Slate Conversations

In this mailbag episode of How To!, we get an update from Elizabeth, the 43-year-old listener who contacted us for advice on her plan to have sex for the first time. Then, co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace get listeners’ takes on our most talked-about episodes of the year—and the staff holds an impromptu idea meeting for upcoming episodes. Links Mentioned:  My Old Books Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Over the past few months, we've been asking you to tell us stories about your beauty interventions. You told us about feeling caught between viewing appearance improvements as vanity and recognizing how much looking a certain way affects your relationships, career, and self-worth. In this episode, Anna talks to listeners about their appearance choices: Asher, who spent $43,000 on plastic surgery and openly celebrates his investments; Caroline, who used fillers and Botox after her divorce but recently filed for bankruptcy and can no longer afford treatments; Alexandra, who stopped dyeing her gray hair at 38 despite pushback from family; and Nick, whose multiple cosmetic surgeries nearly ended his marriage and forced him to confront deeper issues. Read Nick Dothée’s essay: What Plastic Surgery Couldn’t Fix Podcast production by Zoe Azulay Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/DSM⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy and Elizabeth are joined by guest host Rebecca Onion to dive into her and Dan Kois’ definitive list of the 25 best picture books of the last quarter century. Which modern stories have staying power? Which books belong beside the classics on your child’s shelf? The hosts debate and delight in the choices. But first, they share their latest triumphs and fails: hiding snacks, an urgent care scare, and a  deeply irrational fears.  If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by sociologist and content creator Josh Lora, who goes by @tellthebeees on TikTok and Substack. In his viral piece, “The Mainstreaming of Loserdom,” Lora explores how a generation of people is becoming proudly anti-social, often in favor of staying home on their phones. While less and less people may be partying, they’re not exactly happy about it. Are we doomed to doomscroll, or can we fight for our right to party again? Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reporter and former Care & Feeding host Aymann Ismail joins Elizabeth & Lucy to talk about how to approach conversations with kids about violence in the news. The hosts discuss ways to frame scary or divisive headlines, how to balance honesty with reassurance, and how parents can manage their own reactions while guiding kids through uncertain times. Plus, Lucy reflects on her own experience processing the past week’s difficult news. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318.If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus.  Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by Slate senior writer Ben Mathis-Lilley to say goodbye after eleven years at Slate. Ben was responsible for iconic stories like “Wouldn’t It Be Nice to Get Knocked Out Cold With a Shovel for Exactly Six Weeks and Five Days?”, and is known as the “funniest person in Slack” despite spending his days reporting on our terrifying political climate. How does Ben stay sane and positive online when the internet is engulfed with bad news? One thing’s for certain: It’s not in his University of Michigan football Discord.  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Much of our common understanding of hypnosis has been gleaned from mind-control plots in Hollywood movies or hokey on-stage demonstrations. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Stanford University psychiatrist and researcher Dr. David Spiegel to talk about what hypnosis is (and isn’t), as well as its potential to address stress, pain, and even athletic performance. Plus, with Carvell wrestling with an ongoing major project, Dr. Spiegel tests our host’s hypnotizability—then leads him through an exercise aimed at confronting procrastination. Learn more about Dr. Spiegel and his self-hypnosis app, Reveri. If you liked this episode, check out How To Stop Being Anxious and How To Quiet the Chatter in Your Head.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To! is produced by Rosie Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad, who produced this episode. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Megan Greenwell was 34 she landed a coveted job in journalism as the editor-in-chief of the sports and culture blog, Deadspin. Just over a year later a post about why she was resigning went viral – a private equity firm had bought Deadspin’s parent company, and was seeking "a quick cash-out rather than the growth that comes from a well-run business." Her experience led her to spend six years investigating the industry for her book Bad Company: Private Equity and the Death of the American Dream which follows four Americans whose lives were upended by private equity takeovers in retail, healthcare, housing, and media. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A listener writes in about a toddler who loves bringing toys to the playground but rarely wants to share them. The hosts unpack why sharing is so tough at this age, how parents can set expectations, and their own philosophies on how kids—and adults—learn to share. Plus, check-ins: Lucy brings a delightfully funny Italian-American teen romance story to the table. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask questions, share feedback, and suggest future topics. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an extra weekly grab-bag of content on the Plus Playground, an ad-free experience across the network, and support the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus — or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Listen to Opportunity Gap wherever you get your podcasts: ⁠⁠https://lnk.to/opportunitygapPS!careandfeeding⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, hosts Candice Lim and Kate Lindsay are joined by writer Virgie Tovar, whose latest podcast, GLP-1 Truth Serum, explores the predatory nature of GLP-1 marketing, and companies’ attempts to target plus-size creators. But #BodyPositivity was getting backlash long before these new weight loss drugs became trendy, and now social media has gone from a safe space to a minefield. Is #BodyPositivity really gone for good?  Get more of ICYMI with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of ICYMI and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the ICYMI show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/icymiplus for access wherever you listen. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, Candice Lim, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices