Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

I still don't know his last name.Gille arrived from Michigan in a small jar with his photograph on the lid. His friend had sent an email to Chapel Dulcinea asking if we'd be willing to launch some of Gille's ashes into the breeze that always blows there.We replied we'd be happy to do it.It seems that Gille's parting wish was for his ashes to be scattered at beautiful and interesting places around the world and Chapel Dulcinea was selected as one of those places. So at sunset on December 13, 2006, Tom Grimes, Brett Feinstein and I became the awkward honor guard that entrusted Gille to the winds from the western pinnacle of Dulcinea's diamond foundation.Feinstein rang the big bronze bell as Gille floated northward into forever.How are things with you? Are you ready to begin a new year?This is the time when millions of us pause to look back with regret and forward with hope. As you prepare for 2007, here are some thoughts I hope you'll ponder:It's Always Okay To Begin Again“The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.” – G.K. ChestertonPay Attention to the Little Things“It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.” – Terry Pratchett“No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.” – Agnes De MilleKnow What You Want“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.” – Mark TwainDon't Think You Know It All“The more we live by our intellect, the less we understand the meaning of life.” – Leo Tolstoy“And he goes through life, his mouth open, and his mind closed.” – Oscar WildeDon't Be A Couch Potato“Literacy is a very hard skill to acquire, and once acquired it brings endless heartache – for the more you read, the more you learn of life's intimidating complexity of confusion. But anyone who can learn to grunt is bright enough to watch TV… which teaches that life is simple, and happy endings come to those whose hearts are in the right place.” – Spider Robinson“If I show up at your house 10 years from now, and find nothing in your living room but Reader's Digests, nothing in your bedroom but the latest Dan Brown novel… I will chase you down to the end of your driveway and back shouting 'Where are the damn books?… Why are you living the mental equivalent of a Kraft Macaroni & Cheese life?'” – Stephen King, to the 2005 graduating class of the University of MaineYou're Going To Have Some Bad Days“Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” – Annette Funicello“Life is like a train. It's bearing down on you and guess what? It's going to hit you. So you can either start running when it's far off in the distance, or you can pull up a chair, crack open a beer, and just watch it come.” – Eric Forman, on That 70s Show“My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.” – MontaigneHave Courage“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” – Helen Keller“Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life.” – Patty HansenLove Your Job“Work is about a search for daily meaning as well as daily bread, for recognition as well as cash, for astonishment rather than torpor; in short, for a sort of life rather than a Monday through Friday sort of dying.” – Studs TerkelDon't Forget to Have Fun“Do not take life too seriously – you will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard“Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it…. I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.” – Jerry Seinfeld“Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.” – Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker“Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.” – Grace HansenRemember the People Who Are Important to You“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.” – George Sand“When you grow up, you have to give yourself away. Sometimes you give your life all in a moment, but mostly you have to give yourself away laboring one minute at a time.” – Gaborn Val Orden“I was fourteen years old the night my daddy died. He had holes in his shoes and a vision that he was able to convey to me even lying in an ambulance, dying, that I as a black girl could do and be anything, that race and gender are shadows, and that character, determination, attitude are the substances of life.” – Marian Wright EdelmanToday Is The First Day of The Rest of Your Life“Life is a journey, and with every step we reach a point of no return.” – Gaborn Val Orden“Many adventures await you upon the road of life. Enter these doors, and take your first step…” – from a placard above The Horn and Hound PubHappy New Year,Roy H. Williams

