Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

Hollywood has been feeding us romanticized history ever since Birth of a Nation splattered across the silver screen in 1915.Romanticized history is a lie.People will always believe lies that reinforce their worldview.Hollywood feeds us romanticized history because we love it, and the fictions we love best are those heroic stories of pioneers and settlers and cowboys during the years of America’s westward expansion.John Wayne was a powerful icon of rugged individualism for two generations of American men. He was self-reliant and manly and brave, the living embodiment of maximum masculinity. There was no woman in distress he could not save, no wilderness he could not tame, no fight he could not win.His real name was Marion Morrison and he grew up in Southern California. According to WIKIPEDIA, “He lost a football scholarship to the University of Southern California as a result of a bodysurfing accident and began working for the Fox Film Corporation…. It was John Ford’s Stagecoach (1939) that made Wayne a mainstream star, and he starred in 142 motion pictures altogether. According to one biographer, ‘John Wayne personified for millions the nation’s frontier heritage.’”The real-world Americans who traveled westward in the hope of finding a better life were, for the most part, poor people with nothing to lose. With few tools and no resources, they improvised as best they could. They endured painful hunger, parching thirst, desperate cold, raging disease and the untimely death of people they loved.We romanticize these struggling families of an earlier century and call them “self-reliant, rugged individuals.” We imagine them as strong, beautiful characters in a John Wayne movie.Here is my question: When you scrape the Hollywood glitter off these people and see them real, was their resourcefulness an expression of exuberant confidence, or was it a product of their abject desperation?Many of you sympathized with the millions of us Texans who shivered in our homes for several days at below-freezing temperatures with no heat, no light, no water and no toilets.I drilled numerous yellow holes in the snow.No electricity means no hot meals, and in southern states like Texas, icy streets mean no deliveries, no fire trucks, no ambulances, and no police. Even the grocery stores were closed.The hospital nearest our home was evacuated.When Pennie and I had been without water for 3 days, the ex-governor who presided over the deregulation of energy in Texas (and dismantled the regulations that would have insured the consistent delivery of water and electricity in our state,) called a press conference to proudly announce that Texans would gladly, “be without electricity for longer than three days to keep the federal government out of their business.”Now there is a man who has watched one-too-many John Wayne movies.And then there is the senator from Texas who decided that, “to be a good Dad,” he was going to hop on a jet and find some comfort at The Four Seasons in sunny Cancun, Mexico. But I can make room for that. I don’t really blame him for it. If I wasn’t concerned about Covid, I might have done it myself.The “John Wayne” part of that story is that he flew to Cancun with a mask on his face displaying the image of an old Texas flag from our pre-statehood years. That flag shows the star of Texas with a big cannon and the words, “Come and Take It.”In 1835, when European settlers revolted against the government of Mexico, they got control of a cannon in a border town, then flew a flag with a drawing of that cannon and added the words, “Come and Take it.”Basically, they were just flipping the bird to the Mexicans.But why – 186 years later – would a person flaunt a symbol that insults Mexicans while escaping TO MEXICO to get away from 3rd world conditions back home?One-too-many John Wayne movies, that’s why.Born in Texas and raised in the dangerous part of an Oklahoma town, I am no stranger to violence. My willingness to embrace it when it presents itself is alarming to most of my friends. So please don’t think you can write me off as an effete little man who needs to be sheltered from the harsh realities of life.I have all this on my mind today because of a quote in the February 15th Monday Morning Memo from John McCain, a man who was everything Marion Morrison pretended to be.“War is awful. Nothing, not the valor with which it is fought nor the nobility of the cause it serves, can glorify war. War is wretched beyond description and only a fool or a fraud could sentimentalize its cruel reality. Whatever is won in war, it is loss the veteran remembers.” – John McCainMcCain’s statement has been rattling around in my head for the past two weeks. I agree with him completely; there is nothing glorious, nothing honorable, nothing virtuous about hardship, pain, and suffering. “Only a fool or a fraud could sentimentalize its cruel reality.”Men who have been engaged in face-to-face, mortal combat almost never spout tough-guy platitudes. They leave the swaggering talk to those posturing, posing men who have watched one-too-many John Wayne movies.Roy H. Williams

