Productive Flourishing Podcast

Patricia Bravo runs “Bravo for You,” a consultancy that accelerates leader capability through the use of empathetic leadership. She joins the show today to discuss empathy and leadership, and to share why it can be so hard to weave empathy and leadership together, even though it seems they should be natural partners.Key Takeaways:[2:10] - Even though it seems like empathy and leadership should walk hand in hand, the reality is that in many situations you can have leadership models that aren’t very empathetic, or empathetic habits that don’t display good leadership.[2:57] - In Patricia’s work, she helps to teach leaders in the workplace about empathetic leadership. Some common questions she gets are “How can you show up as an empathetic leader while managing performance?” or “How can you juggle making important business decisions and being empathetic?”[4:15] - Many leaders are struggling with the work environments they are in - volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous (VUCA). Many leaders are commended for their performance and delivery within a business context, but not so often for the context and quality of their leadership. Despite this, leaders who invest in empathetic leadership are able to achieve more productivity through motivation and the results they get from their team members.[6:52] - In some cases, there may be a little hard-headedness about adopting empathetic leadership, but in other cases leaders are just struggling with how to be more empathetic, rather than a rejection of the idea. Patricia had begun to notice that there is a hunger for empathy in the workplace, especially from team members for their leaders.[9:25] - The definition of empathy that Patricia uses for leaders is from Daniel Goleman: The ability to understand the emotional makeup of others, and the skill in then treating people according to their emotional reactions. They also discuss what empathy is not; it is different from sympathy and compassion. Patricia talks about what these things are, as well as how they relate to and intertwine with empathy.[11:58] - How can leaders balance empathy with ensuring they’re treating everybody the same? One of the benefits of empathetic leadership is that you can customize to an individual team member’s preference. As a result, the team member is more likely to continue to want to connect with their leader - it helps to establish a sense of trust.[14:03] - Charlie talks about some of the tension that still remains. Middle managers often desire empathy the most, but at the same time struggle with executing it because of the pressure they receive from so many sides.[17:18] - Some leaders find the speed of business today to be quite challenging. It is important to have some quick wins to demonstrate your success as a leader. One of the things Patricia suggests is for leaders to spend time early in the development of relationships with their team members learning about preferences and how they can meet team members where they’re at.[18:29] - In her empathetic leader model, she encourages leaders to really try to relate with the individuals they are trying to connect with. The first thing you should do with a team is actually work out the empathetic stuff.[21:21] - What are the first things leaders should do when they take over a leadership position? What would the first steps be in fostering empathetic leadership? The first thing Patricia advises is to try and do a quick assessment of what level of empathy their teams deserves. The second thing to think about is to what degree you are engaging your own emotions.[23:44] - One of the first things you can do as new leader, is show up in an empathetic manner for your team members and demonstrate your interest in understanding their perspective. A meeting with your team to share your approach is helpful before you continue on to one-on-one meetings. If there is a situation that is more chaotic, it may be beneficial to first meet with individuals before you meet collectively as a team.[29:05] - Part of what you’re trying to do in this stage is figure out the culture and values of your team. This can help you get to the unstated cultural norms that could get in the way of you being an empathetic leader. As you listen, you can look at nonverbal cues and the emotions behind what’s being stated.[32:48] - Patricia talks about how she got involved in the work of empathetic leadership. Looking through all of her experiences, she noticed that leaders who led with empathy differentiated themselves at work because they got different results from people. They were able to increase their followership. There was not a lot of research on empathy in the workplace, so she began compiling these findings into her work. Her earliest experiences around empathy came from her grandmother, and have now translated into some of the work she does.[36:04] - Empathy and compassion seem to have a gendered component to them. The research shows that women have a natural tendency toward empathy, but Patricia likes to focus on the fact that empathy is gender agnostic. So despite our natural tendencies, we all have the ability to develop and enhance our empathetic leadership. One of the things she does to engage with this is to just have a conversation about people’s experiences and what their objections are.[39:07] - Many people may struggle with finding a balance between displaying a healthy amount of empathy and coming across as too “soft.” Patricia encourages people to experiment within the context of their environment to find a balance, and then practice with some regularity. In any case, just try it and see what results you get.[41:34] - How can we create an organizational habit of empathetic leadership? One of the things about empathetic leadership is that it stands the test of time, because of that emotional connection. A good way to maintain empathetic leadership in your work environment is by partnering with one or two other people to stay connected on the topic.