written movie that it is, and the sooner you learn to embrace both sides of life, the sooner you will be able to live up to your true potential. 2. Loneliness Affects Every Area of Your Life Often times, as men, we revel in the concept of solidarity. We love the thought of being the lone wolf, outnumbered and against the world achieving greatness all by his own accord. And nothing could be more damaging or destructive to our overall health and well-being. Whenever you live your life out of communion with others, whenever you lack strong bonds and friendships, and whenever you isolate yourself from the world, you are not only damaging your psyche, but your physical well-being and genetic expression as well. Loneliness has been shown to cause disease, mental illness, and even alter your genes in a very real and powerful way. There is nothing manly about depression and sickness, so quit trying to go it alone and invest into your social life. 3. Place Yourself in the Right Environments An interesting phenomenon that can occur in our modern world is that men can be surrounded by friends but still feel lonely if the activities and conversations with those friends are incongruent with your personal values and desires. For example, let’s say that you hate sports. You couldn’t care less about the NFL or NHL or any other sports league. And yet, one of your social circle’s favorite activities is to sit down together at the local bar, have a few beers, and watch the game. Even though all of the men in the circle are fantastic influences and valuable friends, taking part in this activity will actually increase your feelings of isolation and loneliness. This makes it essential that you start becoming more intentional about the activities you indulge in and the things that you do with your peers.

Dr. Corey Lewis is the author of The Art of Becoming, a professional coach, and a master of NLP and quantum leaping. Favorite Success Quote “We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are”  ~Max Dupree Key Points 1. If You to Achieve Something You Must First Conceive it and Believe It I want you to imagine for a moment that there are three men, let’s call them James, Alex, and Will. All three men suffered through challenging childhoods and crippling adversity during their younger years, from poverty to the death of family members, to abusive parents. They have all seen the worst that this world has to offer and lived through a reality where most men wouldn’t last a day. Now James, the first of the men doesn’t know how he could possibly improve his life, he assumes that this is “just the way it is” and relegates all of his hopes and dreams to childhood fantasies. Alex, on the other hand, knows that his life could be better. He constantly finds himself daydreaming of a better life, one filled with an abundance of wealth, unconditional love, vibrant health, and a deep sense of belonging. However, Alex doesn’t believe that this can be a reality for him. After all, he is a former convict, drug addict, and grew up in one of the worst families you can imagine. How could he change? Now, I don’t think it takes a genius to figure out the results that these two men are going to generate in their lives with these types of convictions and beliefs. But what about Will? Will is in the same boat as everyone else. He went to prison in his late teens, never had a father, and is currently broke, alone, and addicted to drugs, but he’s different. Not only does he know that life can get better for him, he deeply believes that he has what it takes to make it so, he believes that he can change his life, turn things around, and achieve the success he has been dying for his whole life. You see, the only limits on your life are the ones that you impose upon yourself. If you can conceive a new way of being, deeply believe that it is possible, and are willing to take the action necessary to do it, you will succeed. 2. Tapping Into Your Emotions Creates the Motion You Need for Success How many times have you woken up in the morning, intending to get out of bed early and go “seize the day” but found yourself instead rolling over lazily and smashing the snooze button? How many times have you sat down at your computer intent on working hard and grinding away at your latest project, when three hours later, you find yourself deeply lost in the trap of the internet, throwing your day down the drain? How many times have you come home after a long day of work intending to hit the gym and work on your health only to find yourself sitting in front of the television on a guilty Netflix binge? My guess is a lot. You see the problem isn’t that you are lazy or lack work ethic, the problem is that you lack the emotional drive to create the motion you need to achieve success. You need to have a burning reason to pursue your dreams, you need to have clear goals, and you need to learn how to tap into the power of your emotions to go after the life that you want. 3. Your Thoughts are the Father of Your Results If you have anything in your life that you are unhappy with, you need to remember that the root of these results did not start in your bank account, in your relationship, or in your body, but these results started in your mind. When you look at your bank account and don’t like what you see, you need to remember that these results were caused by your thoughts. They were caused by your beliefs, your decisions, and your values that were then projected into your reality. This truth can be seen in any area of your life. No matter what results you have or don’t have in your life, your thoughts are the cause behind all of them. And if you can change your thoughts, then you can change your actions, change your actions and you can change your results, and if you can change your results you change your life. 4. Break Down Your Dreams into Achievable Steps Become a millionaire.  Meet the girl of your dreams.  Lose 100 lbs.  All of these goals are incredible in size and scope and are a scary whenever you look at them without first thinking about how you can break them down into achievable steps. If you want to become a millionaire, then start by working on earning your first $1,000 a month and build up from there. If you want to meet the woman of your dreams, then start getting out once a week and meeting awesome women at cool social events. If you want to lose 100 lbs. then start with 5. Whatever goal you have, it can be broken down into several smaller steps that will allow you to approach your dreams without feeling overwhelmed or scared. 5. Escape Your Plateaus and Find the Next Level  Life is full of unlimited possibilities and opportunities just waiting for you to show up and take them. But first, you have to break through your plateaus and realize that you can be living life on an elevated level. No matter how incredible your life is right now, there is always room to grow, there are always new mountains to be conquered, and there are always new ways to push yourself to become a better man.