They did not do it because they thought it would be funny. Four members of the Jamaica Defense Force did it as a statement of pride and determination.Dudley Stokes, Devon Harris, Michael White and Caswell Allen traveled from their tropical island to snowy Canada hoping to make it into the 1988 Winter Olympics.Miraculously, they qualified.When Caswell Allen was injured 3 days prior to the start of the Olympics, he was replaced by Chris Stokes, who was only in Canada to support his brother Dudley.Smaller than the state of Connecticut, Jamaica is not a wealthy island. The men had to appeal to other teams for basic equipment in order to compete.  But as the Olympics are forever a celebration of global cooperation, the other nations were happy to loan them what they needed.When the United States ice hockey team was eliminated, American TV stations needed to fill airtime and chose to focus on the Jamaican bobsled team.“Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, its bobsled time! Cool runnings!”The first run ended poorly when Dudley Stokes jumped into the bobsled and the push-bar broke, resulting in the Jamaican team coming in third from last.The team ranked next-to-last on their second run due to White remaining nearly upright through the first corner as he struggled to crouch down properly in his seat.After a blistering fast start on their third run, the Jamaican bobsled careened into the wall of the track and flipped over on top of the team at 85 miles per hour. Bruised and battered, the four men climbed out, walked with the bobsled to the end of the track, then picked it up and carried it off.The crowd went wild.Did the Jamaican team call it quits? No, they did not.The four qualified again for the 1992 Winter Olympics in Albertville, France. The following year, Disney released Cool Runnings, a comedy film inspired by the team’s experience in the 1988 Games.In the 1994 Olympics* in Lillehammer, Norway, the four Jamaicans finished ahead of the United States, Russia, Italy, France and Australia.At the 2000 World Push in Monaco the Jamaican team won the gold medal.You will never become good at something unless you are willing to be bad at first. But if you stay with it, things will be fine in the end.If things aren’t fine, it’s not the end.Roy H. Williams*In case you were wondering why we had Winter Olympics in 1992 and again just 2 years later in 1994, it was because the International Olympic Commission decided to separate the Summer and Winter Games and place them in alternating even-numbered years. 1994 was the year that decision was implemented.

“Giving a microphone to every human being is the worst mistake we have made in human history.”ME: Are you saying social media was a mistake?“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” ­– Dale CarnegieME: But doesn’t everyone deserve to be heard?“Every man has a right to his own opinion. But no man has a right to be wrong in his facts.” – Bernard BaruchME: We seem to be at war with ourselves.“War is awful. Nothing, not the valor with which it is fought nor the nobility of the cause it serves, can glorify war. War is wretched beyond description and only a fool or a fraud could sentimentalize its cruel reality. Whatever is won in war, it is loss the veteran remembers.” – John McCainME: But we’re waging a war of words, not blood!“But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and those things defile a man.” – Jesus, in Matthew 15ME: Can’t we just listen to the good people and ignore the bad?“Men who believe themselves to be good, who do not search their own souls, often commit the worst atrocities. A man who sees himself as evil will restrain himself. It is only when we do evil in the belief that we do good that we pursue it wholeheartedly.” – David FarlandME: I agree with that, especially the part about searching our own souls. When I see a person of real character, I always want to ask, “What darkness did you conquer?” Mountains do not rise without earthquakes.“Hard times create strong men.Strong men create good times.Good times create weak men.And weak men create hard times.”― G. Michael HopfME: Are you saying we brought this social storm upon ourselves through our own weakness and self-indulgence?“You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice.” ­– Steven DennME: Will we ever quit making the old mistakes?“No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them.” – Solomon, Ecclesiastes ch. 1ME: Based on what you said earlier, if these are the hard times created by weak people, is the next phase when we become strong people that create good times?“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else” – Winston ChurchillME: What should I do while I wait for all this social rage and weirdness to become less angry and weird?“Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do… Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love…” – Solomon, Ecclesiastes ch. 9ME: Sounds good to me.Roy H. Williams

