Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

It's not uncommon for parents to have differences in what they prioritize and the ways they implement limits with their teenagers. It is essential however, that parents do all they can to overcome these differences and present a unified message to their teens. This is important not just for your marriage but for your effectiveness with your adolescents. When you as a parent have different limits from their other parent, teenagers don't "secretly realize" that you're the right parent, they just think both parents are nuts. Jessica and Dr. Ken discuss ways to overcome these differences and how to talk about them effectively with your spouse. We also cover the difficult task of dealing with an ex-spouse who has greatly different expectations as well. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Today we continue with our series on effective limit-setting with adolescents. Some parents think when they lose their temper with teenagers they "hate to do it" but it "needed to happen." Jessica and Dr. Ken talk about how yelling only confirms a teenager's suspicion in the first place... that you're a bully not really a parent. Instead we talk about ways to avoid losing your temper and what to do if you still occasionally get pretty angry with your teenager. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Today we continue with issues related to limit-setting with teenagers. As tempting as it is, making speeches is very ineffective in influencing adolescent behavior. Teenagers need to experience the consequences of their choices, either natural or through parent consequences. Jessica and Dr. Ken talk about both of their own struggles to avoid this trap and the situations that tempt parents to pontificate instead of act. We offer suggestions to increase your adolescent's learning experiences while reserving words for the most useful opportunities. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Today is the first in a series on limit-setting with adolescents. Probably the most important change a parent can make in being more effective in setting limits with teenagers is to shift your job description from a "cop" to a judge. Understanding what you as a parent can and cannot control makes a huge difference in how and when you set limits for your teen. When your teen is being most defiant, always remember the power of "the smile." You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

This week we continue our review and clarifying the process known as "Planned Emancipation." Last week we talked about the "Freedoms List" and this week we take on a completely different list; the "Expectations and Consequences List." We review the purpose of having this list (i.e. to reduce conflict at home, the strengthen your effectiveness) as well as the critical factors in implementing this list. We review many questions like "what do I do when my teen is constantly late in the mornings before school?" "How can I get her to do her chores around the house?" as well as issues of cursing, school grades, curfew and much more. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Many of the questions that listeners send us ask for more details on the "Freedoms List" and the "Expectations and Consequences" list. How are they different? Can't we just put both of these on one, big list? Today we take on part one of these questions and clarify what the freedoms list is for and why it's different from the expectations and consequences list (which we'll talk about next week). We answer many other questions like, should you present these 2 lists at the same time? Are there other ways to grant freedoms other than putting them on a list? We discuss these and other questions on this first of a two part discussion. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Does your teenager have a job? Should you make them get one? When? How? Today we talk about the challenges and importance of adolescent job experiences. How should parents balance adolescent work over the summer with important family vacation time? Should a college kid "follow their heart" or get a marketable degree? Today we discuss all things job related including Jessica and Dr. Ken's work history as adolescents (SPOILER: Dr. Ken got fired... sorta). You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Today we take on the issue of teenagers' relationship with death. Do they think much about it? Why are some teens so focused on death in movies, games etc.? What's the deal with zombies? Jessica and Dr. Ken advise best ways to talk about the subject of death and the need to talk about and not run away from such an important subject, especially Christian parents. In this episode we reference the Netflix documentary "Don't Die" We also reference L.S. Dugdale MDs book "The Lost Art of Dying" https://a.co/d/e5vhDAq You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Today we talk about the sensitivity teenagers feel about their bodies and how to help them deal with struggles that arise around their physical development. Turns out, teenagers have control over how easily shamed they feel when facing criticism. We talk about ways to increase your teen's resilience to shame. When should parents step in to talk to school or other authorities to support their teenager who's struggling with being bullied? We also focus on the importance of encouraging adolescents to be supportive of their friends and siblings. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

With recent political events, parents sometimes wonder how best to talk with adolescents about these issues. Jessica and Dr. Ken review the most effective ways to encourage teenagers to think and talk about political hot button issues. We also explore the odd situation of kids who are more conservative than their own parents. Guess who's kids we're talking about! You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/