When Too Bigwedges into a head too small,When Too Hardcrowds into a life too soft,When Too Muchhas happened to make sense of it all,I am Sleep.Let me do my work.– Roy H. WilliamsHave you ever been confronted with an idea Too Big, a circumstance Too Hard, or a series of events Too Much?Thank God for the right hemisphere of your brain.You spend about a third of your life asleep because your 5 senses gather data faster than it can be processed. And the half of your brain responsible for fitting these new puzzle pieces into place works best when the other half is asleep.The left brain – logical, sequential, deductive reasoning – gathers information then goes to sleep. But the right brain – data integration and pattern recognition – doesn't sleep but works all night, connecting the dots, seeing the pattern and its possibilities.Intuiting.During the night the right brain takes a step back, puts things in perspective and gives you insight. This is why the wise say, “Let me sleep on it,” and why things always look better in the morning.The left brain demands science and data and facts and justice. The right brain seeks relationships and mercy and meaning and God. This is why you are torn between two opinions. Your left brain or “head” tells you one thing while your right brain or “heart” whispers another.The left brain is about vertical hierarchy, up and down. Dominate.The right brain is about horizontal relationship, near and far. Communicate.Most American men live in the left, worshiping at the alters of technology and sports, sneering at softness, mocking mercy, ridiculing the right. Strictly speaking, men, reading the sports page and the stock market report takes only half a brain.What are you doing with the other half?When a woman says “romance,” she means “right brain stuff.” She's talking about feelings and impressions and reactions that can't be proven and are neither right nor wrong, but are simply “yours.”You have feelings and impressions and reactions, guys. I know you do.How does the music make you feel? How about the painting, the play, the photograph, the book? Tell her. Let her remember why she married you.In just 10 more days Princess Pennie and I will celebrate 30 extraordinary years together. We are extremely married. You should be, too.If today's memo annoyed you a little, will you please let me make one final suggestion?Sleep on it.Roy H. Williams

I've created ads for local businesses from coast to coast for nearly a quarter century and I've studied the population of every place for which I've written ads; more than 100 towns in all. And I've presented seminars in an additional 92. That's a lot of travel.And I've noticed that cities have personalities.Humor can be different, for one thing. The video clip that causes an explosion of laughter in one city may trigger only the slightest giggle in the next. And women wear their makeup differently. The appreciation of art will be narrow in one city and broad in another. And religion can run shallow or deep. The work ethic is different here than there, and risk orientation with it.If you will write ads for a local business, you must first feel the pulse of the place; measure its inhibitions and embrace the rules of its morality.America is young, barely 4 human life-spans. This is why you should always begin your uncovery by asking:1. Why is this city here?2. Who founded it?3. What attracted its original population?As newcomers get involved in a community, they're affected by the town's local culture and begin subtly sliding toward the local norm. Outsiders thus become insiders.Learn the origins of a town and you'll have found a thread that will tie all your other observations together and make your ads much stronger.A town built on a discovery of gold or oil will often continue to have a “get-rich-quick” mentality to this day. Multilevel marketing will be strong there and con men will rock and roll because these cities are optimistic and have an uncanny ability to believe. Such towns are havens for entrepreneurs of every description. Silicon Valley (Sutter's Mill was there,) Denver, Tulsa…A town that originated as a military fort will usually have more grit and testosterone than neighboring cities. Compare Fort Worth to its neighbor, Dallas: Fort Worth began as a military post in 1849. Dallas began as a trading post in 1840. Today Fort Worth is known for its stockyards, aerospace, and Texas Motor Speedway. Dallas is known for Neiman-Marcus and Mary Kay.Likewise, St. Paul originated in 1819 as Fort Snelling and remains the seat of Minnesota government. Neighboring Minneapolis began as a trading post and remains a hub of commerce to this day. Ever heard of the Mall of America?An enthusiastic pair of New York real estate promoters founded Houston, Texas. The hyped-up boys assured investors it would become “a great center of government and commerce,” and then delivered what they promised.Happy Discovery, Militarism, and Energetic Commerce are just 3 of the 32 signals a city can send you to help