Connor Beaton is a thought leader in the men’s community who founded ManTalks, has spoken at events around the nation, including TEDx. Favorite Success Quote “Aim for fulfillment and success will follow” Key Points 1. Stop Chasing the Golden Handcuffs In most modern western societies, there is one great expectation placed upon all men. Can you guess what it is? It’s not to get married and have kids. It’s not to find a career that they love and find spiritually fulfilling. Rather, all men are expected to earn.  And not just to earn a living so that they can pursue a life of their choosing, they are expected to earn as much money as they can regardless of the cost. And while there is nothing wrong with money, most men who pursue those greenbacks with a single-minded intensity soon find themselves financially wealthy, but spiritually, emotionally, and relationally broke. You need to realize that money is great. It can enable you to do so much good in the world and make a difference in the lives of countless people. But it can also become a prison. Men who chase after careers they dislike in order to achieve a financial status that they don’t really need will often find themselves sitting at home alone, millions in the bank but utterly, and completely miserable. You see, the real secret to life is to chase fulfillment. Chase what makes you feel alive, chase what you love, and the money will come. And even if it doesn’t, you still had a helluva ride and enjoyed life to the fullest. 2. Allow Yourself to Experience Your Success How many times has this happened to you? You have spent hundreds of hours working yourself down to the bone to achieve your goals. You haven’t slept in days, you haven’t allowed yourself to go out with friends in months, and you are on the verge of mental collapse, when finally, you reach your goal. Whether you hit an income goal, increase your subscriber base, or finally got your first client, you have finally achieved the thing that you had been pursuing for so long. But there’s a problem. You don’t allow yourself to acknowledge your victory and enjoy the rewards of your labor. Instead, you are off to the next goal, the next milestone, the next big thing before you even pause and appreciate what you already have. One of the most essential parts of success is taking the time to fully experience each of your accomplishments. No matter what you have achieved, you need to give yourself adequate time to bask in the glow and enjoy the successes you have already reached before you start chasing after the next big thing. 3. You Need to Have Men Who Call You Forward When was the last time you messed up? I mean really messed up? You know, the time that you made the mistake that ended your relationship, that lost you 6-figures in business, or that cost you a trip to the hospital. Who did you call? Undoubtedly, you had friends who came to the rescue and told you everything would be alright, but did you have anyone in your life who cut through the crap of the situation and was willing to call you to a higher standard? Most men have lots of friends on their level and below them, but few of those men have high-level mentors who are willing to call them on their B.S. and tell them when they have messed up. But you need to realize that the only way forward is to surround yourself with men who are willing to challenge you to achieve at a new level, men who are willing to call you out, and men who are willing to brave your disapproval in an attempt to make you better. 4. If You Want to Achieve Your Goals You Have to Eliminate Porn Porn is one of the most insidious creations of the modern age. How many nights have you spent alone in your room, ignoring the real issues and tasks in your life while you were silently kept company by dozens, if not hundreds of virtual women? How many times have you suppressed the frustrations that you were facing with real women by resorting to a form of “entertainment” where you have unlimited access to any type of woman on the planet, who will do anything that you want, all from the comfort of your own bed? How many men do you know who lack the passion and drive that they should have because they are wasting all of their energy “experiencing” women online? The simple fact is this, if you want to achieve the greatest levels of success in your business, your health, and your relationships, then you have to cut out the porn. There are no questions about it. It is draining you of your masculinity, of your sex drive, and of your energy to get shi!t done. Eliminate it from your life as quickly and permanently as you can. 5. Reinvest in Your Creative Side  One of the great travesties of the modern male is that we have all become so caught up with becoming successful in our health, finances, and relationships, that we have completely abandoned all of our creative energies that fulfill us and reinvigorate other aspects of our lives. If you are feeling lost in your life, if you are feeling unsure of where to go, or if you are simply lacking the motivation that you need to begin pushing the envelope forward in a given area, then you need to reinvest in your creative side. Whether you take up an instrument, begin writing, dancing, woodworking, or anything else that engages your mind in a new and exciting way, I can guarantee that you will begin to see the world in a new light. Have you ever noticed how musicians appreciate and describe music (and even the world) in a way that non musicians simply cannot. Have you ever noticed how writers are able to captivate their audience’s at social gatherings with riveting stories? Have you ever noticed how men who have learned how to dance are often some of the most creative and enthusiastic partners that a woman will ever experience? This is not a coincedence. Engaging in your creative energy will change your life in unexpected and exciting ways. So whether you are killing it in life right now or are in an existential funk, get out there and get creative.

