Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

Our song began in 1971 when Hunter S. Thompson wrote about the end of the 60s.He may as well have been writing about the end of a love affair.“We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark – that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”You are free to use – or not use – words and phrases from that sad soliloquy at the end of a dream. But the song lyrics you are going to write won’t be about the end of the 60s. You are going to write a song about the end of a love affair.Another group of possible words and phrases you might use popped into my head during a business trip to Las Vegas in 2010. I was passing through the casino as I headed back to my room after speaking to an auditorium full of strangers when I saw a pattern, thought a thought, and wrote it down before I fell asleep.“Girls in black spandex pants, high-heeled boots and baggy leather coats punctuate Las Vegas. Vodka fumes trail like invisible puppies as they pass the dead-eyed, spent ones going through the motions of having fun without having any of it.”But the most important part of this song that you – yes, you – are going to assemble from bits and pieces of these shattered memories will be the phrase that Brad Whittington scribbled down in 2012 as he was driving past the Mean-Eyed Cat, a famous dive bar.“You’re just the one she hasn’t left yet.”That’s the hook, the recurrent chorus. “You’re just the one she hasn’t left yet,” will show up repeatedly as you write this song that some lucky singer is going to make famous. That singer will tour and sell T-shirts and sign autographs and be famous. But you and me and Brad are going to reach into our mailboxes and pull-out handfuls of songwriting royalties.Did you know that singers and their bands get zero money when their songs play on the radio? The only people who make money from airplay are the songwriters.That’s going to be you and me and Brad.Bernie Taupin doesn’t sing or play an instrument, but he has collected more than 70 million dollars in royalties from the lyrics of songs that play on the radio each day.Brad and I feel the musicians and singers should get some money, too, but that’s not how the system works. Oh, well. Maybe they’ll get rich selling concert tickets and T-shirts.Or maybe they should learn to write song lyrics.To submit your song, all you have to do is follow these simple steps:Don’t worry about whether your song lyrics make sense. You’re not writing an essay full of facts. You’re writing a song full of feelings.Your song lyrics will need to have poetic meter, those wonderful rhythms created by the stressed and unstressed syllables of spoken words.You must repeatedly use the phrase, “You’re just the one she hasn’t left yet,” and you have to use a few of the words and phrases contributed by Hunter S. Thompson and me. You can decide which phrases you will use, and you are free to add words and phrases of your own, of course.Your song can be Rock, Yacht Rock, Folk, Country, Western Swing, Opera, R & B, Rap, Hip-Hop, Bluegrass, or some musical genre I’ve never heard of. Brad and I don’t care and Hunter S most certainly doesn’t.You have to send your lyrics and an MP3 recording of your song, with or without musical accompaniment, to indy@wizardofads.com before midnight Sunday, April 30, 2023.There is a distinct chance that no one will ever hear your song except for Indy Beagle and Brad and me. But we are all going to have a wonderful time and that’s something in itself, don’t you think?Yes, I was serious about sending us a recording. We need to hear the rhythm and tempo and melody that you hear in your mind. You don’t need to write the music, you just need to sing it or have someone else sing it for you.No one cares that you can’t sing. This isn’t about the quality of your singing. It’s about the lyrics and rhythm and melody you hear in your head. Someone has to sing your song lyrics and send it as an MP3 along with your lyrics in a Word doc. You will list the copyrights as belonging to yourself, Brad Whittington, and Roy H. Williams.When you submit your song, don’t tell us the story behind the story. Your song has to speak for itself. Your lyrics need to break hearts, bring tears, and cause people to have vivid memories of things that never happened. It’s not about you. It’s about the listener.Twelve or fifteen of the best song lyrics and recordings will appear in the rabbit hole and a full-color, hardback Chatbook of those songs will be made and sent to each of the twelve or fifteen people whose work appears in it.Welcome to the big leagues. You’ll find additional instruction and inspiration in today’s rabbit hole. Indy Beagle will tell you how to get there.Now as Barry White would say, “Write on, write on, write on.”Roy H. WilliamsNOTE FROM INDY: If you’re listening to the audio version of this memo, you’re going to have to go to MondayMorningMemo.com if you want to enter the rabbit hole. When you have arrived at MondayMorningMemo.com, look in the archives for the MondayMorningMemo for March 6, 2023. Open it, then click the photo of the Mean-Eyed Cat at the top of the page. That will take you to page one of the rabbit hole. Each click of an image in the rabbit hole will take you one page deeper. Hang on, it’s going to be a wild ride. – Indy BeagleWizard Academy alumnus Matt Mason has some profound thoughts on Disneyland, midlife, and churros. Matt, who since 2019 has served as the official state poet of Nebraska, is hoping that those and other introspections he shares in his latest book of poetry will touch readers and help fuel his ambition to earn a living writing, performing, and teaching poetry to a corporate audience. Turning a passion into a business is never easy, but Matt believes he can make it happen. This week, on a return visit with roving reporter Rotbart, Matt shares how he plans to land this rocket on the moon! Keep your eyes on the sky and your ears on MondayMorningRadio.com

