Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Episode #88: Managing differences of opinion with friends can get tricky. An obvious area is politics, but smaller differences also get between friends, like parenting decisions.Examples: parents who give their kids a phone and social media years before the other friend; public vs. private school; where you live; how you vacation---those are not as divisive as politics, but it's an ongoing difference in your choices. Do we allow our differences to become a strength in a friendship or a weakness? I advocate for strength, which requires empathy for the next person.Here to talk about developing empathy and managing these potential differences is therapist and author, Emily Locker. Emily's debut novel, Running Mates, is a modern day Romeo and Juliet and one of the best fictional versions I've read of friends with big differences---political ones in this case. Emily and I lean into her professional work as a therapist for advice on how to get along with people who have different points of view.And there is another major fact that I need to tell you about Emily. Emily is my second cousin! Our grandfathers were brothers, and our moms are first cousins. We also talk in the episode about the potential of friendship between cousins and how jealous I always was of Emily and her first cousins.Meet Emily Locker:Emily lives in Washington, D. C. with her husband and two young sons. Find Emily on Instagram @emilylocker.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Today's guest, Rhaina Cohen, author of The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center, profiles platonic partners in her book who are at different ages and stages of life. Shows like The Golden Girls and Grace & Frankie are beloved by so many, but also treated as a fantasy. What if platonic life partnerships didn't have to be merely a dream? What if you didn't have to wait until retirement age to consider centering your life around friendship?While there have always been people throughout history making the choice to commit their lives to a friend rather than a romantic partner, there are not common models, labels, or legal benefits for these kind of arrangements. MEET RHAINA COHEN:Rhaina Cohen is an award-winning producer and editor for NPR’s documentary podcast Embedded. She was named a 2021/2022 National Endowment for the Humanities Public Scholar for her debut nonfiction book, The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center. Her writing, often focused on social connection, has appeared in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post and elsewhere. She’s spent most of her career working on podcasts that blend narratives and ideas, including Hidden Brain, Invisibilia and Rough Translation. Find Rhaina on Twitter and Instagram.We discussed:The lack of vocabulary or process for people who want to try a platonic partnership.The real enchantment and sense of possibility that happens when you're excited about a new friend, a feeling that's not so different from a romantic spark. Rhaina mentioned "limerence" as the term used for this initial sensation in romance that can apply to friendship too.The crucial element of proximity in close friendships.The popularity of the Llano Exit Strategy story and the dream people have about clustering near close friends eventually.The importance of not having just one story in our minds for what it looks like to be happy, fulfilled, and connected.Some of the benefits Rhaina gains because she and her husband live with another couple (platonically) and the couple's two kids. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Making friends and deepening existing friendships starts with some basic truths."Every friendship starts with an act of bravery. And every friendship goes to the next level because of someone's act of bravery. ""Do not wait for the other person to make the first move. It's always your turn."These are just two of many wise and thoughtful quotes about making friends and deepening friendships from today's guests, Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston. Amy, Jess, and I---three friendship enthusiasts---shared times we've been brave in making friends and deepening those friendships as well as times we've struggled.We covered:Some of our own personal stories of the brave act of making friends, including how Amy and Jess met online and formed a real friendshipThe fear of rejectionThe fear of being awkwardLetting go of assumptions you've made about what everyone is thinkingThe fear of leaving others outFinding a pickleball game! Focusing on the people who say yes and don't fixate on the people who are not interestedNot giving up all of your power to make friendships happenIntentionality and vulnerability in deepening friendshipsThe fear of sharing who you really areAsking good questions Allowing kids and teens to experience friendship bumps (not trying to fix everything)MEET AMY AND JESSAmy Weatherly and Jess Johnston are cofounders of the viral page all about friendship, Sister, I Am with You. They coauthored the new book, Here For It and the Wall Street Journal bestseller I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants) and have been featured in national news such as Good Morning America to talk about friendship. They are friends first, business partners second, and absolutely adore any time they can spend together in real life (eating queso) and laughing till they ache.Find Amy & Jess on: Facebook, Instagram, and on their Website.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