you write more powerfully to its people.If you would be a journalist or a marketing professional, you must press your ear to the chest of your city, hear its heartbeat and smell its breath. Carl Sandburg did, 42 years before I was born:CHICAGOHOG Butcher for the World,Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;Stormy, husky, brawling,City of the Big Shoulders:They tell me you are wicked and I believe them, for I have seen your painted women under the gas lamps luring the farm boys.And they tell me you are crooked and I answer: Yes, it is true I have seen the gunman kill and go free to kill again.And they tell me you are brutal and my reply is: On the faces of women and children I have seen the marks of wanton hunger.And having answered so I turn once more to those who sneer at this my city, and I give them back the sneer and say to them:Come and show me another city with lifted head singing so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning.Flinging magnetic curses amid the toil of piling job on job, here is a tall bold slugger set vivid against the little soft cities;Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning as a savage pitted against the wilderness,Bareheaded,Shoveling,Wrecking,Planning,Building, breaking, rebuilding,Under the smoke, dust all over his mouth, laughing with white teeth,Under the terrible burden of destiny laughing as a young man laughs,Laughing even as an ignorant fighter laughs who has never lost a battle,Bragging and laughing that under his wrist is the pulse, and under his ribs the heart of the people,Laughing!Laughing the stormy, husky, brawling laughter of Youth, half-naked, sweating, proud to be the Hog Butcher, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,Player with Railroads and Freight Handler to the Nation.Do you understand your city the way Sandburg understood his?If you do, you're well on your way to having a fabulous 2007.Good luck.Roy H. Williams

Happiness rarely triggers commerce. Unhappiness often does.Purchases are triggered by dissatisfaction with the way things are. We purchase when we have a need, a desire, an itch to scratch. We want to change our condition, our surroundings, our state of mind. We buy because we are dissatisfied.And this dissatisfaction is often created by the advertising that offers to remedy it.In his 1957 essay, American Advertising, Marshall McLuhan describes a letter written by an American army officer stationed in Italy after World War II. The officer “noted with misgiving that Italians could tell you the names of cabinet ministers but not the names of commodities preferred by Italian celebrities. Furthermore, the wall space of Italian cities was given over to political rather than commercial slogans. Finally, he predicted that there was small hope that Italians would ever achieve any sort of domestic prosperity or calm until they began to worry about the rival claims of cornflakes or cigarettes rather than the capacities of public men. In fact, he went so far as to say that democratic freedom very largely consists in ignoring politics and worrying about the means of defeating underarm odor, scaly scalp, hairy legs, dull complexion, unruly hair, borderline anemia, athlete's foot, and sluggish bowels.”This crass, commercial outlook described by McLuhan escalated to its zenith in the early 80's, then began to slowly subside.Today's purchases remain an expression of self, but they aren't always selfish. Our favorite brands are usually an extension of our values, a physical expression of our beliefs. This is why millions of us pay slightly higher prices for Fair Trade coffee. It tastes exactly like the coffee sold by heartless corporations, but Fair Trade coffee makes us feel differently.Those who have heard my presentation on Society's Pendulum will remember that 2006 was the 4th year of a new Civic cycle in which we're drawn toward others who believe as we do.“Every brand must have an identity and the most effective identities are those that take on the trappings of social justice: The Body Shop owns compassion, Nike spirituality, Pepsi and MTV youthful rebellion.” – Thomas Frank, (1997)“The great brands have succeeded in conveying their vision by questioning certain conventions, whether it's Apple's humanist vision, which reverses the relationship between people and machines; Benetton's libertarian vision, which overthrows communication conventions; Microsoft's progressive vision, which topples bureaucratic barriers; or Virgin's anti-conformist vision, which rebels against the powers that be.” – Jean-Marie DruYou buy what you buy because you want to scratch an itch. You are dissatisfied in some unspoken way.To increase your sales volume, you must identify the dissatisfaction that lurks in the heart of your customer.And then you must shine your flashlight of words into that darkness.How bright is your language-beacon?Roy H. Williams

