Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

“Radio is dying.”“Radio is dead.”“My friends and I don’t listen to the radio. We (blah, blah, blah) instead.”“No one listens to the radio anymore, especially in high-tech places like San Francisco, in the heart of Silicon Valley. That’s right, isn’t it?”Isn’t it?A few paragraphs from now, I’m going to tell you exactly how many people we’re reaching in San Francisco each week and precisely how many times the average San Franciscan hears our radio ad.But first, let’s look at why we can trust those numbers.You’ve heard of the Gallup Poll and you’ve heard of the Nielsen Ratings. And of course, you understand scientific survey methodology and statistical analysis.Nielsen measures San Francisco’s radio listening habits continuously, using a sample size of about 2,400 adults.Oh? You say you don’t understand scientific survey methodology and statistical analysis? You didn’t know the Gallup Poll is usually based on just 1,000 interviews? And that those 1,000 persons represent the entire population of the Unites States with a high degree of accuracy?“How can a poll of only 1,004 Americans represent 260 million people with only a 3 percent margin of error?” This is the name of an article you’ll find in the online archives of Scientific American. In that article, Professor Andrew Gelman of the departments of statistics and political science at Columbia University, says, “The margin of error depends inversely on the square root of the sample size.”This is what Professor Gelman is saying: The smaller the universe, the larger the percentage of that universe must be queried. If you want to know the opinions of a universe of 10 people, you’ve got to ask all 10 of them.The larger the universe, the smaller the percentage of that universe must be queried. To accurately measure the opinions of 700 people, you’ve got to ask 250 of them. But a sample size of only 384 persons will measure the opinions of 1,000,000 people with an identical degree of accuracy.When the Gallup organization wants to get nitpickingly accurate, they crank their sample size up to 1,500 persons. And that’s to measure the whole United States.That Nielsen sample of 2,400 persons in San Francisco isn’t looking quite so small anymore, is it? By the way, the annual report of Nielsen Holdings indicates they had revenues of $6,572,000,000 last year. That’s right. Six and a half billion dollars to monitor our listening and viewing habits.I say “monitor” because Nielsen doesn’t trust our memories or our motives. Nielsen gives each of those 2,400 San Franciscans a small, electronic device to carry with them each day. This “Portable People Meter” detects the radio stations to which you listen, and notes the precise times that you listen to each station, each day. This data is uploaded to Nielsen and serves as the basis of their ratings report.Electronic devices don’t lie.Nielsen’s methodology and math are irrefutable and unimpeachable.I say we can trust Nielsen’s numbers. What say you?We recently negotiated a weekly schedule on the broadcast radio stations of San Francisco. That schedule reaches 43% of the total (18+) population of that city an average of 2.7 times each week, 52 weeks a year, at a total cost of 47 cents per person/per year. This means each of more than 2.5 million San Franciscans will hear our full-length message an average of 140 times in 2018. (52 x 2.7 = 140.4)About 50 percent of America spends enough time listening to the radio each week that you can efficiently and affordably reach those customers with sufficient repetition to become a household word, an intimate component of their daily life.This familiarity accelerates and enhances every other effort at selling; email, online, outdoor, voice-to-voice on the telephone, and face-to-face on the sales floor.In the first chapter of the book of Genesis, it is written 11 times, “And God said…”The only description we are given of God in the book of Genesis is that he spoke a world into existence. But then, in verse 26, it says that we are made in his image.I believe this is why we can speak possible futures into the hearts and minds of other humans. It’s an art we call “selling.” And it works wonderfully well on the radio.It’s okay with me if you believe the Bible is a fairy tale. But if you think Nielsen numbers are a fairy tale, you are in a special kind of denial.Might I humbly and respectfully suggest that you pull your head out of your ass and see the light?That was meant to be a funny, unexpected punch line. If you took it otherwise and it made you angry, I’m sorry. Please say hello to your colon for me.Roy H. Williams