You believe in a lot of things. But what do you believe in the most?Go into the quiet security of your mind, and you will know that you value one of these more highly than the other four.GovernmentBusinessScienceFamilyDeity“American rates of religious affiliation have plummeted to their lowest point in the past 73 years. And nowhere are they lower than in knowledge-industry hubs like Silicon Valley, where high-skilled jobs are growing the fastest. If religion is in decline, I wondered, then what are Americans worshiping now? What has become our new religion? For many professionals, the answer is work. Work provides the identity, belonging, meaning and purpose that faith traditions once did.”– Carolyn Chen, NY Times, June 4, 2022“For thousands of years, our ancestors gazed at the world around us—the people and animals, the mountains and seas, the sun, moon and stars—and saw the divine. As the 19th Psalm puts it, ‘The heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament shows his handiwork.’ Even Isaac Newton saw a universe filled with purpose. In his masterwork, the Principia, he wrote: ‘This most beautiful system of the sun, planets, and comets, could only proceed from the counsel and dominion of an intelligent and powerful being.’ Science advanced by leaps and bounds in the centuries following Newton, and scientists dialed back much of the God-talk. Many thinkers suggested that the universe runs like a mighty clockwork. Perhaps a creator was needed at the beginning, to set it going, but surely it now runs on its own. Einstein, who often spoke of God metaphorically, took a different tack. He rejected a personal deity, but saw a kind of pantheism—roughly, the identification of God with nature—as plausible.”– Dan Falk, Scientific American, July 27, 20211. Where do you place your highest confidence? Is it government?At one end of this spectrum, Communism believes that citizens should collectively own the means of production, distribution, and exchange which allocates products to everyone in the society. Karl Marx proposed a classless society in which everything would be shared by everyone.At the other end of the spectrum, Libertarianism says, “We, the members of the Libertarian Party, challenge the cult of the omnipotent state and defend the rights of the individual.” [LP.org) Ayn Rand famously proposed, “If government would just get out of the way, individual self-interest would create a better society!”To have confidence in government – or in the absence of government – is to believe in people. To have faith in people is Humanism. Is that where you have put your faith?2. Where do you place your highest confidence? Is it business, capitalism, free enterprise?“People create value and do good things when they have a profit motive.”“Capitalism creates jobs and provides a better lifestyle for everyone who participates. It is a virtuous cycle.”“Business people are problem solvers.”3. Where do you place your highest confidence? Is it science, medicine, technology?J.G. Ballard was enthusiastic about living in a technological society. He said, “Science and technology multiply around us. To an increasing extent they dictate the languages in which we speak and think. Either we use those languages, or we remain mute.”Napoleon Hill echoed J.G. Ballard. “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”But Thomas Schelling, winner of the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences, disagreed with Napoleon Hill, saying, “The one thing a person cannot do, however brilliant they are, is write up a list of things that would never occur to them.”I like Thomas Schelling.Perhaps I am oversimplifying this, but my general feeling is that when we do a thing intuitively, we call it art. When we do it systematically, we call it science. And our love of science seems to be growing exponentially.“We are awash in numbers. Data is everywhere. Old-fashioned things like words are in retreat; numbers are on the rise. Unquantifiable arenas like history, literature, religion and the arts are receding from public life, replaced by technology, statistics, science and math. Even the most elemental form of communication, the story, is being pushed aside by the list. The results are in: The nerds have won. Time to replace those arrows in the talons of the American eagle with pencils and slide rules. We’ve become the United States of Metrics.”– Bruce Feiler, NY Times, May 16, 2014My own opinion echoes that of Tom Robbins, who said, “Romanticism and science are good for each other. The scientist keeps the romantic honest and the romantic keeps the scientist human.”We will now continue our examination of the major categories of Beliefs.4. Where do you place your highest confidence? Is it family, friends, relationships?Robert Frost said, “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, They have to take you in.”Edna Buchanan said, “Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.”Anthony Bourdain advised, “Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride.”Perhaps you feel as Rabbi Jonathan Sacks did. He said, “My life has been made by three or four, maybe half a dozen, friendships with people who believed in me more than I believed in myself.”And of course, we all agree with Kahlil Gibran. “And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live.”5. Where do you place your highest confidence? Is it in God?My friend Akintunde Omitowoju is a programming genius, one of the few in the world who might be in the same inventive class as Steve Wozniak. Akintunde emphatically agrees with A.W. Tozer, who said, “The trustworthiness of God’s behavior is the foundation for all scientific truth.”In the opening chapter of Genesis, the only information we’re given about the creation of our universe is, “God said, ‘Let there be…'” And then God continued to say “Let there be this, and let there be that,” until everything existed that needed to be.Theoretical physicists call that moment The Big Bang. These same theoretical physicists – since the spring of 1995 – have been fascinated with a version of string theory called M-theory. In 2010, Steven Hawking wrote, “M-Theory is the only candidate for a complete theory of the universe.”Michio Kaku believes M-Theory to be, “so concise that its underlying formula would fit on a T-shirt.”In essence, M-theory tells us that Time is made