[44:10] - Charlie and Patricia talk about how to implement empathetic leadership throughout the hierarchy in the workplace. As someone who is new to the workplace and not necessarily in a leadership position, you can engage in self-study and create a small community to talk about the idea of empathy (see below for Patricia’s book recommendations). At the middle management layer, it’s about finding moments to figure out where you can invest. Think about incorporating empathy into existing parts of your day. At the senior level, Patricia encourages first testing on some keyholders in the organization to hopefully gather support and help advocate for bringing it to the whole organization. They often have the most resources with which to experiment and can decide the most appropriate way to incorporate it.[52:34] - There is a personal responsibility here to help implement empathetic leadership in your organization.[54:06] - Patricia’s invitation/ challenge for listeners: She is really interested in hearing the stories that people have around empathy. She would love to hear your stories - contact her via her website Bravo For You. Her challenge is for you to try and lead with empathy in a different way than you have in the past, or try to incorporate it into your work if it’s new for you.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingBravo for YouCan You Grow into Level 5 Leadership?, by Jim CollinsEmotional Intelligence, by Daniel GolemanThe Speed of Trust, by Stephen M.R. CoveyCo-Active Coaching, by Laura WhitworthThe Coaching Habit, by Michael Bungay StanierLeave a ReviewPatricia’s and Charlie’s Recommendations:Brené BrownWired to Care, by Dev PatnaikPatricia’s ResearchTouchPoints, by Douglas Conant and Mette Norgaard This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

In today’s episode, New York Times Best-Selling author of eight books and creator of the Open Heart Project Susan Piver, joins Charlie to talk about the links between mindfulness and creativity. During the discussion, both Charlie and Susan share some of what they’ve learned in their own practices that help them go back in when they get distracted, lost, or afraid.Key Takeaways:[2:57] - In her previous appearances on the show, Charlie and Susan talked about how meditation is not just about what happens while you’re meditating, but what it powers after you meditate. Meditation can help you become more creative and productive. In both meditation and creative work, you do two things simultaneously: we use our minds in a very precise way, but there’s also a sense of expanded awareness. In these instances, the thinking becomes one-pointed and spacious at the same time.[7:27] - Both meditation and the creative process are open to distractions (whether that be losing the breath or losing a creative thread), which which may require the art of “going back in” to continue creating or meditating. There is a weird duality in both where you’re focused on one aspect, but you become aware of so much more.[10:02] - Charlie and Susan talk about mindfulness and the choice that happens when you’re presented with a distraction, fear, or emotion. Many people may have the impression that those distractions, fears, and emotions go away, but more often than not it is a choice to return from those things and get back into the creative space. The same methods of returning don’t work for everyone, and that’s okay.[14:55] - One of the consequences of meditation is that you’re able to access deeper parts of yourself - parts that you don’t think about on a conscious basis or pieces of yourself that only show up sometimes. Susan has found a lack of division between what’s hidden and what’s not hidden; it seems like one ongoing process. To her, the creation of the environment for those things to arise is what really matters, more than the choices she makes in the way she relates to herself.[17:22] - Referring to a principle from Buddhism, Susan discusses the container principle, which states that the environment in which something occurs is inseparable from the something that occurs. This can be important for finding an environment that will allow creative flourishing. She has found it really useful to create a world where she feels well. In these instances, the environment becomes a source of spiritual nourishment and a source of confidence.[20:07] - Charlie talks about the importance of finding a conducive space for creative work, and how this translates into being mindful throughout the day of the environments, relationships, and stories that you’re creating for yourself. This mindfulness helps us to be good at being ourselves.[26:08] - One of the major links between meditation and the creative process is the sense of being in a place where you’re “falling” but there is no ground - you may be trying to harness your words for a post, or energy during meditation, but there is no way you can contain it all. You are surrounded by all these possibilities that may be hard to focus into one point. The human condition is full of these paradoxes.[32:15] - One of the best things we can do for ourselves as creatives is just get started. As we become more practiced in turning away from distractions, it gets easier to start. While it’s important to plan and draw influence, the real magic comes from joining in.[39:30] - A new practice Charlie has started is calling himself out on what tools and equipment are necessary to meditate or create. Don’t let a lack of resources be an excuse not to do or create something.[46:16] - In cases where you don’t have the right tools, you have two options. You can either find or create a tool that will help you, or you can fight through those distractions and make it work.[48:50] - The important thread of today’s episode is that the skills and practices learned from mindfulness and meditation can help you be more prolific, creative, and productive. In the same way, the skills used in productivity and creativity will likely help you be more mindful and more present in the world.[51:03] - Susan leaves us the following challenge/ invitation: Relax. Do you remember how to relax? If so, please do it more; if not, please reconnect.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingOpen Heart ProjectSusan PiverProductive Flourishing Podcast Episode 4: Become More Mindful with Susan PiverProductive Flourishing Podcast Episode 54: Demystifying Meditation with Susan Piver3 Growth Oriented Ways to Explore Your Creative Edge, by Larry Robertson on Productive FlourishingThe War of Art, by Steven PressfieldBywordLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Meighan is a digital strategist who previously ran My Love For You, and was recruited by Yahoo! to work as a social media strategist. On today’s episode, she shares some of what she’s learned during her years in the digital trenches of creative work. Meighan and Charlie cover topics like the role of her community in her online work, the importance of starting and continuing to make things online, and working through the fear that comes along with creative stuff with and for other people.Key Takeaways:[2:50] - During her online career, Meighan’s moved back and forth between San Francisco and Boston a couple of times. She had built up an online community in San Francisco, and found that the community was hard to replace or sustain in Boston. While she has found some online communities and made connections in Boston, she has found that it has had a negative impact to not have a local community to engage with and recharge.[6:20] - Many introverts have a powerful group of people, usually local, that they’re connecting with that’s feeding them. One of the things introverts tend to pull together and transmute is the social energy around them, but the group from which introverts draw this social energy is usually pretty selective.[9:00] - While Meighan’s family is very supportive, it can be hard to explain her work to people who aren’t connected. It is important to find a community of peers and colleagues that can help to foster creative work online.[13:47] - Online businesses (and really every business) will likely face an internal disruption and an external disruption every 18 months. There’s a content wheel that is always spinning, and when you enter those creative spaces, you have to think about where you are now, and where you’ll be in a year. Things are constantly changing based on what people want.[19:09] - Meighan is always coming back to her “Why” to keep her moving forward in her business. It is important to pay attention to why you do what you do, rather than getting caught up in vanity metrics.[21:04] - Meighan talks about how she began her journey with online creative work. She originally ran an online art blog. She talks about the change in how easy it was to turn her idea into something that people would want to consume. Thinking back to those times when she first started helps Meighan to move forward in creative stuff and doing new things in her current business. Even though there may be a lot out there now, it is never too late to get started![28:48] - When you’re first creating something new, you have to start so you can get in front of people and see what works. At the very start, you’re in one of the best places because nobody is paying attention yet. When you finally put it online, it takes on a life of its own.[32:43] - Meighan and Charlie talk about failure. One of the things Meighan has learned is that as a business owner, you constantly have to have different ideas, and not all of those ideas are going to make it. You can’t let little setbacks keep you from moving forward. Even if an idea might not work, it’s still important to do it anyway.[36:35] - As creative people, you never get to a point where you’ve made it; you’re only continually making it. At a certain point, the good stuff rises to the top and you get good about showing the good stuff. Meighan suggests there’s a balance between arrogance and humility when it comes to our expectations about our work.[40:00] - Charlie and Meighan talk about steps taken to learn new things in order to grow. In the beginning, learning new things for yourself is really fun. But there may come a time when it’s worth it to invest some money or switch programs to reach your goals quicker.[43:55] - Meighan talks about doing a lot of coaching around fear, and her own experience with fear. She talks about how this influences her work and how it ties into her connection to her community.[48:18] - Being authentic and being open are two different things. Strive to be your authentic self and tell the stories that will enhance the connections you make with people.[49:55] - Meighan’s challenge: Create what you’ve been putting off. Forget about the beautiful website or the right name; just start.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingQuiet, by Susan CainThe Small Business Life Cycle, by Charlie GilkeyTara GentileMy Love For You.Meighan O’Toole This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

In this episode, Angela joins Charlie to talk about tipping points in your career or business that require you to change something. These tipping points could be changing in family arrangements, burn out, or a number of different things. They look at these periods of time when you’re going through something and you can’t do “business as usual,” how to recognize those times, and what to do to deal with them.Key Takeaways:[3:50] - With summertime rolling in, for people who may be more naturally energetic in the earlier parts of the year, the changing of the season can create different tensions as you start to slow down. While it’s important to listen to these signals, they may not always coincide with your business demands.[6:27] - Whether you’re burnt out, “well done,” or you see it coming, these are all things to be paying attention to. This may also be a good time to invite some reflection into your life.[8:27] - While these situations may look different for different people, they are all situations where we need to be internally more aware. No matter what your work situation is, it’s important to be able to tune in to where your energy is at and what is going on in your personal and work life.[11:00] - Many of our creative listeners are constantly pushing and driving. One of the life lessons to learn is to moderate the driving, or lean into the driving in certain ways. It can be easy to localize what we’re going through, but there seems to always be something else that needs to be done. Zoom out - don’t look at just what you have to do this week or this month. Look for patterns to make sure you’re not overworking yourself.[17:32] - One thing that happens for Charlie when he gets in these situations is that it takes him a lot of effort to engage with projects he usually enjoys (and also that need to get done). For example, writing is usually cathartic, but that’s one of the things he has trouble with when he’s getting close to well-done. When he notices this, he is able to ease up slowly to avoid reaching the burn out stage.[23:17] - For Angela, there are a few things that start to happen. She can usually tell when she’s getting closer to burn out by the fact that her mood is more easily upset, and she tends to focus on things that aren’t very helpful.[26:55] - Both Charlie and Angela pay attention to their behaviors as an indicator of their emotional state. All of us have different ways in which the toll of stressors show up for us. You may have to ask yourself “what am I doing that’s uncharacteristic of me?” or “what’s different and what could be causing it?”[30:35] - Some reasons for these feelings creeping up could be changes in your external world, rather than you, or your work. Any of these things can increase emotional and cognitive pressure. Sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge how they’re affecting us.[33:28] - Business and life are always connected. We have to acknowledge when work bleeds into our lives outside work.[35:02] - What do we do when we notice ourselves in these situations? Charlie advocates for self-compassion - when you notice you’re going through something, the first response should not be to just soldier on. Before you jump right into fixing, acknowledge that something’s going on and take it seriously.[37:08] - Whenever you know that something major is happening in your world, stop and think about how it affects you and what you had planned to do. Think about how it may requiring you to shift around the things you need to do.[38:33] - Finally, try not to make a really drastic change, because this seems to make things considerably worse. Go through the process of who might be able to help you lighten your load or share responsibilities. If the load becomes too heavy to bear for you, find people and other sources to help distribute that load.[42:36] - As he wraps this episode up, Charlie encourages you to think about where you are as far as the total load that you carry in your life, and seeing where you are on the spectrum on the way to well-done. Be compassionate with yourself about what you discover. No matter where you are, be thinking about what personal resources or practices you have that you can go to if you are getting too close to burnt-out. Building this team before you need it can help you avoid crashing and burning.[46:22] - There are many people out there dealing with a similar feeling or situation, and Angela hopes that you will take some time to reflect on anything that has resonated with you in this episode, and pay attention to that.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingFalling Upward, by Richard RohrLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Today’s guest is Bryce Bladon, author of Hell to Pay 2: Everything a Freelancer Needs to Earn Good Money, and editor-in-chief of Clients From Hell. He joins Charlie to discuss the differences between being an entrepreneur and a freelancer. So many creative professionals get stuck and confused because they are unsure about what type of business they’re building, and why they’re choosing that kind of business.Key Takeaways:[2:02] - Bryce thinks that freelancing is going to be the way of creative professionals in the future. Based on surveys conducted by the Freelancers Union, it is predicted that more than 40% of the US workforce is freelancing in some capacity. While it may take different forms, freelancing essentially means personal self-employment.[3:23] - Is there a difference between an entrepreneur and a freelancer? A freelancer is typically selling skills or services in their one-person (for the most part) business, while an entrepreneur is usually trying to start a business that will grow and scale, and may possibly be interested in selling it. Historically, freelancing is the way most creatives were employed.[6:01] - Now, we are seeing more of a renaissance of freelancing (and entrepreneurship), as some aspects of today’s workplace make it hard to employ really specialized talent. Advances in technology and changes in mindset have also given rise to many tools and platforms that are empowering for creators.[9:25] - The defining difference for Bryce between an entrepreneur and a freelancer is how each business scales. While there is overlap - maybe the entrepreneurial spirit is in a freelancer, or the meaningful, personal touch may be there as an entrepreneur builds his business - the difference lies in what your ultimate goals are and how you see yourself doing this three or five years down the road.[13:40] - Another big difference is that entrepreneurs typically take more financial risks, acquiring investors and hoping to gain profit. For a lot of freelance businesses, they are able to work on a smaller scale and get paid for the work they produce. Bryce talks about some of the lifestyle and work style differences between the two.[15:43] - Charlie talks about how the nature of entrepreneurs and freelancers has changed, and how perhaps our definitions need to expand to include more types of businesses. There is some grey space between the two extremes of entrepreneurs and freelancers, where the term solo-preneur seems appropriate.[20:05] - Labels aside, it all comes back to what you’re trying to do. There are different trajectories based on what your goals are. Once you determine what you’re trying to achieve, you can figure out what business models are going to work best for you.[21:28] - There are some skills that a freelancer should have: some amount of marketing, business, and accounting skills would be helpful to help them promote and manage their services. These skills are arguably more important for entrepreneurs because they are usually trying to build a big business, and need a solid foundation to keep building up.[24:08] - As you creative people think about your pathway forward, one way of thinking about it is specialist versus generalist. An entrepreneur needs to be a better generalist that thinks about several things at the same time. A freelancer will need to be a better specialist, that hones their skill to be better than whatever is out there.