1. When you need someone to faithfully implement your time-tested policies and procedures, hire a straight-A student.This is what we know about them:A. They bought into the educational system, believed its promises, and played by its rules.B. They have demonstrated obedience, compliance, and conformity.C. They have obvious respect for authority.And these are not bad things.2. When you need to innovate, improvise or reinvent, hire a rascal.1This is what we know about them:A. They mistrust the system, laugh at its promises, and make up their own rules.B. They have demonstrated disobedience, defiance, and abnormity.C. They have obvious respect for alternative thinking.Steve Jobs was a rascal with an unimpressive résumé. When Steve applied for a job at Hewlett-Packard in 1977, they rejected him because he had dropped out of Reed College in 1972.“Quitters never win.” That’s the traditional wisdom. Ask any high school football coach. And Steve Jobs was definitely a quitter.Jan Koum was a bonafide rascal. When he was 20, his ex-girlfriend got a restraining order against him. He later said, “I am ashamed of the way I acted, and ashamed that my behavior forced her to take legal action”.Jan Koum was also a quitter. Facebook refused to hire him in 2008 because he had dropped out of San Jose State. Here’s what was on Jan’s resume for the previous year: “I traveled around South America playing ultimate frisbee.”I can almost see that HR director rolling her eyes, can’t you?In 2009, Jan Koum founded WhatsApp, an innovation he sold to Facebook in 2014 for $9.1 billion.Steve Jobs and Jan Koum are mentioned in the opening paragraph of a 59-page study2 published by two academicians in 2017. That paper is titled Asymmetric Information and Entrepreneurship. Its scholarly authors reached their conclusions only after analyzing 12,686 individuals over a period of more than 30 years.I’ll do my best to summarize those 59 pages:“A person is motivated to start their own business when they have more confidence in their ability than they have in their résumé.” – Roy H. WilliamsThere. I’ve put 59 pages into a single sentence.Perhaps I should become an ad writer.Roy H. Williams1 If no rascals are available, you can substitute a rebel, a rogue, or a renegade.2 Hegde, Deepak and Tumlinson, Justin, Asymmetric Information and Entrepreneurship (May 15, 2017). Available for download at SSRN.

When you need people to respond to your ad immediately, you need to think like a reporter.These are the first two things they teach news reporters:“When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news.”“You never read about a plane that did not crash.”So why do so many direct-response ads talk about the man who got bit by a dog, or flew on a plane that did not crash? To be successful, direct-response ads must deliver a message that is remarkable.Recruitment Ads are a form of direct-response marketing.Last week, the following 60-second radio ad reached 19 percent of the total population of Charlotte, NC. The average listener heard this message 6.3 times in just 3 days, Wed/Th/Fr. And it cost only seven tenths of a penny per repetition for a listener to hear it. This means that for less than a nickel per person, (6.3 x 7 tenths of a penny) we electrified 19 percent of the total population of Charlotte with a remarkable message. And you know what? The 19 percent we reached are the friends, neighbors and co-workers of the other 81 percent, guaranteed.Are you a plumber? Would you like to make one hundred thousand dollars a year? That’s right. I said a hundred thousand dollars. Can you install new water heaters, faucets and drains? You hear Morris-Jenkins on TV and radio all the time. Morris-Jenkins Plumbing is the sister company of Morris-Jenkins Air Conditioning and they’re both managed by Dewey Jenkins, the man you DEFINITELY want to work for. Our new plumbing division is keeping 30 plumbers busy and we need 10 more who know how to install water heaters, faucets and drains. We need air conditioning installers, too. Many of our A/C