Suffice it to say that last week's memo had precisely the effect I had anticipated.We'll speak no more about it.I will not dissect my own writing like a formaldehyde frog in the dim light of your monitor. But I will, for your benefit, gently press my scalpel into a paragraph written by England's brilliant Roy Clarke:“The thing about growing up is that you get fewer scabs on your knees, but more internal injuries. Do you remember the day when that little yellowhammer flew straight at the window? You picked it up. It had a drop of blood on its beak. Identical color to ours. Just one drop, like a bright bead. And then there were all those brightly plumed kids who left school, flying cheerfully and didn't get far. Ran smack into World War II. Little Tommy Naylor lying in Africa somewhere, blood on his beak. Identical color to ours.”– monologue of Peter Sallis as Norman Clegg, Last of the Summer Wine; Getting Sam Home, (1983) written by Roy ClarkeWe're not told the yellowhammer collided with the window. Neither do we read the words “dead” or “death.” Yet we know the little bird hit the window and died because of the line, “You picked it up.”We come to this conclusion on our own. This technique of “revelation by inference” pulls us into the narrative by making us fill in its blanks.Next the author shares a memory, a vividly phrased mental image: “Just one drop, like a bright bead.”The yellow cone of a bird's beak adorned with a glistening sphere of red is a sadly beautiful combination of color and shape. But we, as readers, continue to hang on to the opening statement about “growing up.” We await closure of that thought.Clarke moves us from birds to persons – and childhood to adulthood – through the metaphorical phrase “brightly plumed kids… flying cheerfully.”And then he closes the circle:“Little Tommy Naylor lying in Africa somewhere, blood on his beak.”Clarke has taken us from the scraped knees of childhood to a dead Tommy Naylor in the space of just a few seconds, our minds filling in the blanks along the way. Little Tommy never did grow old. He was one of us.“Identical color to ours.”And his death could have been our own.Read the passage again and witness the brilliant restraint. Roy Clarke flashes just a few slides onto the movie screen of our mind and we fill the gaps between them. We conclude:(1.) A yellowhammer is a bird.(2.) It hit the window and died.(3.) Tommy Naylor was a schoolmate.(4.) Tommy grew up and went to war.(5.) Tommy died in Africa in WWIIBut none of this is told to us directly. Yet we know it just as surely as if it had been.I am boring and pedantic when I say too much.I am mysterious and deep when I say too little.To hold the attention of intelligent people you must require them to fill in the blanks in your narrative. Here's another good example:“There were ripe blackberries in the hedgerows and, as the shadows lengthened, fox cubs skittering at the edge of the fields. A few miles on and the evening had almost shaded to night, but he could smell the sea now and he imagined that he could hear it, sucking and surging on the Dorset shingle. This was the ghost time of day when the souls of the dead flickered at the edges of men's sight and when good folk hurried home to their fire and to their thatch and to their bolted doors. A dog howled in one of the villages.”– Bernard Cornwell, Vagabond, p.164Have you ever known someone who took too long to say too little?Have you ever been someone who took too long to say too little?Yes, I am feeling literary. It happens to me in the fall. I hope you don't mind.Ciao for Niao,Roy H. Williams

Standing at your bedside, I don’t know if you’re dead or only sleeping.Soon our friends will lay pennies on your eyes to pay Charon for your passage. A silly ritual, our friends will do it anyway.But you were dead long before you died.Something caused life to shrivel in you, bloodless and pale, until you began to smell of despair. Did fear of failure run so deep in you?I was troubled by your passivity. I did not understand it. You refused encouragement. You sneered at good advice. You drank self-pity until it pickled your soul.Did you never realize that He who gently made the lamb made the tiger also? Who strangled the tiger in you? Was it faulty religion? An overbearing parent? Wounded pride?The tiger who fails is still a tiger. We do not laugh at it. A tiger is spectacular.You understood the Jesus who turned water into wine at the wedding feast to save the young couple from embarrassment. You believed in that Jesus, the one who was kind and anonymously generous. But you never quite believed in the Jesus who braided a whip to drive the businessmen from the temple, who flung aside the tables