Justin Constantine is a former Marine who suffered a traumatic gunshot wound to the head in Iraq and retired from the Marine Corps at the rank of lieutenant colonel. He also serves as an attorney and is now an inspirational speaker and leadership consultant who advises the corporate community on military issues and sustaining employee peak performance. He now serves on the board of directors of several national nonprofit organizations who co-founded the Veteran Success Resource Group in 2015, a military nonprofit that provides full spectrum resources for veterans and their families. He is also a senior advisor at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Foundation, where he leads a team focused on employment opportunities for wounded veterans and their caregivers. Favorite Success Quote “This is a wonderful day, I have never seen this one before” ~Maya Angelou Key Points 1. We All Face Our Own Adversity  I want you to imagine for a second that your whole world is crumbling down. You wake up bleary eyed from a fitful night of sleep and check your phone to only to be met with two voice messages informing you that you have one week to pay your mortgage before your home will be foreclosed and the bonus you were expecting has been cut in half due to a recent drop in your company’s stock. Furthermore, as you rest your head in your hands wondering what you are going to do, your wife, whom you are on the verge of divorcing, enters the room and begins to argue with you about trivialities you don’t understand until you are so frustrated that you storm out of the house, slamming the door behind you. You decide to skip work for the day and instead drive yourself to a local bar where you intend to drown your worries in whiskey because you just can’t deal with the stress anymore. Walking through the doors of the dimly lit bar, you notice that there is another man sitting in the bar by himself, looking sullenly into his drink as he fights back tears. With hopes of finding a companion to share in your misery, you sit down next to him and begin a conversation only to find out that the man had recently suffered a layoff at work after losing his wife of 15 years to cancer. Startled by his situation and own perceived weakness, you silently curse yourself for your self-pity and decide to keep your own worries to yourself and order another round. You see, no matter what adversity you are facing, someone else always has it worse and it’s easy to trivialize our own struggles whenever we compare them to the things that others are facing. But the problem with this mentality is that we fail to realize that comparing away our strugles will not make them dissapear. Just because you aren’t facing disease, death, or bankruptcy does not mean that your pain is not real and that it does not need to be addressed. Whatever struggle you are facing, there is only one way to eliminate it. And that is to admit that you are in pain and seek the help that you need to overcome it. 2. You Can Achieve Anything With Time  The media loves to propagate this myth of the “overnight success.” They love reporting on stories about the 17 year old entrepreneur who achieved IPO and retired before graduating high school with $20 million dollars in the bank. Or the actress who landed one movie role and suddenly became the face of Hollywood. Or even the “Biggest Loser” who dropped 150 lbs. of fat and became a model of health and athleticism. But the thing is, none of these people’s success happened overnight. It happened after years and years of working behind the scenes, after countless sleepless nights toiling away at their craft, and after thousands upon thousands of disciplined mornings brought them the results that they wanted. You need to remember that no goal you have is out of your reach, it will just take time and it will take sacrifice. It will require that you give up on the “good” so that you can step into the “great.” It will mean that you miss out on parties and dates and time with friends while you work to build your legacy and achieve your dreams. Nothing is out of your reach, but you must be patient and you must be diligent if you want to achieve it. 3. It’s Ok to Ask for Help Do you remember when you first learned to ride a bike? Do you remember the feeling of the wind in your hair, the rub of the helmet strap against your chin, the exhilaration in your stomach as you accelerated down the street… And the sudden halt whenever you suddenly hit an unexpected bump and flew over the handlebars crashing into the ground with a definitive thud. As you sat on the street, blood oozing from the raspberries on your knees and elbows, you began to cry and if your father was present, he likely responded to your accident with four words “Man up! You’re ok!” As an adult, your father knew that you would be fine, but as a young boy, you felt that your world was caving in around you and the only response that you receive was to suck it up and be a man. While instances like this may seem relatively benign in the big scheme of things, this mantra of “Man up! You’re fine!” is repeated over and over to the men of our society like a record on repeat until we reach a point where, no matter our struggle, we simply bear it and grin, refusing to ask for help because we fear that we will appear weak or vulnerable. The simple truth, however, is that we all need help. We all have our inner demons, we all have our struggles, we all have those dark places we don’t let anyone see that eat us alive