installers are already making a hundred thousand, and we’re putting together a plan that will allow our plumbing installers to make that much, too. We want to meet you. This is not a joke. If you’re ready to start the greatest job you’ll ever have, be at Morris-Jenkins headquarters this Saturday Morning at 8AM for a confidential interview. We need 10 plumbers and 6 air conditioning installers. Be here at 8 o’clock this Saturday morning. You’ll find our address at Morris-Jenkins dot com. Your life is about to get a whole lot better. Morris-Jenkins dot com.That’s a pretty remarkable message, right?But just as important as being remarkable, direct-response ads must also be credible and urgent.Remarkable means your message will be repeated from person to person. “$100,000.”Credible means your message is supported by already-known and trusted facts.(A.) Due to their commitment to long-term customer bonding, Morris-Jenkins is universally recognized as the market leader in Charlotte.(B.) Dewey Jenkins is on TV every day and the public LOVES him.(C.) This ad would not have worked nearly so well for a person that was less respected.Urgent means action must be taken immediately, because(A.) the available number is limited, “We need 10 plumbers and 6 A/C installers.” Or,(B.) the window of time is limited. “Be at Morris-Jenkins Headquarters THIS Saturday morning at 8AM for a confidential interview.(C.) Urgency is accelerated through relentless repetition. We ran this ad twice an hour, 24 hours a day, for 3 days, on each of 2 different radio stations. 288 total airings in 3 days.If your direct-response ads aren’t working, there are only three possible shortcomings.1. The ad is not remarkable. People aren’t talking about it.2. The ad is not credible. In other words, it’s hype.3. The message isn’t urgent. There is no need to take immediate action.NOTE: There has never been a direct-response ad campaign that was sustainable in the long-term. Because the longer you repeat a message, the less remarkable it becomes.Direct response – “Take Action NOW” marketing – is different from customer bonding.Customer bonding ads build long-term reputation and relationship. Direct-response ads erode it. This is why you should use direct-response ads with the same restraint you use prescription opioids.Most direct response marketers prefer to target customers online. They talk about “holding your ad dollars accountable with trackable, measurable results.” What they don’t like to talk about is the extremely high cost of generating awareness online, especially when compared to the extremely low cost of creating excitement through old school, mass media.For the record, 164 plumbing and HVAC professionals were standing in line at 8AM on Saturday, April 14, 2018. Were you aware that recruitment is the limiting factor of nearly every plumbing company and HVAC company in America today? No one can find enough people.Do you remember that cost of 7-tenths of a penny (per repetition) for our direct response campaign?When you buy long-term customer bonding schedules, you get a much better deal than that, usually around 4 or 5-tenths of a penny per repetition. This means you can reach a person with a full-length radio ad, 3x each week, 52 weeks a year, (156 repetitions per person, per year) for about 60 to 80 cents per person/per year in most cities.1Compare that with the cost of pay-per-click.Here’s how customer bonding ads differ from direct-response ads:The purpose of customer bonding is to become the provider that people think of immediately and feel the best about when they – or any of their friends – need what you sell. You have to begin reaching them before they need you, and then wait until they do.If you can write a series of messages that will bond the customer to you, you’re on your way to filling your city with corporate ambassadors who will immediately think of you and feel good about you when they, or any of their friends, need what you sell.You don’t need to mention dollar amounts or prices.You don’t have to create urgency.But you do have to make people like you.Long-term customer bonding is the way big brands, and big companies, are built.Learn more about it at Wizard Academy.Roy H. Williams1 These are the typical results of Devin Wright, America’s top media buyer. The average negotiator will pay about twice that price.

Technically, you don’t take a trip. It takes you.If you could take a trip, you could also put it back when you were done with it.But you can’t.Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s talk about Robert and Chris and the trip they took.It was a 1968 tripfrom Minneapolis to San Franciscoon a 1964 Honda Superhawkwith Chris riding on the backbecause he was only 11 years old.When that trip was over, Robert remembered a lot of things that never really happened. And in 1974 those memories became Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, the best-selling philosophy book ever written. It stayed near the top of the best-seller lists for more than a decade.I agree with a lot of what Robert wrote.But a little of what he wrote makes me wonder if he was crazy.We’ll talk more about that later.These are the things Robert wrote that I agree with:“You look at where you’re going and where you are and it never makes sense, but then you look back at where you’ve been and a pattern seems to emerge.”“The real purpose of the scientific method is to make sure nature hasn’t misled you into thinking you know something you actually don’t know.”“It’s the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top.”“The more you look, the more you see.”“First you get the feeling, then you figure out why.”“We’re in such a hurry most of the time we never get much chance to talk. The result is a kind of endless day-to-day shallowness, a monotony that leaves a person wondering years later where all the time went and sorry that it’s all gone.”“When you live in the shadow of insanity, the appearance of another mind that thinks and talks as yours does is something close to a blessed event.”I like that last statement for 2 reasons. (1.) “The appearance of another mind that thinks and talks as yours does” is sort of why Wizard Academy exists. (2.) Is it just my imagination, or have you noticed that the shadow of insanity (and not the good kind of insanity) seems to be growing wider and darker across our land? I’m seeing and hearing things today that would have been unthinkable 10 years ago.One last quote from the book:“But to tear down a factory or to revolt against a government or to avoid repair of a motorcycle because it is a system is to attack effects rather than causes; and as long as the attack is upon effects only, no change is possible. The true system, the real system, is our present construction of systematic thought itself, rationality itself, and if a factory is torn down but the rationality which produced it is left standing, then that rationality will simply produce another factory. If a revolution destroys a systematic government, but the systematic patterns of thought that produced that government are left intact, then those patterns will repeat themselves in the succeeding government. There’s so much talk about the system. And so little understanding.”I suppose that’s what worries me most about the dark shadow of insanity spreading across our land. If we remove the people who are casting that shadow – but we don’t change the patterns of thought that elevated them – we’ll replace those people with more just like them.I said earlier that we’d talk about Robert being a little bit crazy.Robert Pirsig was treated with electroconvulsive therapy on numerous occasions when he was institutionalized with paranoid schizophrenia and clinical depression between 1961 and 1963. He was 35 when he got out. His son Chris was 6. They began their road trip 5 years later.At its heart, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is an exploration of the underlying belief systems of Western culture. In his foreword to that book, Robert told readers that despite its title, the book should “in no way be associated with that great body of factual information relating to orthodox Zen Buddhist practice.”He added, “It’s not very factual on motorcycles either.”Yes, Robert went crazy for a while.But then he got over it.Perhaps we will, too.Roy H. Williams

We connect with people who interest us.We have fun with people who know how to have fun.We bond with people who believe what we believe.But our deepest relationships are with people who have shared our pain.Think of the people you can count on – always – to have your back. Chances are, you’ve been through hard times with them at your side.Adversity is a whirlwind that tears friends apart if they don’t hold on to each other, but bonds them tightly together if they do.An acquaintance is someone with whom you can laugh.A friend is someone with whom you can cry.I am not suggesting we celebrate adversity.I am suggesting we celebrate our friends.The seeds of commitment are watered by tears.“Where there is sorrow, there is holy ground.”– Oscar Wilde“The thing about rock’n’roll is that for me anyway it wasn’t enough… There were great catch-phrases and driving pulse rhythms… but the songs weren’t serious or didn’t reflect life in a realistic way. I knew that when I got into folk music, it was more of a serious type of thing. The songs are filled with more despair, more sadness, more triumph, more faith in the supernatural, much deeper feelings.”– Bob Dylan, Divine Madness, p. 166If you want to be persuasive, if you want to convince people, you must abandon the myth that you – or anyone else – is capable of being perfectly objective.We see things not as they are, but as we are.Exactly 4 years and one week ago – during this season of Passover and Easter – I wrote to you about cognitive bias:“You’ve heard it said that, ‘Every person is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts.’ Yet we routinely craft our own facts from the fabric of personal experiences, preferences and prejudices. A stereotype is nothing more than a pattern we’ve observed. This pattern isn’t always predictive, but it is a pattern nonetheless and we trust it. We do this in the misbegotten belief that we have correctly interpreted our past experiences and that our preferences and prejudices are, in fact, correct and reliable interpretations of objective reality.”– The Monday Morning Memo for March 24, 2014Preferences and prejudices cannot be trusted.But pain is neither a preference nor a prejudice. And sorrow is hard to escape. To willfully walk into them for the sake of a friend is the signature of someone who cares.Do you have a friend in crisis?Don’t send flowers.Send yourself.Roy H. WilliamsPS – Don’t assume from today’s memo that the wizard is feeling blue. He’s not. It’s just that he and I know a lot of people who need a hug. I’ll bet you know people, too. – Indy BeaglePPS – Leonardo da Vinci clearly understood cognitive bias. He said, “The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.”

The traditional aristocracy of inherited wealth, position and influence is a false one, in my mind.You were born into an influential family. You went to the right kindergarten, the right grade school, the right college, and you party with the right people. You invented the phrase and the wink, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”You are a house cat.You think desperation is an enemy that should be avoided at all costs. But who else can you turn to when you need to clear your mind, focus your thoughts, summon your courage, and unleash your creativity?Desperation will do all of this for you, and more.Desperation is the friend and the ally of every alley cat.Desperation is the mark of every true entrepreneur.Have I angered you? I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention. I was just hoping to encourage those friends who are facing deadly peril, whose options are limited, whose bank accounts are depleted, whose backs are against the wall.That’s never been you? Oh… now I see why you’re angry.You’ve never really had an adventure.In 1992, I helped a friend launch a company that he later sold for $68 million. I can still remember several occasions when his circumstances became so painful that he said he wanted to “curl up in the fetal position.”A few years later, I helped a friend who is brilliant, disciplined, and highly organized. He sees situations clearly and has remarkable judgment. When his company sold for $125 million, I pointed these traits out to him as the reasons his company had thrived. He looked at me very sincerely and without a trace of humor shook his head and said, “No, it was desperation.”“I have often fallen into a doom loop, convinced that I was about to lose everything.” These are the words of a friend whose company revenues are rapidly approaching $1 billion a year.One friend whose net worth is currently more than $2.5 billion speaks of a time 20 years ago when cash was so tight that, “I lived in a tent with my wife and children in the back of our little shop.”These are only 4 of the 400 true entrepreneurs I have known.I’ve never met a self-made person who didn’t have stories of desperation.Stress and trouble are the unmistakable signs of adventure.No stress?No trouble?No adventure.“When we’re safe at home we wish we were having an adventure. But when we’re having an adventure, we wish we were safe at home.”– Thornton WilderDon Quixote saw beauty in Dulcinea when everyone else saw commonness, so he decided to be her champion. And because he was tired of being safe at home, he went looking for adventure. The balance of his epic book are the tales of his battles: his victories and his defeats, his parades and his embarrassments, his glistening moments of accomplishment and his painful regrets. Quixote challenged lions, fought giants, and struggled with adversaries on every side.“And I know if I’ll only be trueTo this glorious quest,That my heart will lie peaceful and calmWhen I’m laid to my rest.”“And the world will be better for this;That one man, scorned and covered with scars,Still strove with his last ounce of courageTo reach the unreachable star.” 1“Scorned and covered with scars…” describes every true entrepreneur.People often ask why I am attracted to Don Quixote. Here is my answer:Don Quixote was a house catwho decided to becomean alley cat.Roy H. Williams

CHAPTER ONE: (97 words)“Circumstances” are where you are right now.“Choices” are what you will make.“Consequences” are what will happen as a result.Sometimes your circumstances are the consequence of your choices. But not always.The circumstances of your birth and your childhood, such as your nationality and your ethnicity, and whether or not your family had money, are not the consequence of any choice you made.It is foolish to feel pride about circumstances that are not the result of your choices.It is foolish to feel shame about circumstances that are not the result of your choices.CHAPTER TWO: (45 words)Will you allow yourself to choose contentment?Or do you believe contentment to be shameful?What is it abouttheir native discontent,their refusal to be satisfied,their undying hunger for more,that makes us admire an ambitious person?Contentment is a choice, not a consequence.CHAPTER THREE: (60 words)Guilt is about what you have done. Shame is about who you are.You choose shame when you continue to do what you know is wrong.Feelings of guilt are beneficial when they cause you to make better choices.When you make better choices, you are no longer who you were.So let the shame go. It isn’t yours anymore.CHAPTER FOUR: (26 words)You can evaluate a man’s ethics by the condition in which he leaves a public restroom.I don’t know how to evaluate the ethics of women.CHAPTER FIVE: (68 words)The angels in the sky sang to the shepherds, “All is forgiven.”A star in the sky whispered to the wise men, “Follow me.”The message was clear to the shepherds.But the wise men had to figure it out on their own.