Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

My friend has been important to me for 6 or 7 years.I had no idea that he had any money until about 3 years ago.My friend is a professional gambler.No, he doesn’t gamble on green felt tables with cards or dice. He gambles on NASDAQ and the New York Stock Exchange.“Oh, he’s an investor,” you say.“No, I’m a highly informed gambler,” he responds.My friend wins 7 out of every 8 bets and makes about $100,000 a week.No, I won’t give you his name and it wouldn’t do you any good if I did. He won’t share any tips with you or me or anyone else and he certainly doesn’t need our money. He is a lone wolf hunting a lone wolf’s prey.My gambling friend doesn’t embrace traditional stock market wisdom but calculates the size of his bets according to his degree of confidence using the Kelly Criterion, an obscure formula used by professional gamblers since 1956.I, too, am a professional gambler who determines the size of his bets according to the degree of his confidence. But I don’t gamble my money on the stock market. I gamble my client’s money on ad campaigns.My ads make millions of dollars a week, but I don’t get to keep the money. It goes to the people who believed in my methods.Investors don’t like to think of themselves as gamblers. That’s why so many of them lose. The same is true of advertisers. Investors and advertisers like to believe they are scientists.Investors fall in love with stocks.Advertisers fall in love with media.Gamblers love only the dance.My friend taught me that.He and I agree that traditional wisdom is usually more tradition than wisdom. Do you agree with us?If you do, here are a few of those non-traditional thoughts about advertising that have been responsible for those millions of dollars a week.Your choice of media doesn’t make your ad perform. Your ad makes your choice of media perform. So be careful not to count on “reaching the right people.” Instead, be careful to say the right things.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.Don’t try to “educate the customer,” believing they would choose you, “if only they understood.” Talk about something they already care about. Speak to a felt need.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.If you try to reach the right person at the right time with the right message, you will forever be frustrated with feast-and-famine results. But if you reach the masses with a memorable message long before they need you, and continue to reach them until they do, you will be the person they think of immediately and feel the best about.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.If you have a product with a short purchase cycle (like food and entertainment,) you can expect quick results to your advertising. But if you have a product with a long purchase cycle, you need to prepare yourself for dismal results at first, but those results will get better and better when your ad campaign finally gets traction.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.Entertainment is the only currency with which you can purchase the time and attention of a too-busy public.Without an element of surprise, there can be no delight.Repetition is effective. Repetition is effective. Repetition is effective.If you win the heart, the mind will follow. The intellect will always create logic to justify what the heart has already decided.If you want to read some fascinating case histories, take a look at this new blog.And never forget that you are, in fact, gambling.Roy H. Williams

The first obelisk was a stone pillar with a tapered top created by the ancient Egyptians to honor the sun god.It is a finger, pointing to the sky.The Roman army carried Egyptian obelisks back to Rome as a sign of their power over that nation.The Vatican uncovered a buried Egyptian obelisk five hundred years ago and placed it in St. Peter’s Square as a sign of Catholicism’s victory over paganism. “Our God is better than your gods.”Modern obelisks are erected as memorials of people, events, and accomplishments.But the obelisk that interests me most is a jagged dagger of rock that rises eighteen hundred and forty-four feet above the surface of the ocean. This arrow to the sky has been known as Ball’s Pyramid since 1788, even though it was countless centuries old when Henry Ball’s mother gave birth to him.It never really belonged to Ball; he just discovered it.I think we put our names on things because we want to be remembered, but that doesn’t really work. Ben White and William Cannon are two famous boulevards in the city where I live, but I’ve never met anyone who could tell me who those men were or what they did.My friend Tom Grimes once wrote me an email that said,“Nobody other than a handful will think about us 15 minutes after we check out permanently. And when you realize how insignificant you really are, you are free to experience the world the way it is supposed to be experienced. One moment at a time. And that ‘This Day’ is ‘The Day.’”I think Tom is right. Our lives aren’t measured by one big accomplishment, but by all the little things we do and say. Every person is given, at birth, a colorful imagination and a tongue for a brush.Splashes of color are left on our lives by every person we encounter.And how we do love those people who paint in our hearts a bright finger of encouragement, pointing toward the sky!What will you paint today?Roy H. Williams