at night. And the only way to overcome them is to be willing to reach out to others and ask for help You need the support of others, you especially need a group of men in your life who can be with you through the hard times and help keep you on the right path. You are not alone, and you don’t need to be. Whether you need to join a men’s mastermind, hire a coach to talk to, or simply call up an old friend, if you are in pain then get help. Talk to someone and be real about the struggles in your life, I promise it will be one of the best decisions that you ever make. 4. Forget What You “Should” Be Doing With the holiday season in full swing, most of you who are going to visit family are going to hear one word more than any other, “Should.” You should get a job and quit trying to build your silly business. You should find a girlfriend and stop partying. You should quit spending so much time on silly pursuits like travel and art and just get married and get a job instead. You should do this. You should do that. But the truth is, there is no guidebook for what you should be doing as a man. No one in society can tell you what is right for you, whether it is entrepreneurship or the 9-5, marriage or the bachelor life, travel or settling down. Life is a beautiful buffet with countless options and most men feel weighed down with the expectations that society sets that we are supposed to earn a certain amount of money, marry a certain type of person, or live a certain type of life. 5. Define Your Own Version of Success       With New Year’s right around the corner, everyone is going to be setting new goals and resolutions for 2017. And I can tell you without ever meeting the person or knowing a darn thing about them who is most likely to succeed based purely upon what they write down. You see, most people want to achieve success but they never truly define what success means. They set vague and ambiguous goals that are uncompelling and uninspiring. Everyone says that they want to lose weight, make more money, have a more abundant dating life, and achieve more, but what does that really mean? How much weight do you want to lose? How much money do you want to make? Who do you want to be dating and how frequently? You see, the only way to truly achieve “success” is to have a clear picture of what success means to you. For some people, success is an easy going 9-5, $10,000 in the bank and a happy family. Other people would become depressed if they are making less than $10,000,000 a year and travelling 11 months out of the year. If you want to achieve success, you need to define what it means to you first, and then set out to achieve it second.

Lee Ellis is President and Founder of Leadership Freedom® and FreedomStar Media™. For more than fifteen years he has served as an executive coach and a corporate consultant in the areas of hiring, teambuilding, leadership development, and succession planning. His clients include Fortune 500 senior executives and C-Level leaders in a variety of industries. Since 1990, Lee has managed the development, validation, and internet deployment of several personality and leadership assessments that have been used by more than 200,000 individuals. Early in his career, Lee served as an Air Force fighter pilot flying fifty-three combat missions over North Vietnam. In 1967, he was shot down and held as a POW for more than five years in Hanoi and surrounding camps.   After the war, he served as an instructor pilot, chief of flight standardization/evaluation, and flying squadron commander. Additionally, he commanded two leadership development organizations before retiring as a colonel. Lee’s combat decorations include two Silver Stars, the Legion of Merit, the Bronze Star with Valor device, the Purple Heart, and the POW medal. Favorite Success Quote “Be courageous. Lean into the pain of your doubts and fears to do what you know is right, even when it feels unnatural or uncomfortable.” ~Lee Ellis Key Points 1. Living a Life of Honor is the Ultimate Success There was once a story that one of my employees shared with me about a life lesson his grandfather had shared with him during his summer stint working as a landscaper. His grandad had spent nearly a decade of his life operating a construction contracting business, designing and building custom homes for the upper class members of his hometown. One of his clients who had been a long time acquantaince hired his grandfather to build a home costing several hundred thousand dollars (back in the 80’s). Happy to oblige his friend, the grandfather took the contract and completed the home to perfection. When the work was done and the house was built, he went to his friend to collect the payment for his services. His friend however, had no intention of paying for the home and due to the ambiguous terms of their contract, he knew that pursuing a law suit would be a costly endeavor. My employee’s grandfather simply shrugged and shook the man’s hand saying “If you can live with it, then I can live without it.” He continued on grinding and working hard, developing a number of successful businesses throughout the years and achieving great successes in his personal and professional life, always conducting business with integrity and honor. The other man however, despite his massive financial success, died of a massive heart attack at his office, alone and unloved. While the contrast between the two men may seem obvious, the true moral of this story is that success is not about material wealth or finanical gain. It’s about doing the right thing no matter what the cost. That is no small order, but if you can carry out your life with honor each and every day, you will be able to die fulfilled and live a life of joy and companionship. 