of tiny loops of 6-dimensional energy vibrating at a specific frequency. Likewise, Space, Gravity, Matter, and Light are made of similar loops of energy vibrating at their own, specific frequencies. According to string theorist Brian Greene, these loops of energy are so small that if an atom were enlarged to the size of our solar system – with the sun as the nucleus and Pluto as the nearest orbiting electron – a single loop of energy would be the size of a small tree.Brian Greene calls our universe, “a silent symphony of string.”So if Hawking, Kaku, Greene and all the other string theorists are correct, it seems perfectly reasonable to see our space-time continuum as nothing but the continuing echo of the voice of God.In the first chapter of John’s Good News we read,“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; (the Word) and without him was not anything made that was made…”And then John drops the bombshell:“And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us.” Wow. If this can be believed, the force that went out from God – his Word – continues to vibrate as our space-time continuum.In the 17th chapter of the book of Acts, we read, “In Him we live and move and have our being.”What I have shared with you today is personal. It is not religiosity. It is not codified, step-by-step religion. And it is most certainly not the fearful, angry, anxious posturing of misguided political parties since the First Crusade of 1095.What I have shared is nothing more than my private understanding of the backstory of that person in whom I have placed my faith.Roy H. WilliamsPS – “As a general rule, I would say that human beings never behave more badly toward one another than when they believe they are protecting God.” – Barbara Brown TaylorMichael Kaeding had no idea how to run his family business when his father unexpectedly passed away. “I had no preconceived notion of the way things were supposed to be done,” Michael recalls. “We just started to naively solve problems, and that was the magic.” Today Michael is the CEO of a company that designs, builds, and rents apartments. His naivety allowed him to perfect a process that saves 50% of what other residential developers spend. Listen and be amazed as Michael tells roving reporter Rotbart how he plans to solve America’s housing shortage and affordability crisis. It’s all happening right now at MondayMorningRadio.com

Ten years ago, scientists discovered “a geometric, jewel-like object at the heart of quantum physics.”This jewel-like object is called the amplituhedron (cool name, right?) and it, “dramatically simplifies calculations of particle interactions and challenges the notion that space and time are fundamental components of reality.” *A theoretical physicist at Harvard, Jacob Bourjaily said that when using the amplituhedron, “The degree of efficiency is mind-boggling. You can easily do, on paper, computations that were infeasible even with a computer before.”But that’s enough of that. The real question behind all this is, “What is real?”Questions about the nature of reality, and the reality of nature, that echoed in the hearts and minds of humans for a long, long time.What is Reality? Mathematicians have structured long equations to explain it. Theoretical physicists have developed theories to predict it. Philosophers have made names for themselves by speculating about it.But I’m not asking them.I’m asking you.What are the most real things in your life?Indy Beagle is going to collect your answers and task the Tiny Tribe into using the most beautiful pieces and phrases in song lyrics that he will publish in the rabbit hole a few weeks from now.You can reach Indy at indy@wizardofads.comYour answers don’t need to be scientific, philosophical, or universal.They need only be true… to you.We're looking for that jewel-like object that sparkles in your heart and twinkles in your eyes and glitters on the surface of the sea.The sea is your unconscious mind.We're looking for the song that has not yet been sung.Aroo,Roy H. WilliamsPS – Tom T. Hall said the most real things in his life were, “Little baby ducks, old pickup trucks, slow-moving trains… and rain.”*Natalie WolchoverFour obstacles prevent most people from becoming persuasive communicators, whether in print, in front of an audience, or on video. And those obstacles are SNEAKY obstacles. That’s the conclusion of Michelle Gladieux (Glad-ee-oh), a communication consultant with 18 years of experience teaching at the highest levels. “The ability to dazzle an audience is far more accessible than most people believe,” Michelle tells roving reporter Rotbart, “but you’ll need to take some uncomfortable risks to succeed.” Are you willing to risk a few minutes to elevate your speaking abilities by several notches? All aboard! It’s time for MondayMorningRadio.com

CHAPTER ONE:We assume that every plumber can plumb, right?We assume that any A/C company can make the house warm in winter, cool in summer.We assume that every jeweler can sell us a diamond, and a lawyer must know the law, or he wouldn’t have a license to practice.So how do we choose who to use?“In the 1950s, consumer packaged goods companies like Procter and Gamble, General Foods and Unilever developed the discipline of brand management – or marketing as we know it today – when they noticed the quality levels of products being offered by competitors begin to improve. A brand manager would be responsible for giving a product an identity that distinguished it from nearly indistinguishable competitors“– “How Brands Were Born: A Brief History of Modern Marketing,” a story in The Atlantic, 2011We choose the name we think of first and feel the best about. When no such name springs to mind, we type our problem into Google and a thundering horde of names appears.How often is your name the one that is clicked?When the customer types their problem into Google instead of typing your name, you get a high-cost, low-CAP click. [Conversion, Average sale, Profit margin] When the customer types your name, you get a low-cost, high-CAP click.Most ads communicate information, but good ads build relationship. You want yours to be the name they think of first and feel the best about.You want them to type your name into Google.Boring ads are about you and your company. Exciting ads are about the customer. Show them a movie on the visuospatial sketchpad of Working Memory, the movie screen of the mind!You can do this. Use your words. Use mass media.CHAPTER TWO:Most ads are not written to persuade. They are written not to offend.