Satansplain

"Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires." That's Satanic Statement number six, the meaning of which is covered in this episode of Satansplain. Also, some emails regarding Satanism and teenagers: the stereotypes versus the ones who "get it". 00:00 - Intro 01:00 - Satanic Statement #6 and related essays 05:35 - "Not All Vampires Suck Blood!" 08:58 - Review: Envy vs. Jealousy 09:55 - Vampirized by groups 11:49 - "obligations [to] respective friends, family, and community" 15:15 - "oH iT's jUSt seLfiSHneSs hurr durr" 27:47 - Letter from a teenage Satanist: "Am I a fake?" 40:08 - Satanecdote (reflections on a teenage friend)

Satansplain #067 - Church of Satan: Cosmic Joy Buzzer (1975, 1976) Satansplain explores writings from Anton LaVey from 1975 and 1976, debunking some of the internet myths from deceased devil worshiper Michael Aquino. 00:00 - Intro 01:48 - Internet stories about the 1975 "schism" and the "theistic Satanists" who parrot them 06:12 - "Hoisted By His Own Patois" (introduction) 11:25 - "Hoisted By His Own Patois" (letter by Anton LaVey, 1975) 20:32 - Satanecdote ("Devil's advocate" / "Match made in heaven") 22:30 - About "Cosmic Joy Buzzer": introduction 23:50 - "Church of Satan: Cosmic Joy Buzzer" (Anton LaVey, 1976) 32:12 - About the phrase "Phase One Satanism" 33:38 - Essay, continued

The number 66 may not be 666, but it does prompt us to take a look at the year 1966, with the book "We Are Satanists" offering much insight into the foundation of the Church of Satan. We'll also hear Anton LaVey's later message to the scavengers and detractors of what he established ("Get a life!"), and the meaning of "the black flame". 00:00 - Intro 03:20 - On (not) joining the COS: valid reasons and invalid reasons 09:41 - More lame reasons we hear 12:28 - Anton LaVey: "Get a Life" essay 16:13 - Santecdote 20:48 - Will AI replace comedians? 23:11 - The Black Flame 27:47 - Excerpts from "We Are Satanists" (and misuse of "Anton") 30:15 - "Anton LaVey invented Satanism" 32:40 - All religion founders had their influences 34:21 - More from "We Are Satanists"

A look at Satanism and humanism, their similarities and more importantly their differences. Though to do that, we'll have to first unpack some bigger topics, such as what makes a religion a religion in the first place. Also, some listener mail about Satanists and social media, as well as Satanic baptisms. 00:00 - Intro 01:21 - The Satanic Bible: "Humanism is not a religion" 02:27 - Satanism is a religion. Non-theistic religions exist. Yes, really. 05:16 - Atheism is not a religion. Neither is monotheism. 06:18 - Dogma: Why the Boy Scouts is not a religion 08:32 - The Dogma of Satanism 10:44 - What do we mean by "Humanism" / Renaissance humanism 13:27 - Secular humanism 15:33 - Similarities: Atheism and Freethought 17:24 - How Satanism and secular humanism differ (myth of "The Greater God", etc.) 29:09 - Satanists on (or aren't on) social media 33:40 - Satanecdote: Spam from da Hood 35:35 - Getting a Satanic baptism 40:22 - Bill M. is Marq Torien?

Were the "Good ol' days" really all that "good"? We'll explore Anton LaVey's essay on the topic (spoiler: the answer is, "No!"), and a related college commencement speech from 2024 on the irrationality of claiming collective victim status, paying homage to George Carlin. 00:00 - Intro 00:58 - Satanism and how it relates to this topic 03:56 - "The Good Old Days" by Anton LaVey 20:10 - Satanicdote: Satanism lecture at an ESL class 23:20 - Introduction to the commencement speech 24:24 - "To the Class of 2024: You Are All Diseased"

The Balance Factor! Hear how this concept relates to the more broader concept of "magic" in Satanism, which of course means first addressing some misconceptions about Satanic magic itself. Also, answering some listener mail about the "LaVeyan Satanism" misnomer, a history-confused Wiccan, and other questions. 00:00 - Intro 00:56 - Rust's email 02:06 - What is "The Balance Factor"? Working definition from We Are Satanists. 04:18 - Recap: Satanism is a non-theistic religion and this isn't supernatural. RTFM. 09:50 - The Balance Factor, and greater magic for "that remaining push needed" 13:38 - The Satanic BIble on "The Balance Factor" 18:12 - Bill's "ribbon-cutting ceremony" analogy 26:48 - "My Wiccan girlfriend says you should call yourselves 'neo-Satanists'!" 32:00 - Why the term "LaVeyan Satanism" is a misnomer    

Addressing the misconceptions that the QAnon conspiracy theory is the "Satanic Panic 2.0" (it's not; let's keep that way), or that "the Satanic Panic never ended" (it did; let's keep it that way). Also, the difference between personalization and hypocritical self-deceit in the ritual chamber.

There is no "Satanic community". Learn what Satanists mean by this. Also, Bill answers some listener mail about artificial human companions, doctrines of superiority, and an anecdote about one Satanist's conspiracy theorist co-worker.  00:00 - Intro 00:52 - Multiple meanings of the word "community" 05:30 - Why there is no "Satanic Community" 15:50 - Excerpts from "Myth of the Satanic Community" 25:53 - Announcements 28:13 - Santanecdote 30:42 - Artificial Human Companions question 35:15 - Quote from The Devil's Notebook ("inferior man taught a doctrine of superiority")  

The 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth! While they're straightforward for most Satanists, Satansplain addresses common questions and misconceptions about things like "lairs", "mating signals", "destroying", "magic", and other details.

Church of Satan Reverend Dave Wallace steps in to interview the team behind the infamous Satanic memes page, "Dr. Vincent Schitz, PhD in Satanic Memes". Hear all about the history of the page, its past and present meme makers, their creative process, and answers to questions submitted by Dr. Schitz fans. Also, visit the new Satansplain store (store.satansplain.com) for Dr. Schitz merchandise!