Waking Up to Narcissism

Is there such a thing as a "nice narcissist?" Or are they on par with other mythical creatures like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster? Tony goes on a deep dive into Dr. Elinor Greenberg's article "White Knight & Black Knights: Pro-Social & Anti-Social NPD," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-narcissism/201804/white-knights-black-knights-pro-social-anti-social-npd and he starts the episode with another listener example of narcissistic confabulation and references the article "Coping with Narcissistic Confabulators" by Dr. Sharie Stines, LPCC https://psychcentral.com/pro/recovery-expert/2015/12/coping-with-narcissistic-confabulators#1Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony answers questions from his private Facebook group on everything from discovering your self-worth post-narcissism, how you can trust again in your new relationships, levels of intimacy, and more. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Explaining your relationship to the narcissist or emotionally immature person, people, or entity in your life to those around you can be incredibly validating when it's met with empathy, curiosity, and understanding. But, when you open up to someone and they respond with judgment, neutrality, or "one-upmanship" ("you think your situation is bad, let me tell you about my co-workers, college roommates, former high school substitute gym teachers relationship...at least that isn't what you're going through!") it can make you feel even worse! So how do you know who is safe to talk to, and what do you even say? Tony gives examples from his private women's group of positive and negative experiences with sharing. Plus, Tony explains narcissistic triangulation by referencing the article "What is Triangulation in Psychology," by Arlin Cuncic from Verywellmind.com https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-triangulation-in-psychology-5120617Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony welcomes Ross Rosenberg, author of the best-selling book “The Human Magnet Syndrom - The Codependent Narcissist Trap,” https://www.amazon.com/Human-Magnet-Syndrome-Codependent-Narcissist/dp/B0B31MDWYM/ to the podcast. Ross shares his personal story of what led him to write The Human Magnet Syndrome. Tony and Ross break down “Self-Love Deficit Disorder,” and Ross shares what it looks like to move into a place of “Self-Love Abundance.” Ross also tackles the difficult question of “should I stay or should I go” in a relationship with a narcissist, and what role do children play in making the decision to stay or go? You can find out more about Ross, and his courses and programs at https://www.selfloverecovery.com/Ross’s latest “Codependency Cure™” work, like The Human Magnet Syndrome, breaks new ground in the mental health field. This groundbreaking work reformulates, redefines, and ultimately renames “codependency” to “Self-Love Deficit Disorder™." His original theories and concepts, such as the “Relationship Compatibility Theory,” “The 11 Stage Self-Love Recovery Treatment Program,” “The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique,” and many others, have reshaped what we know about codependency, codependency recovery, narcissism, dysfunctional relationships, and narcissistic abuse.Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony tackles the topic of co-parenting with a narcissist or emotionally immature spouse/ex-spouse. He discusses the significance of a child's reliance on external validation from a parent and what that looks like when couples stay together purely for the children. And he breaks down the article "How a Narcissistic Co-Parent Can Manipulate Your Child," by Erin Leonard Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peaceful-parenting/202205/how-narcissistic-co-parent-can-manipulate-your-child And Tony shares a poem from a person who is on the path of healing from parental narcissistic abuse. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

The pain of the narcissistic "discard" can at times feel unbearable. And for many, it seems that the harder you work to try and make sense of the discard, the more it hurts. But getting to a genuine acceptance doesn't even feel like it is on the radar. Tony digs deeper into how we show up in relationships as emotionally immature, both parties, with an almost unspoken agreement that we will mature together. But what happens when one person isn't aware that the goal is to become more emotionally secure, stable, and less controlling? The harder the partner tries to find themselves, the more complex the relationship becomes until, ultimately, the narcissist appears to move on at an incredibly rapid pace, leaving you feeling like your relationship and your life up to that point didn't matter. Tony refers to the article "What is Narcissistic Discard" by Sanjana Gupta https://www.verywellmind.com/narcissistic-discard-causes-impact-and-coping-strategies-5218979Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

If you've ever been on the receiving end of gaslighting, you've probably wondered "does this person honestly believe what they are saying right now? Because they seem SO certain that it makes me question my own reality...even about something I KNOW is true!" As with all things narcissistic, there is definitely a spectrum and a lot of variables at play, but understanding "narcissistic confabulation," will definitely help make some sense of what often seems nonsensical. Tony quotes the abstract in the article Dissociation and Confabulation in Narcissistic Disorders by Sam Vaknin https://www.heraldopenaccess.us/openaccess/dissociation-and-confabulation-in-narcissistic-disordersGo to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony takes excerpts from David Foster Wallace's "This Is Water," Kenyon College commencement speech to discuss the need to step outside of our own ego, and experience, in order to understand others https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/ He then discusses Russ Harris's ACT metaphor "Donkeys, Carrots and Sticks" to talk about using love, or coercion to get our needs met/motivate others. https://thehappinesstrap.com/donkeys-carrots-sticks/Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony tackles the question he receives the most from listeners, should I stay or should I go? And if I decide to go, when? Plus he discusses what the training of ordinary mice to go through mazes can tell us about ourselves from Vanessa Van Edwards's article "Expectancy Effect: Improve Performance With This Human Behavior Quirk," from https://www.scienceofpeople.com/expectancy-effect/ Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Ending your relationship with a narcissist can leave one feeling discarded, less than, and what Ross Rosenberg, author of “Human Magnet Syndrome” calls “Pathologically lonely.” That loneliness is part of what Rosenberg Identifies as “Self-Love Deficit Disorder.” https://www.selfloverecovery.com/pages/self-love-deficit-disorder-and-self-love-abundance In today’s episode, Tony reads a few listener reviews, and then he addresses Rosenberg’s model to move from “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” to “Self-Love Abundance.”Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to take Tony’s mini-course on how to identify, and work toward, a healthy, emotionally mature relationship. With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