2. You Cannot Manage Yourself Unless You Know Yourself How many of you have taken the Myers Brigg’s Personality Test? If you have, then odds are good that some of the conclusions the test made about you and your personality may have surprised you. And herein lies one of the greatest problems with our society. We do not value introspection and self knowledge like Eastern societies and ancient people’s did. We value work and results. And while these two things are important, you will never be able to achieve at your fullest potential if you do not know yourself as deeply and intimately as possible. Just think about it. How can you ever expect to perform at a high level if you do not first know who you are and how you perform? How can you succeed when everything you are doing is in stark opposition to your deeply held values and personality? You must discover who you really are, how you work best, what personality traits you have, what motivates you, what discourages you, what strikes fear into your heart, and what you truly want. Because unless you can answer those questions, you will never truly tap into your potential. 3. Guard Your Character and Make Decision Based Upon Values The greatest travesty of every generation is the young men and women with boundless potential who waste everything because they did not guard their character. Everyone knows that kid, maybe you met them in high school or grew up with them in your hometown, who showed tremendous potential growing up. They were the captain of the football team, the straight A student and the leader of all of the clubs at their school. They had it all. But somewhere along the lines, they screwed up. They made that one compromise of character that opened up Pandora’s box and destroyed their lives. Maybe they cheated on one test and lost a scholarship, maybe they started abusing drugs and were arrested in their first semester, maybe they slept around and ended up getting someone pregnant. Whatever they did, it shocked you because you knew that wasn’t like them. And that’s the point. It takes a lifetime to develop a reputation and build your character, but only one dumb decision to compromise it. If you want to live a fulfilling and joyful life, then you have to make decision based upon your values and not your impulses. While everyone operates under different moral codes, you all know what you consider wrong and right and when you should or should not do something. Listen to that voice in your head and do not compromise your character for anyone or anything. 4. You Have to Balance Results and Relationships There are two basic styles of leadership, results focused and relationship focused. And odds are, if you have spent any appreciable amount of time in the world of high performance leadership, you have come into contact with both styles of leaders. The results focused leader is the stereotypical drill sergeant style of leadership. These are the men who want things to get done, they don’t care who does it or what excuses come up, they simply want things and want them now. Relationship-oriented leaders on the other hand are the types of leaders who care more about their people then the mission, they are the ones who, while admittedly kinder are more likely to get pushed around and taken advantage of. Both styles have their own unique strengths and weaknesses, and all truly excellent leaders know how to balance these two styles of command to achieve their desired outcome. The leader who knows how to balance relationships and results will be able to discern between employees who have been misplaced and assigned to positions that are incongruent with their personalities and employees who are just darn lazy. The leader who knows how to balance relationships and results will be able to know when he is pushing his people too hard and when they have potential to go further. The leader who can balance relationships and results will be able to achieve anything he sets his mind to because he will have his followers love as well as their respect. 5. Face Your Fears and Doubts  Every man has fears and doubts about his worth, ability, and potential. They are bred into us from an early age by society, friends, and even family. But you must realize something. As a man, outside of your integrity, no characteristic will determine your success and fulfillment more than your ability to feel the fear and do it anyways. When Lee and his friends were being tortured and imprisoned by the Viet Cong, do you think that they were not afraid? Do you think that none of them ever thought about betraying their country or ending their own lives to escape the torment? Of course they did! And some of them did. Now, years after the fact, it is the men who were able to embrace their fears and doubts and stand strong who are seen as heroes, who are loved by their brothers in arms, and who can live with a clean conscience and a full heart. Your ability to face and overcome your fears is part of what defines you as a man. Never your fears hold you back from greateness, because at the end of the day, even if you die facing your fears, we are all dead men, and there is nothing more noble and honorable than to give your life pursuing what God put you on this earth to do.the worst thing.

