Maximize Your Influence

Even for the strongest individuals, their commitment level or willpower is not always constant. Willpower is like a battery. As you exercise your willpower throughout the day, the battery power starts to decline. What drains your battery? Fatigue, negative emotions, low blood sugar, suppression of emotions, and even peer pressure will drain your willpower battery faster than anything else. An interesting study gives more credibility to this idea that willpower may actually be made stronger if given periods of recess. Researchers had college students arrive to participate in an experiment regarding taste perception (or so the students thought). The students were instructed to come to the study hungry by abstaining from foods for three hours prior to their arrival. When they entered the room, they were greeted by the scent of freshly baked chocolate cookies, which were piled high on a side table, next to a bowl of freshly washed and trimmed radishes. As they entered the room, they were divided into two groups. One group was told they could only eat the chocolate chip cookies and the other only eat the radishes. They were then left alone to walk around the room as they waited for the researchers. Obviously, the radish group of students had to exercise their willpower to refrain from eating the chocolate chip cookies and only eat the plain radishes. After five minutes, the students were told that they needed to wait for their sensory perception of the food to fade before performing a new task. This next, unrelated assignment (or so they thought) was to solve a puzzle. Unbeknownst to the students, the puzzles were unsolvable. The researchers just wanted to see how fast the subjects would give up on the puzzles. Remember that the researchers were suggesting that willpower and self-discipline would weaken after doing sequential tasks, much like an overused muscle that has been strained to fatigue or a battery that has lost its charge. In looking at the two groups—one that ate cookies (requiring no willpower) and one that ate radishes (exercising their willpower against the tantalizing cookie smell)—the results proved interesting. The cookie-eating group worked on the puzzles for 18.54 minutes before they gave up while the radish-eating group worked on the puzzles for only 8.21 minutes before giving up. In other words, the radish group, the one that had exercised willpower, gave up 2.25 times faster than the group that did not exercise any willpower at all. The bottom line is the more we sequentially exercise our willpower, the more we have drained our battery. Why mental health is deteriorating

Understanding different types of audiences will also help you determine their acceptance level. Following are some different categories of audiences and how to deal with each of them. The Hostile Audience This group disagrees with you and may even actively work against you. For a hostile audience, use these techniques: Find common beliefs and establish a common ground. Use appropriate humor to break the ice. Don't start the presentation with an attack on their position. You are only trying to persuade on one point; don't talk about anything else that could trigger disagreement. Because of your differences, they will question your credibility. Increase your credibility with studies from experts or anything that will support your claim. They will try to find reasons to not like you; don't give them any. Don't tell them you are going to try to persuade them. Express that you are looking for a win-win outcome rather than a win-lose situation. If possible, meet with the audience more than once before challenging them on areas of disagreement. Show them you've done your homework. Respect their feelings, values, and integrity. Use logical reasoning as clearly and as carefully as possible. Use the Law of Connectivity and the Law of Balance. The Neutral or Indifferent Audience This audience understands your position, but doesn't care about the outcome. The key to dealing with this group is creating motivation and energy—be dynamic. To persuade the indifferent audience: Spell out the benefits to them or the things around them. Point out the downside of not accepting your proposal. Identify why they should care. Grab their attention by using a story. Make them care by showing them how the topic affects them. Get them to feel connected to your issues. Avoid complex arguments. Use concrete examples with familiar situations or events. Use the Law of Involvement and the Law of Social Validation. Check out this article.

When you become a Power Persuader, you will learn to love objections. You will come to understand that when people voice their objections, it actually indicates interest and shows that they are paying attention to what you are saying. The key to persuasion is anticipating all objections before you hear them. Fielding questions and handling objections can make or break you as a persuader. These skills will help you in every aspect of your life. Check out this article:  How to predict which Olympic athletes won’t choke Here are some tips on how to handle objections: The first thing is to find out if the objection is something you can solve. Suppose you are negotiating a large office furniture order and the objection comes up about not being able to afford your furniture. You then find out your prospect just declared bankruptcy. Obviously there is nothing you can do or say that will resolve such an objection. Let your prospect state his objection: Hear him out completely, without interruption. Wait until he is finished before you say anything. Hold your response until the other person is receptive to what you are about to say. This is the first time your prospect has voiced his objection; he will not listen until he has said what is on his mind. Always ask your prospect to restate or repeat his key points. Every time he replays his objection it becomes clearer in both your minds. Letting him speak, particularly if he is upset, drains emotion from his objection. Allowing him to voice his concerns also gives you time to think about a response and helps you determine his intent in bringing up the objection in the first place. Always compliment your prospect on her objection. As a Power Persuader, you should appreciate a good objection; it dictates the direction in which you should take your presentation. You don't have to prove you are right 100 percent of the time. Skillful persuaders will always find some point of agreement. Stay calm. Scientific tests have proven that calmly stated facts are more effective in getting people to change their minds than are threats and force. Don't be arrogant or condescending. Show empathy with your prospect's objection. Let him know others have felt this way. Talk in the third person; use a disinterested party to prove your point. This is why we often use testimonials—to let someone else do the persuading for us. Give the person room to save face. People will often change their minds and agree with you later. Unless your prospect has made a strong stand, leave the door open for her to later agree with you and save face at the same time. It could be that she did not have all the facts, that she misunderstood, or that you didn't explain everything correctly.

