FRIED. The Burnout Podcast

There comes a time when you may need to tell the people in your life about your burnout. Certain people like your HR department or your spouse will need to know in explicit detail in order to support your recovery to the best of their abilities. Others like co-workers or clients may not need to know as many details, but still need to know how it will impact them. In today’s #straightfromcait episode, Cait explains how to approach these conversations differently depending on whether you are speaking at work, at home, or with friends.  The first step you need to take before initiating any conversations about your burnout is to make some decisions and collect data points. When speaking with clients, you should first figure out your answers to certain key questions they are sure to have such as whether you will be shifting a deadline, if you are stopping a project, and if you’re planning to refer them out. If you work for a company, you will need to talk to your HR department and should have a script in mind that clearly explains the symptoms burnout is causing you and what you need from your employer in terms of recovery. When speaking with your partner or spouse, it is important to be as honest as possible to help them understand how burnout is impacting you and how things might need to change at home. Making a plan and collecting data will help you to have clear, factual conversations with the people in your life about your burnout and their reactions to your requests will provide you with additional data about your environment.  Tune into this week’s #straightfromcait episode for a conversation about how to tell other people about your burnout. Learn what to say in specific situations at work, at home, and with friends so that you can get the support you need for recovery.  Quotes • “Before you have any conversations, you need to collect your data points and you need to make some decisions. This has to happen first.” (2:33-2:43 | Cait) • “If you know you're burnt out and you definitely need some time away, you might go to your HR professional and say, ‘Listen, I feel like I'm experiencing burnout. These are some of my symptoms. I'm unable to be as productive as I used to be at work, I'm completely disengaged. What I think I might need is XYZ. But I am not sure what the company offers as far as burnout recovery support. So I am here to find out what the possibilities are, and how we can set this up so that the company stays solid and gets everything it needs and I still get the time that I need to recover’.” (7:11-7:46 | Cait) • “Giving people the opportunity to also use their voice because you've used yours, I think is really important.” (11:03-11:10 | Cait) • “If you don't know what you need, it might be time to get a coach.” (13:54-13:58 | Cait) • “Your burnout is going to be difficult for your partner. It’s going to be difficult for them to understand, it's going to be difficult for them to deal with. And they are likely to get irritated now and again that they are pulling extra weight. And I need you as much as you're granting grace for yourself in the recovery process, I need you to also grant grace to your partner and your family members who will need to adjust things for you.” (15:14-15:40 | Cait) • “Just because you prep doesn't mean it will go well. But prepping will help you to feel solid and more neutral within the conversations. Because you're speaking about facts, and not necessarily about emotions.” (26:09-26:22 | Cait) Links  https://facebook.com/groups/friedtheburnoutpodcast https://caitdonovan.com/resentment-journal https://caitdonovan.as.me/sarah https://caitdonovan.as.me/free XOXO, C If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Kristen Donnelly, one of The Good Doctors of Abbey Research, is an international empathy educator. She has two decades of experience and an educational background in social work. Dr. Donnelly uses her PhD in social sciences to help people all over the world learn about empathy through her Ted Talks and hybrid, in-person, and virtual coaching. She shares her tips for how to use empathy to counter burnout after it helped her get through her own burnout in 2020. Tune into this episode to learn more. “What we have come to define empathy as is intentional understanding of yourself and others,” explains Dr. Kristen Donnelly. Dr. Donnelly reports experiencing several burnouts throughout her life, but says that her worst was in 2020 when the lockdowns started happening. Empathy played a large role in getting her through burnout, because it allowed her to change her perspective. By de-centering herself from the experience, Dr. Donnelly realized that everyone was human and was doing their best. She shares that empathy requires intentionality and curiosity. She was able to understand that while she could not control what was happening in the world, she could control her own reactions and use her privilege to help make things better for others.  Tune into today’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast for a conversation with Dr. Kristen Donnelly about what empathy actually means and how to work at it until it becomes a natural reflex. Learn how to shift your perspective and appreciate the things that are within your control and how empathy for yourself and others can help you to heal from burnout.  Quotes • “All of us want to be heard and understood. So how can I heal from this exhaustion of not being understood? I can seek to understand others.” (11:00-11:11 | Kristen) • “What can I control? What can I handle because there's people on this planet right now, who can control almost nothing in their lives? So in honoring them right now, I have control and power. How can I leverage my control and power over my own life in respect to the fact that they have none? So part of de-centering yourself is understanding your place in global humanity, which I think then lets you really understand that on most days, you're doing okay.” (14:04-14:32 | Kristen) • “For me, the best way to feel heard and understood was to seek to hear and understand others. (12:10-12:19 | Kristen) • “What I know deeply is that If we decenter ourselves from our life experience, perspective becomes easier to obtain.” (12:48-13:03 | Kristen) • “If you can choose to see comparison as a fact rather than an emotion, things get a little bit easier to navigate.” (19:17-19:25 | Kristen) • “It is important for me to understand that I do not have it as bad as other people in some ways. I also have to understand that does not invalidate what I am going through. Multiple things can be true at once.” (25:32-25:50 | Kristen) • “What we have come to define empathy as is intentional understanding of yourself and others. It's making less assumptions and asking more questions.” (36:01-36:16 | Kristen) Links http://www.argooddoctors.com     http://www.instagram.com/abbeyresearch        http://www.linkedin.com/in/kristendonnellyphd        http://bit.ly/ARDigest https://www.abbey-research.com/words-we-dont-say-anymore-online-training/ XOXO, C If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sarah Vosen, FRIED Burnout Coach, discusses the importance of knowing and accepting yourself to accelerate burnout recovery. She shares how personality quizzes helped her realize her career mismatch and advocates for aligning lifestyle choices with personality type for a more fulfilling life.

