The Responsive Family Sleep Podcast

Throughout human history new parents had support with their newborns around the clock from their friends and family. Now, most parents don’t have friends and family who are able to help overnight, and postpartum doulas are an option for nighttime support to help you get more rest. However, if you are a parent looking for someone who is knowledgeable and comfortable with nurturing biologically normal sleep and lactation then it’s important you hire the right professional. In this episode, I’m joined by Alex King, a postpartum doula who exclusively does overnight support. We talk about what a postpartum doula is and how they are different from night nurses and newborn care specialists. We share some questions parents can ask to get a good sense of the doulas lactation knowledge and comfort with supporting normal sleep and an attachment-based approach to sleep. We discussed what some red flags and green flags might be to show where a doula is on the same page as them and where they may not be aligned. It’s all about finding the right fit and as a parent, being clear about what you are looking for. Alex shares some of the ways her support helps parents create more of a set nighttime, helping circadian rhythm develop. And she reminds us that you are inviting a person into a very personal time and space so it’s important that you are really comfortable with them. I hope this episode will give you some ideas if you want to hire a postpartum doula for nighttime support whether you are pregnant with your first baby or looking ahead to a second baby or more.  About Alex Alex King is a certified postpartum doula in Los Angeles California who specializes in working with families overnight. She is passionate about setting up babies, mamas, and families for success in the delicate postpartum period so they can enjoy the magic a new little one brings. Connect with Alex Instagram: @doula.alex.kingConnect with KimInstagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/

Modern life is not sleep friendly for any of us. While there are many ways to better support and optimize baby and toddler sleep, let’s not forget that there are often simple things that adults can do to support your own sleep (no matter how your child is sleeping). As the days get longer (and warmer), it’s a good time to check in with yourself and what small steps you can take to better support your own sleep. In this episode I’m walking you through a few easy but powerful things you can do to improve your sleep quality. I talk about morning sunlight, the timing of your coffee, blue light blocking in the evening, and mindfulness, de-stressing rituals ahead of bedtime. Resources related to this episode Check out this blog post on light and the circadian rhythm: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/blog/2023/3/7/lets-talk-light-and-the-circadian-rhythmConnect with KimInstagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/

Your baby is an individual and comparing them to other babies can create a whole lot of unnecessary stress and struggle. In this episode I’m talking about how comparisons make your life harder as a parent, especially if you have a baby or toddler who is more….more sensitive, intense, persistent, active, perceptive….essentially who needs more support and is more wakeful than the children you see around you. There’s a wide range of normal, and sensitive, intense, persistent, highly alert children sleep differently than your typical baby or toddler. If your child has some additional health/medical concerns or a significant history of them, their sleep process often unfolds differently as well. Getting stuck in the comparison trap can lead to resentment and focusing on why your baby isn’t sleeping a certain way instead of meeting your baby where they are at and finding ways to make things better in your actual reality. There is a whole piece of parenting that is mindset work, and this is an important piece of that. Connect with KimInstagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/

Sleep is separation, and connection is our best tool to support through a separation challenge. And in fact, connection is almost always part of the answer to most parenting challenges. In this episode, I’m talking about the role of connection in the evening to set you up for better sleep - Connection through the bedtime routine, but also in the hours ahead of the bedtime routine. I discuss 3 key ways to think about connection: intentional, focused connection – be fully present with your kids. Play  - use play to connect with your littles, laugh, and even navigate transitions with connection for toddlers and big kids. Connect through emotions – hold space if they have emotions to offload in the safety of your love and presence. Connection is your parenting super power and prioritizing it in the evening can lead to better bedtimes and nighttime sleep. Resources related to this episodeSpecial time: https://www.peacefulparenthappykids.com/read/How-To-Special-TimeConnection blog post for toddlers: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/blog/2022/11/28/5-ways-to-use-the-magic-of-connection-to-support-easier-toddler-sleepConnect with KimInstagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/

There’s a lot of focus on moms and their experience with baby sleep, but less attachment based conversations focusing on the dad experience. While I’m fortunate to get to support many actively involved dad’s through my work, I’m also a mom , not a dad. So when I wanted to talk about the dad experience I reached out to Adam Angel, a licensed social worker  with a specialty in working with new dads. We talked about some of the common themes that come up in his dad groups and my sleep support, and there was a lot of overlap. We touched on:Parent preference and how to think through dad’s role in shifting that pattern. How parents may hold differing values and importance when thinking through baby care decisions. The importance of communication and agreement on a minimum standard of responsiveness/care so that differing parenting tools or approaches isn’t very different levels of responsiveness.The need for community for dad’s specifically and new families as they navigate this identity shift. A tendency for dad’s to be more outcome focused in their parenting. This was a great wide ranging conversation, and I really appreciated Adam’s insights. I think there’s a lot for both moms and dads to take away from it. About AdamAdam is a clinical social worker with 20 years of experience working with youth, adults, and families. Adam is a licensed social worker and his specializations include postpartum mood and anxiety disorders and developmental trauma. Adam completed his undergraduate at the University of MD and obtained his MSW at Howard University. Over the last 5 years he has led multi-stage fatherhood groups to provide fathers with the support needed for their personal growth and improve the wellness of their families. Adam lives in Silver Spring with his wife, two kids and their dog. Connect with Adamwww.dadswithwisdom.comwww.facebook.com/dadswithwisdomAdam Angel (@dadswithwisdom)Connect with Kim Instagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/

When can I get my baby on a schedule is a very popular question I get from parents of younger babies (and even parents of older babies struggling with sleep unpredictability). It’s understandable as schedules bring predictability and order to what can feel like sleep timing chaos. In this episode I’m talking about schedules – what’s realistic and what’s not. The answer to when a baby’s sleep gets more predictable depends on their Temperament, age, and daily patterns. It also depends on what you mean by a schedule, more of a rhythm or precise, exact timings. There isn’t a simple answer, but I hope this episode will help you think through schedules and your baby in a more realistic way. Connect with KimInstagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/

The world of sleep information is full of information that claims to be gentle and responsive but is really just sleep training with gentle marketing. So many of the sleep norms commonly shared are just wishful thinking for sleep training outcomes. How is a parent supposed to know what’s what? In this episode I’m sharing some of the red flags for sleep training - sometimes it’s very obvious and sometimes it’s more subtle. From understanding how sleep training culture influences how we think about sleep even when you know you don’t want to sleep train to understanding the sneaky ways it affects information shared about sleep even when it’s not a specific sleep training strategy, understanding what influences the sleep information you are interacting with can really help. And when you want to work with a sleep coach, really understanding their approach is essential. While I wouldn’t call this a comprehensive episode, I hope it gives you some clues to look for.Connect with KimInstagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/

Attachment is the most fundamental need and yet we don’t do much to educate parents around attachment – what is it and what do we need to do in our parenting to support it? In this week’s episode I’m joined by my friend, colleague and sleep coach Heather Boyd to talk about attachment. Our conversation focuses on the importance of attachment, attachment as the basis for development tounfold, and Dr. Neufeld’s 6 stages of attachment. We took a deeper look at the first 3 stages of attachment and how they relate to sleep and parenting. Dr. Neufeld’s work on attachment is a powerful way of making sense of the early years and the unfolding of both attachment and development.About HeatherHeather is a private practice occupational therapist from Niagara, Ontario, Canada and the mother of three boys.  She provides online support to families who are experiencing challenges with infant sleep, parenting, and infant development.  Heather takes a developmental- and attachment-based approach to supporting families by helping parents change perspectives and change the sleep environment, rather than change the nature of the child.  Connect with HeatherWebsite: https://familysleep.ca/Instagram: @familysleep.caResources related to this episodeNeufeld’s roots of attachment (6 stages) video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8qt1rv7K9QHeather’s blog on the Neufeld stages of attachment focusing on stages 1-3 (also links to part 2 covering stages 4-6): https://familysleep.ca/blog/neufeld-stages-of-attachment-sleep-part-1Heather’s Roots of Attachment for Sleep resource:https://heatherboyd.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1072127Check out my blog on attachment: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/blog/2023/1/6/what-is-attachmentConnect with KimInstagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/

Is it normal for my toddler to still wake? Surely they should be independent by now….. Even the most responsive parents can sometimes feel like toddler sleep should be easier than it is. In this last episode of my realistic expectations mini series I’m talking about 2 and 3 year old sleep. Older toddlers can still need your support at bedtime and in the night. They also do have a lot more capacity for independence and long sleep stretches than they did as a younger toddler or baby. Older toddlers need a lot of the same supports as babies and younger toddlers like good sleep hygiene and connection, and they also need support strategies that can draw on more general parenting tools like empathetic limits and playful transitions.Resources related to this episodeAge by age realistic sleep expectations:https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/blog/2018/7/6/developmentally-appropriate-sleep-expectations-birth-to-age-5Toddler waking norms: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/blog/2021/1/27/is-it-normal-for-my-toddler-to-still-wake-at-nightConnect with KimInstagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/

Feeding and sleep are two of the most individual and emotive topics in early parenting. In this episode I’m joined by Kassi Reyes, IBCLC to talk about navigating your feeding journey, especially when things don’t go as expected. We talk about the importance of support and accurate information, and also that a lactation consultant’s job is to support you to meet your feeding goals as defined by you. Our conversation touches on the emotions that can come up when navigating feeding challenges and how important it is to check in with your self to make sure that any interventions feel sustainable. We both share how valuable feeding support groups can be in the various stages of lactation to normalize and validate just how hard parenting a baby is and how constant things change. We wrap up our conversation with some tips for processing the emotions that come from a feeding journey that doesn’t go as planned so that you can still enjoy the love, snuggles, and bonding time with your little one.About KassiKassi Reyes is a Clinical Educator, RN, IBCLC Lactation Consultant, and a mamá. She’s worn many hats in her career including - nursing professor, lactation consultant, postpartum nurse, and doula, but being amamá and helping other moms is her favorite.Kassi’s journey into lactation support started when she was working as a doula and felt unsure about how to help her clients with feeding challenges. That uncertainty pushed her to become an IBCLC, a process that took four years and taught her a lot about the gaps in lactation education for birthworkers.Determined to make lactation support more accessible and less intimidating, she founded the Bridge Advanced Lactation Training Program to give birthworkers and providers the skills they need to supportfamilies with confidence. She’s passionate about helping birthworkers feel prepared and empowered because she knows the more feeding knowledge everyone on the care team has, the more successful and supported familieswill feel.When she’s not teaching or helping families, you’ll probably find Kassi enjoying a (hopefully hot) cup of coffee, practicing yoga, spending time outside, or planning her next travel adventure. Kassi Speaks English and Spanish.Connect with Kassiwww.kassireyes.comInstagram: @lactationforthepeopleYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/KassiBrookeReyesFree ResourcesDoulas and other birthworkers: Quick Start Baby Feeding Guide for Birthworkers: Answers to the 10 Feeding Questions your Client WILL ask. Get your copy here:https://www.kassireyes.com/f/top10Parents: Lactation Survival Guide Days 1-5: https://kassi-reyes.newzenler.com/f/lactation-guideConnect with KimInstagram: instagram.com/intuitive_parenting_dcFacebook:  facebook.com/intuitiveparentingdcLearn more about working with Kim: https://intuitiveparentingdc.com/