[28:30] - Another big difference is that almost anyone can freelance in some capacity, but not everyone can become an entrepreneur, at least at the start. There needs to be an appreciation of the risks you’re going to be taking before you take them.[30:00] - Many businesses start by selling a service, and this can sometimes morph into selling a product. Starting with selling a craft or a skill is something that most people can do. Building products around that requires a different skill set with a different mentality around it.[36:24] - No matter where you are on the spectrum (entrepreneur, freelancer, solo-preneuer), most people’s first business either fails or is not the business that ends up being sustainable in the long-term. Where you start is very rarely going to be anywhere close to where you will be when that business matures.[37:57] - The scale of risk that you might take when starting a freelance or service-based business is much lower than making a product and all that that encompasses.[41:11] - Charlie and Bryce talk about how startup companies differ from many of the other freelance/entrepreneurial companies out there. It is not logical for all businesses to grow tenfold. You have to think about what makes sense for the individual business in terms of what you hope to accomplish. You need to be able to answer the question, am I building a business that I will want to be in in five years?[43:16] - Many people get into the freelance business for personal growth reasons. Though they may not be more financially independent, they are enjoying a higher quality of life. The real payout for Bryce is the idea of independence, and what you can do with it, and how you spend your time with regards to the business.[46:43] - The market and opportunities for freelancing are only getting better these days, and that’s a very exciting thing. Freelancing is a great vehicle for autonomy, mastery, and purpose. In some of the smaller companies that are emerging, you get an opportunity to have the freedom of creativity with the security of getting a paycheck. When you drop the six-figure expectation, you can find a balance of work that works for you, your clients, and your life and relationships at the same time.[49:03] - Bryce’s challenge for listeners: Find and reach out to somebody who is doing something that inspires you or that you would like to do someday. Say something nice about what they’ve done and what it has done for you.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingBryce BladonClients from HellDrive, by Dan PinkHell to Pay 2, by Bryce BladonLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

In today’s episode, Cory Huff joins Charlie to discuss how to think through whether to start a new business, to jump to another project, or to not grow your business as you consider dimensions of your life that you’d like to advance. Cory’s advice comes after a year of deciding to scale his business and the trials he learned from along the way.Key Takeaways:[4:11] - Both Cory and Charlie are “accidental entrepreneurs,” but they both ended up running successful businesses - and are thinking of ideas for more! The daily journey is understanding which of the ideas you have are congruent with your business, and which of those are worth pursuing.[6:12] - This conversation grew out of the fact that Cory has deemed 2017 his “pivot year.” As he has been trying to grow his current business (The Abundant Artist), and not seeing the results he expected, he began to wonder if this business was one that was meant to scale. If not, what happens next? He has been doing a lot of experimenting, both within and outside the fine arts field, where his current business resides - as well as starting some personal projects.[11:38] - Charlie talks about some of the motivation for starting a business, and how we measure our happiness and success. In many cases, especially for entrepreneurial businesses, the key metric becomes joy and happiness rather than large numbers and money. Evaluating these different factors can help determine where your focus should be for your business to achieve the things you want.[16:13] - Cory takes us back to 2016 when the goal for his business was scaling. His reason for wanting to scale was mostly to figure out how to reach more artists and help them quit their day jobs to focus on their art. He tried different things like putting on a big conference, and putting together a marketing agency for artists. While these things didn’t work out, he used them as learning opportunities, and has kept his goal to reach more artists as he pursues different ventures.[19:54] - When deciding whether to pivot and stay within your own business or do something completely different, it’s important to think about how ready the marketplace is for a new type of business. It is important to engage with your customers and potential client-base to be able to create what they want. Cory talks about his experience with this and why some of his previous pursuits didn’t take off.[24:45] - The Abundant Artist has reached its local max. While there is still some opportunity for growth, Cory doesn’t feel like he could really improve the product enough to grow 10x.Cory talks about some of the different things they tried and how he determined it might be time to do something different. If your reach ambitions have reached a certain plateau, it might be time to question if it’s a market problem.[31:31] - Charlie talks about the possibility of moving some of the Productive Flourishing resources into an app. He talks about some of the specific struggles he would face in doing this, and weighing these pros and cons to determine if developing an app is something he would want to take on.[38:12] - As you’re looking at different things to move forward - whether that is adding an element to your business or starting another business - the first thing to think about is whether you really want to win that game. You have to consider what other things you might have to sacrifice to make it possible. If it is not something you really want, it may not be best to pursue that particular venture.[41:55] - Cory talks about some of the different opportunities that have popped up for him during this time of figuring out his next step. He’s struggled with this a little bit because he didn’t want to tell people he was thinking about projects outside of The Abundant Artist or have his clients think he wasn’t still serious about that project.