Above the Law - Thinking Like a Lawyer

This week we chat about the First Amendment, sexual harassment, and, yet again, Blackface in the legal community.-----Most Americans don't understand the First Amendment... just like Amy Coney Barrett!More sexual harassment allegations in Biglaw, which gives us an opportunity to consider the impact of senior attorneys coming forward to prompt change.And, yes, there is talk about Blackface at the end because it sadly keeps coming up.

Sam Alito might be citing witchhunters from the 1600s as authority on the meaning of the Constitution, but the Fifth Circuit is taking it a step further and fighting over how the Bible might interpret a statute governing class action lawsuits. The MyPillow guy lost his composure in a video deposition for all the world to see. Probably had a bad night's sleep on some lumpy pillows. And it was quite the worrying summer for law students. Summer associates don't trust that they're going to get full-time employment and exploding offers have proliferated throughout the industry. At least one firm with a low retention rate this year still found the time to take everyone to the club.

In our latest chat, we discuss Biglaw strip club outings, Jeff Clark taking time away from his indictment to be an idiot online, and associates unhappy with a law firm's office tracker.-----Gunderson Dettmer got a lot of flack on Reddit from folks accusing the firm of hosting a summer event at a strip club. It wasn't a strip club, but it was a nightclub with scantily clad go-go dancers, which doesn't make it much better from the perspective of a harassment-free work environment. And after making it rain at the club, the firm ended up no-offering a bunch of summers anayway. Jeff Clark took shots at Neal Katyal on social media. He missed. And Goodwin unveiled an office presence tool to let folks know who is in and out of the office at all times. Folks don't seem happy about it, but is it just the price we pay for hybrid work?

Also, how to create a culture that welcomes Biglaw vacations.------Amy Coney Barrett recently spoke publicly about how she longs for the days when most Americans couldn't recognize Supreme Court justices, highlighting that justices don't have to be there long for a culture of unaccountability to set in. Speaking of which, the majority of Clarence Thomas's former clerks signed an open letter shrugging off his ethical problems. But the real question is... did any of them bother to read a draft before signing on? And a managing partner wrote the firm about the virtues of taking a real vacation and got some blowback from attorneys.

A little Broadway for this week's title.-----Law firm productivity is down, but are we really worried about that? It's a traditional harbinger of layoffs, though something about this market feels a bit different. Meanwhile, a right-wing advocacy group has sued a pair of Biglaw firms for offering fellowship programs aimed at improving diversity -- offering a lesson in forum shopping along the way. Finally, former ASS Law professor Joshua Wright brought a defamation suit against former students for harming his professional reputation. He admits that, as a married professor, he was sleeping with multiple students simultaneously but seems to think that's NOT the part that ruins his reputation.

The Fifth Circuit judge made a bunch of headlines last week and we jump into all of them. Plus Texas's use of water saws and Ron De Santis isn't faring well in his battle with Disney. (Always bet on Mickey.)

And they're running out of a bunch of lawyers.A surprising level of jerk content this week as we discuss the value of real Jamaican jerk seasoning, Clarence Thomas getting his RV financed by a health care executive, Alan Dershowitz complaining about his neighbors, and Judge Aileen Cannon botching straightforward criminal law (more than once).

Elena Kagan and Samuel Alito have... very different takes on judicial ethics and what Congress's role is in all of it. Plus, Lindsey Graham has a change of heart about a federal judge because it's politically expeditious. And a deep dive into starting salaries for attorneys.

Alabama is just straight up defying the Supreme Court on election law... but when liberals propose the same thing all of a sudden it's a crisis for the rule of law. I see how that goes.Also a hard-working Biglaw staffer gets caught up in a political backlash to what seems like an honest misunderstanding. And law students have no freaking idea what they're in for.

For real though, don't mention your law school rank in your wedding vows. You may think it cute but literally no one else does. Clarence Thomas has been workin that lifetime tenure racket from the very beginning. And ,careful what you post on social media, unless, of course you just enjoy having to go through the same trial multiple times.