The Law of Expectations AND The Impact of Suggestion  The Law of Expectations uses expectations to influence reality and create results. Individuals tend to make decisions based on how others expect them to behave or perform. As a result, people fulfill those expectations whether positive or negative.  Expectations have a powerful impact on those we trust and respect, but, interestingly, an impact on strangers. When we know someone expects something from us, we will try to satisfy him or her in order to gain respect, trust and likability. Check out this article.  You know the saying, "What gets measured, gets done." The same is true for expectations. That which is expected is what actually happens. People rise to meet your expectations of them. This is a powerful force that can lead to the improvement or destruction of a person. You can express an expectation of doubt, lack of confidence, and skepticism, and you will see the results.    We communicate our expectations in a variety of ways. It may be through our language, our word choice, voice inflections, or our body language. Think of a time when you've been introduced to someone. Usually, if they introduce themselves by their first name, then you do the same. If they give their first and last name, you do likewise.  Whether you realize it or not, you accept cues from others regarding their expectations and you act accordingly. Similarly, we all unknowingly send out our own cues and expectations. The power is in using the Law of Expectations consciously! FREE BOOK

A great persuader can connect with anyone in thirty seconds or less. First impressions take only seconds to form, but they last a lifetime. This is a critical skill to develop because the cement dries fast. How do you ensure that you’re making those early seconds really count? That first judgment or opinion about you is vital to your success. In this fast-paced world, you probably won’t get a second chance—you have to make it happen the first time. Check out this article from the show. Rapport is equivalent to being on the same wavelength with the other person. Rapport is the key to mutual trust. With rapport, we can differ in our opinions with someone else yet still feel a strong bond. Rapport can even exist between two people with little in common. Many persuaders can’t tell if they’re connecting. They think that they’re doing everything right, that they’re doing all the stereotypical rapport-building things: being friendly, enthusiastic, or fun. But the reality is that in most cases, they are not building rapport and are failing to connect with their audience. Studies show that not only do 75 percent of people not like all the “gushy, chit-chatty stuff,” but 99 percent of them won’t even bother to stop you when they’re annoyed.  The proverbial bad salesman comes to mind here. He acts too chummy and tells stupid jokes, all the while thinking everyone loves him. You’ve probably met him. What did you do when you met this person? If you’re like most people, you politely endured the encounter, made up some excuse to get him off your back, and then swore to yourself that’d you’d never get stuck talking to him again. Reality check: This annoying person could be you. Free Book

Research demonstrates that 81 percent of persuaders talk more than necessary during the persuasion process. They are talking too much,7 and you are likely talking too much. Check this out. When we talk too much and fail to allow our audience to ask questions, it increases the thickness of the brick wall of resistance. Consider the doctor analogy to persuasion, meaning you have to listen and ask questions before you can diagnose the problem. The doctor does not come into the examination room and try to sell you on a prescription without first asking questions or trying to discover what you really need. Like a physician, you need to step back and be able to absorb and evaluate everything your audience is saying. While monitoring persuaders, I have found a constant epidemic of overpersuasion and regurgitating too many features. FREE BOOK Ask yourself the following questions to determine whether or not you ever overpersuade or flood them with too much information: Do you interrupt your audience in your eagerness to highlight another point before they have finished? Are you worried about making the sale or satisfying a new customer? Do you ever lose their eye contact or get a glazed look? Do they seem stressed, indifferent, or agitated? Does your audience seem overwhelmed or confused? Are you concentrating on what you need to say next instead of listening? Is your audience giving you excuses and objections that you've already covered or that you know aren't really true? Do their nonverbal signals tell you they are getting ready to run? Are you talking about yourself instead of discovering their needs?