Ryan Stewman is a high-performance sales coach and trainer who went from spending two stints in federal prison to building a multiple seven figure income. He is the author of several best-selling books including Kick-Ass, Bulletproof Business, Elevator to the Top, and Hardcore Closer.  Favorite Success Quote “You gotta take action before you can take over” Key Points 1. Action not Knowledge Leads to Success If you have been involved in the personal development world for any appreciable amount of time, then you have inevitably come across the people, shall we call them “Pathological learners” who are voracious consumers of knowledge. They know all of the latest market trends, are well-versed in the high-performance practices of characters like Tony Robbins and Jack Canfield, and can tell you how to start and grow a business from inception to 7-figures. And yet, when you look at the results in their lives, what do you find? Nothing, nada, zilch. They live in a 400 square foot apartment, are overweight, and in a relationship that looks like something out of a bad soap opera. Yet they know all this information! The problem is that they do not apply it. You have to realize that knowledge without action is useless. Only applied knowledge is power, and if you have spent years devoting your time and energy to learning without taking the proper proportion of action, then it is time to get off your ass, leave the theory on your nightstand, and get in the game. 2.Suffering is a Temporary But Essential Part of Life When was the last time you experienced suffering? I mean true suffering. Not the “My dog is sick” or “The 49ers lost their last game”, but real, visceral suffering, the kind that keeps you up at night, deprives you of joy, and makes you question your purpose on this planet. Perhaps you lost a family member or a friend, underwent a nasty divorce, lost your home, job, and family in bankruptcy, or even suffered from a life-changing disease or injury. Whatever that suffering was (or is) you need to internalize one of life’s great truths, spoken over a century ago by Abraham Lincoln. “This too shall pass” No suffer, no matter how devastating and debilitating it may feel, is permanent. And what is more? It is necessary to build you into the man that you need to become. I am not telling you that your pain will be easy to bear, but I am telling you that it will be worth it. 3. Ignore the Haters and Embrace the True Players One of the greatest tragedies of the modern world is that men with unlimited potential and unimaginable abilities allow themselves to be smothered by the advice and criticisms of unambitious, underachieving, and jealous peers. Every time you go to the office look at the men to your left and to your right. What do you see? Do you see men embracing their true potential, taking control of their lives, and creating an incredible future full of freedom and joy? Or do you see men who have allowed the doubts and misgivings of society, family, and friends to hold them back from their dreams and desires? On your path to success, you will be faced with many, many, many haters, doubters, and naysayers. They will tell you it cannot or should not be done only out of their own insecurities and fears. But if you want to unleash the giant inside of you and reach your full potential, you must ignore these people, whether they are bosses, life-long friends, or even family members. Only take advice from those who are achieving what you want to achieve, and ignore the rest. End of discussion. 4. Education not Schooling is What Separates the Winners from the Losers There is a fallacious belief circulating the modern world that tells all young men the only path to success is through higher education. And while college can be a great choice for some people, it is not the ultimate road to massive achievement. I want you to think back to your highschool and college years. If your experience was anything like mine, then at some point, you inevitably came across two different types of guys: The learner and the hustler. The learner was someone you would describe as the stereotypical nerd. He was smart, worked hard in classes, and did everything right. He made good marks, graduated with honors, and probably had several high level job offers waiting for him upon graduation. The hustler however, is a different breed. This was the man who spent his days building something that he believed in, working towards his dream, and focusing more on his practical education than his education. Sure, he still applied himself to his schooling, but, as Mark Twain said he “Never let his schooling get in the way of his education.” Which of these two men do you think ultimately achieved more? Who became more successful? Who was able to create something that would last and create freedom for themselves and their families? Hint, it’s not the guy with all A’s. 5. Your Past Does Not Determine Your Future Imagine, if you will, a man who spent his whole life as a criminal, stealing, lying, and terrorizing his way to “success.” After being arrested for one of his many crimes and spending nearly half a decade of his life behind bars, he is released back into the world and left with a choice. He can either allow past decisions, events, and circumstances to determine his future, or he can lift a middle finger to mistakes and decide to create a different life for himself, to rebuild himself, and create a new identity as a man of honor, integrity, and love. Most people don’t believe that you can ever overcome your past. And quite frankly, most people are full of shit. Every single day, you are faced with the same decision as the man above, you can either bend a knee and supplicate yourself to the flaws and mistakes of your past self, or you can start anew and recreate yourself into the kind of man you would be proud to be. Which decision will you make?