"The more the merrier" is a common expression for good reason. Most of us don't want to be considered exclusive. We want others to feel welcomed and comfortable around us. But there are times when the more the merrier is not the case-- when the group dynamics for a particular event won't work if everyone comes along.In episode 85, I have a tough conversation with Danielle Bayard Jackson, an incredibly clear-thinking friendship coach and national speaker on the topic of female friendships.Danielle's viral TikTok and viral Instagram post on "Reasons Why You (Possibly) Weren't Invited" caught my attention. She gave examples in those videos I know I have done myself (cringe) and things I've thought, but have been too scared to say on my podcast or in my own writing about friendship.I needed Danielle by my side to have this conversation about why we and others are sometimes not invited. And I'm glad I shared some of own insecurities and pet peeves, even though the topic gave me a stomachache when we spoke and still does posting it for others to hear.Meet Danielle:Danielle Bayard Jackson is a female friendship coach and educator who speaks nationally on the subject of friendship as a wellness imperative. Her coaching business, Friend Forward, is dedicated to teaching women how to create and maintain better female friendships. Danielle’s expertise has been featured in NBC News, Psychology Today, Wall Street Journal, Oprah Magazine, and many other outlets. She shares her insight weekly on The Friend Forward Podcast and has a book coming out in spring 2024 called Fighting For Our Friendships. Danielle is the official spokesperson for Bumble’s new app Bumble For Friends. Personal IG - @daniellebayardjackson.   Friend Forward IG - @friendforwardTikTok - @thefriendshipexpert   Twitter - @DBayardJacksonALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Debra Arbit, a consultant for women business owners, shares her real-life story of going from barely acquaintances to close friends in our 40s. They discuss the importance of inviting people into your home, tips for hosting, and the power of asking for a favor to strengthen relationships. The chapter also touches on creating a welcoming environment, cleaning after hosting, and the anxiety that can arise when water is not provided.

Exploring the benefits and vulnerabilities of befriending your ex's ex, validation and support from fellow exes, navigating a complicated connection with an ex, finding healing and sisterhood through friendships with women.

This podcast explores the lasting bonds formed in difficult times, such as cancer and challenging work environments. The guest shares her personal experience of finding a special friend during her cancer treatment. They discuss the importance of showing up for friends and the impact of thoughtful gestures. The speaker also highlights the strength of connections formed in online cancer support groups and expresses gratitude for supportive friends.

This podcast explores the challenges of sharing good news with friends and the importance of having friends who can genuinely celebrate achievements. They also discuss the power of community in the fitness wellness and nutrition realm and reflect on the impact of life changes on friendships. Additionally, they delve into understanding different types of friendships and the significance of direct communication in building deeper relationships.

The podcast explores the concept of neediness in friendships and emphasizes the importance of addressing unmet needs. It discusses the correlation between neediness and insecurity and provides advice on setting boundaries with needy friends. The chapter also highlights the significance of acknowledging our own worthiness of receiving assistance and offers various ways to connect with the host.

Bri McKoy is a cookbook author and military wife who has moved seven times in 12 years. She went from burning everything in the kitchen to learning to cook as a way to create community. Have you ever wondered how to make good friends in a new city? Bri has repeatedly accomplished this task with some towns proving harder than others. Bri's husband, Jeremy, has been deployed four times since they were married. Cooking helped Bri make friends while he was gone. She is now the author of a beautiful and helpful cookbook, The Cook's Book, Recipes for Keeps and Essential Techniques to Master Everyday Cooking. I am so inspired by Bri's story. I think you will be too!WE COVERED:the importance of creating a sense of community, even when you know you're moving againwhich cities were harder to make friends than otherscombating loneliness and building relationshipsactionable advice on reaching out to othersnot waiting for invitations learning patience in the kitchen and letting go of perfection as a hostFIND BRI MCKOY:Website, Instagram, YouTubeALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands