Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri

At some time or other we've probably all wanted, or needed, to motivate our children. But how? It's both harder and easier than you think and nagging doesn't really work in the long term. Tell you what else doesn't work, reward charts. In this episode I talk to child and adolescent psychotherapist and author, Graham Music who explains the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, what children really need and why daydreaming is really good for the soul.You can read more about Graham and his work and books on his website: Nurturing Natures.Make a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/Follow us: Twitter: @AnnalisaB, Instagram: @pocketannalisaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever have a nagging voice in your head telling you you're not good enough or could have done something better? You may have an inner critic. In this episode I talk to psychotherapist Julia Bueno, author of Everyone's a Critic, How We Can Learn to Be Kind To Ourselves, published by Virago.We discuss where your inner/self critic may have come from, what you can do to neutralise them, and we learn what cheerleaders and see-saws have to do with it.Learn more about Julia, her work and her books at https://www.juliabueno.co.uk/.Make a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/ Follow us: Twitter: @AnnalisaB, Instagram: @pocketannalisaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How we are in relationships can tell us not only an extraordinary amount about ourselves, but also how we were brought up. Family patterns can be repeated in every relationship we go onto have.Here I talk about to psychoanalytic psychotherapist Susannah Abse who has over thirty years experience in helping couples. Susannah was CEO of the charity, Tavistock Relationships, for ten years. She has also been Chair of the British Psychoanalytic Council, of which she is a member.Her book Tell me the Truth About Love, 13 Tales From the Therapists Couch, came out in Spring 2022.Make a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/ Follow us: Twitter: @AnnalisaB, Instagram: @pocketannalisaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grief and death are terrifying words for many of us. Of all the emotions, I’ve found, we really try to body swerve grief. But the thing is, grief doesn't go away if you ignore it. You can't cheat grief, so in this episode we try to look it in the face and talk about why it's important to start processing it and how you might go about this.I speak with psychotherapist and bereaved mother Jane Harris. I first met Jane, and her photographer and film-maker husband Jimmy Edmunds, almost ten years ago. Their son, Josh, had died in a road accident in Vietnam two years earlier. He was 22.I'd gone to interview Jane and Jimmy for an article I was writing for the Guardian family section on how to organise a different sort of funeral.Despite their pain, they were so generous and meeting them changed me and my approach to death and grief.Jane and Jimmy created the Good Grief Project, a charity dedicated to creative and active approaches to grief. They run some amazing retreats for the bereaved and have made some wonderful films, and written books. You can read all about them here: www.thegoodgriefproject.co.uk where you can also find links to their films: Beyond Goodbye, Say their Name, and the award winning A Love that Never dies.Their next book, When Words are Not Enough - Creative Approaches to Grief is out in November 2022 with an introduction by our very own Dr Kathryn Mannix who spoke so eloquently on the death episode in Series One.Cruse also provides amazing bereavement support. And for children there's the excellent Winston's Wish.Make a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/ Follow us: Twitter: @AnnalisaB, Instagram: @pocketannalisaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This was a listener requested topic. Boundaries form the basis of all our relationships, be they with family, work colleagues or romantic partners. Boundaries even matter if you're travelling on public transport! In this episode Armele Philpotts explains how anger is a really useful tool to alert us to a boundary being crossed. How to make boundaries, what they tell us about ourselves, and how to keep them.Armele is a psychotherapist in private practice who specialises in healthy relationships and the effects of trauma. Her website is at: https://apcounselling.wordpress.com/Make a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/ Follow us: Twitter: @AnnalisaB, Instagram: @pocketannalisaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I get a lot of problems about adoption, usually, but not always, from the adopters who are struggling but are mired in shame that they cannot cope. Once someone has been through the process of adoption it can be very hard for them to admit they are finding it tough. But in this podcast we also hear from an adoptee, because that's the other side that I hear from (and often a voice which is missing when adoption is discussed). When adoptees write to me, they often talk of constantly looking for something, as if something is missing, or they feel 'unlovable', no matter how much they are in fact loved. In turn they feel they can't talk about this for fear of upsetting their adoptive parents. And there's a narrative that adoptees are 'lucky' and 'chosen' which makes voicing any negative feelings very hard.In this episode I talk to psychotherapist and adoption specialist Alison Roy who once said that parents who adopt children often have a 'three course meal of love prepared for the child, but the child can only handle a teaspoon at a time'. This phrase really resonated with my readers.Alison's book is called A is for Adoption and it's a highly recommended read. She also recommends some other resources:Books:https://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/2015/oct/22/top-10-books-about-adoption-chosen-by-adopted-childrenAlison’s book A is For Adoption:https://www.routledge.com/A-for-Adoption-An-Exploration-of-the-Adoption-Experience-for-Families-and/Roy/p/book/9780367439477It Didn't Start With You - Mark WolynnThe Primal Wound - Nancy VerrierWhy love matters by Sue GerhardtThe Red Dust Road by Jackie KayParenting Matters: Parenting a child with difficulties in learning caused by traumaRespark by Dr Graham MusicThe secret garden by Frances Hodgson BurnettHow are you peeling by Saxton FreymannWhy be happy when you could be normal by Jeanette WintersonChildren and young peoplefeeling different - bullying: https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/54964969Books about adoption for children/older childrenThe Unmapped Chronicles and Sky Song - Abi ElphinstoneDragon Rider - Cornelia FunkeThe Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson-BurnettThe Northern Light Trilogy - Philip PullmanThe Polar Bear Explorer’s Club - Alex BellWebsites and useful articlesHow to win an argument with a teenager https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/07/how-to-win-an-argument-with-a-teenagerCoram BAAF https://corambaaf.org.ukAdopt UK https://www.adoptionuk.orgMake a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dementia is a word which we've become increasingly familiar with over the years, but still, understandably, strikes fear in our hearts. In this episode I talk to Julie Green, Dementia UK's Deputy Clinical Lead and an Admiral nurse with thirty years experience caring for the elderly, twelve of them in a dementia specialist role.We talk about the types of dementia, how best to 'be' with someone who has dementia eg: should you enter their world or correct their mistakes?Caring for someone with dementia is isolating and can be soul destroying. Dementia UK has lots of useful information on its website: dementiauk.org and has a great helpline, run by trained Admiral nurses: 0800 888 6678.Julie also recommends two books: Validation: Feil Method by Naomi Feil; and Dementia Reconsidered, Revisited; the person sill comes first by Tom Kitwood.I hope you find this episode supportive and helpful.Make a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/ Follow us: Twitter: @AnnalisaB, Instagram: @pocketannalisaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sexual and relationship psychotherapist Silva Neves discusses the importance of comprehensive sex education, starting young, consent, and why porn isn't educational. The podcast covers diverse topics from misconceptions about sex to embracing both vanilla and kink, advocating for responsible porn consumption and ethical exploration of personal sexual preferences.

Anyone who’s had a baby knows that probably the number one question you're asked is: are they sleeping through?Some years ago, whilst researching a piece, I found out that babies aren’t meant to sleep through and there are biological reasons why this is and it blew my mind, given everything I was told at the time was that if my baby didn’t sleep through, I was somehow a failure.Professor James McKenna is biological anthropologist, and a world specialist on baby sleep and we take a deep dive in this episode into what babies need, just why they aren’t meant to sleep through the night, we learn about their sleep cycles and how it’s never wrong to comfort your child. Jim is emeritus professor at the University of Notre Dame in Indiana, the director of the mother-baby behavioural sleep laboratory and the dean’s executive professor at Santa Clara university. He joins us from San Francisco and for more information about his work and safe co-sleeping visit https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/Make a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/ Follow us on social media: Instagram @pocketannalisaTwitter @AnnalisaBSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Addiction is a word that’s overused and often misunderstood. In this episode I talk to systemic psychotherapist Rebecca Harris, who is also manager at the National Problem Gambling Clinic, Club Drug Clinic and the National Centre for Gaming Disorders. She works at the Central and North West NHS Foundation Trust in London. We look at what addiction is, what it isn’t, and how to get help if you think you or someone you love has an addiction to drugs, gaming, gambling or alcohol. Some useful links/further reading to look at after you’ve listened:clubdrugclinic.cnwl.nhs.ukThe NHS Gambling clinic - gambling.cnwl@nhs.net  National Gambling Helpline 0808 802 0133National Centre for Gaming Disorders clinic (email: ncba.cnwl@nhs.net).  parentzone.org.uk www.taminggaming.comwww.talktofrank.com The Drug Conversation, How to Talk to your children about drugs by Dr Owen Bowden-Jones is a great resource book about drugs and their effects.Adfam.org.uk Alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk al-anonuk.org.uk mind.org.ukhttps://www.gamcare.org.ukMake a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/ Follow us on social media: Instagram @pocketannalisaTwitter @AnnalisaBSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.