Helena Lucia, trauma-informed money coach, shares insights on interrupting old patterns, healing burnout, and redefining money relationships post-cult experience. Discusses the importance of meeting basic needs, escaping a cult, breaking unconscious patterns for positive change, navigating money, burnout, and sexuality, and exploring the Finnish concept of Sisu and its relation to money.

This podcast discusses how self-care is essential for burnout recovery and explains the 8 factors within our control that can help in healing. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing internal and external factors contributing to burnout and taking steps to address them, including setting boundaries and meeting basic bodily needs.

Nneka Roberts, operations consultant at Sage Simple Solutions, has worked designing systems for 20 years. She now works with consulting clients teaching them how to implement systems to improve their businesses and lives. She shares her tips for using systems to help avoid burnout. Tune into this episode to learn more. “I think what ends up happening is that we get on the marketing, sales delivery rollercoaster, and we forget to build in support, which is a key component of your business,” explains Nneka Roberts, operations consultant at Sage Simple Solutions. Nneka’s burnout came a few years into starting her life coaching practice. She loved her career, her clients and the freedom she had, but she did not enjoy the business aspect of running the practice.  Nneka waited too long to build systems into her business and ended up burning out. She learned afterward that systems are not only necessary, but they are a form of self care. Not having support systems in place caused Nneka to get stuck doing the parts of her job that weren’t helping her grow as a coach. These tasks sucked up not only her time, but also a lot of the joy she had for her career. By investing in systems you can avoid burnout and help yourself and your business thrive for years to come.  Tune into today’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast for a conversation with Nneka Roberts about the importance of implementing systems regardless of if you are a solopreneur or are in charge of a team. Learn how to get started recording your daily processes to create your own systems and how to utilize tools as part of your systems.  Quotes • “The first few years it was like a dream come true. I had the freedom that I wanted to have. I was doing great work. I loved my clients. I was very passionate. But what started happening and I think every entrepreneur kind of goes through this, while I love the act of coaching like I enjoy coaching a lot. I did not enjoy the business thing of coaching, like finding clients and having sales goals and that sort of stuff.” (3:52-4:25)  • “I think what ends up happening is that we get on the marketing, sales delivery rollercoaster, and we forget to build in support, which is a key component of your business.” (9:10-9:23)  • “Yes, the time is one thing, the hours, minutes or seconds, you get that back for sure. But it's the mental space that it's taking up in your brain that's chomping at your capacity to create as a coach or as a creative. It's like you are focused on these little things that really don't matter. It doesn't help your creative mind. It is taking away from your creativity, as opposed to nourishing it and building it and multiplying it.” (12:10-12:39) • “Systems are those lived rituals that you've had for doing things in your business. But they are in a form that can be shared with a team, or implemented in a tool.” (16:26-16:39) • “Your work is needed. That's what I want to share with people, your work is needed. Your work is needed for your people today, it's even needed for you for today. It's needed for your people today. And it's gonna be needed in generations to come. So you want to build your business so that it's available for generations to come.” (40:57-41:18) • “I would say that systems are self care. They are the fourth prong in your business, they call it they help you help to support you. And make the time, take the time to invest in them.” (50:18-50:33) Links https://sagesimplesolutions.com/     https://www.instagram.com/sagesimplesolutions/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/nnekakelly/ bit.ly/ssswhotohire XOXO, C If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait Check out the FRIED Burnout quiz: https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz Register for the May 2022 FRIED Masterclass: https://www.caitdonovan.com/offers/fSKNzXzh Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FRIED burnout coach Sarah Vosen discusses rebuilding trust with yourself during burnout recovery. Learn how to listen to your body's signals, prioritize self-care, and start the process of rebuilding self-trust. Understand the importance of tuning in to what your body needs and responding accordingly to aid in burnout recovery.

