Sex With Emily

To get our needs met, we first have to be able to articulate our needs – and be brave enough to share them out loud. But it’s easier said than done! We get worried about what the other person will say, or we don’t have the words to express what we want, so we bury those longings and wait for a better time. Then before we know it, years have passed, and that better time never arrived. We’re sexually frustrated and resentful, because we never had the sex talk that was crucial to our happiness…until now. On this show, we’re leaning into discomfort, so we can come out on the other side sexually satisfied. In other words: we’re learning how to have a sex talk! Even when it’s just with yourself. How do you cultivate positive self-talk, when everyone around you affirms your hotness - but your brain just doesn’t buy it? Or how about when one of you wants to have sex every day, and the other doesn’t: how do you communicate your way through mismatched desires? Finally, let’s get into improving the quality of your sex life with a partner: when the sex itself has become rote, routine, or just plain boring, how do you revive it? The first step is an open conversation, and on this episode, I’m giving you scripts and tools so you can get over those fears, and get into mutually satisfying pleasure. Show Notes:The Sex with Emily Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Women cheat for emotional connection, men cheat for sex.” “Men are horn dogs, women are frigid.” Heard any of this before? Did you know these are factually untrue? In this fan favorite episode, cultural anthropologist and bestselling author Wednesday Martin joins me to talk about female sexuality research findings, now that more females are entering the field of sex research. Believe me when I say: her revelations will change your life.Wednesday’s book Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free was a major conversation starter. Today, we’re more open to alternative relationship models, and a huge part of that is because of Wednesday. In this conversation, she debunks the lies we’ve been told for decades about female sexuality, including: men just want to spread their seed, while women want to protect their precious eggs. Wrong! Turns out, monogamy is pretty rough on female desire. How about this one: women cheat because they crave emotional care. Nope! Sometimes, women just want sex with someone new. Finally, how did these lies get started in the first place? Wednesday walks us through the faulty science that got us here, and how accurate measures of female desire are radically changing the way we understand sex – for all genders. For More Information About Wednesday Martin:Website | Instagram | TwitterUntrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust and Infidelity is Wrong Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the wide world of alternative relationship models. Opening up, threesomes, and swinging are increasingly becoming more mainstream, so naturally, we’ve got questions. Some of us do better with monogamy, but some of us thrive with a little variety - and no matter where we land on the spectrum of relationships and sex, we can always gain vocabulary to explore our desires, and act on our pleasure.So on today’s show, I take your questions on open relationships and we get into it. First, we tackle open relationships when we’re already partnered. How do you establish the ground rules? What do you do when your partner has a date but you don’t, and you feel that jealousy coming on? Next, threesomes and swinging: how do you practice safe sex in a group sex situation? Finally: when you’re the third party, what’s the best way to talk to the partner of your partner? In this case, and truly all others, the key is becoming a grade A communicator – because if there’s one thing you can count on in an alternative relationship, it’s lots and lots of talking. Show Notes:Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You may think of her as divorce attorney to the stars, and Laura Wasser is certainly that. But Laura is also a sharp thinker on marriage and communication, and is here to tell us what every couple needs to know before saying "I do." She says that couples who have the prenup conversation are actually more likely to stay together than those who don't, and that money is an even bigger conversational taboo than sex. She also tells us what it's like repping actor clients vs. musician clients, why we're seeing a celebrity-led trend of "gentle separations," and how social media has changed the game for divorce cases.Plus, I take your divorce questions! When is it time to say "I don't," and get the hell out? Or how about if you're single, and have a tendency to hook up with older, separated men -- are they just your type? Or...are there some deeper conversations you need to be having, with them, and with yourself? Let's talk dating as a divorcee: when is it OK to tell the kids you've met someone new? And finally, after being married for so long, how do you tell the difference between love and lust, when you're back on the scene? All this and more, on today's divorce show. For More Information on Laura wasser:Website | InstagramIt’s Over Easy: Website | Instagram | Twitter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In order to feel turned on, we first have to feel safe. And that’s the funny thing about trust: once it’s broken, it has a way of quietly shutting us down, so that our relationships aren’t as deep, our curiosity is blocked, and even our self-sex takes a hit. But there IS hope: trust can be healed. Neuroplasticity is a beautiful thing, and if we compassionately work on ourselves (possibly with a partner), we feel worlds better - more secure, and definitely more sexy.So on today’s Ask Emily show, I take some of my favorite calls on trust, and how to repair it. What happens if your spouse cheated on you, to the point where sex feels sorta gross now? Or how about if you were the cheater, and your sex life just isn’t the same? (Two words: couples therapy.) How about this one: you’re in a partnership, and things are basically fine - but the spark has completely worn off, and you don’t know how to talk about it? Or, what if you tell a new partner you love them, they don’t reciprocate, and THEN the sex takes a nosedive? In both cases, I’ve got answers. Finally, when you’re “too picky” of a dater, is it really because they’re all duds? Or, are there some underlying trust issues there, that are keeping your sexuality safe, cool, and totally dormant? The bottom line is this: when we feel free, we feel sexy. And on today’s episode, we’re helping you radically reclaim your erotic freedom.Show Notes: Ian Kerner’s book - So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex.  