“What’s it all about?” ask the wise men, the entrepreneurs, inventors, artists and kings.But the shepherds – underpaid nurses, caretakers, guardians and teachers – already know.CHAPTER SIX: (69 words)Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919) worked as a telegraph messenger 169 years ago. Books were expensive in those days and there were no public libraries. But a Pittsburg man, Col. James Anderson, opened up his collection of 400 books every Saturday to local boys who wanted to expand their minds. Carnegie later donated $56.5 million to open more than 2500 libraries in a dozen countries, saying, “The man who dies thus rich, dies disgraced.”CHAPTER SEVEN: (40 words)Julius Rosenwald (1862-1932) was a Jewish garment manufacturer who quietly donated more than $50 million in matching funds to construct 5,357 schools in African-American communities across the impoverished Southern States. “He who gives while he lives, knows where it goes.”CHAPTER EIGHT: (42 words)Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965) left us his best advice, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.”CHAPTER NINE: (83 words)Billionaires Bill and Melinda Gates ($88.5 billion) have been joined by Warren Buffett ($74.2 billion) and 158 other billionaires in an effort to remedy society’s most pressing problems by committing to give more than half their wealth to philanthropy or charitable causes, either during their lifetime or in their will. The current pledge total is now more than $365 billion.Imagine spending a billion dollars a day – a thousand million dollars – every day for a year, in an effort to change the world.CHAPTER TEN: (19 words)The wisest of the wise menalways becomeshepherdsin the end.The shepherds were the first to know.Roy H. Williams

Life-changing decisions often seem small on the day we make them.1978 – Everyone had gone home. I was in the warehouse alone, waiting for Pennie to come and pick me up. I had been installing guttering on houses all day. The job paid $5 an hour.We had just one car.Bored, I looked in the phone book to see if Tulsa had one of those pre-recorded “dial-a-prayer” lines I might call to pass the time.There were three of them.I called.I was appalled.Later that night I saw my friend, “Cheerful Charlie” Myers, and told him how devastatingly bad those messages had been. My secret hope was that Charlie would volunteer to create a more interesting daily message. I said, “Someone ought to…”Before I could finish that sentence, Charlie reached into his pocket, grabbed my wrist, turned my palm upward, slapped a 10-dollar bill into it, looked into my eyes and said, “And you’re just the man to do it. Here’s ten bucks. Let me know what number to call after the equipment is installed.”I had allowed my alligator mouth to overload my mockingbird butt, and Charlie called me on it.That ten dollars would be the only money I would ever collect from “Daybreak,” my daily recorded message, because I never told anyone how they could get in touch with me. The daily call count got so high that Pennie and I had to install rollover lines and lease additional equipment because too many callers were getting a busy signal.I was spending about 3 hours of writing time each day and 25% of our household income each month to fund an enterprise from which there was never a plan for return-on-investment.But it was the ultimate Masters Class on Ad Writing.If you write a new message – 7 days a week – that is interesting enough to cause complete strangers to voluntarily dial a phone number each day to hear that message, your friends are going to ask you to start writing ads for them.But ad writing takes a lot of time. So much, in fact, that “Daybreak” became a weekly 1-page fax called The Monday Morning Memo. That fax later became an email and a podcast. You’re reading it, or listening to it, right now.1998 ­– exactly 20 years after Cheerful Charlie Myers slapped that 10-dollar bill into my hand, Bard Press collected 100 of those memos and The Wizard of Ads became Business Book of the Year. Secret Formulas of the Wizard of Ads (1999) and Magical Worlds of the Wizard of Ads (2001) became New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers.Then Pennie found a 21-acre plateau that overlooked Austin from 900 feet above the city and suggested that we build a campus for artists and entrepreneurs.2018 – exactly 20 years after The Wizard of Ads was published – I’m preparing to turn Wizard Academy over to a new generation of leadership and begin the next chapter of my life with the Princess.But that’s enough about me.2018 – Let’s talk about you.  Have you mapped the journey that brought you to where you are? I just showed you how to do it.Find a moment that, in hindsight, looks to be auspicious.Begin your map at that point in time.Look back at other positive, pivotal moments.Figure out where they should be on your map.Connect the dots.The fun of this exercise is that it:reminds you of who you are.focuses your attention on good, not bad, memories.gives you a glimpse at what might – just maybe – be around the corner.And now a Traveler’s Blessing for you that I condensed from the Tefilat Haderekh, the traditional Hebrew traveler’s prayer:May God guide your footsteps toward peace, and cause you to reach a happy destination. May he rescue you from the hand of every foe, and every ambush along the way. And may you have a wonderful time.Roy H. Williams

People don’t Paint-by-Number as often as they did 50 years ago.My personal theory is that we came to our senses and realized Paint-by-Number paintings are perfectly awful.But we still see and hear a lot of Advertise-by-Number and Sales-by-Number.I blame the colleges.Paint-by-number paintings employ a template. I’m not against templates. I’ve created dozens of them. The purpose of a template is to give beginners a way to begin. The hope, of course, is that the beginner will learn to improvise, develop new techniques, and leave the template behind. But invariably some fool of an instructor will carve the template in stone and treat it as an idol to be worshiped, a perfection to which we should all aspire, a standard to which we should all be held accountable.And because templates are step-by-step and simple and tidy and easily monitored, they are quickly embraced by people looking for shortcuts and hacks.Pause with me for a moment to thank merciful God above that the template worshippers never discovered poetry. If they had, all poems would begin, “Roses are red, violets are blue…”Sadly, the template worshippers discovered marketing in the 1950s.That’s when most of our tragic Advertise-by-Number and Sales-by-Number templates were developed, popularized, and adopted as standard operating procedure. These obsolete templates from the 1950s are why we hate most advertising and are suspicious of most salespeople.Advertise-by-Number Template #1: Your Unique Selling PropositionBusiness owners are usually introduced to this template by well-meaning ad writers who ask, “What is it that you do differently than your competitors? We need to focus on what YOU do that they DON’T do. What makes you different and special and better than everyone else?”TRUTH: Bad advertising is about you, your company, your product, your service. “Me, me, me, me, me.” Bad advertising walks into the room and shouts, “Here I am!”Good advertising is about the customer and how you hope to improve their world. Good advertising walks into the room and smiles, “There you are!”Advertise-by-Number Template #2: Reach the right people.Targeting the “right” customer is always more expensive. A lot more expensive. This is why media salespeople want you to focus your attention on reaching “the perfect target customer.” Age. Gender. Income. Zip code. Purchase history. When you agree with the seller that some people are “right” but most are “wrong” for your business, you just agreed to pay a premium price for whatever media they’re selling.TRUTH: Decisions are never made in a vacuum. To become a household word, you must also reach the influencers, the friends and neighbors, sons and daughters, husbands and wives, co-workers and employers of your customer. But happily, this “unfiltered” mass audience is extremely affordable.TRUTH: Telling an interesting story – saying the right thing – is much more important than “reaching the right customer.” When you learn to speak to the heart, you’re going to be surprised at how many people suddenly become the “right” people. Online engagement, page views, time spent on site, and word-of-mouth will skyrocket.Advertise-by-Number Template #3: Tell them what they want to hear.“Tell them what they want to hear,” is the very definition of hype! Hyperbolic statements of high relevance, but low credibility, cause customers to roll their eyes and whisper, “That would be impressive if I believed you.”TRUTH: You gain credibility when you are open, honest, and vulnerable. The strongest ads create a bond with the customer. Win the heart, and the mind will follow. Your customer can always find logic to support what their heart has already decided.Sales-by-Number Template #1: Everyone is an extravert.“Engage the customer immediately. Make eye contact. Smile big. Shake their hand. Pat their back. Never quit talking. In other words, be friendly.” Extraverts live to talk. Face-to-face. Nose-to-nose. It gives them energy and makes them feel good. Does it surprise you that extraverts are naturally attracted to selling? Here’s what’s funny: They’re treating you exactly how they prefer to be treated.TRUTH: What feels like “friendliness” to the extravert feels like “assault” to the introvert. And 49.5 percent of the population is introverted.1 Are you beginning to understand why Amazon.com has become the #1 search engine for product research, even when we’re planning to buy the product at a local brick-and-mortar store?TRUTH: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” assumes that everyone is like you. If you want happier customers, you must learn to, “do unto others as they prefer to be done unto.”Sales-by-Number Template #2: Dominate the conversation.“Don’t let the customer lead you. You must lead them. Don’t listen to their story. Make them listen to yours.”TRUTH: People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care. And the way to let people know that you truly care is to listen to them carefully and then help them find what they want, not what you want them to have.Have I put the matter too strongly? Have I?Do I sound like I have a chip on my shoulder? Do I sound like I’m a little bit angry?If so, it is only because I’ve been reading Grace Paley (1922 – 2007,) who said,“Let us go forth with fear and courage and rage to save the world.”I’m just trying to save the world from bad advertising and tacky salesmanship.Do you want to help?Meet me at Wizard Academy.Roy H. Williams

We experience wonder when we realize our true size.On clear nights, we ride a speck of dust as it circles an 11,000-degree fireball shooting through a limitless vacuum at 52 times the speed of a rifle bullet.And that fireballis one of billionsof fireballsin our galaxy.And our galaxyis one of billionsof galaxies.Looking at the stars, we know our true size.On rainy days, we thumb through the fading scrapbooks of our minds, celebrating small and silly victories, reflecting on old mistakes, examining events that will cease to be when we are gone.And again, we know our true size.Jorge Luis Borges speaks of this infinite, inner universe in The Witness.“The man, while still a boy, had seen the face of Woden, had seen holy dread and exultation, had seen the rude wooden idol weighed down with Roman coins and heavy vestments, seen the sacrifice of horses, dogs, and prisoners. Before dawn he would be dead and with him would die, never to return, the last firsthand images of the pagan rites. The world would be poorer when this Saxon was no more.”“We may well be astonished by space-filling acts which come to an end when someone dies, and yet something, or an infinite number of things, die in each death. There was a day in time when the last eyes to see Christ were closed forever. The battle of Junín and the love of Helen died with the death of some one man.”“What will die with me when I die? What pathetic or frail form will the world lose? Perhaps the voice of Macedonio Fernandez, the image of a horse in the vacant space at Serrano and Charcas, a bar of sulfur in the drawer of a mahogany desk?”Roy Batty, the leader of the replicants in Blade Runner (1982) spoke of his own inner universe just before he died.“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”Likewise, in Richard Hoggart’s First and Last Things, an old woman observes,“Since Penelope Noakes of Duppas Hill is gone, there is no one who will ever call me Nellie again.”I mention these things only because you populate your private universe with people and events of your own choosing.If you don’t like the world you live in, you can change it.The people who occupy the space around youcan choose to be there against your will.But you, alone,control who it isthat occupiesthe real estateof your mind.Roy H. Williams