You Hate Movies

In this episode, join us in the You Hate Movies Thunderdome, as we pit beloved movie characters, one-by-one, in in a brutal, all-out battle to the death. Today’s Thunderdome: Movie Robots. Could Ultron defeat a Terminator T-800? Could Interstellar’s TARS destroy Big Hero 6’s Baymax? Root for your favorite robots in the Thunderdome! Featuring: Patrick Porter, Peter Rollo, and Josh Porter Spoilers: Short Circuit 1 & 2, the Terminator franchise, The Matrix, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Wall-E, Batteries Not Included, Aliens, the Star Wars saga, Ex Machine, The Stepford Wives, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Robocop, Real Steel, the Transformers franchise, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, The Iron Giant, Pacific Rim, Chappie, Prometheus, A.I., Total Recall, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, Interstellar, Big Hero 6, and The Muppets.

Maestro of dialogue and profanity, master of emotion and splatter, exploitation aficionado and b-movie film geek auteur: Today we rank the films of Quentin Tarantino. Before that, we’ll talk about the alleged 70mm film revival and whether or not it matters. Featuring: Liam Gonnason, Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns. Spoilers: Every film in Quentin Tarantino’s filmography, The Master, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Clerks, District 9, Cocoon, Seven, Planet Terror, Star Wars: Episode IV, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), 3 Ninjas, and Surf Ninjas.

We pit beloved film geek director Quentin Tarantino’s 2012 blood-soaked, racially charged Western Django Unchained against Quentin Tarantino’s 2015 blood-soaked, racially charged Western The Hateful Eight. We’ll wrestle with the question, “What the heck is 70mm film, and why should we care?” Featuring: Liam Gonnason, Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns. Spoilers: Django Unchained, The Hateful Eight, Moonrise Kingdom, Evil Dead, Reservoir Dogs, The Polar Express, Forrest Gump, Jurassic Park, Snakes on a Plane, Funny Games, High Plains Drifter, After Earth, Inglourious Basterds, Kill Bill, 21 Jump Street, 22 Jump Street, and Magic Mike.

Welcome to 2016 and the 40th episode of You Hate Movies. We’ve tasked a panel of five hosts to draft a list of their definitive top 10 movies of 2015, then sit down and argue about them. Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns. Spoilers: Minor and abstract spoilers for dozens of movies released in 2015, as well as Interstellar, Halloween: Resurrection, the Captain America: Civil War trailer, Capatain America: The Winter Soldier, Prometheus, the Rambo 3 and 4, Avatar, Watchmen, Monster, The Matrix, Short Circuit 2, The Running Man, the Rocky franchise, Babe: Pig in the City, and The Guy With the Face.

Today our 7 part series comes to a climactic close with Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. Can a movie staggering beneath the pressure of fan expectations possibly live up the hype? Where does it rank amongst the complete saga? Did going Star Wars Pure enhance our viewing experience? Was Bethany a knucklehead at the theater? It’s time to let the truth be known. Featuring: Abi Porter, Alex Rettmann, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Sarah Hanns, and Tyler Hanns. Spoilers: Massive and complete spoilers for The Force Awakens loom throughout this entire episode. If you haven’t seen the movie yet and you listen to this episode, you hate movies. You’ll also get spoilers for the other six Star Wars films as well as Godzilla 2014, You’ve Got Mail, Frozen, Frank, Prometheus, While We’re Still Young, the TV show Girls, the Disney direct-to-video Tinker Bell films, Pride and Prejudice, About Time, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Bewitched, the Hunger Games series, Home Alone, It Follows, and Jurassic World.

Our journey through all six films in the Star Wars saga comes to a close with episode 6, Return of the Jedi. Are there too many puppets? Do the Ewoks meet Bethany’s very high expectations? Does R2 bebop, or beat-box? Only we have the answers! Featuring: Bethany Allen, Liam Gonnason, Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Tyler Hanns.  Spoilers: Star Wars 1 - 6, The Lord of the Rings, The Godfather, Rocky, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, Gremlins, Swiss Family Robinson, Watchmen, Elf, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Alice in Wonderland, The Human Centipede, Inspector Gadget, Godzilla, Junior, Teddy Ruxpin, Season 3 Episode 1 of Friends, and the hit Shania Twain song, “Man! I Feel Like a Woman.”

Journey to the Dagobah System as we experience the beloved sequel to the original Star Wars film, The Empire Strikes Back  with some familiar fans and folks experiencing Episode V for the first time! Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Matt Comer, Josh Porter, and Tyler Hanns.    Spoilers: The entire Star Wars saga, Rocky IV, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Indiana Jones, Jurassic World, Harry Potter, Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, and the Willow Smith song “Whip My Hair.”

Return to 1977 as we debrief the original theatrical release of the first film in the Star Wars saga with a few guests seeing it for the first time. Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Derrick Cisneros, Josh Porter, Matt Hughes, Patrick Porter, Tyler Hanns.  Spoilers: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Men in Black, Legend, Love Actually, Ant-Man, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Despicable Me, Dr. Strangelove, and the Johnny Cash song “One Piece at a Time.”

Today we leave the dark side of the force by completing the final installment in the Star Wars prequel saga, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. The best the prequel trilogy has to offer, but how much is that saying, really? Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Matthew Comer, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns. Spoilers: Star Wars 1-6, Lord of the Rings, and Children of Men.

As we continue our journey to Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, we have to trudge our way through two more prequels. This week’s unappetizing dish is Episode II, Attack of the Clones.   Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, and Tyler Hanns. Spoilers: Star Wars, episodes 1 - 6, Gladiator, Alien, E.T., The Fifth Element, Rush Hour, The Dark Knight, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Men in Black, and Project Runway.