Ajit is co-founder of Blinkwebinars and Evercoach. He is also CEO of Mindvalley Media, the publishing arm of the Mindvalley Group. He also helps other business as a mentor in a private mastermind, Zentreprenur. Ajit also sits on the board for companies like Digital Academy India, Omvana, and Mindvalley Italy. In his free time, he likes to work on self-development, reiki, and his cooking skills. He is passionate about marketing and sales. Favorite Success Quote “It is better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than to have a long life doing something you hate” ~Alan Watts Key Points 1. External Succes is Fleeting So many men try and pursue external success and validation thinking that it will make them happy and fulfilled, but the truth is, success has nothing to do with your external accomplishments. True happiness, true success, and true fulfillment comes from living a life based around offering value and living the values that you hold dear. It comes from loving others, filling your days with incredible experiences, and spending time doing the things that you enjoy. That new house, raise, or car might make you happy, but only for a moment. 2. Success is About Living a Value Based Life Success, true success, comes from living a life that is congruent with your deeply held values and beliefs. If you value time with your family but work 80 hours a week to earn 7-figures, you are not a success. If you value your health, but give it up so that you can party with friends to try and look cool, you are not a success. You are only a success if your thoughts, words, and actions are aligned with your deepest values and the man that you want to be. 3. Focus on Showing Up not Achieving Goals  A life focused on achieving goals is a life of misery, because goals are constantly shifting and as soon as one is accomplished, you are left with a deep void and a sense of “What’s next?” If you want to live a fulfilled and happy life, then focus more on showing up each day as the man that you want to be. Be fully present in every conversation, treat others with respect and kindness, worry more about the impact you are having on those around you than the potential benefit that they can be to you and your goals. When you make this mental shift, you will be more loving, kind, and generous, and the funny thing is, the universe will reciprocate this and you will likely achieve those goals that you had set because you are no longer focused on them. 4. Stop Trying to Live Up to The Expectations of the World The world pushes all of these unrealistic expectations and standards on you, trying to convince you to conform to its standards and desires. However, to live the life of your dreams, you must shun the expectations of the world and instead create your own expectations for yourself and your future. You decide who you want to be, what you want to accomplish, and most important how you want to show up, not the world. Once you truly internalize this, the freedom and joy that you will feel is almost unparalleled. 5. Keep People First  In business, relationships, and pretty much every other area of life, make sure that you are keeping people first. In your business, focus on your clients, not your revenue. In your relationships, focus on adding value and not taking value. In your health, focus on how your improved performance and energy will affect those around you and not on how it will boost your own ego. Always keep people first and you will never lose.

Geoff Blades is an author of Do What You Want and an advisor to senior Wall Street professionals, CEOs, and other leaders, on all topics related to getting what they want in their businesses, careers, and lives. In his lifetime, he went from frying chicken at KFC to working at Goldman Sach’s to quitting his “dream career” to pursue his real dream of helping others achieve the life that they want. Favorite Success Quote “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Key Points 1. What Do You Want? Go Get It One of the most fundamental questions that you can ask yourself is also one of the simplest; “What do I want?” Until you can answer this question for yourself and not base it on the desires that family, peers, and society try and project upon you, you will be like a ship without a rudder. No matter how fast you are going, it will never be in the right direction. Take some time away from all external influences and really decide what you want for yourself in the areas of health, wealth, relationships, and personal growth. Then, once you have a clear picture of what you want, hustle like crazy until you achieve it. 2. All Success is Based upon Your Desire for an Emotion Whenever you are trying to determine what you really want in life, it is easy to think that your desires are based on a certain thing or achievement. In reality, all of your desires for external successes and validation stems from your desire to feel a certain way. Why do you want a million dollars in the bank? It’s not because you want the million dollars. It’s because you want to feel the safety, significance, and the freedom (and subsequent joy) that you will experience by earning a million dollars. Once you realize that all of your desires to achieve certain goals are basically desires to feel a certain emotion, you can analyze your goals in a more pragmatic and realistic way. 3. Resistance Comes from Negative Projections The only reason that you face resistance in your pursuit of your dreams is because of the negative projections that are associated with the work that you need to do to achieve your goals. Think about it. No one needs to motivate you to watch TV or eat that piece of cake. It’s an easy task that (for most people) has no associated  negative projections. What if you were able to approach your work and your mission with the same attitude? Instead of projecting pain and struggle in your work, learn to find joy and satisfaction in the struggle. Learn to appreciate your work and associate a massive amount of pleasure with everything that you do. 4. Focus on the Journey and not the Destination  Success is never about an outcome. It is about the man you become on your path towards that outcome. Every man who undergoes radical financial, physical, emotional, or social changes has simultaneously undergone radical personal changes. The man who goes from flipping burgers to a millionaire, from fat to fit, or from textbook nerd to social powerhouse, have all undergone massive internal changes that brought about their new realities. They became grittier, more determined, more dedicated, more educated, and more alive. Realize that the best part of success is the journey that it takes you on and the person that you become along the way, not the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 5. Create Two Systems: One for Your Mind and One For Actions One of the quickest ways to create a success filled life is to create a series of systems for mastering your mind and your actions. This means that you need to work on developing systems to help train your brain and create mental focus and resilience while simultaneously creating systems to help you take action towards your goals and dreams. This can be anything from meditation, exercise, journaling, practicing productivity hacks, reading, or waking up earlier in the morning. Whatever it is for you, build your systems and then execute them ruthlessly.

Dan Kariv is the CEO of multiple companies including Amped Ventures and Math4Sale, Inc. – a startup that is currently generating 7-figures in revenue. His life journey has been fueled by a passion to uncover and distill the spiritual truths of reality and exploring them along the journey of entrepreneurship and the pursuit of freedom so that he can better serve the world. Favorite Success Quote “True freedom is the ability to choose how you spend each day.” Key Points 1. Are You Being the Best Version of Yourself? Every second of your life, you have a choice. You can either choose to show up as the best, most powerful, most grounded version of yourself, or you can choose to allow fear and external pressures suppress your strength and live a life below your potential. In every challenging situation, whether it is a meeting at work, an argument with your wife, or some other battle that you face, ask yourself “Am I being the best version of myself right now?” Are you showing up and leaving everything on the table, are you attacking life with a vigor and energy that makes others stand in awe, or are you playing it safe? Keep this question in the forefront of your mind each day and you will be amazed at the paradigm shifts you will experience. 2. Freedom Comes with a Price Freedom of any kind, whether it is freedom of location, financial freedom, physical freedom, or social freedom (e.g. freedom from approach anxiety), comes with with a price tag. Freedom is not free. It is earned. It is taken. It is wrestled from the jaws of fear and uncertainty and doubt. If you want a life of your own design, a life of true power where you can be who you want and live life on your terms, then you are going to have to pay for it. Achieving freedom requires discipline and sacrifice. It requires years, sometimes decades of giving up what you want now for a future of unlimited potential. As the old saying goes, “Live like no one else will today so that you can live like no one else can tomorrow.” 3. Fear is the Pathway to Power One of the quickest ways to achieve success is to see your fears as the pathway to power. See fear as the guiding force in your life that tells you where you should be going and what you should be doing. The more fear you feel, the more you will know you are on the right track. Do not let fear paralyze you. Realize that on the other side of every fear is a stronger, more powerful, and more grounded man. Overcoming your fear to start your business or talk to that girl or get off the couch and go to the gym will lead to personal growth and success that you could never have imagined. Embrace the fear and achieve your dream life. 4. What Do You Want to be Remembered For? It is easy to live our lives without ever truly considering our legacies. But the simple fact is, all of us are going to die. We are all headed towards the same fate. And 100 years from now, the only thing that will differentiate your life from everyone else’s is the impact that you had and the difference that you made. Devote time each day to thinking about the person that you want to become. Think about how you want to be remembered. Do you want to be remembered as the grinder? The philanthropist? The family man? No matter what you want your legacy to be, make the definite decision to take the necessary actions to leave behind a life that will be remembered how you want to be remembered. 5. Success Requires You to Hone Your Capacity If you want to succeed at any endeavor in life, you must first hone your capacity. You must become a student to your craft and be willing to put your nose to the grindstone, working and learning, all the while approaching your craft with a deep humility. The more and more capable you become at any skill, the more you will find your ego and insecurities melting away. You will no longer feel the need to prove yourself to the world because you already have a deep inner confidence in yourself and your capacity for success.