of the moneychangers and scattered their cash and stampeded all their livestock.Was there human blood on the whip when he was done do you think? Or did he just wave the whip over his head like a baton twirler in a halftime show and request that all the nasty, bad men please leave the premises immediately?Jesus wasn’t Gandhi. Jesus said that when someone jolted your jaw, the right thing to do was look them calmly in the eye and stick out your chin to give them a clean swing at the other side. This is how a tiger says, “Is that your best shot? You want another swing? Here, let me make this easy for you.”Turning the other cheek isn’t submissive. It’s defiant.But you were never into defiance. You were more into whining.I wish I could say I will miss you. But in truth, I’ve been missing you since the day your tiger died.Roy H. Williams

Your prospective customer has questions about you. Where's the first place they're likely to look for answers?Sadly, your wonderful “Big enough to serve you, small enough to know you” public image probably isn't going to be enough to walk that customer out to their car and drive them to your store so they can ask your friendly and knowledgeable staff.They'll probably just walk to the nearest computer and invest a few keystrokes, don't you think? And if your website doesn't deliver answers, they'll find them:1. on someone else's website, or2. a discussion string where you risk being reduced to what a detractor said about you, or3. they'll fill in the blanks using information gathered from the shadows of their own suspicious mind.Think like your customer for a moment: A company's website is silent on a subject. Why might this be? “At best, they're out of touch and behind the times. At worst, they have something to hide.”How many people do you suppose are looking for answers online?Clear Channel Communications, the world's largest mass-media company (with 1,100 radio stations and 870,000 billboards) is currently courting suitors for a possible takeover. Google, an internet search-engine company launched in 1998 by two college kids, is on the short list of possible buyers. Clear Channel's market value is currently 17 billion dollars. Google's market value is currently 145 billion dollars.So let me ask you again: How many people do you suppose are looking for answers online?Does your website provide these answers?In 2007, your website will need to deliver: Information. Clarity. Truth.Your website should be a window into the soul of your company:1. Anticipate your customer's question.This is why you must embrace persona-based writing.2. Answer the question transparently.Statements that don't ring true will score against you.3. Make the answer easy to find.This is a function of website architecture.Does it surprise you to learn that most website programmers think exactly backwards from how customers think? An organizational hierarchy that's perfectly logical in the mind of a programmer is often frustratingly illogical in the mind of a customer.Your website architecture dictates your customer's experience. Architecture has nothing to do with graphics. Did your website have an architect? Or was it designed by the programmer? By the graphic artist? By you?A programmer asks, “Does it function?”A graphic designer asks, “Does it 'feel right' and represent us well?”An owner asks, “Does it say what I want it to say?”An architect asks, “Did the customer find their answer?”Mass media says, “Create traffic first. Answer their questions after they arrive.”Search engines say, “Create answers first. Store traffic will be created by the answers you provide.”Your website should be a relationship deepener. Having already interacted with your expert, open-all-night website, customers will walk into your store the next day already sold. We're seeing it constantly.Are you?CONFESSION: Most of what I've shared with you today was gleaned from my daily chats with the Eisenberg brothers. A few minutes with these guys saves me a lot of time and money.You may recall that earlier this year Jeff and Bryan's newest book exploded onto all four bestseller lists: New York Times, Wall Street Journal, BusinessWeek and USA Today. These brothers consult many of the largest and most successful companies on earth.Would you like to experience 3 days worth of face-to-face training with them? Jeff and Bryan are donating 3 days to help build everyone's business who helped build Engelbrecht House with a donation of at least $1,000.Why are they doing this? Because we believed in them 6 years ago when they launched their company from the basement of their parents' home. The world-famous Eisenbergs are first-year AcadGrads who remember the old days when they were struggling and we were there for them.With their help, you can look back on 2006 as the old days when you were struggling and they were there for you.The door is closing soon. Jeff and Bryan and I would love for you to be here at the Academy Nov 29 – Dec 1.You coming?Roy H. Williams

“Savannah's squares may be public, but they feel private. Their massive, gnarled oaks – dripping with Spanish moss – create an insular mood, not to mention a deep shade… So lazy and calming are these ancient parcels that they act as a narcotic. The temptation is to lose yourself in reverie, to slip irretrievably into a gossamer world of indifference and fantasy.” – Jolee Edmondson, writing of her hometown in Sky magazineDid I think the idea would make money? No.Did I believe it would change the world? No.Was it part of a popular trend? No.When I asked 2 rare musicians to spend a year together, it was because I knew their music needed to exist. Do you sometimes wake up in the morning and know exactly what you're supposed to do? This was one of those days. “Put Mark Huffman and Phil Sheeran into a studio together and listen to what wafts out.”Huffman's mournful, alto flute calls deep to the shadows beneath the trees when the air is warm and there is no breeze; a dark chocolate tunnel exhaling rich, medieval tunes to slow the pulse and quiet the mind, lowering you ever deeper into the narcotic embrace of Savannah's moss-laden giants on a sultry, summer afternoon.Conversely, Phil Sheeran is a Latin Jazz guitarist who makes his strings sing crystal; sharp notes tripping brightly on tiptoes, glittering in the sunlight, twinkling and sparkling like ice along a blade.I'd heard them separately. Now I wanted to hear them together. It would be like watching an episode of Mister Rogers Neighborhood with a zigzagging Zorro slicing the air into confetti about him.That music needed to exist. And now it does.Is there something you believe needs to exist?Don't let yourself talk yourself out of it. Take the time. Steal it from things that are merely urgent. If you wait for “a better time” you'll never do it. Whatever small, symbolic start you can make this instant, make it. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Take that first step.Mark the flutist, Phil the guitarist, Dave the audio tech and Sean the graphics guy are happy they stole the time from their too-busy schedules to bring DeepFlute Dulcinea into existence.Like them, you'll probably have to steal the time from other projects that scream in your face how they're far more urgent and much more important. It's tempting to agree with those shrill voices and say, “I really can't afford to chase a silly rabbit through the forest right now. I'll do it later. Just not right now.”Are you willing to make an irrational commitment? Are you willing to Free the Beagle?Arooo! Aroo-Aroooo!The rabbit is disappearing into the green.You will now run toward the forest, or run away from it.Which will it be?Roy H. Williams

Irrational commitment is a powerful thing. It is the stuff of heroes. Legends live because of it.And like anything powerful, it can be turned toward darkness.But let us look toward the light.Francis Bacon (1561-1626) made a fascinating observation during the days of Cervantes (1547-1616): Philosophy is based on reason and is, therefore, rational. Faith is based on revelation and is, therefore, irrational. Consequently, the greater the impossibility of the thing you believe, the greater the honor to God.Faith is an irrational commitment of the heart, the pattern-recognizing right brain, not the deductive-reasoning left.In Cervantes’ book Don Quixote de la Mancha, our hero makes an irrational commitment to a common village girl who doesn’t even know he exists. To the rest of us, there’s nothing special about Aldonza Lorenzo. But in the mind of Quixote she embodies everything that is good and right and true. He sees in her a princess and calls her his lady Dulcinea.Quixote’s irrational commitment to Dulcinea gives him vision and focus and purpose.Do you make your commitments in your rational mind, or in your irrational heart?Quixote makes himself a fool for Dulcinea, and in her name accomplishes many impossible things.Doing the impossible is easy when you’re utterly committed and have pushed aside your logical mind.Here’s an example of an irrational commitment made by 56 men, 230 years ago:“And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.”Lady Liberty was their Dulcinea.Here’s another irrational commitment:“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America…”America is a Lady, not a place. And many have given their lives for her honor.But here, I believe, is the best irrational commitment of them all:“…for better, for worse,for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health,to love and to cherish,till death us do part.”In case I haven’t made it clear: I am in favor of irrational