(Read more about this in today’s rabbit hole.)This is why most ads are flaccid, impotent, and ignored.EXAMPLE: a few of you mentally raised your eyebrows at the words flaccid and impotent. You would tell me those words should be changed. Perhaps I should shorten it to say, ‘This is why most ads are ignored,’ or soften it further by saying, ‘This is why some ads are less effective than they might have been.”It is never wise to willfully insult a person, but the risk of insult is the price of clarity.When asked to look at a piece of ad copy, well-meaning people instinctively scan it for images, ideas, and language that might be softened.Effective ads do not hit softly.Effective ads have impact. They challenge your previously held beliefs and send thousands of gallons of water spewing into the air when they knock down a fire hydrant while attempting to parallel park. Fleeing the scene, they almost run over a little dog. An old lady with a funny hat thrashes the air with her walking stick and shouts old-lady curses. We are glad the little dog is okay.CHAPTER THREEThe role of Human Resources and Public Relations is to broker a lasting peace.In their world, harmony and empowerment and inclusiveness are the rule.To allow the people under their care to be criticized and disparaged is unthinkable.They seek peace, harmony, and happiness for everyone.Social Media marketers live in that world, too.They are doctors and nurses in a beautiful place where people receive the loving attention they deserve.But…The role of the ad writer is to be a warrior.In their world, differentiation and ever-increasing dominance are the rule.To allow the companies under their care to be blurred into their categories is unthinkable.They seek the never-ending growth of their client at the expense of all that client’s competitors.Ad Writers are carnivores in constant danger from other carnivores.They are torn between the T-Rex who is trying to eat them and the peacemaker who wants them to be softer and more inclusive.Duality is a reality.Every objective has its opposite.Every perspective has its opposite.Advertising requires a perspective that is opposite from HR and PR and Social Media.Ask a great ad writer for their advice on HR, PR, or Social Media, and they will guide you into a storm. Their goal is to win attention.Allow HR, PR, and Social Media to give you feedback about your ads and they will guide you away from differentiation, blur you into your category, and make you invisible. Their goal is for everyone to get along.Never ask a plumber to represent you in court.Never ask a lawyer to fix your water leak.Roy H. WilliamsThanks to Ryan Chute for contributing his research into low-CAP and high-CAP keywords.

There are only three reasons to have a list of core values.   1: Inspire and reinforce “on-brand” behavior from employees.   2: Assist in the orientation and onboarding of new hires.   3: Inform investors, customers, and other interested parties of what they can expect from you.PROBLEM: When your core values include aspirational words that describe attributes rather than actions, your core values list will be interpreted differently by different readers, regardless of any clarifying language that might appear beneath the aspirational words.Use descriptions of actionsrather than create a list of attributes.These are a few core valuesthat describe aspirational attributesrather than observable actions:“Transparency”“Integrity”“Quality”“Accountability”“Respect”“Passion”How do you know if a person is transparent, accountable, or passionate?It is hard to know what a person is being, but it is easy to see what they are doing.Actions are easier to recognize than Attributes.This is why lists of attributes rarely ring true in the hearts of employees.When you list aspirational attributes instead of observable actions:Employees aren’t exactly sure what to do.New hires are intimidated and confused.Investors, customers, and other interested parties will not be able to clearly observe your core values manifested through the actions of your people.If your employees do not see your core values modeled by their fellow employees and reinforced by management each day, you don’t have a core values list; you have a wish list, a poster on the wall that will quickly become invisible.An actionable Core Values List will improve your company culture as well as the experience you deliver to your customers.Ray Seggern teaches:Your core values list is the STORY you are telling,the daily experience of your employees determines your CULTURE,and the reactions of your customers will be determined by the EXPERIENCE you give them.If you have a Wish List of aspirational attributes rather than a Core Values List of observable actions, here are a few examples of how attributes can be expressed and described as actions:Rather than say “Transparency,”we might say, “We make only honest and accurate statements about our products.”Rather than say “Integrity,”we might say, “We always follow through on our promises.”Rather than say “Quality,”we might say, “We will only sell products that are expertly manufactured from the finest materials.”Rather than say “Accountability,”we might say, “We never make excuses for our shortcomings or try to shift the blame to others.”Rather than say “Respect,”we might say, “We use courteous language at all times and maintain eye contact when others are speaking.”Rather than say “Passion,”we might say, “We smile and display energy, attention, and enthusiasm at all times.”In conclusion: A core values list, by definition, should contain only your core values. Don’t let it morph into a comprehensive list that feels like a sermon or a pep talk. Short, tight lists work better than long, rambling ones. Your core values list should not exceed 100 words. (The “actions” list in bold letters is 71 words.)Aroo,Roy H. WilliamsDale Carnegie, Earl Nightingale, Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Blaine Oelkers.“Blaine who?” Blaine is not yet as widely known as those other motivational luminaries, but he does have one huge advantage over them; he is alive and inspiring a new generation of businesspeople those other legends did not live to see. Stop, listen, and learn as Blaine Oelkers shares his best life hacks with roving reporter Rotbart, including his proven technique for creating a durable new habit in only 21 seconds. That’s less time than it took you to read this paragraph! The show will begin the moment you arrive at MondayMorningRadio.com