Common Obstacles That Limit Your Persuasion Success The worst time to learn a persuasion skill is when you need it. Persuasion must be mastered before it is needed, or the opportunity is lost forever. In all the years that I have worked in persuasion, sales, influence, and leadership, I have never yet found a perfect persuader.  Ironically, one area of persuasion that is easily overlooked is the very one that would make everything else fall into place. You've probably heard the old adage, "Dull knives work the hardest." Working hard is not the same as working smart. Are your knives sharp? Are you working smart? See article here. If you sharpened up in this one area, you'd likely be working more efficiently overall. Check yourself. Are you just going through the motions? Are you still using the same old tools over and over again without seeing the desired results? Or worse, are you making the same old mistakes over and over again? Are you making less than you could because of common "old-school" persuasion mistakes?  There are things you are doing right now that cause people to resist you and your message. My research shows that there are common obstacles mediocre persuaders make that limit their success and income.  Each obstacle is like driving around town with your emergency brake on. You are wondering why your car never has much power. These problems are simple to fix, but expensive to have. Persuasive Presentation SPECIAL.

Zeigarnik Effect When we feel we've been left hanging, it drives us crazy! We want to know the end of the story. What is the missing piece? We want our tasks to be completed so we can check them off our list. This is also known as the "Zeigarnik Effect," named after Bluma Zeigarnik, a Russian psychologist. This effect is the tendency we have to remember uncompleted thoughts, ideas, or tasks more than completed ones. The story goes the Bluma Zeigarnik was sitting in a café in Vienna when she observed that a waiter could remember everything someone had ordered, but once the food was delivered the waiter forgot everything.  This led for her to realize that it is easier to remember everything about an uncompleted task, but once the task is completed the memory will immediately fade.  That uncompleted task will hold onto our memory, improve the recall and help us remember. We experience intrusive and almost nagging thoughts about a goal or an objective that was left incomplete.  It is built into our psyche to want to finish what we start. We see the Zeigarnik Effect on the television news and other programs. Right before a commercial break, the newscasters announce some interesting tidbit that will come later in the hour. This piques your interest and, rather than flipping the channel, you stay tuned. Movies and dramas on television also leave you hanging in suspense. By leaving something uncompleted right before the commercial break, the programs draw our attention, keep us involved, and motivate us to continue watching. We don't feel satisfaction until we receive finality, closure, or resolution to the message, our goals, or any aspect of our life.  Incomplete tasks trigger thoughts. The thoughts of the incomplete task trigger more memory retention.  More memory retention triggers anxiety that triggers more thoughts of the uncompleted business. You also see the Zeigarnik Effect in the courtroom. We already know that people feel more confident and impressed with information they discover for themselves over time. This dictates that persuaders slowly dispel information, rather than dumping large volumes of information all at once. A good lawyer does not disclose everything he knows about the case or the plaintiff during his opening statement. As the trial progresses, the jury can fill in the blanks for themselves with the additional information they gradually receive. This works much better than dumping all the information on them in the beginning. It holds the jurors' attention longer and gives the message more validity. The jury discovers the answers for themselves, and is more likely to arrive at the desired conclusion. 

 "Buyer's remorse" is also a form of dissonance. When we purchase a product or service, we tend to look for ways to convince ourselves that we made the right decision. If the people around us or other factors make us question our decision, we experience buyer's remorse. On feeling this inconsistency, we'll look for anything—facts, peer validation, expert opinion—to reduce the dissonance in our minds concerning the purchase. Some of us even use selective exposure to minimize the risk of seeing or hearing something that could cause dissonance. Often people won't even tell family or friends about their purchase or decision because they know it will create dissonance. Asking for a refund, complaining about the product or representative, or having remorse can all be forms of dissonance.  If you handle your prospect the wrong way it increases dissonance and they will demand a refund.   FREE BOOK

I am not going to be politically correct in this section.  I know it is not fair.  I know we should not judge, I am here to help you with reality.  Everyone judges and some of these items are things you can fix – some of them you can’t.  Focus on the things you can improve and don’t worry about the rest.  This attraction is also called the Halo Effect. It operates by making one positive characteristic of a person affect other people's overall perception of him. Because of this halo effect, people automatically associate traits of kindness, trust, and intelligence with people who are attractive. We naturally try to please people we like and find attractive. If your audience likes you, they will forgive you for your "wrongs" and remember your "rights." Check out this article. In fact, studies show that people who are physically attractive are better able to persuade others. They are also perceived as friendlier and more talented, and they usually have higher incomes.  "Attractive" means more than just looking beautiful or handsome. It also encompasses having the ability to attract and draw people to you.  Your physical attractiveness will influence attitude change, enhance your expertise and increase agreement. The effect of attractiveness transcends all situations. For example, the judicial system, which is supposed to be based upon evidence, has documented cases where attractiveness made a dramatic difference. In one Pennsylvania study, researchers rated the attractiveness of seventy-four male defendants at the start of their criminal trials. Later, the researchers reviewed the court records for the decisions in these cases and found that the handsome men had received significantly lighter sentences. In fact, those researchers found that the attractive defendants were twice as likely to avoid jail time as unattractive defendants. In the same study, a defendant who was better looking than his victim was assessed an average fine of $5,623; but when the victim.   Get your FREE copy of Maximum Influence.