commitment. “It is not good… to be alone.”On June 7, 1947, Paul Compton made an irrational commitment to Jean Johnson and in later years he would be called to deliver on his promise: Alzheimer’s disease stole Jean from Paul, but left her frail body in his care. Strengthened only by the memory of their years together, Paul faced the never-ending job of caring for her empty shell 24 hours a day. And he did it without complaint for 20 long years.I’ve never known a better man.Paul and Jean had 4 daughters, all of whom work shoulder-to-shoulder with their husbands and have done so for more than 30 years. Miraculously, each of the girls is still married to her first husband, though none of those husbands is a prize. Trust me, I know them all. I’m the 18 year-old boy with no money and no future who married the youngest daughter.If you would taste truth and beauty and grace, you must reach for the fruit of a tree planted deep in the soil of irrational commitment.I wish you good fortune on your journey.Roy H. Williams

Sigh… We get asked that question a lot.No, we don't have anything to do with witches, warlocks, séances, Harry Potter or Halloween. We're simply a school of the communication arts.Our mission is to improve the creative thinking and communication skills of educators, ministers, authors, inventors, journalists, business owners, architects, artists and musicians. Not surprisingly, a lot of salespeople, public relations professionals, internet consultants and ad writers are attracted to our school as well.Any student of language will tell you that “wizard” simply means “wise man.” A person who cowers is a coward. A person always drunk is a drunkard. A person who is dull is a dullard. A person who is wise is a wisard.Since the “s” is pronounced as a “z,” it came to be spelled with a “z.”Any person who gathers and catalogs information so that he or she might be able to give good advice at critical times is a wise-ard, or wizard. The insights they provide might seem like magic, but they're merely the result of careful investigation fueled by curiosity.Arthur C. Clarke describes the function of wizards in his famous Three Laws of Technology:“1. When a scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.3. Any sufficiently developed technology is indistinguishable from magic.”At Wizard Academy we push the boundaries of what is known. From these efforts emerge insight, knowledge and new technologies. It only seems like magic.Sadly, the translators of the 1611 King James Bible opted to use the word “wizard” throughout the Old Testament to describe persons who speak to demons or the dead. Please know that we neither practice nor teach these things at Wizard Academy.Now before you get all holier-than-thou and say something silly like, “If the King James Bible was good enough for the apostle Paul, it's good enough for me,” remember: these same King James translators used the word “spirit” to describe a frightening apparition, (Matthew 14:26) and “ghost” to describe the presence of God. (Matthew 1:20 and throughout the New Testament.) Today these words have precisely the opposite meanings, do they not? Ghost is the frightening apparition and Spirit is the presence of God.Remember John Milton of Paradise Lost? Barely 21 years old, Milton stayed up all night on Christmas Eve in 1629 to write On the Morning of Christ's Nativity. It was the first thing he ever wrote. This is the fourth stanza:“See how from far upon the eastern roadThe star-led wisards haste with odours sweet:O run, prevent them with thy humble ode,And lay it lowly at his blessed feet.Have thou the honour first thy Lord to greet,And join thy voice unto the angel quire,From out his secret altar touch'd with hallow'd fire.”Obviously, Milton was speaking of the magi (magicians) or “wise men” spoken of in Matthew chapter two who somehow knew that star to be a sign that Christ had been born. These wise men, or wizards, received no annunciation from an angelic choir. The angels appeared to “shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night,” remember?Yet not only did these wisards know that Christ had been born, they knew exactly what gifts to bring: Gold, the gift given to a king, Frankincense, burned as an offering to God, and Myrrh, resin harvested from the skin of the commiphora tree, used to embalm the bodies of the dead. The wise men believed that this newborn baby was king, that he was God, and that he was born to die.And they came to worship him.Here's the exact passage from the King James Bible:“Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, saying, 'Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him…' And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh.” – Matthew chapter 2, King James Bible, translated in 1611Happy Holidays.Roy H. Williams