Lately I’ve been trying to explain to uncomprehending faces how the most powerful opening lines are never questions, but statements that trigger more questions than they answer.I am certain those uncomprehending faces are my fault. I fear the idea that I am trying to teach may be bigger than the teacher.I am going to do my best today – one last time – to make it as clear as I can:The job of the opening line is to engage the reader, listener, or viewer.If the opening line doesn’t do it’s job, you risk becoming invisible.If your customer turns their attention away from you, you cease to exist.The most famous opening line in literature is, “Call me Ishmael.” It is a simple 3-word statement, but it triggers the following questions:“Is your name not Ishmael?”“Why are you unwilling to tell us your real name?”“And why did you choose the name ‘Ishmael’.”“Are you hiding from someone?”“And if so, why?”The face on the billboard at the top of this page is a close friend of mine. The billboard contains no company name, no logo, no domain name, and no telephone number. We give you no clue that might allow you to answer the questions that swirl in your mind:“Who is Elmer?”“Why is he coming”“What will he do when he gets here?”“Did su madre really name him Elmer?”As an ad, that billboard, “Elmer is Coming,” is woefully incomplete. In fact, every dilettante in the world of advertising will take great joy in pointing out that “only a moron” would put up such a billboard. It will be the talk of the town.“What a stupid billboard! It doesn’t have a call-to-action and it doesn’t have any contact information or even a logo!”But those billboards are only the opening salvo of an ad campaign that will continue for decades.After 4 weeks, when the city is buzzing with “Who is Elmer?” my friend will introduce himself on the radio and share who he is, where he came from, and what he hopes to do. Everyone who hears those ads will be anxious to tell their friends all about Elmer.What I am describing is not a “unique selling proposition.” It is simply a literary device, an artifact of truth upon which we can build a captivating ad, the beginning of a highly successful ad campaign.You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.Your first impression of Elmer is that he is easy-going and interesting and fun. (All of that is true, by the way.)Both of the examples I gave you earlier were just three words.Are you willing to try your hand at writing a 3-word statement that triggers more questions than it answers?I am not talking about a 3-word caption that needs to be accompanied by an image. “Elmer is Coming” works its magic even without a picture. Likewise, “Call me Ishmael.”Can you write a 3-word statement that triggers more questions than it answers? If your three words make Indy and me to want to know more, Indy said he will publish your name in next week’s rabbit hole.Send your three words to indy@wizardofads.com before midnight Saturday, February 4th.If you see your name in the rabbit hole the following Monday, that means you got an A+.Roy H. Williams

Regardless of our chosen profession, most of us work with Numbers, Facts, Words, and Hands.You’ve probably never thought about it. I certainly hadn’t, until I was talking with my 13-year-old grandson, Gideon, trying to convince him to elevate the quality of books he reads. Gideon is an exceptional storyteller and a surprisingly good actor for his age. Based on his natural proclivities, I am convinced Gideon will someday make his money with words. There are hundreds of ways to do it.I was about to list the careers that depend primarily on a practitioner’s capacity to choose and use precisely the right words when it hit me: every endeavor requires the use of numbers, facts, words, and hands.Career choices fall into one of those four camps.Numbers. Facts. Words. Hands.Arrange those four in the order you prefer to use them. Your order of preference may not correspond with the order of your competence, but it usually does. We get better at the things we prefer, especially when we focus on them.Let’s look at the careers where the language of Numbers stands on tiptoe and shouts “Look at me!”Data scientist, structural engineer, statistician, bookkeeper/accountant/CPA, insurance company actuarial, theoretical physicist, astrophysicist, (pretty much any kind of physicist,) and the list goes on.And in which politesse is the finesse of finicky Facts essential to success?Teacher, lawyer, doctor, policeman, consultant, inventor, and the list goes on.And what pursuits depend on your ability to muster and master Words that tickle the intellect and elevate the ears?Stand-up comedian, ad writer, politician, broadcaster, podcaster, online influencer, reporter, novelist, screenwriter, lyricist, and the list goes on.You didn’t know lyricist could be a career? Bernie Taupin has made more than seventy million dollars writing lyrics for Elton John. Bernie doesn’t write the music. Just the words.Now let’s look at the careers that harness the Hands.Carpenter, plumber, artist, musician, masseuse, electrician, manufacturing technician, butcher, baker, candlestick maker. And the list goes on.No career relies on the use of a single category exclusively, but when you look at a career from a distance, it is easy to see that one of those four is used more often than the other three.I have no idea how you might use this information, but I felt it was an observation worth sharing.One final