It takes four people to make a world.One person wants acceptance.They hope to save the relationship.Under pressure, they acquiesce.One person wants accuracy.They hope to save face.Under pressure, they avoid.One person wants applause.They hope to save effort.Under pressure, they attack.One person wants accomplishment.They hope to save time.Under pressure, they become autocratic.When I was taught these things 40 years ago, I didn’t know what ‘autocratic’ meant, but I knew I was the fourth person, the ‘autocratic’ one focused on accomplishment.Impediments and incompetence annoy me, and I see no value in committees.In case you didn’t know, that last statement was autocratic. AAutocrats are socially awkward, but we are good at making things happen. If you want to get something done, put an autocrat in charge. If they need a friend, they’ll buy a dog.If you want acceptance, you will try to win those people who do not believe in your dream.If you want accuracy, you will study and plan and update your plan again and again.If you want applause, you will talk to the people who admire you.If you want accomplishment, you will leap to the challenge and deal quickly and directly with impediments and incompetence. This is what it means to be a weasel slapper.Monkey farmers see a problem and embrace it, form a bond with it, try to understand it, then carry that monkey on their back. This monkey attracts other monkeys. Are you beginning to see the problem?I said, “Autocrats are socially awkward, but we are good at making things happen.” But the things we make happen aren’t always good. This is why the other three people are so important.The one who wants acceptance will make sure customers love your company and your employees never want to leave it.The one who wants accuracy will make sure the bills are paid and that you never get in trouble with the IRS or with any other regulatory agency.The one who wants applause will make sure everyone has heard of you.By yourself, you are just a lone nut charging a windmill with a lance.Would we have ever heard of Don Quixote if there had been no Sancho Panza?Would we have ever heard of Steve Jobs if there had been no Wozniak?Would we have ever heard of ‘Look at Me’ Paul McCartney without brooding, negative John Lennon? Could Lennon and McCartney have been The Beatles without sardonic George Harrison and ‘I Love Everyone’ Ringo Starr?It takes four people to make a world.Anyone who thinks they can do it all alone…is going to find themselves…all alone.Roy H. Williams

Thomas Mann, the winner of the 1929 Nobel Prize in Literature, said, “A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.”I agree with Thomas Mann. Having logged more than 39,000 hours of writing during the past 30 years, I can say with confidence that no sane person fights quite so fiercely or so long to find exactly the right word as does the writer. And to hear a word used inappropriately causes the ear to itch like a mosquito bite.My warm heart overflows with hope that you will find the next few paragraphs to be instructive, insightful, and illuminating, but my cold and calculating mind suspects that you will find these paragraphs to be mildly comical, at best.If you were to choose to quit reading right now, I would understand.Oh, my. You’re still here.I suppose I should begin.I was contemplating my admiration of 86-year-old Carol Burnett when I realized that she is probably the most active and vibrant of the female television stars of the late 1960’s.When I Googled “female television stars of the 1960s” I was surprised to see that virtually every website included not just the female television stars, but the female movie stars, as well.“Is there a difference?” you ask.Yes, there is a difference. Television stars are famous for their television shows. Movie stars are famous for their movies. And sex symbols are famous for their sex appeal. Famous sex symbols of that era include Barbara Eden in “I Dream of Jeannie,” and Donna Douglas as Ellie Mae Clampett in “The Beverly Hillbillies,” who served as the prototype for another hillbilly sex symbol, Daisy Duke, played by Catherine Bach eight years later on “The Dukes of Hazzard.”Television Star, Movie Star, and Sex Symbol are three different designations, although it is possible for one person to be all three.I confess that I am equally distressed by the rampant misuse of the word, “mentor.”People often tell me about their “mentors,” and then proceed to list people whose work influenced and inspired them, even though none of those “mentors” interacted with them directly, or even knew that they were alive. If we want to be accurate, we will say that the work of such a person influenced us and inspired us, but we will not go so far as to call them our “mentor.”If a person is your mentor, you are their apprentice, their protégé. A person is your mentor when they take an interest in you and devote a meaningful amount of time and energy into your future.Lucille Ball did far more than influence and inspire Carol Burnett. She actively mentored Carol until April 26, 1989.On Carol Burnett’s 56th birthday, she woke up to hear the news that her longtime friend and mentor, Lucille Ball, had died unexpectedly.Carol was devastated.Several hours later, there was a knock on her door. Carol Burnett opened the door to see a delivery man holding a huge bouquet of flowers with a note that said, “Happy Birthday, Kid. Love, Lucy.”Thirty years later, Carol cannot speak of it without crying.Roy H. Williams

Good decisions come from experience.Experience comes from bad decisions.Bad decisions aren’t made because a person is stupid. Bad decisions are often the result of logic.The first thing experience will teach you is, “Not everything logical is true.”Logic among advertising professionals says, “Always target the right customer.” But if you embrace that premise,you will gravitate to online marketing because it allows you to reach specific types of people, track results, gather data, and hold your ad budget accountable.you will spend too much money to reach too few people.you will see your advertising efficiency decrease, not increase, as you grow.you will fail to become widely known.Alex Iskold is not an advertising professional. Alex blogs about startups and venture capital as the Managing Director of Techstars. He was previously the founder and CEO of Information Laboratory, which was acquired by IBM, and Chief Architect at DataSynapse, which was acquired by TIBCO.In other words, Alex is a tech guy.His home page bio says “An engineer by training, Alex has deep passion and appreciation for startups, digital products and elegant code. He likes running, yoga, complex systems, Murakami books and red wine. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily all together. He blogs about startups and venture capital at http://alexiskold.net ”Recently, he wrote,“2019 was the year when VCs and startup founders soured on paid acquisition. Contrary to what most thought a few years back, CAC (Cost of Acquiring a Customer) didn’t go down as many D2C (Direct-to-Consumer) startups scaled. The costs instead went up.”“The explosion of D2C brands and mega rounds of funding led to massive amounts of capital deployed into advertising. All this cash flooded Facebook, Instagram and other social channels, and bid up the costs of Google ads. We’ve heard that these channels have become saturated, and that the companies are seeing diminishing returns on spending additional advertising dollars.”“We also heard that consumer’s attention has become fragmented and that, combined with increasing competition for eyeballs from the brands and saturation of the channels, has led to increases in CAC (Cost of Acquiring a Customer).”“While all of this is absolutely true, this is only 1/2 of the story.”“Why startups struggle to scale: The reality is that unless you have strong word of mouth, you are forced to spend money to grow your customer base. And that relationship between the spend and the growth is linear. The more you spend on marketing and advertising the more customers you get. On the surface it sounds great, but if and when you dial down your spend – your growth stops.”Mass media includes television, radio, and outdoor, each of which is shockingly affordable when compared to the cost of paid, online advertising.I have a number of friends who own large, online companies that sell millions of dollars per month – Direct to Consumer – around the world. The average brick-and-mortar business invests 5% to 10% of topline sales into advertising. My buddies who own D2C online companies are spending 30% to 35%.The logical criticism of mass media is best summarized in a statement that has been aimed at me hundreds of times by promoters of online targeting, “You’re using a shotgun, but I’m using a rifle with a scope.”But the shotgun vs. rifle argument assumes that the costs are reasonably equal. But the simple truth is that you can reach thousands of untargeted people for the price of one, targeted person. And among those thousands of untargeted influencers will be not just one, but several of the people you would have targeted. The familiarity you win and the reputation you gain and the word-of-mouth you trigger by reaching all those untargeted influencers will be yours at no extra charge.But if you leverage your budget into local, mass media,you will feel certain that you’ve made a mistake during the early months when you’re not seeing significant results.you will experience a time when your rocket ship finally begins accelerating, if you don’t chicken out. We call this window “breakthrough.”you will see your advertising efficiency increase, year after year, as you grow.you will become widely known.The voice of experience says, “If you want to be the one customers think of immediately and feel the best about, use mass media to reach the masses. But be sure to tell an interesting and memorable story.”You’ve heard me say all this before, right? But the truth is always a paradox.And the other side of the truth about the wonderful efficiency of mass media is that sometimes it isn’t a fit for what you need to accomplish.I just approved a plan to use geofencing and geotargeting to reach the people in a specific group of buildings in the downtown area of a major city. Surprised? The cost of mass media in that city was beyond the limitations of our budget, so we’re moving ahead with a highly targeted online campaign.It’s the only way we can shrink the city to a size that we can afford.We’ll reach surprisingly few people, but each of those people will be in exactly the right location to take the action we’d like them to take.I’ll let you know how it turns out in a couple of months.Roy H. Williams

My most successful ads in 2019 were the ones where I refrained from using logic, but chose instead to speak to the unconscious mind.Advertise your product to the conscious mind of a customer and you will likely be met with doubt, disinterest, and suspicion. But the unconscious mind greets you with none of these.Speaking to the unconscious is not nearly so complicated as it sounds.Here’s a recent example. A big jewelry store asked for an ad that would trigger interest in their custom-design department. The instructions I was given were typical of the instructions received by most ad writers: “Custom Designed Jewelry – Our jeweler can make just about anything from custom engagement rings, wedding bands, pendants, etc. – Let us know if you need more information about our services.”These were the thoughts that ran through my head:Custom-designed jewelry is the answer to a question that few people are asking. Consequently, it is not a felt need.But plenty of people would love to a have a distinctive, one-of-a-kind, “signature” piece of jewelry.If I speak directly to the issue by describing how “our talented designers can design distinctive, one-of-a-kind, signature pieces of jewelry for any special occasion… custom engagement rings, wedding bands, pendants, whatever you like,” people are just going to groan and roll their eyes because they will be seeing nothing in their mind, and experiencing no associative memories.Therefore, I’m going to have to come at this from an unusual angle and attempt to trigger positive, associative memories in the unconscious. (An associative memory is a memory that is linked to another memory.) If I am successful, these associative memories will inspire the curiosity of the customer to begin considering possible options.Here is the 30-second script that sprang from those musings:ROY:  Watermelon green and red,SARAH: Honey gold,ROY:   Tart lemon yellow.SARAH: Apricot orange.ROY:  Blueberry blue.SARAH: Mulberry purple.ROY:  And the pink of a perfect peach.SARAH:  All the colors of nature can be found in gemstones.ROY:   Choose a twinkling tintSARAH:   or a shimmering shadeROY:  as your own, signature colorSARAH:  to sparkle forever in your one-of-a-kindROY:   custom-designedSARAH:   jewelry.ROY: All the colors of wildflowersSARAH: glimmering and shimmering in the morning sun, are yours…ROY: at NAME OF STORE, LOCATION© Roy H. Williams, 2020People who hear that ad will ask themselves, “What would my signature color be?” And without intending to, they will begin imagining a custom-designed piece of jewelry.Few of these people, if any, will consciously consider that each of the colors named in the ad has a flavor, or that the yellow mentioned was “tart,” or that it followed “honey.” Honey and lemon is a famously soothing combination.Likewise, few will notice the mesmerizing rhythm of the two voices finishing each other’s sentences. This is known among writers as “meter,” and it is how the written and spoken language becomes musical.Colors, flavors, and music speak to the unconscious mind and trigger rich, positive associations.How does one resist a field of wildflowers glimmering and shimmering in the morning sun?“What do fruits and wildflowers have to do with selling custom jewelry?” you ask.“Everything,” I answer.Everything.Roy H. Williams

1: You are the product of your genetic code, hardwired to behave in certain ways.2: You are the product of your environment, the sum total of your influences.3: You are the product of your choices. It is your preferences, not your surroundings, that define you.I believe it is a mistake to cling too tightly to any of these 3 ideas. Each of them is true, I think, but not to the exclusion of the other two.The first explanation of you – DNA – is biological.The second explanation of you – Environment – is sociological.The third explanation of you – Choice – is theological.You don’t get to choose your DNA.You don’t get to choose how or where you spend your early childhood years.You do get to choose what you do next.I say these things to you because you are staring into the mirror of a brand-new year; so new that you can still smell the vinyl upholstery.I see your future clearly. Shall I tell you about it?Things will happen to you that are beyond your control. A few of these will be bad. But why worry? They are beyond your control. You have no power to change these things, no matter how well you worry. “Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”– Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, from his book, Meditations, published in 200 A.D.“True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence on the future.”– Lucius Annaeus Seneca, (4 B.C. – 65 A.D.)Yes, things will happen to you that are beyond your control. But most of these will be good things. Do not take them for granted, but anchor yourself in these daily moments of serendipity. Let them speak to you of the joy of living:You will step outside just in time to see the afternoon sky melt into the red, orange and gold of autumn leaves.You will be contacted by an old friend you had been thinking about calling.You will have the opportunity to play with a puppy.You will order a dish you’ve never had and be amazed at the interplay of flavors and spices.You will be paid a true compliment by a stranger.You will be given the opportunity to make a big difference in the life of someone else, and it will be within your power to say, “Yes.”You will look into the face of an infant, and it will smile at you.You will discover a short-cut that saves you time and trouble.You will talk to empty air and know that you have been heard.You will have a happy, new year.These good things, and many hundreds of others like them, are waiting for you, just ahead.Roy H. Williams

I want you to be in Austin on May 2nd if you can.The Princess has chosen the perfect location for The House of Bilbo Baggins, and there’s a chance we may have something for you to see when you get here.We have also begun construction on The Village of the Lost Boys and we ought to have the first two of the cabins in that village mostly completed by then.You remember The Lost Boys from Peter Pan, don’t you? Peter tells Wendy about them in chapter 3 of his glittering 1904 novel.“They are the children who fall out of their perambulators when the nurse is looking the other way.”“Are none of them girls?”“Oh, no; girls are much too clever to fall out of their prams.”May 2nd will be the 20th Anniversary of the birth of Wizard Academy.In the year 2000, classes were held in the attic of our offices in Buda.In 2001, we appropriated the little one-room building next door that was originally built as a gym for the employees of Williams Marketing.In 2004, Princess Pennie located and purchased the plateau across which our sprawling little campus is now draped.The 6 cabins in The Village of the Lost Boys will raise the number of on-campus rooms to 24, but with a second bed in the loft of each cabin, we will theoretically be able to sleep 30.And 30 people, ladies and gentlemen, is a very packed Eye of the Storm.Did you know that The Eye of the Storm classroom and lecture hall in the tower was built by Tim Storm? I always intended to call it The Eye of the Storm since it is where the fierce winds of new information cause us to realize that much of “traditional marketing wisdom” is more tradition than wisdom. It was that loveliest of invisible ladies, Serendipity, that whispered to Tim Storm that he should build it, even though he had no idea what I planned to name it.I have always depended on the whispers of Serendipity to suggest to the friends of Wizard Academy that they should leave a permanent mark on our campus. Dozens of you have already heard her whispers and acted upon them. On May 2nd, 2020, we’re going to celebrate what you, and she, have done together.Two weeks ago, Tim Gallagher was in The Magical Worlds Communications Workshop with his delightful daughter, Fallyn. She had never seen Gallagher Lane, that lovely winding sidewalk that leads from The Bell Wall all the way down to Engelbrecht House in the Valley of the Lost Boys. Have you never noticed the beautiful verdigris-bronze plaque in the portal of the Bell Wall? (Don’t worry, Indy says he’s going to show it to you along with a lot of other cool stuff in today’s highly informative rabbit hole. To enter the rabbit hole, just click the image of Indy Beagle at the top of this Monday Morning Memo.)On January 1, the day after tomorrow, Daniel Whittington will officially take over as Chancellor of Wizard Academy although he’s been doing most of my job for at least two years. Can you believe Daniel has been here for 6 years and that Zac Smith has been serving as Vice-Chancellor for a full year already?I will remain involved in classes at Wizard Academy and Pennie will continue her duties overseeing the appearance of the physical campus for years to come, but the day-to-day financial obligations and management of your school are now solidly on the shoulders of young brother Whittington.On May 2nd, we will release that long-awaited guidebook, Secrets of the Wizard Academy Campus, as you and we celebrate our past 20 years together and take a look at what is planned for the next 20 years. Among those things will be the speedy completion of The Village of the Lost Boys and The House of Bilbo Baggins.And then there is the incredibly important new certification program called The Ad Writers Masters Class.Indy is tapping the toenails of his right-front paw. I think he’s anxious for you to come and see what he has for you in the rabbit hole.Roy H. Williams