Our Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sheila Kelley is a moment, a mantra, and the founder of S-Factor: a feminine movement practice that offers classes in strip, pole dance, and erotic dance. “We live from the armpits up, and get trapped away from our bodies,” Sheila says. So her passion is to free people through movement, so they can return to their bodies, and have more energy to move towards what they want. This is a gem-filled conversation that you’re going to want to pause several times, so you can take in Sheila’s explosive wisdom...and apply it immediately to your daily life.Plus, I take your questions! We’re all venturing into brave new worlds today, and need advice. What to do when you’re dating as a grown woman, with kids in their 20s - but the men you’re matching with are young adults too? Is that a problem? We discuss. Next: is it possible to get “orgasm addicted” to porn? I talk you through it. And finally, beginnings and endings: how do you begin your anal sex journey? How do you end a marriage as you knew it? As Sheila says, it’s all an incremental journey of self-investment and growth -- and by the end of this episode, you’ll have done a bit of both.Find more about Sheila Kelley here: Twitter @theSheilaKelley Instagram: @SheilaKelleyS sfactor.com Instagram @s.factor Twitter @skelleysfactor Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So you’ve got a sex fantasy...and you’re ready for it to become reality. That’s great! But let me be the first to tell you: this process is part art, part science. The art? That’s your erotic self. Closing your eyes, imagining hot -- possibly taboo -- scenarios, and taking the time to discover what turns you on. But the science? That’s where we have to get tactical and think with our heads -- as well as our loins.On today’s Ask Emily show, I take your calls on fantasy and give you practical advice on how to fulfill them. Let’s say your partner has been hinting at a cuckold scenario: how do you go about finding a “third,” and how do you manage expectations for all involved? We get into it. What if you don’t have any fantasies, but you want some? Is there a way to get more creative? Yeahhh there is. Right this way for some sexy self-discovery.Show Notes: FetLife Feeld  #Open  Ok Cupid  Yea No Maybe List Book: Coming Together by Celeste And Danielle Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I like to think of Lewis Howes and Lisa Bilyeu as leaders in the self-awareness world, especially when it comes to relationships. Both Lewis and Lisa are incredibly successful: she went from housewife to cofounder of a billion-dollar business, he went from picked last for dodgeball to pro athlete, New York Times bestselling author and uber successful podcaster. But here’s the thing: success is empty if you don’t learn to like yourself, and both are intimately familiar with that truth. On today’s Best Of episode, I’m pairing these two voices to bring you the most powerful advice on self-love and fulfilling relationships. We hear from Lisa, who tells the story of radically changing her role in her relationship, and Lewis, who tells the story of radically hustling for respect (and getting it) -- only to realize he needed to learn how to respect himself. In this show, you’ll learn how to ask your partner for exactly what you need, how to break the habit of “testing” partners, how to identify the masks you wear for the world, and why sex transforms after you’ve taken the time to understand who you are - and love yourself, no hustle required. Find Lewis Howes here:LewisHowes.comInstagram @lewishowesTwitter @lewishowesTikTok @lewishowesFind Lisa Bilyeu here:lisabilyeu.comInstagram @lisabilyeu Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s frustrating but true: sex isn’t a button that we can automatically turn on and off. In fact, “sex” is a catch-all term for arousal, body exploration, play, and erotic collaboration—not simply penetration. So what do you do when you want to get naughty, but your body isn’t on-board? On today’s Ask Emily show, we’re taking a look at the body’s response to sex, and figuring out what to do when it shuts down. Say you’ve got a gag reflex around oral: does that mean no blowjobs? Nah - I’ve got a trick for that. How about vaginismus, when the vulva clenches so tightly at penetration, that sex is super painful? I’ve got advice! Finally, let’s talk about your partners: is it kosher to use old toys with a new lover? How do you broach the subject? And when you’re newly married, but the sex has serious problems, where do you turn? At the root of good sex is good communication, and on today’s episode, we challenge everyone to articulate their needs, and listen to their partners.Show Notes: Clean your toys with Uvee San Diego Sexual Medicine Dr. Sherry's She-ology Dilators System Jo Lubricants Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Before we’re experts at anything, we’re all humble beginners. And whether we’re learning how to date, learning how to talk about sex, or learning how to pleasure a partner, it can all seem pretty intimidating — enough to make us second-guess ourselves. “Do they just like me as a friend?” “Am I weird for wanting more lovers?” “Will I teach my child the right things about sex?”On today’s Ask Emily show, everyone’s looking for clarity in the sexual unknown, starting with: how can I tell if they’re into me? Whether it’s an office crush and you’re trying to figure out if they like you back, or you’re about to go on a date and worried you’ll be friend-zoned, I give you tips to put your best foot forward. How about if it’s a new sexual act, and you don’t know how you feel about it — or if you should even try it? I offer ways to figure out what YOU want…and not just what your lover wants. Finally, sexual evolutions in long-term relationships: what to do when you’re filled with old resentment? Is there a new conversation you could have with your partner? How about when you want to open up…but your nesting partner is scared of you having new lovers? We’re venturing into uncharted sex territory today, but don’t worry—we all come out on the other side, with fresh ways forward. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.