We were sitting in my backyard sharing a $600 bottle of wine he had brought.He said, “I got all 250 of my employees together on a Zoom call and told them, ‘You can disagree passionately and share your opinion while we are in the discussion phase, but when a decision has been made, you need to commit to the successful implementation of that decision as though it had been your own. To disagree and work half-heartedly and receive a paycheck is not an option. To disagree and covertly sabotage the plan and receive a paycheck is not an option. To disagree and whisper behind closed doors and receive a paycheck is not an option. You can either recuse yourself by turning in your resignation, or you can disagree and commit. Those are your options.’”My friend is strong, fair, and a marvelous employer. I have always admired him. Raised in a family with no money, he became stunningly successful by the time he was 40.That conversation with my friend is what triggered last week’s Monday Morning Memo about “Those Glorious Creative Handcuffs.”Ad writers like myself always believe we have the best answers and that people should listen to what we say. “But…” I tell my partners, “your client didn’t hire you to be CEO. They hired you to make their plan work. If you believe you can improve their plan, you need to communicate what you would change, why you would change it, and how you would implement that change. But once you’ve had your day in court, your job is to make their plan succeed brilliantly, even if it’s stupid.”In 40 years of ad-writing I’ve chosen to walk away only twice. In both instances I knew the only way the decided-upon plan could end was with a large, smoking hole in the earth where their successful company used to be. In both of those cases I was right. In every other instance, “Those Glorious Creative Handcuffs” clamped on my wrists triggered some of the best creative work I’ve ever done.“Disagree and Commit” works miraculously well, but only if you wash the memory of your ‘better plan’ from your mind. Never speak of it again. Never think about it again. When you’ve had your day in court, commit to the plan and make it a point of honor to make that plan succeed.And then celebrate, celebrate, celebrate when it does.This will make you a person that every employer wants to hire, and every brilliant person wants on their team.Roy H. Williams

If one were to assume that a blank sheet of paper – complete freedom – is the best way to coax maximum creativity from the human mind, one would be wrong.The highest levels of creativity are launched from the tightest constraints.Consider this request made a couple of weeks ago by a student in our monthly webcast.Hi Roy, I work with a micro-distillery in our province who recently developed a lower-priced brand of affordable liquor. It is called: lōk(ə)l and they spell it phonetically, with a k and a schwa. (ə)They make vodka, gin and schnapps packaged in plastic bottles. How can we advertise this on the radio to get people to look for the right product?  Not to mention there is some muddiness marketing “local” when everyone is jumping on the “shop local” train… there is even another alcohol beverage called Local with a similar style.Thanks for all your help.Let’s examine our creative restraints and limitations:Plastic bottles shout “cheap.”“Locally-produced vodka” is not a strong selling proposition.“Local” is an overused generic descriptive, but we’re stuck with it as a name.A competing product has the same name, but with the correct spelling.If we cannot differentiate our brand, our radio ads are likely to sell the products of companies other than our own.Bottom line: lōk(ə)l vodka is memorable only because it is spelled with a k.These are the creative handcuffs we wear as we write a series of 30-second radio ads in an effort to give this brand a personality that says something other than “cheap generic vodka.”Are you ready to ride?Lokal vodka is NOT low-cal, low calorie, lightweight vodka. You’re thinking of a different brand. Lokal-with-a-K is full-bodied, genuine, authentic vodka made right here in Saskatchewan. Vodka is spelled with a K, not a C. Lokal-with-a-K is old-school vodka, the kind that will kick your ass if you drink too much of it. We also make gin and schnapps. This stuff is fabulous, but to make it affordable we put it in plastic bottles, ’kay? Lokal-with-a-K is available in every store that has good taste.AD 2:Lokal-with-a-K vodka is made right here in Saskatchewan, which also has a K. And Vodka is spelled with a K, so we spell Lokal with a K. You say, “Hey, you also make gin and schnapps and they don’t have a K.” But in THIS deck of cards, Vodka is KING, Schnapps is QUEEN, Gin is the JOKER and the joker is wild. Drink has a K.  Kick has TWO K’s, but Compromise is spelled with a “C.” Lokal-with-a-K is fabulous, but to make it affordable we put it in plastic bottles, ’kay? Lokal-with-a-K is available in every store that has good taste.AD 3:Lokal-with-a-K vodka is made right here in Saskatchewan, and because you love it, we’re now making it with extra K. We also put extra K in our gin and schnapps. Vodka is KING, Schnapps is QUEEN, Gin is the JOKER and the joker is wild. With these three in your hand, you’re on your way to a Full House. Drink has a K.  Kick has TWO K’s, but Compromise is spelled with a “C.” We don’t compromise. Neither should you. Lokal-with-a-K is available in every store that has good taste.By the time we get to the third ad, this campaign is promising wild parties in a full house of people where everyone gets their kicks. Did you notice?Incongruities, anomalies, gaps and disturbances naturally attract attention. Learn to leverage them as memory hooks.What if we were asked to differentiate that other brand of vodka, LoCal?Let’s ride again, shall we?Vodka is clean, pure, and colorless… Like diamonds… And sunlight… And the music of angels. But it will also make you FAT and we don’t want THAT. My vodka is Local vodka. At least that’s how most people pronounce it. Look closely and you’ll see that it actually says Low-CAL… Low-CAL. Lo-Cal vodka won’t give you a fat ass. Lo-Cal vodka is diamonds, and sunlight, and the music of angels. [pause] It comes in a small, tight can. Because isn’t that really what we’re after?AD 2:I don’t want to drink wide-bottom vodka. You don’t want to drink wide-bottom vodka. We want the low-CAL vodka that tastes like diamonds… and sunlight… and the music of angels… all of which, by the way, are also low in calories! This heavenly designer vodka is cleverly disguised as, quote, “local” vodka. But look closely and you’ll see it says, Lo-CAL. You’ll spot it immediately. [pause] It comes in a small, tight can. Because isn’t that really what we’re after?AD 3:Pour it into a glass and you’ll see diamonds, and sunlight, and the music of angels. Lift that glass to your lips and you’ll taste diamonds and sunlight and the music of angels. Share it with your boyfriend and he’ll see diamonds and sunlight surrounding an angel. And that angel will be you. Some people call it Local vodka, but look closely and you’ll see that it actually says Low-CAL… Low-CAL. [pause] It comes in a small, tight can. Because isn’t that really what we’re after?When writing ads, don’t worry about what you don’t have. Work with what you do have. And remember: incongruities, anomalies, gaps and disturbances naturally attract attention. Learn to leverage them as memory hooks.Indy Beagle told me to say he’ll meet you in the rabbit hole.Roy H. Williams

I have long been fascinated by twilight. In fact, I often use that word to describe flavors that are complex and muted.But what is twilight, really?“Twilight is the illumination of the lower atmosphere when the Sun is not directly visible because it is below the horizon. Twilight is produced by sunlight scattering in the upper atmosphere, illuminating the lower atmosphere so that Earth’s surface is neither completely lit nor completely dark.” – WIKIPEDIATwilight lasts only about 20 minutes.“There is a brief time, between waking and sleep, when reality begins to warp. Rigid conscious thought starts to dissolve into the gently lapping waves of early stage dreaming and the world becomes a little more hallucinatory, your thoughts a little more untethered. Known as the hypnagogic state…”– Vaughan Bell, Science Writer, The Atlantic, April 20, 2016I think of this time “when reality begins to warp” as the twilight of consciousness, that time when the subconscious mind takes the intellect for a ride.Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman and Dr. Jerome L. Singer, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Yale University, are studying a different twilight of consciousness. “Daydreaming is a normal, widespread, human phenomenon that people are aware of consciously and can report reliably on questionnaires. Large numbers of people from different walks of society, gender, and ethnicity report considerable daydreaming in their daily lives.”Kaufman and Singer have determined there are three types of daydreaming.1. Positive-Constructive Daydreaming (playful, wishful, constructive imagery)2. Guilty-Dysphoric Daydreaming (obsessive, anguished fantasies)3. Poor Attentional Control (the inability to concentrate on ongoing thought or external tasks)Further study indicated that1. Positive-Constructive daydreaming is related to Openness to Experience, reflecting curiosity, sensitivity, and the exploration of ideas, feelings, and sensations.2. Guilty-Dysphoric daydreaming is related to Neuroticism.3. Poor Attentional Control is related to low levels of Conscientiousness Current neuroimaging research supports Singer’s idea that daydreaming is the default state of the human mind.Your daydreams are the voice of your powerful subconscious as it tries to assist your conscious mind. When your subconscious mind and your conscious mind are working together to achieve a common goal, you can believe that it will happen.So, if our daydreams are the voice of the subconscious mind and we want our daydreams to be Positive-Constructive, how can we fill our subconscious with productive, helpful, happy images?Two thousand years ago, we were given this advice:“Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body is full of darkness. See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness.” *If I were to translate this to the language of the 21st century, I would say,“If you turn your attention to good things, your mind will shine. But if you turn your attention to dark thoughts, your mind will be full of darkness. So pay attention, then, or you will find yourself full of darkness.”You have the power to turn your attention wherever you will. Aim it at productive, helpful, happy things. Don’t obsess over problems. Focus your attention on solutions. Not just solutions for the problems you’re currently facing, but solutions in general.Stories of problems solved are, by definition, stories with happy endings.Don’t worry. Be happy.Roy H. Williams*The Good News of Luke, chap 11:34-35

The 2021 we’ve been waiting for has not yet begun.I was reminded of this when I received a meme from a friend. It said, “Omg, what’s the first thing you’re gonna do when YOU get the vaccine shot?? You’re gonna go back home, wait a month, get your second shot, go back home, wait 14 days for antibodies, then keep wearing a mask and social distancing until community transmission reduction. That’s what.”When it finally gets here, the 2021 we’ve been waiting for will be different than 2020, but in what way, I cannot say.Many of us made adjustments in 2020:Working from home replaced going to the office.Online meetings replaced face-to-face meetings.Home delivery replaced driving to the store.Fancy meals at home replaced eating out.Will some of these adjustments stay with us?And if so, to what degree and among how many people?The Bounce:There will doubtless be a pent-up demand for travel. Will we resume traveling as we did before, or will some of us be reluctant? How high will our travel-hunger bounce the airlines, the cruise ships, and the hotels? And how long will this bounce last?Our hunger for the hospitality of restaurants, cafes and bars will doubtless shoot those businesses to new heights, but how long will this bounce last? Will home delivery of products, groceries and meals continue at dramatically high levels, or will it fall back to where it was before, or will it land somewhere in-between?Unable to spend our money on vacations, travel, and fine dining in 2020, we showered jewelry stores and home service businesses with fountains of cash. Will this trend continue, or will we redirect these fountains of affection onto new categories of purchase?I honestly do not know.The only prediction I am prepared to make is that a lot of office space is going to remain empty.Day after day I speak with employers who rave with delight about the productivity of their people working from home. Without exception, every one of them has told me they do not plan to renew the lease on their office space. A number of these employers previously housed more than 500 office workers each.That’s a lot of office space.As a boy, I was friendly with a number of adults who had lived through the Great Depression. Thirty years after the Depression was over, those people continued to bear its marks.How many of us will bear the marks of the 2020 lockdown long after Covid-19 has been tamed? We can only guess. But the events of 2020 will affect consumer behavior for many years to come.It will be a fascinating – and important – thing to watch.Roy H. Williams

We live in a nation that has mistaken pleasure for happiness.Pleasure can be pursued directly, but not happiness.Think of the times you have felt truly happy. In each of those moments, you were feeling grateful for something; a special moment with a special person, a beautiful sunset, the arrival of good news…Happiness is the warm glow of gratitude, and the happiest people in the world are those who have learned to celebrate the ordinary.“Lasting happiness starts with one question… what can I celebrate?”– Michael Beckwith“Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate!”– Dewey Jenkins“Happiness, not in another place but this place… not for another hour, but this hour.”– Walt WhitmanAre you old enough to remember Zig Ziglar? He was constantly talking about maintaining “an attitude of gratitude.”Take a moment to write down 5 things for which you are grateful. Then take another moment to realize that each of those things makes you happy.Right now I’m celebrating Aaron and Kelsie Kleinmeyer of Kansas City. They are in the process of building America’s second free wedding chapel, and the remarkable part is that they are doing it on their salaries as schoolteachers!Did you read what Manley Miller wrote in the rabbit hole last week about passion?“We use the English word ‘passion’ to describe a love for something, or a deep inner drive. ‘I have a passion for cooking,’ or ‘I have a passion for fishing,’ or ‘I have a passion for football,’ or whatever. But passion is a word borrowed from the French ‘pation.’ The root of the word is ‘patior,’ a Latin word that means ‘a willingness to suffer.'”“Feelings follow actions. When you commit to something, what you’re saying is, ‘Even if this gets hard, I’m going to keep on doing it. Even if this causes me pain and suffering, I’m going to keep on doing this.’ That’s why the last week of Jesus’s life is called the Passion Week. It’s not because everything was warm and fuzzy and lovey-dovey, but because it was a week of suffering. Jesus was fully committed to pay the price of reconciling us back to God. He decided in advance that our lives were worth his suffering.”1. Pleasure is easily purchased, but pleasure is not happiness.2. Happiness is the warm glow of gratitude.3. Passion is happiness taken to the next level.Aaron and Kelsie have a genuine passion about marriage. They are willing to sacrifice so that other couples can have a beautiful place to get married. Their little chapel on the prairie is a gift of love to thousands of couples they’ve never met.To receive with gratitude brings happiness.But to give with joy requires passion, the most intense happiness of all.Didn’t someone once say, “It is happier to give than to receive,” or something like that?Roy H. Williams

INDY BEAGLE’S DAY OFFA Story by Indy Beagle, Written in 3 ChaptersCHAPTER ONESpraytan and Boxwine arrived in a white Cadillac convertible fringed in blondes.Boxwine slid out the passenger door and reached for the nozzle while I was filling up my new Hudson pickup on the other side of the pump.I gave him a steady stare. “What have you done?”“We’re headed to the lake. Wanna come? You can bring all your little cartoon friends.”I glanced at the white Caddy. “Nice car. I noticed it on the lot at Baddley Brothers.”Boxwine showed me every tooth in his mouth. “Me and Spray are takin’ it for a test drive.”“Do the brothers know?”Boxwine looked at my Hudson. “Did that ol’ skinflint wizard really give you that truck for Christmas?”I nodded.“Is it real, or did he just conjure it?”“He’s not that kind of wizard.”“What kind is he?”“A Wizard of Ads.”“Hell. Advertising ain’t nothin’ but tellin’ lies with a smile.”“Boxwine, if that were true, you’d be the greatest ad-man on earth.”He placed his cap over his heart and said, “Ratdog, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”I heard Floyd’s feet hit the pavement and then the Hudson door opened behind me.Great. A muppet and a hula girl were going to defend my honor.Aloha spoke first. “Hey girls!”The blonde sitting next to Spraytan asked, “Are you really a hula dancer?”Aloha went into hula mode and the Cadillac girls responded with admiration.“Hop out and I’ll show you how to do it!”The white Caddy rose up 5 inches when the 7 blondes jumped out.Floyd had already retuned his guitar to make it sound like a ukulele and the ballerinas, Bali and Ha’i, were flanking Aloha when the blondes arrived on our side of the gas pump. And then the light show began. Red and blue Christmas lights twinkled from the tops of 3 police cars as they slid to a stop on each side of the white convertible.Lieutenant Bascom waited until the dance was over before he pulled the trigger on his bullhorn. “Boxwine! Spraytan! You boys kiss the asphalt!”While the boys were lying on their bellies sniffing exhaust fumes and motor oil, waiting to get cuffed and scuffed, Floyd beamed his best muppet smile and said, “Bali, Ha’i, and Aloha are riding up front with Indy, but you’re welcome to hop in back with me.”Hudson pickups have better suspension than Cad convertibles. Loaded with 7 blondes and a muppet, my truck dipped only an inch and a half. I twisted the key and the exhaust pipe pitched a perfect C major, accompanied by the voice of Aloha, “Ladies and gentlemen, if you haven’t already done so, please stow your carry-on luggage underneath the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin. Please take your seat and fasten your seat belt. And also make sure your seat back and folding trays are in their full, upright position.”Floyd slapped the top of the cab with an open palm and shouted, “To the lake!” and was immediately echoed by ten females calling in unison, “To the lake!”As I pulled away, Floyd began singing an old Johnny Cash song, “I hear the train a coming, it’s rolling around the bend, and I ain’t seen the sunshine, since… I don’t know when…. I’m stuck in Folsom Prison, and time keeps dragging on.”We were halfway to the lake when I asked, “Where’s Alfie?”Aloha said, “When Floyd jumped out of the truck, Alfie jumped into the glove box.”Ha’i raised her hand and twittered, “And then I locked it.”I sighed and unlocked the glove box. Alfie was blushing all the way to the tips of his pointed ears.Raised in the harmony of Santa’s workshop, elves have no idea how to handle confrontation.– Indy Beagle

Reading the title of this essay, “What Would You Have Me Do?” might cause you to imagine me defending myself, saying in effect, “I had no choice.”But I want you to hear those words in an entirely different tone of voice.“What would you have me do?” is a quiet question that I often ask God when I am feeling conflicted or uncertain. I cannot not say I always feel him guiding my heart in answer to my question, but I can say that I always feel better for having asked.I have never “not believed” in God. In my private, inner world, faith is not a matter of logic or evidence. I never try to “prove” the existence of God, but if you will indulge me, I will share a pivotal, personal story of when I felt he answered my question, “What will you have me do?”My only intention is to encourage you. Like faith, encouragement is not logical. It is simply a warm light that can brighten a private, inner world.It was 1977. Pennie and I had been married less than a year and we were trying to figure out what to do with our lives. I was working for $3.35 an hour in a steel fabrication shop, cutting, welding, grinding, and pressure-testing gigantic heat exchangers to be fitted on oil wells. With hammers pounding on metal, grinders showering you with sparks, and the acrid smell of welding fumes burning your nose, a steel shop is the perfect place to develop your private, inner world.One morning I slipped into a bathroom stall at work, but not because I needed to go to the bathroom. I lowered the deck on the toilet, locked the door and sat down to talk to God. “What would you have me do? If you tell me, I’ll do it. And I know you can get a message through to me because you’re God, right? And one more thing. I know you hear me, and I know you’re not going to forget that I asked, so I don’t plan on bugging you about this. I trust you’ll tell me when you’re ready. Amen.”I stood up and unlocked the door just as the buzzer announced it was break time. Walking out into the 45,000 square foot work floor, I was scanning the tops of all the tool cabinets for my coffee cup. Having said everything that I needed to say to God, my only thought was to grab a cup of coffee.The thing that happened next is difficult to describe, but I’ll do my best.All at once, and very unexpectedly, I knew exactly what I was supposed to do, and it startled me. I didn’t see anything or hear anything, but my surprise was exactly as though I had looked across the floor and seen myself pull a message from a letter pouch and hold it out for someone to take.This knowledge, or awareness, or whatever you want to call it, was altogether different than anything I had ever experienced. Without seeing a sight or hearing a sound, I felt just as certain – and was every bit as surprised – as if I had seen a person and heard a voice.I walked over to the time clock, grabbed my timecard, clocked out, got in my car and drove to the Federal Building in downtown Tulsa where I presented myself to a weary woman sitting at a desk. “I’m here to become a postman,” I said, and then I told her the story I just told you.When I left, the woman was no longer looking weary. She was surprised, befuddled, and contemplative. I think she was struggling to decide whether I was delusional, or if it was remotely possible that what I was telling her might be true.I lived in a continual state of excitement for the next two days, but when I quieted my heart to continue my conversation with God in that private, inner world, I realized that I wasn’t supposed to work for the United States Postal Service, but that I was to deliver messages of a different sort.On my lunch break that day, I drove back to the Federal Building, found that same woman, and gave her the rest of the story. When I left, she looked even more surprised, befuddled, and contemplative than before.Next, I rented an announce-only answering machine from the telephone company, had an extra telephone line installed in our apartment, and began writing and recording a new message of encouragement each day, 7 days a week. I placed little classified ads in all the free newspapers that were distributed in little wire stands outside the convenience stores and laundromats.“Take a break in your day. DAYBREAK. 258-7700”No one knew who was recording these messages or why, but within a few months the little counter in the machine indicated I was getting more than 200 calls a day. And every time I heard that tape rewind, it would usually be less than a minute before the little red light indicated that another call was coming through. When I did the math and saw that a 3-minute message playing 200 times tied up the phone line for 10 hours each day, I realized a lot of people must be getting a busy signal. So I rented a second announce-only machine and installed a second phone line.At the end of two years, having written and recorded more than 700 different messages, I needed a part-time job to help pay for it all. So I took a job at a radio station working from 11PM on Friday night to 10AM on Saturday morning. This earned me 27 dollars a week after taxes, which was almost exactly what I needed to pay for the phone lines and the rented equipment. I had no visions of a career as a radio announcer. I just needed some money to pay for DAYBREAK.One Saturday morning a sales rep asked if I’d be willing to write some ads while I monitored our semi-automated broadcast booth during the middle of the night. He didn’t know that I had been spending two hours a day for more than 700 days writing messages to make people think and feel differently.Son-of-gun. My ads were working wonders! Now everyone wanted me to write ads for their clients. The general manager, however, decided the smarter play was to offer me a job as an account executive.The recorded daily messages later became a faxed Memo sent once a week in the early hours of Monday Morning. And then along came the internet.In 1998 Bard Press took 100 of those Memos and made them into The Wizard of Ads. Another 100 Memos became Secret Formulas of the Wizard of Ads and a third 100 became Magical Worlds of the Wizard of Ads. And then Pennie decided we should build a campus where people could clear their heads and receive encouragement and instruction.No goals. No grand plan. Just adapt and improvise, adapt and improvise. In the words of Teddy Roosevelt, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”So now you now.Roy H. Williams