“If you are no longer curious, the best of your life is behind you because the best of your life is being curious,” shares Dan Sykes, Founder of the Somatic Training Network and author of Somatic Fanatic. Dan’s burnout came as a result of a midlife crisis. He found relief in the somatic arts, the art of training the nervous system, and aims to share the importance of nervous system training with the world.  Dan found himself experiencing a midlife crisis after his divorce, in part because he had chosen his wife over his desired filmmaking career. He found himself divorced, seemingly shut out of the career he had desired for himself decades prior, and staring down another thirty to forty years of life. When Dan discovered sistema, a Russian martial art that trains the nervous system, he found both psychological and physical relief from his burnout. He now works to share the somatic arts with others and to make nervous system training more widely known in the Western world.  Tune into today’s episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast for a conversation with Dan Sykes about the importance of the nervous system and the roles it plays in all aspects of life. Learn to retrain your nervous system as a way to heal from burnout.  Quotes  • “Midlife crisis to me is when you come to feel that the world is still in the midst of having this party of being alive and you’re no longer invited, and yet you’re looking at another 30 or 40 years of being around the planet. That’s what midlife crisis felt like to me.” (8:16-8:36) • “The reason we retain all this chronic tension is because our nervous system has forgotten how to feel these muscles. As it forgets how to feel them, it forgets that it can let go.” (19:51-20:09)  • “I learned once again to lead everything I do curiosity first. Where instead of me pushing myself to accomplish, I got curious of what might be possible in every area of my life.” (26:45-27:11) • “Nervous system is as crucial a part of wellness as nutrition or strength training or relaxation of other kinds. It’s kind of the missing link. My mission is that hopefully 10 years from now everyone in the West will know that you have to train your nervous system on a regular basis.” (45:16-45:39)  • “Your nervous system runs your entire experience of living. It takes in all sense and it does all commands so when you improve the function of your nervous system, all these areas of life get simultaneous benefit.” (46:05-46:20) • “If you’re predominantly feeling emotional pain, focus on the physical side of nervous system training. Move and feel. If you’re predominantly feeling physical pain, you should focus temporarily predominantly on the emotional side.” (48:00-48:27)  • “If you are no longer curious, the best of your life is behind you, because the best of your life is being curious.” (52:57-53:21)  Links https://linkedin.com/dansykes https://somatictrainingnetwork.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUemR2opnKZBeClFxarQbSg https://podcastconnection.org/dansykes/ https://www.youtube.com/c/EMERGENCYFISHPARTY XOXO, C If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you a healer that struggles with asking for help? When you’re used to wearing all the hats and doing everything yourself, it can be really difficult to realize when you need to reach out. In this week’s #straightfromcaitandsarah episode, Cait and FRIED Burnout coach Sarah Vosen talk about how to recognize hyper-independence and how to ask for what you need. Highly sensitive people have a strong pull toward helping others, but often neglect themselves. If you try to do everything yourself, you run the risk of heading straight for burnout. Healers are so used to taking care of everyone else and never asking others for similar help. It can be uncomfortable to release that control and ask for help or to recognize when it is time to hire someone so you can take off some of those hats. When you find yourself feeling resentment toward responsibilities in your life, it is important to evaluate those feelings. If something you are doing causes resentment, it may be possible to stop doing that thing or to delegate it to someone else.  Tune into this week’s #straightfromcaitandsarah episode for a conversation about healing the healers, recognizing hyper-independence, and asking for help. Learn how to evaluate your needs and set healthy boundaries.  Quotes • “It’s totally acceptable and okay to know things as well as you know them today and then learn something new tomorrow and have that be truer or newer or updated information.” (8:42-8:55 | Cait) • “I do think that highly sensitive folks tend to want to help and I think that’s because of the heightened empathy that people tend to feel.” (11:20-11:30 | Sarah) • “I had big aspirations and this desire, but I didn’t recognize that I didn’t have what it took. I set myself up for failure with these huge expectations, but I never actually looked and asked myself, is this realistic?” (16:06-16:22 | Sarah) • “I really don’t believe that you can keep yourself out of burnout long term if you’re not really clear on what success means to you.” (17:02-17:14 | Cait) • “I wasn’t recognizing that investing in someone would be a benefit. I was just seeing it as a loss. But also, I always felt like I couldn’t ever work enough to really get my head above water. I think it’s kind of the way I’m wired. I can’t see that many people. I give a lot, I want to spend time with people. And I wasn’t charging enough for what I was giving to make it work. So I was charging the same amount as an acupuncturist who would just throw needles in and leave, but I was doing massage, I was doing acupuncture, coaching them, giving a lot of attention and lifestyle suggestions and all sorts of things. But I wasn’t charging accordingly. I was doing all the admin, the insurance billing. I was cleaning. I don’t know, all the things. All the hats.” (20:35-21:30 | Sarah)  • “Something gave me the idea early on in life that I will not get what I want. So I shouldn’t even ask. Shouldn’t even try.” (21:53-22:04 | Sarah) • “If you find out you have resentment about something, the first question is, does this thing actually need to be done at all?” (32:40-32:48 | Cait) Links  https://caitdonovan.com/resentment-journal https://caitdonovan.as.me/sarah XOXO, C If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn from Frenchie Ferenczi about the importance of setting clear expectations and boundaries in entrepreneurship to avoid burnout. She shares her journey from hospitality to business growth strategist, emphasizing prioritizing mental health and customer experience. Discover tips on balancing personal priorities, managing boundaries, and navigating emotions for success.