thought: I have known a lot of people who followed the advice of their guidance counselor and chose a career based on how they scored on a standardized test. Tom was one of those people. Twenty-five years ago, he said,“I scored high on math skills so they convinced me to major in math in college. I graduated and got a job with a bank and was very successful but not happy. Then one day I realized that I hated math and had always hated math and was an idiot for listening to my guidance counselor.”Tom left banking to become an ad writer and became even more successful than he had been as a banker.And Tom was a lot happier, as well.If you took a moment to arrange Numbers, Facts, Words, and Hands in the order of your preference, indy@wizardofads.com would like you to share your list with him, along with anything else you would like to add.I told him you said aroo.He says aroo to you, too.Roy H. WilliamsCompanies are pouring big money into programs that teach “soft skills,” such as employee training, human resources, community outreach, and DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.) But do they get their money’s worth?Jack and Patti Phillips developed a method for determining the return on investment for programs like these and it has become the most-used evaluation system in the world, adopted by 27 governments and three-fourths of the FORTUNE 500! Listen as they explain to roving reporter Rotbart how much easier it is to assess these programs than most owners and executives realize. The time is now. The place is MondayMorningRadio.com

You are rolling down the road when you wonder, “If I turn off the engine and quit burning fuel, how far can I coast?”If your thought was to save fuel, you have made a costly mistake. The fuel you will burn to regain your speed is a lot more fuel than you would have burned to maintain your speed.This isn’t just a common mistake. It is an “extremely very” common mistake.But you were wondering how far you could coast, so I will answer your question, as asked.Your ability to coast will be determined bySpeedMassFrictionGravity (Are you coasting uphill, or down? Anyone can coast downhill in a booming economy.)Advertising is the fuel that energizes your business.Speed of growth is determined by how heavily you have been advertising.Mass is determined by how long you have been advertising that heavily.Friction is the inefficiency of your people to consistently delight your customers.Gravity is the resistance of your competitors. How strong or weak are they?It has been my observation that a roaringly successful business with a lot of momentum can coast for about 6 months before people begin to suspect that something has changed. During those 6 months, the business owner will say, “I cut my advertising and nothing changed! I should have done this a long time ago.”At the end of a year, they begin blaming the media. “The thing we were using no longer works. We’ve got to find the new thing.”At the end of two years, the wheels begin to come off. But it has been so long since they changed their advertising that no one suspects it to be the problem.At the end of four years, the company is in real trouble.I have seen this movie so many times that I can describe every scene and quote every line of dialogue.Whether it is after a one-month vacation, a three-month sabbatical, or a six-month abandonment, when that company starts advertising again, they invariably become frustrated that it doesn’t seem to be making a difference. (Remember what I said? “The fuel you will burn to regain your speed is a lot more fuel than you would have burned to maintain your speed.” Payback is hell. It’s going to cost that company at least six months of painful fuel inefficiency to regain the momentum they lost during those six months they were lazily picking their nose instead of advertising.“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the lion or a gazelle – when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.”– Christopher McDougall, “Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe”A second business owner believes they can build their business to a certain size and then, “just hold what they’ve got,” as though that volume of business is something they can count on from now on. But “holding what you’ve got” is never really an option because the physics of mass, friction, and gravity apply to maintaining your current speed just as surely as they apply to regaining lost momentum.“Hold-what-we’ve-got” business owners quietly believe, “We have all these customers now, so we don’t need to reach them with advertising anymore.”BREAKING NEWS: People stay reached like grass stays mowed. A good restaurant is an exception to this rule. In truth, I think you could open a marvelous restaurant on the steppes of Mongolia and people would find it and tell their friends about it.But you’re not in the restaurant business.Your business inhales and exhales, expands and contracts, just like every other living organism. This fantasy of, “holding what you’ve got” springs from the misbegotten belief that your business can hold its breath.Maybe you can do it. I don’t know. Give it a try and we’ll find out.Are you old enough to have seen a NASA rocket lift off the launchpad at Cape Canaveral? Remember the profound amount of fuel they had to burn to push that rocket slowly upward? Mass and Gravity are a bitch, whether you are trying to launch a rocket or a business. Fuel inefficiency during lift-off is just a fact of life.If you let that rocket begin to fall back to earth, you’ve got to start all over again.I’m sorry that I had to be the one to tell you.Roy H. WilliamsCan you teach yourself and your colleagues to generate great ideas — ideas actually worth pursuing? Robin Landa has been studying where breakthrough ideas come from — so-called ideation — and she can explain how anyone can conjure concepts that will be REVOLUTIONARY. Robin tells roving reporter Rotbart, “There are three ‘Gs’ that underlie every worthwhile creation.” Want to know what those Gs are? Join us at MondayMorningRadio.com and we’ll tell you everything you need to know. The party will start the moment you arrive.

I recently read a pair of books by Arkady Martine, a writer who is new to Science Fiction. A Memory Called Empire (2019) and A Desolation Called Peace (2021), each won the Hugo Award for Best Novel.I like Arkady Martine and I like her books. She is an extraordinary storyteller.But she is not yet a great writer.That was not intended as an insult. Dan Brown sold a staggering number of The DaVinci Code, but he is not yet a great writer, either. We tend to read the book of a great storyteller only once. Knowing the story, the magic is gone. This is why every thrift shop in the world is stacked with countless copies of 50 Shades of Gray and The DaVinci Code.But we read the works of great writers again and again. A great writer could write an instruction manual and make it captivating.Literary evaluation is wildly subjective, of course, so I owe an explanation to Arkady Martine and to you.I never read borrowed books because I intend to circle passages and make notes in the margins along the way. To deface my own books with circles and notes is a sign of respect for the author, but for me to deface the book of a friend would not be a sign of respect.I will not finish a book if the author is not a great storyteller. I will not circle any passages if the author is a not a great writer.The hope of every great storyteller should be to also become a great writer. To win the Pulitzer Prize or the Nobel Prize in literature, you have to be both.John Steinbeck was both.J.R.R. Tolkien was both.Tom Robbins is both.Bill Bryson is both.Barbara Kingsolver is both.I am currently on page 26 of Barbara Kingsolver’s 546-page novel, Demon Copperhead,* and I have already circled 10 passages. Indy will transcribe those passages into the rabbit hole when I have completed the book. (The Random Quotes database is now 6,108 quotes and climbing. – Indy)The stories that comprise One Thousand and One Nights were compiled a thousand years ago. In one of those stories, Prince Husain travels to Bisnagar and buys a magic carpet. Do not let Disney mislead you. Husain’s carpet is not a ‘flying’ carpet that rides the air like a raptor. His magic carpet is like a good book. All you have to do is decide where you want to be, sit down, and you are there.Good writing engages all your senses as it moves you to another place, another time, another life.You are at a spongey 100-year-old seaside resort favored by the idle rich in the tropical south.“The air was heavy with oleander and sea mist colliding with mold and wood polish and hotel soap and the metallic vapor of Diet Coke and the alcoholic ferment of generations of cougars in Chanel No. 5.”– Olivia NuzziYou are now in the brittle north.“It’s FREEZING cold; like the air is made of broken glass. Our English cold is all roly-poly snowmen and ‘woo-hoo! it’s a snow day!’ a hey-there friendly kind of cold. But this cold is mean…”“It’s getting so hard to breathe, my lungs are filling up with ants and there isn’t room for air any more. There’s a monster made of cold, hard as the edge of a pavement, coming towards us in the dark and it’s cutting through the windscreen and doors and windows and the only weapon against it is heat, but we don’t have any heat.”“…she felt it now as vastly, cruelly impersonal; a frozen darkness absorbing you into itself. She felt it filling her hollow spaces, embedding itself as icy marrow in her bones and then consciousness seeped away from her into the Arctic blackness.”– Rosamund LuptonYou stood in the rain sixty-five miles north of Seattle.“And it rained a sickness. And it rained a fear. And it rained an odor. And it rained a murder. And it rained pale eggs of the beast.Rain fell on the towns and the fields. It fell on the tractor sheds and the labyrinth of sloughs. Rain fell on toadstools and ferns and bridges. It fell on the head of John Paul Ziller.Rain poured for days, unceasing. Flooding occurred. The wells filled with reptiles. The basements filled with fossils. Mossy-haired lunatics roamed the dripping peninsulas. Moisture gleamed on the beak of the Raven. Ancient shamans, rained from their homes in dead tree trunks, clacked their clamshell teeth in the drowned doorways of forests. Rain hissed on the Freeway. It hissed at the prows of fishing boats. It ate the old warpaths, spilled the huckleberries, ran in the ditches. Soaking. Spreading. Penetrating.And it rained an omen. And it rained a poison. And it rained a pigment. And it rained a seizure…”– Tom RobbinsYou are exploring Africa in the 1930’s.“The trail ran north to Molo; at night it ran straight to the stars. It ran up the side of the Mau Escarpment until at ten thousand feet it found the plateau and rested there, and some of the stars burned beneath its edge.”– Beryl MarkhamYou are learning from your friend Bill what to expect when visiting Rome.“I love the way the Italians park. You turn any street corner in Rome and it looks as if you’ve just missed a parking competition for blind people. Cars are pointed in every direction, half on the sidewalks and half off, facing in, facing sideways, blocking garages and side streets and phone booths, fitted into spaces so tight that the only possible way out would be through the sunroof. Romans park their cars the way I would park if I had just spilled a beaker of hydrochloric acid on my lap.All over the city you see drivers bullying their cars into spaces about the size of a sofa cushion, holding up traffic and prompting every driver within three miles to lean on his horn and give a passable imitation of a man in an electric chair. If the opening is too small for a car, the Romans will decorate it with litter – an empty cigarette packet; a wedge of half-eaten pizza; twenty-seven cigarette butts; half an ice cream cone with an ooze of old ice cream emerging from the bottom, danced on by a delirium of flies; an oily tin of sardines; a tattered newspaper; and something truly unexpected, like a tailor’s dummy or a dead goat.”– Bill BrysonYou are looking into the eyes of Jorge Luis Borges as he philosophizes about the dimension of time and his own place in it.“Time is the substance I am made of. Time is a river that carries me away, but I am the river; it is a tiger that mangles me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. The world, alas, is real; I, alas, am Borges.”Indy Beagle, alas, is real; I alas, amRoy H. Williams*Demon Copperhead isn’t about a demon or the paranormal. As of page 26, it is about a boy growing up with a teenage Mom in a mobile home in the mountains of southern Appalachia. I find it incomprehensible that a 67-year-old woman is able to know the thoughts of a 10-year-old boy in Appalachia, but having once been a 10-year-old boy in Oklahoma, she nailed it. – RHW

I want you to:be more productive,reduce your mistakes,shorten your learning curve,and elevate your success.If I am going to help you do these things, we must first look at what’s hiding in your blind spot.Are you ready?Teamwork in Business is Highly Overrated.Teamwork is never the answer.Individual responsibility is the answer.A relay race is really just a series of individual runners, three of whom begin their efforts with an advantage, or a deficit, handed to them by the previous runner. If a runner increases that advantage or shortens that deficit, he or she was successful.When individuals are rewarded collectively, we create the illusion of a team.1: Individual responsibility brings out the best in us.2: You create a committee when you remove individual responsibility.3: Every bureaucracy begins as a well-intentioned committee.But we love to be members of a tribe. Being part of a team – a tribe – gives us a sense of identity, purpose, and adventure. These feelings help us to perform as individuals.Americans love football. But it isn’t the teamwork that attracts us. It is the tribalism and the tribal leaders.Quarterbacks, running backs and receivers – the tribal leaders who score the most points – are paid a lot more money than the rest of the team. So why do coaches tell players that every member of the team is “equally important”? I can’t help but hear the “Animal Farm’ voice of George Orwell, his tongue about to punch a hole in his cheek,“All animals are created equal. But some animals are more equal than others.”The role of a tribal leader is to instill the values, beliefs, and culture of the tribe into each of its members and each of its fans.Tribal leaders are different from tribal managers.A Manager – a Coach – holds each individual responsible for delivering the outcome that he or she has been assigned.Steve Jobs did not invent the Apple computer. Steve Wozniak invented the Apple computer.Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs were not a team. They were partners, each of whom had specific responsibilities.“Most inventors and engineers I’ve met are like me … they live in their heads. They’re almost like artists. In fact, the very best of them are artists. And artists work best alone …. I’m going to give you some advice that might be hard to take. That advice is: Work alone… Not on a committee. Not on a team.” *That is Steve Wozniak’s advice to you.“Nothing was ever created by two men. There are no good collaborations, whether in music, in art, in poetry, in mathematics, in philosophy… Once the miracle of creation has taken place, the group can build and extend it, but the group never invents anything. The preciousness lies in the lonely mind of a man.”– John Steinbeck, East of EdenWozniak was the first runner in a relay race. He handed the baton to Steve Jobs. When Jobs was forced to hand that baton to John Sculley in 1985, Scully stumbled and handed the baton to Michael Spindler who stumbled and handed it to Gil Amelio who fell on his face and left a 20-foot skid mark on the track.Steve Jobs returned to the company in 1996 and brought it back to life. After he died in 2011, tribal manager Tim Cook lifted Apple to a $1 trillion stock valuation, the first ever in history.Professor Scott Galloway made a piercing comment about the power of tribal leaders when he was interviewed by Christiane Amanpour,“As societies become wealthier and more educated, the reliance on a super-being and church attendance goes down, but they still look for idols. Into that void steps technology leaders because technology… …is the closest thing we have to magic. Our new Jesus Christ was Steve Jobs, and now Elon Musk has taken on that mantle.”Although I admired the abilities of Steve Jobs, he was merely the popularizer, the face, the dynamic leader, the pitchman, the philosopher, the high priest of the Apple religion. Without Wozniak, Steve Jobs would likely have been just another California techie bouncing from company to company in blue jeans, a black turtleneck, and sneakers.I will leave Elon Musk up to you.Roy H. Williamswith special thanks to Tom Grimes of Amarillo for his 20 years of research into Social Tribes in America.* Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan CainThe Rice and Beans Millionaire: The Case of an Improbable Entrepreneur by Wizard Academy Instructors Bryan and Jeffrey Eisenberg. Short chapters. You’ll read several stories about Wizard Academy starting in Chapter 27: The Crazy Ones. Read and review this book. Do this and you will not leave a 20-foot skid mark on the track like Gil Amelio. In fact, 2023 will be your best year ever.– Indy Beagle Cathy Nesbitt is a passionate worm advocate, a sort of worm royalty. For the past 20 years Cathy has bred and sold red wigglers and European nightcrawlers to enthusiastic customers who use the squigglers to facilitate composting — converting household garbage into nutrient-rich fertilizer. Cathy is that rare entrepreneur who is willing to get her hands dirty in the pursuit of profit. This is the story of Cathy’s success. Welcome to 2023 and MondayMorningRadio.com.