You Hate Movies

We are, once again, taking critics to task over their collective disdain for Neil Blomkamp’s third film, Chappie. Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, Tyler Hanns. Major Spoilers: District 9, Elysium, Chappie. Minor/Abstract Spoilers: Panic Room, Mad Max: Fury Road, All Is Lost, Phone booth, Buried, The Hills Have Eyes, Short Circuit (1 & 2), Interstellar, it Follows, Dredd, Bicentennial Man, and The A-Team.

We’re pitting one of film history’s all-time classics—the Stephen Spielberg masterpiece, E.T.—against the J.J. Abram's 2001 film clearly inspired by it, Super 8.   Featuring: Josiah DePaoli, Garrett Holmes, Matt Hughes, Mike Jensen, Peter Nikiforov, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns. Major spoilers for E.T. and Super 8, as well as minor/abstract spoilers for: Psycho, Interstellar, Mac & Me, Peanuts, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Muppet Movie, Mad Max: Fury Road, Wall-E, Star Wars Episode I, Independence Day, Austin Powers, Cloverfield, White Fang, Harry and the Hendersons, The Iron Giant, Goonies, Indiana Jones, and Thomas the Tank Engine (again).

In today’s episode we’re presenting 20 different summer movie blockbusters to a panel of our hosts, two at a time, and forcing them to decide which one they would save if it meant killing the other. Featuring: Bethany Allen, Mike Jensen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns. Rather than ruin the fun of these painful decisions, we’ll warn you that each time two choices are presented, it stands to reason that spoilers for those movies will follow. You will have a brief window to abandon ship if you fear the details that might arise after each save or kill option is introduced. Additionally, there will be some minor or abstract spoilers for the Robocop and Total Recall remakes, the National Treasure franchise, and The Good Son.

We accuse critics and audiences alike of hating movies, for they did not fathom the greatness that is Zack Snyder's adaptation of Watchmen.  Featuring: Abi Porter, Alex Rettmann, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Sarah Hanns, and Tyler Hanns. Major spoilers for the graphic novel Watchmen and its subsequent film adaptation. Minor/abstract spoilers for: 300, 300: Rise of an Empire, the Simpsons episode "Husbands and Knives," Fight Club, Suckerpunch, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, Saw, Frozen, Birdman, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, and Grey's Anatomy seasons 2, 3 and 5.

Today we argue about which is the better obscure Phase 2 Marvel movie, Ant-Man or Guardians of the Galaxy.  Featuring: Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns. Featuring major spoilers for all movies in the Marvel cinematic universe, as well as minor/abstract spoilers for: Pumping Iron, Saturday Night Live hosted by Chris Pratt, Interstellar, Chappie, Back to the Future, the Batman v. Superman trailer, Thomas the Tank Engine, Jurassic World, Star Wars Episode IV, Rocky, Honey I Blew Up the Kid, Inception, The Big Lebowski, and a McDonald's commercial.

This episode we pose a pressing question: Which movie evokes more summertime nostalgia, The Sandlot or Stand By Me?  Featuring: Garrett Holmes, Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.  Spoilers in this episode: The Sandlot and Stand By Me, as well as minor/abstract spoilers for The Goofy Movie, Forrest Gump, Hook, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, Star Wars Episode IV, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Beethoven, Home Alone 1 & 2, Return of the Jedi, Friday the 13th 4, 5, and 6. The Sandlot 2 and 3. I'm Still Here, Bubble Boy, the King's Speech, King Ralph, and Thomas the Tank Engine.

Today we conclude our five-part miniseries, as we finally see and react to Terminator Genisys.  Featuring: Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.  Spoilers in this episode: All Terminator films, as well as minor/abstract spoilers for Star Wars, Rocky Balboa, Tron Legacy, Short Circuit, and Bicentennial Man.

As we near the conclusion of our special miniseries—Road to Terminator Genisys—we're taking a look at the often-disliked 4th installment, Terminator Salvation.  Featuring: Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.  Spoilers in this episode: All Terminator films, as well as minor/abstract spoilers for World War Z, Lonesome Dove, Back to the Future, Star Wars: Episode IV, The Shawshank Redemption, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Mars Attacks.

This 4th of July, we're electing the best film president. Is it Independence Day's Bill Pullman, or Air Force One's Harrison Ford?  Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.  Spoilers in this episode: (major) Independence Day, Air Force One, (minor) Deep Impact, 2012, Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Jurassic Park 3, Lost, Seinfeld, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Mad Max: Fury Road, Watchmen, War of the Worlds, Mars Attacks, Star Wars: A New Hope, The Dark Knight Rises, and the hit sitcom Full House.

In the 3rd installment of our four-part miniseries—Road to Terminator Genisys—the franchise takes a significant plunge with Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.  Featuring: Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.  Spoilers in this episode: All Terminator films