When you begin to write, the words and phrases that leap into your mind will be the ones you hear most often. Go ahead and write them down.The best writers begin by just blurting it out.A willingness to write badly is the key to writing well.After winning the Pulitzer prize for fiction, James Michener said,“I have never thought of myself as a good writer. Anyone who wants reassurance of that should read one of my first drafts. But I’m one of the world’s great rewriters.”Another Pulitzer prize winner, Bernard Malamud said,“The idea is to get the pencil moving quickly. Once you’ve got some words looking back at you, you can take two or three, throw them away and look for others.”The legendary Terry Southern tells us,“The important thing in writing is the capacity to astonish. Not shock—shock is a worn-out word—but astonish.”When you have written all that you wanted to say, look at it. When you see an overused phrase, replace it with a string of words that mean the same thing, but glow with a rainbow of color.When you notice a defeated, predictable word, replace it with one that carries a handgun.When the words staring back at you make you laugh a little, then look for a particularly arresting phrase – a phrase that carries handcuffs on its belt– and move it to the top of the stack.You’ll often find your strongest opening line about one third of the way down from the top. I don’t know why opening lines try to hide there, but that’s usually where you’ll find them.Now that you’ve got a strong opening line and a story full of colorful phrases, let’s “Thomas Jefferson” that thing. Right after he wrote that snarky letter to King George, Thomas told us,“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.”Boring people wrap a lot of words around a small idea.Fascinating people deliver big ideas quickly.Shorter hits harder.You’re going to have some free time during the holidays, so write me a 600-word story. It can be about anything you want except politics. It can be true or fictional, happy or sad, tender or defiant. But it can’t be boring.Indiana Beagle will choose the best of these and post one each week in the rabbit hole during the first few months of 2020. Be sure to attach an interesting photo of yourself. Also, include your mailing address in case Indy wants to send you a little something. You can email the beagle at indy@WizardOfAds.comWe’ll talk again after Christmas.May your holiday sparkle with laughter!Roy H. Williams

An unhappy person who talks about “the way things ought to” be has a decision to make.They need to take action, orThey need to shut up and get on with their life.I’m sorry if that sounded cold and harsh. Allow me to explain.“The Way Things Ought to Be” is a fantasy world. Complaining that you don’t live there is pointless.“The Way Things Really Are” is the world you live in. Learn to navigate in that world and you can go anywhere you want.I’m not saying that you have to make peace with the status quo.I’m not saying that you have to accept things as they are.I’m not saying that you are powerless to change things.I’m saying that unproductive whining is pointless.Take action or shut up. Don’t spend your life believing you are a victim and trying to convince everyone else of it.“But can’t I at least tell people how I feel?”It depends on who those people are. Do they have the power to change things? If they do, then yes, tell them how you feel. And then convince other people to do the same. Start a revolution. Create a future that is better than the past. Progress depends on people like you.But if you share your indignation with people who have don’t have the power to change things, and you have no intention of talking to the people who do have the power, you’re just complaining, moaning, and whining.No one likes a whiner.The difference between a victim and a revolutionary is that the victim takes no action beyond complaining to their friends.A revolutionary risks ridicule and defeat. He or she spends time, energy, and money in the effort to make the future better than the past.You can make a difference if you are willing to pay the price.George Bernard Shaw said,“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends upon the unreasonable man.”And then he said,“You don’t hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself.”Are you willing to fall under the hammer if that’s what it takes to change things?Even when I don’t agree with them, I admire women and men who do more than just complain to their friends.But in every instance I always agree with that delightful person who takes no position unless they are also willing to take action, that person who elevates every conversation to a pleasant topic and makes you feel happy they are around.Roy H. Williams