[43:35] - It seems to be that our public life is our life, where what people see is what we’re doing. But there are things that we are doing in our private lives that may not make sense in a public narrative, but make sense for our personal lives. Charlie discusses his personal experience with this dichotomy.[46:35] - When you’re thinking about new business opportunities, try to avoid the “either/or” scenario and try to make it an “and” scenario. This can help to balance not only the work for your different projects, but also the outcomes of those projects. If you take an “and” model, you want to adjust your expectations to match the effort delusion.[49:08] - Another thing that Cory has been thinking about is not only what he should do and how, but who he should do it with. He’s been a solo business owner for a while now (bar his work with a publisher for his book) and he’s been trying to open himself up to the idea of partnering with people to collaborate on projects. Partnership and collaboration requires giving up a bit of control and freedom, but could be a really good thing as well.[57:00] - If you’re normally in a collaborative environment, it can be good to have solo side projects, or vice versa. These opportunities may allow you be in a different leadership mode or tap into a different skill set. Perhaps, starting a new project would give you the chance to cultivate and master different parts of yourself that your current business won’t let you.[59:05] - Cory leaves us with these two things: 1) If you are a visual artist and you are looking for help with marketing your stuff, reach out to Cory at theabundantartist.com and 2) He is open to collaborations right now, so if you have anything you’re looking to jumpstart - let him know!Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingThe Abundant ArtistHow to Sell Your Art Online, by Cory HuffPivot, by Jenny BlakeRyan Levesque’s Ask MethodologyContact Cory: cory@theabundantartist.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

In today’s episode, Fiona Dawson and Charlie talk about fluid identities in sexuality, the role that the US military plays in social change, and what happens on the other side of success. Fiona is the director of the New York Times short-opinion documentary “Transgender, at War and in Love.” Her other projects elevate stories about transgender people in the military and she has been recognized for her work with the LGBT community.Key Takeaways:[2:15] - Charlie and Fiona introduce the context of her work, the inspiration for her projects, and her background. Her goal with her media is to make topics that may seem dry or boring, entertaining and engaging.[3:56] - She moved from the United Kingdom to the United States when she met her ex-husband while she was volunteering in Bangladesh. This is part of where her exposure to the US military began, and thus the start of many of her projects.[5:30] - In 2012, Fiona came out as bisexual when she had previously identified as lesbian. Charlie and Fiona talk about how there are still some underserved communities within the LGBTQ+ community - it seems to be predominantly lesbian or gay. Fiona attributes some of this to the binary model present in society. Even though there have been advances, there is still some bi-phobia and bi-stigma.[7:53] - Fiona shares her story of self-discovery, and how her experiences have helped to shape her views on the spectrum. She defines bisexual as having the capacity to be attracted to someone who is similar to her, or different from her, which really expands the whole concept of gender.[9:50] - In a video, Fiona expressed ideas of ethics and normativity of identifying as bisexual after previously identifying as something else. After conversations with others, Fiona wanted to bring some stereotypes to light and show that they are not true. Statistics show that bisexual people actually face higher rates of violence, have poorer health care, and are more discriminated in the community, despite making up nearly 52% of the LGBTQ+ community. Only in the last year or so has she seen LGBTQ organizations trying to make amends for this.[15:35] - Charlie talks about how many of these issues present for bisexual people (the binary constriction) may extend and can be applied to other areas of life such as race. So much of the confusion rests with “either/or” thinking rather than “both/and.”[17:30] - Fiona talks about fluidity in gender identity and sexuality. From her personal experience and the experience of those around her, many people come out at different stages in their life. She talks specifically about people who come out at a later age in life, rather than as a young person. She also talks about gender fluidity and some different expressions of this, and how they can be limited by binary thinking rather than a spectrum.[20:50] - There’s a certain part of our make-up where these labels that we have make it easier for us to associate in the world at the base level. On one hand, this is how our world is comprehensible and navigable for us. Where we have to be careful is if we use these labels in conscious and unconscious ways to limit people’s abilities to be connected within their communities.[24:35] - These stigmas, privileged or not, can create a preconceived image that we feel like we have to live up to, whether it’s true to ourselves or not. Being able to break down the binary way that we are seeing people present themselves can maybe help us become more empathetic and respectful.[28:30] - Fiona and Charlie discuss these ideas as it applies to the workplace, and how to involve more people in your diversity initiatives.[29:11] - Fiona shares her inspiration for her work with TransMilitary. She feels that exploring the stories of people in the military, one of the most gender binary workplaces, can help us to understand and move forward in helping people rethink the binary definition of gender.[31:13] - In Charlie’s leadership role, one of the biggest challenges was seeing the way future leaders were groomed, and how unintentionally exclusive it was towards women. Charlie lends his experience on how he’s seen gender roles play out in the military, and how changes here can be one of the greatest vehicles for social change.[35:45] - This is precisely why Fiona chose to pursue her efforts with transgender people in the military. In 2004, when she came out as gay, she was working to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. After it was repealed in 2011, she didn’t realize that there was still a ban against transgender people, due to outdated policies and procedures still written into the department of defense regulations. While trans people were serving effectively, they were fighting for freedoms they weren’t being granted themselves.[39:49] - Around 2011-2012, Fiona came to understand this and got together with some of her friends to create a media project to help elevate their stories to raise awareness. In the beginning of 2015, the New York Times picked up her project and she teamed up with Side by Side Studios and that’s where Transgender, at War and in Love, came about. Three things came together - the advocacy and storytelling, research being done by the Palm Center, and the media storm - and the ban was lifted on June 30, 2016.[43:00] - Charlie talks about the remaining discourse between rights at a state level and a federal level. There is still a striking difference between those who are fighting for freedoms of people they don’t know, while still being denied those in their own communities.[45:21] - Fiona has been nominated for an Emmy for her work with TransMilitary. If she could do anything, she would host a TV show where she shares positive ways people are fighting to end stigma. While this didn’t come to fruition, she used this to inspire the way she lives her life on this Earth right now to continue making a difference, hence her work (and success!) with TransMilitary.[48:45] - Fiona talks about the struggle of reaching success. Despite all that we achieve, it can still be hard to feel like we’ve achieved success. Fiona finds solace in appreciating the daily moments and the hidden experiences that make us all successful every single day. Of course, she has achieved some pretty great things with her team to change the United States military.[51:41] - Charlie talks about what happens after we achieve great success - sometimes we can lose our drive or the thing we were chasing that shaped our whole world. In the wake of Fiona’s current success, she began to feel like she didn’t have a place anymore, and there have been other happenings in the world that have affected her outlook. But today, she is inspired by her continued work on her collaborative feature film, and uses the stories as inspiration for change. She hopes that her project will allow her to have honest conversations with people about their worldview in the hopes of bringing about awareness and understanding.[1:00:38] - The final message Fiona would like to leave with our listeners is this: “If you know what makes you feel alive, go do it.”Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingFiona DawsonTransgender, at War and in Love, by Fiona DawsonTransMilitaryMovement Advancement ProjectLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

In this last episode of the Creative Giant Show, we discuss why we’re ending it and what comes next. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

This episode is a requested reading of a previous post on Productive Flourishing named “12 Simple Ways to Be Present.” This post shares twelve simple ways to be more present in your day-to-day life, and to take a pause when life wants to push you headlong.Key Takeaways:[0:53] - Learning to be present helps us refrain from thinking about what we could’ve or should’ve done, and worrying about the uncertainties of the future. Charlie explores twelve ways to be present, ordered from things that you can do pretty easily, to items further down the list that take a little more effort.[1:55] - Look for ways that you can stack these tips to get the most out of your time being present.[2:16] - 1. Drink water: Drinking water works because it makes sure your emotional state is not a reflection of your being dehydrated, it makes you slow down and breathe, and it gets you to take a break from your external situation.[3:15] - 2. Breathe deeply: Charlie shares a breathing technique called “combat breathing” that has you breathe in while counting to zero, hold for four counts, and breathe out for four counts. He gives suggestions on how you can incorporate this into your daily life.[4:06] - 3. Wiggle your toes: Charlie shares some different ways to move your toes that can help you remain present. Find whatever feels right for you while actively moving your toes. Toe wiggling also reminds Charlie of the love, presence, support, gratitude, and forgiveness available to him when he’s present.[5:38] - 4. Stretch: A stiff, constricted body leads to anxiety - we can use our bodies to create moods. Stretching can help break a cycle of tension and anxiety, as well as incorporate breathing deeply.[6:35] - 5. Take a meditation moment: Despite common belief, meditation does not have to require a lot of time to do, and doesn’t necessarily have to be done a certain way. Charlie suggests using Insight Timer and Gateway to Presence as a start to incorporate meditation into your daily life.[7:42] - 6. Take a jam break: Be intentional about taking jam breaks. In your work environment, look for safe spots for a jam party; the important thing is that it’s music that you really feel.[8:58] - 7. Step away from all electronics, including your phone: Going beyond notifications, when we hold our phones we are prone to start doing what this tool helps us to do - checking an email or sending a text. To be present, step away from all electronics so you’re not priming your mind and body to do all the activities that are probably preventing you from being present anyway.[10:32] - 8. Shut off all but critical notifications from your devices: Think about the importance of what notifications mean - is knowing someone liked a post really nourishing? Getting notifications that don’t really matter can pull us out of being present and we may miss out on something even more important.[11:37] - 9. Get some nature therapy: Nature can serve as a vehicle to improve cognitive functioning. The stimuli that exist in nature focus our attention in ways that relieve stress, versus the type in urban environments that tend to induce stress.[12:40] - 10. Play with kids and pets: Playing with kids and pets fire up our oxytocin factories. Oxytocin is a key hormone that promotes trust, relaxation, and happiness in humans. Oxytocins can cause us to pay closer attention to socially relevant stimuli.[14:00] - 11. Declutter your space: Clutter forces our brains to chunk cluttered areas into one unified mess, and reminds us of unfinished business. It’s hard to be present in a cluttered space, if we’re always thinking about the clutter and what needs to be done with it.[15:03] - 12. Ask what really matters now: Even our to-do lists can be cluttered. A clean list that’s focused only on what really matters to the person right then is very beneficial. Charlie shares a procedure for how you can work to create a clean to-do list that is focused on what really needs to be accomplished now.[17:22] - All of the tips are right for you! You can’t go wrong with any of them, and some may be simple enough to accomplish right now.Mentioned in This Episode:Creative Giant Campfire Facebook Group12 Simple Ways to be Present, Blog Post, on Productive Flourishing21 Ways to Quickly Short-Circuit a Funk, on Productive FlourishingThe Creative Giant Show Episode 54: Demystifying Meditation with Susan PiverGateway to Presence Guided Meditation, by Tara BrachOpen Heart ProjectEnvironmental Preference and Restoration, by Koole, S. L., van der Wulp, N. Y. & van den Berg, A. E.Oxytocin-gaze Positive Loop, and the Coevolution of Human-Dog Bonds, by Nagasawa, M. et al.The Simple Guide to a Clutter-Free Home, by Joshua BeckerLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

In this episode, fathers/entrepreneurs Mike Bruny and Jeremie Miller join Charlie to talk about how they’ve learned to balance entrepreneurship and fatherhood. In addition to being fathers, both Jeremie and Mike have been pursuing entrepreneurial projects. In this episode, they talk about some of the challenges of being a dad, being an entrepreneur, being a hyper-creative, and juggling multiple different projects.Key Takeaways:[3:35] - Currently, Mike is working a full time gig, working part-time to get his MBA, and is father to a three-year-old son, Emerson. Before his son was born, Mike was working for Intel as a manager, and when it shut down and his son was born, he started working on projects and staying home to help raise his son. The biggest thing he noticed about fatherhood was a divide between a dad’s contributions and a mom’s.[5:22] - Jeremie is dad to a nine-year old son, Finn. He had the unique opportunity to be involved in the feeding aspects of his son’s life, and he ended up spending more time at home than “normal,” and instead of going back to a full time teaching job, he started his business and is currently a mix of entrepreneur and dad.[7:45] - One challenge comes from balancing work that makes money versus doing work that supports the family non-economically. There may still be some bias that the male journey should be focused on making money, and identity can be attached to that. Both Mike and Jeremie have struggled with “the way things are supposed to be” in terms of traditional gender roles and also some insecurity from a financial standpoint.[12:35] - Time versus money: Jeremie and his family discuss whether their family needs more time from him or more money. Though there is understanding from his wife, it is still a struggle to accept that she makes more money than him. Mike talks about how he struggles with feeling like he needs to give more of both, and how he will be able to do that.[15:20] - Charlie brings up the fact that they are pursuing their entrepreneurial ventures on less time than some of their entrepreneurial peers. Jeremie talks about the struggle of comparing his success to others who may be able to focus more of their time on their entrepreneurial ventures.[20:53] - How can child-rearing minimize, constrain, or affect creative cycles and the rate at which someone can create something? There is more at stake when there are other people (wives, kids) depending on your success. Mike talks about finding “smaller times” to get things done when he can, as well as practicing creativity in his interactions with his son; his struggle remains aligning who he is with his work.[25:30] - Jeremie found that when he began to compartmentalize his creativity and the time with his son, he was better and more focused on each. The experience for every dad is going to be different.[29:40] - Charlie and Jeremie talk about the difference between society today and how things have changed since the time they were raised. Mike adds how he has focused on some different language techniques, so Emerson can see the value of effort. And remembering these aspects for ourselves, not just conveying them to our kids, is very important.[35:30] - Once we’re aware of these aspects, it is important to create space to recognize and celebrate those things. In this space, we can work on growing and manifesting what’s possible now.[38:55] - We can’t be the best at everything all the time. Jeremie, Mike, and Charlie all talk about examples where one (or all) of our roles may fall slightly short of our expectations.[43:24] - There are several aspects of parenthood that don’t always get discussed. These types of things are most important to talk about and be honest about, even if the conversations are uncomfortable to have.[51:40] - It is important to understand that everyone will have different shame triggers. How you solve these particular challenges will be very fluid and different depending on the set of circumstances surrounding it. Finding your way of processing, discussing, and embracing these questions and challenges is the better way to go instead of not asking those questions.[53:20] - Final words from Mike and Jeremie: every day is a day to learn something new and you can do it! To all the dads out there, you’re modelling something unique and amazing for your kids. Even when you don’t feel like things are going right, you’re still bringing value tp your failures by sharing that with your children.Mentioned in This Episode:Creative Giant Campfire Facebook GroupMove the Crowd, by Mike BrunyMindset, by Carol DweckLeave A ReviewProductive Flourishing This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe